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August 31, 2005
Author:
Wes Clark
Location: Ontario, Canada
A focused and multi-faceted individual, Wes Clark exhibits note-worthy skill in a diverse range of disciplines. He has written and performed Poetry, won awards for acting, developed Web Sites to compete against Multi-Billion Dollar Corporations on the Internet, and is known for his problem solving skills as an experienced Millwright. Such a diverse background has inspired many to describe Clark as "Helpful", "Articulate", even "Friendly".
Clark's closest friends affectionately refer to him as, "A dying famewhore whose raging bullshit is easily thwarted".
Chemo - Unbelievable Pain
Here I am talking about how easy I've had it, and more than half way finished my treatments. I woke up yesterday with pain in my ankles. It was pretty annoying. It felt exactly like your knee feels just before it cracks - if you're bending down or something. Like it was on the verge of cracking and going away.
I got up and walked around for a bit, neither ankle felt better. So I fell back asleep ; 30 minutes later my right leg was completely fine but my left ankle and knee really hurt. I called the hospital to see if I could take an extra strength tylenol. That's the strongest pain killer I've ever taken in my life.
The pain came back a couple hours later and got worse and worse. So I called back and was told to take Ibuprofein. That worked great for 3 hours ; then the pain was so serious I was crying. So I took another one, and an hour later the pain was so severe I was crying and shaking. It's unbelievable to be knocked on your ass by the most severe pain of your life while stepping up through medications you've never had a reason to take.
So I called the emergency number I have available and a very understanding doctor faxed a prescription down the street to a local pharmacy. Prednisone - an anti-inflammatory, Neproxin - a pain killer and Perkocet were all waiting for me at a local Shoppers Drug Mart.
Of course, by the time I showed up I had tears streaming down my face, I was walking with a cain by trying to hold up *all my weight* and throw my feet forward. I was shaking like the heroin junkies that actually exist in this shitass city I live in and eventually I'm standing in front of the pharmacist with people behind me watching me shake like the worlds biggest pansy / drug addict going through withdrawl saying, "Which of these is Perkocet!". I didn't explain I wanted to know so I *didn't* take it unless I absolutely needed it.
In the end, I absolutely needed it. lol. The doctor I spoke to explained the pain is the result of Cisplatin - one of the chemo drugs I'm taking and in a relatively large dose. She explained as well if the tumour suddenly breaks up, my joints can fill with an acidic buildup that burns like no tomorrow. It didn't feel so much like burning, it felt like someone was crushing my knees with a vice. In fact, by the time I took the Perkocet - which I had some serious reservations about - it felt like my elbows were in a vice as well. It made it hard to open the bottle.
Having experienced the pain now, however - as bad as I looked to my fiance and family shaking and crying and not being able to walk - I think to myself, "Jeez I could take a lot more than that" although I'm sure it didn't look that way. I wish I didn't have a horrible story about how the Chemo is making me feel, but in the interest of chronicalling my experiences honestly - that was the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. Now I have it solved with a steady regiment of these prescriptions ; we'll see what happens in future days.
Posted by Wes Clark at August 31, 2005 02:03 PM