WFMU's Beware of the Blog

The $4000 Dead Turkey Complaint

The FCC may have stopped fining stations for indecency, but they've never let up on another favorite area of enforcement: their rules against putting people on the air without their knowledge (the reason why all on-air phone calls start with "you're on the air").

Just in time to establish their pro-Turkey Thanksgiving stance, the FCC has fined a station in Montana $4,000 for putting a turkey-rights activist (not pictured at left) on the air without her permission. But this wasn't a morning zoo situation. The station (KZMN in Kalispell) was conducting a Thanksgiving food drive in November 2003, and they had hung a dead turkey (or a replica thereof) outside the station's studios. During a program which was soliciting pledges of food, a caller was put on the air with the host, Paul Gray. Gray dutifully told the caller that she was on the air, and she proceeded to complain about the dead turkey hanging outside KZMN's building. The trouble started when the first caller handed the phone to a co-worker, and Gray neglected to notify the caller's co-worker that she was also being broadcast. Gray told the caller's co-worker to "quit complaining, and listen to the station." She filed a complaint with the FCC, who originally fined KZMN $6,000, then lowered the fine to $4,000. Still no word on whether the turkey was real or rubber. via FMBQ

All media outlets, WFMU included, get their share of crackpots complaining about all sorts of things. Since I can't share the complaints that we receive, here is a voice-mail reeived by a TV station that had aired a program which dared to question the true nature of crop circles. MP3 for download via del.icio.us/tag/audio

Power Pop MP3s From The Yellow Pills Compilations

I'm sure I'm not the only WFMU DJ who'll be including the Numero Group's Yellow Pills: Prefill compilation on my 2005 top ten list. The two-disc set, put together by Yellow Pills fanzine scribe Jordan Oakes, is chock full of incredible and ultra-rare power pop singles from the late 70s and early 80s. This week, I was thrilled to discover that a friend of mine had accidentally tracked down the original Yellow Pills compilations--also curated by Mr. Oakes--which were released throughout the 90s by the now defunct Big Deal label.

Click the links below to listen to a sort of "Best Of Yellow Pills" collection, comprised of my 10 favorite tracks from the original four volumes in the series.

Devin Hill "Stars"
The Spongetones "Skinny"
Brian Stevens And The Flip "A Little Bird Told Me So"
The Nicoteens "You're Gonna Save Me"
Martin Luther Lennon "Nobody I Know"
Finns "Sky Vue"
Blow Pops "Pt. 1"
Wonderboy "Skidmarks"
David Grahame "I Love You Better"
The Nines "I Would Never"

Erotic Aerobics MP3s

I figured I would complete today's triumvirate of smut here on the FMU Blog by posting MP3s for my favorite exercise record, Erotic Aerobics. But don't get the wrong idea about this material- just because these tracks have titles like  Fan Dance or Pelvic Pleasures (mp3s), and contains lines like "Get down on all fours" and "Open your thighs wide," this ain't no collection of audio pornography. This is classy stuff! For one thing, our Aerobics Caller here is Pierre Raymonde, who is French or at least pretends to be. And French is classy, (or at least it was when this LP came out, in 1982). And Pierre's not exhorting over some cheap wikka-wikka-wikka porno music, he's using classical music! Need I say more? I will anyway. Rull yooor eeps.

Breathing Warm Ups  |  Body Manipulations  |  Kinky Chorus Kick and Flash  |

Turn And Tease Me  |  The Strippers Strut  |  Sensual Warmups  |  Pelvic Pleasures

Lover's Lunge  |  The Shameless Shake  |  Fan Dance

This Week in Sex: Trashbox

Pull up a chair and make yourself comfortable, because we've got a big sticky wad of smut for you this week. Make sure you grab a handywipe on your way out.

Plug and play. Momma's got a squeeze box, and it's the iBuzz plug-in that syncs up a vibrator to the beat of the music on your iPod. (Handywipe, please.) Wanna visit the Iorio International Accordion Museum? Me too. [via boingboing]

What not to wear:

• If anything will make you keep it in your pants, it's boxers with HIV on them. [via popgadget]
• You can wear teeny condoms, but you better not talk about it unless you are Enrique Iglesias. You know, you probably shouldn't talk about it either, Enrique.
• Backless panties: perfect for lady plumbers.
• Furry, heated wonder bra is supposed to reduce energy consumption, but it will never be made or worn, so never mind.
• Imagine how hot super-long socks are to people who think plain old regular socks are hot.
• Can't have too many novelty aprons, Dad. Now go carve some turkey.

YOU! You're The One! - McDonald's Memories

When I was younger I had quite a germ phobia. I was very paranoid about McDonald’s workers doing awful things to my Quarter Pounders. If I developed a cold I always blamed it on the McDonald’s I ate a few days prior, convinced that if it wasn’t a booger wiped upon my burger then someone must have sneezed on it.

I was already in the habit of checking for foreign matter hidden in my food before eating it and it came as no surprise to me when I found a great scraggly tuft of pubic hair between bun and burger, congealed with ketchup and diced onions. Disgusted, I did not eat McDonalds for quite a while.

Peggy Lee - McDonald's Theme Song (mp3)

April was the month that the carnival came to town. It was the best week of the year. It was the first breath of warm weather and the first opportunity to roam around, talk to girls and vandalize property with pentagrams and anarchy signs.

The carnival was held in the park across the street from McDonald’s. We made frequent trips there for hamburgers and vanilla shakes. Around this time, all of my friends liked to try to regurgitate on command…but I did it the best. In an attempt to be funny and impress a girl, I puked up the whole $2 I just spent on fries and a milkshake, spattering it on the parking lot in a frothy white mess. She wasn’t impressed.

Main Street Singers - McDonald's Theme Song (fries version) (mp3)

Poor Christmas

I have been poor most of my life. Not poor as in, “we have to cut back on the cleaning lady’s days,” but poor like being passed around from one relative to another to live, and wearing other kids’ used clothes, and going an entire north-Midwest winter with no winter coat because nobody noticed I didn’t have one. I don’t remember ever being hungry then, but I do remember being cold; I cried from the cold sometimes.

I worked hard in school so I could get a scholarship to college, because I knew that was the only way I’d ever get out. I got a full scholarship to a school in the Pacific Northwest. The winters were warmer there, so my lack of a winter coat didn’t matter so much. I arrived at college with my entire wardrobe: two sweaters, two pairs of jeans, underwear, socks, a pair of clogs, and a jacket. I don’t remember being cold there, but sometimes I was hungry. I stood in the cafeteria where the other kids emptied their trays and took the food they didn’t want. I remember when the price of a box of saltine crackers went up a nickel at the local store, because that meant I couldn’t afford them any more. Then my little sister came to live with me. One of the happiest days of my life was the day we qualified for foodstamps.

One year I started saving at the start of the school year, and by Christmas I had $6.00. I had three people I had to get gifts for, so I used the money to buy cheap little address books at a 99-cent store and some fabric scraps, and I covered the books with the fabric and decorated them and wrapped them in paper I drew myself. It wasn’t so bad, really. I think I have a naturally sunny nature that probably would have come out more if my life hadn’t been so hard when I was young, and that year I thought, “Well, at least I’ll never have a Christmas as poor as this one. Every Christmas from now on will be better than this.” But I was wrong. This year is worse.

Abernathy leaves the FCC

Commissioner Abernathy announced that she will be leaving the FCC (PDF) on Dec. 9, 2005. This represents yet another shift in the balance of power and opinion at the commission: earlier this month, the president renominated indecency hound Michael Copps (democrat) for another term, and filled the open republican seat (which was left when Kevin Martin moved up to replace Michael Powell as Chairman) with Deborah Tate, who has yet to demonstrate her positions on key issues.

Commissioners Abernathy and Adelstein (the commission's other democrat) have been keeping the indecency issue in check, favoring less regulation and fewer fines, while Martin and Copps have both expressed their lust to unleash hell-fire and damnation upon broadcasters who fail to bleep a curse word or cover a cartoon buttocks. Depending on who Bush Jr nominates for Abernathy's seat, we might see indecency return to the front pages soon.

Earlier this week, the Wall Street Journal printed an article (click here to read it) about why the indecency issue disappeared and who was responsible for the outcry in the first place. Jeff Jarvis of BuzzMachine has written a great article about Howard Stern, the FCC, and free speech (it appears in the Guardian), and also presents an expose debunking the "public outcry" over indecency.

Tony Blair versus The Sex Pistols

It's sort of refreshing to see an old King Crimson fan cast as The Antichrist. The gyrating Maggie Thatchers don't hurt either. Somehow I don't this is going to be as big as JibJab. Flash animation page. via Mr. and Mrs. Wheatley, Ltd.

(F:) Drive Video Vault

Rarely do my worlds collide with such hilarity as in this clip from grindcore band Dying Fetus.  To see the Blue's Clues "face" and other images from popular children's TV used in this fashion brings me great joy.  (Everyone knows that Death Metal vocals started with the Cookie Monster, anyway.)  Go on, play this video for your kids—with the given indecipherability of the lyrics, I'm sure no one's in danger, despite the title.  Here's more information about the band and the album, plus guitar tabs for the song.  [Dying Fetus - Kill Your Mother Rape Your Dog mpg]

Since there seems to be a Fall renaissance going on, it's timely to view these clips of the band in their salad days.  First, one of the earliest lineups performing "Psychomafia" and "Industrial Estate" (plus some interview footage), taken from the What's On? program in 1978.  Note the presence of original keyboardist (and Mark E. girlfriend) Una Baines.  The next clip is a raucous live performance of the song "Smile" from 1983, when the band was featured on the BBC's The Tube.  BBC Radio icon John Peel appears briefly in the intro; Peel waived his hosting fee, with the agreement that The Fall could perform on the show.  All this should make you ripe and ready for The Wonderful and Frightening World of Mark E. Smith, an outstanding 2005 BBC4 documentary that is so good, the lack of a subsequent DVD release would be criminal.  (RSM contributed)  [Fall clip 1] [Fall clip 2]

How cool were The Stranglers?  Look at Hugh Cornwell—you wish you were half as cool as he is in this Top of The Pops clip, where the band apes to their version of Burt Bachrach's "Walk On By."  Not the greatest lip syncher, but still way cool.  Start with a base stock of Roxy Music, add some Ray Manzarek keyboards, fold in four creative, decadent minds and stir, with lots of grit and sweat from the pub floor and voila! — one of my all-time favorite bands.  Why are The Stranglers not as heralded as some of their contemporaries from the UK punk explosion?  Was it Dave Greenfield's refusal to leave the prog era behind and cut his hair?  Perhaps they were too dark, too literary or too sexy for their own good.  The Stranglers still perform and record today, albeit without Hugh, who's busy with his solo projects, including two books and a touring/recording band.  [The Stranglers - Walk On By mpg]

They Called Her Mrs. Bowie

Don't worry, fabulous space-kittens, this isn't an R.I.P. post. Angie Bowie is alive and well, hanging out with pals like Xaviera Hollander and Mick Karn, and writing pocket books about bisexuality.

In fact, here's a cool interview with the lady with some great pictures. Better yet, you MUST see Angie in a leotard thong, with giant press-on nails and a *ahem* handsome escort in these incredible videos!

A Fatal Exception

Relax.  Relax.  Have a chicory.

MP3 by Jim

Amon Duul II TV performance

Teutonic titans in a rare 1971 clip performing on the Beat Club. The song "Eye-Shaking King" (48MB wmv file) comes from one of the group's most godlike records Yeti, and while female member Renate seems to be AWOL here, this is still an awesome performance. After graduating from the late 1960's Amon Duul I incarnation, the group evolved from an initial commune that performed extremely non-structured tribal bashing to a highly organized progressive rock ensemble that captured some of the greatest elements of free rock spirit that the era had to offer. Yeti, and their preceding record Phallus Dei (their first as Amon Duul II) are considered by many to be their peak moments, full of tranced out, multi-culti-influenced jams head to head with throttling and very heavy rock. Follow up 70's albums like Tanz Der Lemming, Carnival In Babylon, and Wolf City are also full of great moments. Dig the clip, it's actually the only time I've seen this one in a non-shortened mode.

"On a clear day you can see... um..."

The Association of International Glaucoma Societies presented an operatic hymn about glaucoma in June of 2005 at the Imperial Viennese Glaucoma Ball. Written and composed by Erik Greve and performed by the lovely soprano Melanie Greve (left, squint... oops, I mean click to enlarge). You can download an MP3 of the song here, or hear the song and read the lyrics at the AIGS home page here.

Virtual Drums N' (Kee) Bass

If you haven't been to the Audio Playground Synthesizer Museum lately, its founder Joseph Rivers has done some amazing work compiling virtual models of many vintage drum machines, everything from the Boss Dr. Rhythm R-55 to those crummy Mattel Synsonics drums of the 1970's. There's also a page with a ton of sampled Soundsheets (also known as Flexidiscs) from synthesizer and drum machine manufacturers (like Linn) and even more virtual keyboards, including the Rheem (probably better known for their water heaters) Kee bass keyboard, featuring switchable "Mellow/Fuzz" mode.

WFMU in the News: Mixed Bag

This week a myriad of current WFMU press clips:

WFMU Keeps All Us Weirdoes Tuned to the Same Wavelength  - Francis Joseph Smith reports on his experience recently volunteering at the 2005 Record Fair.  "A weirdo is someone who goes beyond the norm and operates entirely on their own frequency. Sometimes they happen to hear each other out there in the ether, but it takes a station like WFMU to bring them all together. Once you’ve got a bunch of weirdoes in one place, no one is really that weird anymore."  Nice!

Online Radio:  A Weird Wonderful World - Mary Coyne Wesling writes about her two favorite discoveries in the realm of online radio.  KUCI's "Lesbosmak", and WFMU's Seven Second Delay.

Alive and Rocking in Berlin:  An interview with Jason Forrest - Melanie Cohn speaks with Jason Forrest, formerly known as Donna Summer, host of Advanced D&D, about his musical endeavors, art, and life in New York vs life in Berlin. 

Country in the City -  Kurt Gottschalk writes for the Village Voice about the country music scene in New York City.  Radio Thrift Shop proprietress Laura Cantrell speaks up on the state of radio in relation to the development of this scene.

No Wave -  In their "guide to the best websites that play cool music", supermarket check-out aisle mag Entertainment Weekly gives WFMU the nod:    "WFMU is a "freeform" station, which means that the DJs pick the music without any programming oversight. Its programs are all over the map (folk-rock, dirty disco, and avant-retard are some of the colorful designators). Plus, the station's free podcast archive includes archival-quality history-of-music feeds dating back to 1896." 

61 Versions of Tico Tico

MP3s: 61 versions of Tico Tico below the jump

Maybe the reason I keep playing single-chord songs on my show lately is because at one time, I couldn't get enough of the song Tico Tico, the tune that packs in more notes per measure than a scat singer on Dexedrine. I stumbled onto my cassette cache of Tico Tico's the other day, and without someone nearby to slap some sense into me, I ripped all of them. Then I came to the station and proceeded to find even more versions. Then I stupidly searched online and.. and...and... just go below the jump for all 61 versions.

Tico Tico was written in 1917 by Zequinha de Abreu. The song's first title was actually Tico Tico no Farelo, and in the 40's it became Tico Tico no Fuba. The song was imported to the US by Disney via their animated piece of World War Two-era Happy Latinos propaganda, "Saludos Amigos," in which Donald Duck introduces the song. That version is below. Do I want more versions? No. Unless you have the Captain Beefheart version. I gave up my Tico Tico obsession on the air years ago because I quickly discovered it was a bottomless pit of wants, desires and notes. Lots of notes. Three hour's worth (note to Kenny G: don't do it!)

Next song to get this treatement, The Internationale. It has fewer notes.

Name Dropping

We know how to win friends and influence people, just check out the smattering of A-listers who have popped into the WFMU studios over the past few months (click links to listen to the performances in real audio):

The Posies (sweet pop melodies from Ken Stringfellow, Jonathan Auer, et al.)
Rob Sonic (hip-hop from the Def Jux label, ex-Sonic Sum)
The Hospitals (trashcan garage rock thrown in a blender)
Yura Yura Teikoku (catchy Japanese art-psych)
King Coleman (legendary mashed potato man)
Doug Gillard (can you say ex-Guided By Voices?)
Burmese (fuzzed-out noisy rock from SF)
Art of Flying (lovely off-kilter folk)
Paul Metzger (improv banjo, experimental folk)
Circle (crunchy space-core from Finland)
Art Brut (snotty 3-chord hooks from the UK)
Enablers (contemplative spoken word over dark harmonic rock)
Marissa Nadler (singer-songwriter on acoustic guitar, mysterious and minimal)
Magik Markers (no wave destructo)

Gertrude Stein MP3s

Gertrude Stein MP3s

A bunch of audio recordings by Gertrude Stein made during the years of 1934-1935. Selections include: "The Making of Americans: Parts 1 & 2", "Matisse", "A Valentine to Sherwood Anderson", "If I Told Him: A Completed Portrait of Picasso", "Portrait of Christian Bérard", "Madame Recamier: An Opera", "How She Bowed To Her Brother" and "Interview (1934)." via UbuWeb

Bush Girl Goes To War

With no end in sight to the war in Iraq, and the death toll rising with each passing day--over 2,000 American service members killed as of October 26th, not to mention at least 26,982 Iraqi civilians reported dead as of this posting--this Kate Bush video from 1980 seems especially timely. I wonder if Barbara and Jenna would look as good in uniform as Kate does?

Watch: Kate Bush "Army Dreamers" music video (mpg video, thanks to listener Matt).

While you're at it, check out a similar song by Joanna Newsom, a young harpist and singer-songwriter whose 2004 debut album might have been more indebted to Kate Bush than many of us were clever enough to notice. Don't let all the talk of whale bones throw you off, the song is really about the war in Iraq.

Listen: Joanna Newsom's "What We Have Known" from an archive of Irwin's show.

3 Videos: Subway Car Video, Ali Snubs Bush and Al Qaeda Cartoon Outtakes

Here's how to turn a subway car into a film projector, using only suction cups, mirrors and a laptop. The perpetrators in this case pulled it off in Berlin. Had they tried this stunt in New York, they'd be facing charges right now. Quicktime video for download via del.icio.us/tag/video

Last week, President Bush awarded a Presidential Medal of Freedom award to Muhammad Ali, calling The Greatest "a man of peace," and "the greatest of all time." Ali responded by making the internationally accepted "this guy's nuts" sign as Bush tied the ribbon around his neck. Windowsmedia video for download

The Family Guy started off a recent episode with a great idea - what would the outtakes from an Al Qaeda "death to infidels" video look like? Of course, it ends with Stewie kicking some Al Qaeda ass, which would never happen. If anything, Stewie would join up. Windowsmedia video for download (last two via theync.com)

The Kid From Brooklyn Speaks The Truth

The Kid From Brooklyn is neither a kid nor is he from Brooklyn. He's a poetically foul-mouthed ticket dealer from Jersey named Mike Caracciolo, but the ticket racket's never been the right place for him. As he likes to tell people, he really oughta be an actor.

The Kid may want to be an actor, but he's found the perfect medium, taping his own video rants and posting them on his Kid From Brooklyn site. He's been at it for a few years, but he's been on a real tear lately. Since his own servers are a little on the sluggish side, I've re-posted three of his latest video rants here (nsfw):

The Importance of Telling People to Go Fuck Themselves (wmv video file)

The Big Man On How To Stop Terrorism (wmv video file)

The Big Man Introduces Mona, (Mrs. Kid From Brooklyn) (wmv video file)

via metafilter