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Gordon Reid's Cartoon Album (updated 11th Nov. 2001)	Welcome to the home page of The Red Final, fanzine of Aberdeen Football Club. We publish a paper edition every few weeks during the season (number 70 in the works now and aimed at the visit of the Arabs). Contributions for the next issue to: PO Box 368, Aboyne AB34 5LZ N.B. Our email account is suspended till further notice. We have a circulation that reaches and refreshes all corners of the Earth by snail mail and this frustrating electronic medium. Updated 28th October 2005 11:45 Every one of our contributors is proud to be a Sheepshagger. Fixtures 2003-2004 (updated 16th May) Fixtures Archive The bibliography of Aberdeen FC - listing all relevant publications known to TRF. (updated 10th December 2003) TRF's statistical review of AFC   Site Archive pages - See what's gone before
TRF's Bad Joke Zone (updated 2nd August 2003)
	28th October 2005 - McKimmie Spiks Shite Shock! Regular followers of TRF's opinionated paper rag will have no difficulty in getting their heads round today's headline. In fact, we could produce this every time McKimmie appears in print in the Evening Depress, but frankly we can't be bothered. Just thought we'd keep our hand in this time though, as he has chosen to take a pop at Aberdeen fans, thus extending what has been a long running feud brought about by his own performances at Pittodrie in the latter part of his otherwise glittering career. Fit's he deen en? Slagged off supporters for slagging off Michael Hart and Richie Byrne. Hmmm. Very interesting, because from where this punter sits neither player has been getting it in the neck. In fact most people seem glad to have Hart back in harness, he hasn't taken long to get settled in and begin the return to last season's form and he made a real difference against Dundee United. Byrne is much lore likely to have detractors because of his unorthodox style and the fact it seems to take him a while to get into a game. At the same time, anybody can see that the guy is a wholehearted tryer, heavily involved and a Rougvie style character who will undoubtedly head for cult status even if he does struggle with basic passing and ball control sometimes. By the way, just what DID Jimmy Nicholl say to him on Tuesday night? Whatever it was it turned him from a radge into a red devil. Mr. McKimmie gets paid to vent unpalatable opinions at us in the paper, but surely he can come up with plenty else to cheese off his readership without having a direct attack on them. It certainly doesn't look like he is doing much to help a flagging circulation if the desperate application of weird parrtotlike mascots is anything to go by.
	HANG ON, GET IN In my first year at university I was watching a documentary about England's Euro 96 campaign with some of my new collegiate pals when I heard the phrase that would come to be used by myself and all in front of the screen that day whenever their was success to be celebrated. Stuart Pearce was describing the emotions he experienced after slamming home a penalty in a shoot out at Wembley, having suffered disappointment from the spot in the past. He recalled that once he had scored he didn't feel too ecstatic as he turned to walk back to the half way line, but then it hit him, he thought to himself, "Hang on, get in" and subsequently ran off towards the England fans and went "pure mental" to use Glaswegian parlance. Sorry. Such emotions were experienced by me at the Rob Roy pub in West London last Sunday as I and a pubfull of fellow Dandies went crazy after watching the Dons shaft dirty rangers and put more than one spanner in their title defence works. Not only are they now trailing the tims despite their less than awe inspiring start to the season but they go into the infirm derby without one of their senior players, and demoralised after a tough, tough match. Truly, it was the best Dons performance I have seen in a long, long time. McNaughton was brilliant, Lovell, with one touch showed why Calderwood shelled out a six figure sum for him, and Anderson was the epitome of the courageous captain, giving it all for the cause. He rightly got man of the match from Mark Hateful. Were it not for Dado Prso, the huns might have been slaughtered. He seems to be the one player that will give them a chance of beating the tims. Hopefully it will be a nil each draw, with no near misses, skilful play, corner kicks or good saves. And a twenty-two man brawl to finish with where everyone is wounded and sent off after the final whistle. Calderwood has cracked celtic away and rangers at home. The next step must be to gain victory at iprix. If we make the top six, as I'm confident we will, we will get at least two shots at it this season. Sorting out Hearts away would eb a good idea too. How I would love to be at that one. Captain Sweaty
	A Stroll Down memory lane A Saturday night in April saw some Dandies realise an ambition few if any dreamed they would ever see, sitting at a table in Aberdeen's Queen's Hotel sharing a drink with heroes such as King Joey Harper, Derek Cuptie McKay, George Murray, Arthur Bumper Graham and It's a goal, a goal a goal for Henning Boel. The reality was that we did and a rare night was had by all. We had worthies from the world of cyber space, Tommy, The Torry Loon, The Oil Baron and yours truly, RTYD, all of whom were thrilled to talk fitba and in particular Aiberdeen fitba, with boys we had worshiped from afar. Here they were, in the flesh, ordinary boys who could kick a ba' better than us ordinary boys and thus elevated, by us, to the status of Gods. Of course like all Idols they were a bittie tarnished; Cup tie likes a bucket, as does King Joey, so they were in fact, well, jist like us. George Murray I used to remember as the quiet man of Pittodrie. He is quiet, but my God he's built like a brick shithoose. Henning Boel seemed truly pleased to be able to talk about his team's greatest triumph, lifting the Scottish Cup on 11th April 1970, in front of 108,000 fans. One of those fans was me, a starry eyed 11 year old, battle hardened in the world of cup finals having been at the 1967 debacle, just before the Lisbon Lions became the Lisbon Lions. I thought back to my auld fella who due to illness couldn't make the evening, who took me to the match at the ripe old age of…38. Jesus!, I did the sums and couldn't believe how young he was then, I always thought of him as an old radge! The evening began with us playing spot the hero and I have to admit to being a tad disappointed that more of the team weren't there, such as our captain. In 1970 you would never have believed that Martin Buchan would not go down in the annals of history as our greatest ever Captain and sweeper, but you know what happened next. A captain who when asked by a reporter for a "quick word" responded "velocity" and never broke stride as he breezed majestically past him. Another I looked forward to seeing was Jim Hermiston one of the team who beat Gornik 5-0 in a friendly at Pittodrie in what I still believe to be the finest display of fitba ever seen at God's little acre. However, I'm a great believer in concentrating on who was there as opposed to who wasn't. Now this is where it gets a wee bit hazy, you see the demon drink set in and well ye ken fit it's like. We watched a re-run of some of the action, the players talked about their experiences before, during and after the game and we had a wee raffle. I won second prize, a signed ba', after the Oil Baron got first pick of the tickets. Those of you familiar with the Northern Golf Club will realise that there is nothing new there. There will very soon be another batch of nostalgia filled evenings when the Gothenburg team start to do what the Lisbon Lions did and start touring. Quite right too. Nostalgia is not something to wallow in, rather it is something to galvanise the spirit, to put the shite of today behind you and not to accept that there is nothing we can do as the Old Firm are "too big". Well they've always been too big, a pair of leeches sucking the lifeblood out of our game, but they have on occasion been put to the sword. So let's sharpen our blades and get after them. First, not Third!!! Up the Dons RTYD
	The TRF Fantasy Cup is done and dusted... and the winner is............... Niall Dowds, whose Rogers Xi edged Mark Hay's 2 Jimmies in a closely contested final, largely thanks to Zander Diamond's failing to last the full ninety at Fir Park. For anyone who's interested, the winning line up was: David Preece, Kevin McNaughton, Russell Anderson, Ian Murray, Steven Pressley, Burton O'Brien, Barry Robson, Barry Wilson, Kevin McBride, Derek Riordan and Steve Lovell. If the winner would like to get back in touch with TRF - The Red Wig has lost everyone's contact details, the tube - via the PO Box or the Privvy, he can claim his prize, for what it's worth. Ya lucky bastard.
	Monday 14th March It's here at last folks! The TRF contribution to the official merchandising operations down at AFC - a sheepie T-shirt with attitude. Get down there and splash out now - they're only a tenner.... Because we're only sheep-shagging-bastards!!!!! You're in the Red Army now get the shirt!
	Get Voting!!!!!!! Forward this to every Aberdeen fan you know, and keep voting until you're sick to the back teeth of voting, and then vote some more. This is for the Dons this is!! You can enter once a day every day up until 26th May, and until then a weekly draw sees a random person win 10k every week. BUT, you have to enter that you support Aberdeen(even if you support someone else or don't like football just put Aberdeen anyway because we need it more than anyone else) and if we get more votes than anyone else Aberdeen get £250,000 to spend on a player, with fans getting to help Stewart Milne to decide what player we buy with the money. We're currently 3rd in the table, just behind Leeds and QPR. Now come on, go to www.coca-colafootball.co.uk And remember to forward this message to everyone you know - remember they don't have to like football, they just have to be clever enough to vote for Aberdeen. Come on You REDZZZZ!!!!!!
	TRF FANTASY CUP Congratulations to Rogers XI and 2 Jimmies, the last two standing in the TRF Fantasy Cup 2004/05. Rogers XI, having eliminated Red Final editor Merkie in the last 16, rocketed through with a 30-23 victory over Lambchop XI, largely thanks to Kevin McNaughton's tournament-record 14pt contribution against Livingston. Meanwhile 2 Jimmies saw off Mentor Reds 26-19, their extra Dons defender, Zander Diamond, and a penalty from deer-shagger Barry Wilson proving vital. The tension will have to mount for a while though - TRF fantasymeister The Red Wig has decreed that, in the interests of fairness, the final will be played on the day of the next old firm match, thus avoiding a 0-7 thrashing unfairly weighting the outcome.
	They begged us not to do it but we have gone ahead and done it anyhow. Yes - The Worst of The Red Final - a collection of low points in the ten year history of the creaking rag has been hastily thrown together and churned out in book form - just in time for Christmas.... It's an A4 sized, 104 page bodice buster folks. You can pick it up right now, for only a tenner post free from TRF at P.O. Box 368, Aboyne, Aberdeenshire AB34 5LZ (just send your address plus a cheque for £10 and we'll do the rest). Go on, disgust yourself!
	Don't worry folks, the scroll stops lengthening periodically because we transfer the older pearls of wisdom to an archive page - good eh?
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