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Promises, Promises, knew you'd never keep...


  What's the deal with the rash of ticket offers that have gone awry? I don't mind missing the 1st game as long as a certain someone doesn't try and skip out on his bet.

        Mr _____ lost  an extremely painful bet to Le Duane and is scrambling with a myriad of excuses. I will forgive him this one time since he made up for it with tickets to....   Rams_l_1   vs Bannercolts  on....


         Life is good

Get you love drunk of my hump. My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump...

Thanks to the Black Eyed Peas for that slice of musical genius...


       That song can only mean one thing....


That's right Boys and Girls...

   It's  Hump Day Fun Day

        Thanks to my buddy (The Greek Island Seductress) Kara for  this bit of boredom reduction lovingly called...   Mr. Picasso Head.

   As a Fall bonus and a YAY to the 1st Snows of the year I give you ladies the ability to be  men for a day

         Be honest,  you've always dreamed of having this ability.

Acid, Bitter and Sad

     The ability to take a night that's gone to shit and turn it around is a recent acquisition but one I'm glad I have...

                   Mothers don't let your babies grow up to be...

                             This is me letting it go...


Dog Owners Only


If you are not a Dog owner, skip this post...

Dog1 People say I spoil  the pup....   Maybe...  But,  that's not really the point.  Like many quality dog owners we buy our dogs toys


And, like many other loving Dog owners I clean up my yard after my dog takes care of his business.  I diligently use my scooping tools several times a week and deposit his business in the Doggie DooleyDoggiedooley_sm  Yes, this is really what you think it is. An outdoor toilet for dogs. Only The human gets to  deposit the business for the doggie. Place the Doggie Dooley  in your garden or flower beds, add enzymes, a little bit of water and the business melts away. Leaving behind...



      Which leads me to my point...      My dog loves his toys and doesn't destroy them. But, he does have this habit of eating the feet, ears, antlers, beaks and tails off  said animal like toys. So, once the Doogie Dooley  has done it's ecologically sound duties (pun intended)...

      I'm left with this truly disturbing  grave yard of  faux animal  body parts.


Monday, Monday So Good to Me...

Tired  I am so lying...   I'm a tired boy,  so you'll have to excuse my rambling.

   This weekend was busy, fun and educational. Who said I didn't have a life? Oh yeah, me.   

      One of the things I learned this weekend? While all of us who read & write blogs are convinced the world revolves around blogs...  I was amazed to find out how many people not only have never read a blog but don't even have a clue as to what one is.  YikesAnd to think,  I thought we were part of an international phenomenon.

    The other thing I learned...  The mating ritual is still as dysfunctional as ever.  While it was cute to watch people at play Friday night at  Happy Hour... A few things occurred to me. (A) Unless you've dated your best friend of the opposite sex,  do not fix them up with the line "OMG, they're perfect for you".  While a friend can be a cool  friend, you have no idea what kind of f*cked up mess they are to date. (B) Date amongst your own  species!  If you're  liberal, smart, hot and in to fashion kinda girl, that cute guy who just loves Nascar and thinks the shrubbery is just misunderstood would not be a great match. {I watched that one unfold before my eyes} (C) Speaking of fashion...  Is the Pirate look in? Never mind, it was too disturbing to re-live. (D) If all of you single and looking  folks are as determined to find a mate as the desperation in your eyes leads me to believe.  Try picking a place where you can actually hear each other talk, as a venue for the mating ritual.  I'm not positive, but  shouting  "What?" , "Huh?" and "I'm sorry what did you say your name/ you do again" all night doesn't seem like the key to lasting dating bliss.

Pilates is...


             A pain in my  ASS

Chair    Behold the torture device in question...   The " chair". How can something so innocuous looking cause this much pain to a 6'5 male?  I know getting in shape causes a few aches and pains. But,  good Lord... I have muscles in my butt awakening for the very 1st time and it's NOT a pleasant good morning they're singing.

     If the pain and suffering  the Marquis De Pilates was doling out wasn't enough,  in strolls some 60 something year old gray haired groover doing the same  exercise I'm doing without the all the sweat and whining. I'm going to be embarrassed by a Golden Girl  and have butt pain all in one day?

                But,  I'm the one that pays for it. (couldn't resist)

Thievery Corporation

       Since October is turning out to be the month for lifting from other blogs I'd thought I'd continue the trend...

      I absconded with this from  Crits  and she in turn stole it from Femi...   

    While on the subject of  Crits... The thought of her Minivan driving, Tiffany shopping,  suburban self using the term "Biatch" made my day.  Too damn cute...

                                 On to the Experiment...

Google images for each of the following- choose an image out of the results to represent.

1. Town you grew up
2. Town where you live now
3. Your real name
4. Favorite cocktail
5. Favorite smell

1: Where I grew up



2: Where I Live Now


3: My Real Name


4: My Favorite Cocktail


5: My Favorite Smell


Yes, it's grown in Columbia and NO it's not that.



The Humpty Dance is your Chance...


                                  To do the Hump.

                         The Hump Day Fun Day that isHump20day_7...

Hi kids! This thing called sleeping at night has me a bit behind so, it's a test instead of a game this week... Ok,  several test.  They're short and easy, no whining.

Not to worry these are all PG13

What Office Space character are you?  (Samir)

               What State are you? (Colorado)

                Animal? What Animal?  (Gorilla)

Cardinal Baseball, who says it's only a game?


                                               Not Me

                                              Go CardsJhdmlbcards_1! 

Please, Please, Please...

Do not  break my heart  during the Swan Song  of our  beloved....Stadium

I Have a New Love....

                 And she has forever made me her bitch.

                                Her name is...C_1_1_101_ambien_1  Ambien

I like to call her night-nite, when we're snuggling.

     It has been over fifteen years since I've slept through night without being  ill.  Just sleep. Who knew it could be like this? Is this what you  normal people have been doing while I'm awake chatting with the scary and lecherous on the web or watching everything known to man on TV?  Damn you, for not letting me in on your little secret.  Sleep... Fitful Sleep.   Ahhh Sleep, you Beautiful Goddess  you...  I will write poetry in your name. I will sacrifice goats in your honor (not really)

                       What will I do,  now that my productivity is no longer tied to the fact that I'm usually up for 19 hours?

                           I do not f*cking care!

                     I slept for seven straight hours!

                               I am Re-Born.

Aural Ectasy

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