This Blog Is Full Of Crap

Important Stuff

• 2006 Dead Pool Rules are posted and the signup form is linked at the bottom of the rules page. You have until the ball drops in Times Square to sign up.
  
  
• Pajamas Media has launched. So has my Pajamas Media Discussion Board.
  
  
• Israellycool and The Jerusalem Post bring you this year's JIB Awards. Nominations are open until December 18th.

Friday December 16, 2005

The DaVinci Cold?

I was going to snap a few more pictures of the missiles and the cats, but the cats have all been scared off.

Not by the missiles. By me.

I've been machine-gun sneezing for the past hour. Time to take a Vitamin C tablet and hit the tub for a while.

By Laurence Simon at 20:38 | Permalink | Personal | 3 Comments (plum) | 0 Trackbacks

So, who in Congress is admitting they hate Israel and support Palestinian terrorism this time?

Congress votes to raise an eyebrow at the recent wins by Hamas in local Palestinian elections and their momentum going into the parliamentary elections in January: 397 to 17

So, want to know who the Hamas-lovers were? Let's take a look:

Neil Abercrombie
Earl Blumenauer
John Dingell (Islamic Republic of Dearborn)
Eddie Bernice Johnson
Carolyn Kilpatrick
Dennis Kucinich
Barbara Lee
Jim McDermott (Saddam's pal)
Cynthia McKinney (The Jews kicked her out of Congress for 2 years, you know)
Jim Moran (His 2004 opponent was right about him)
David Obey
Ron Paul the Isolationist
Nick Rahall the Isolationist
Pete Stark
Maxine Waters (President of the Fidel Castro Fan Club)
Diane Watson
Mel Watt

(If you're wondering why Joe Barton didn't vote, he was busy having a heart attack.)

By Laurence Simon at 15:37 | Permalink | Random | 4 Comments (Gunlord) | 0 Trackbacks

Kosher Buffalo

Charley and Carol of Israelisms asked if buffalo meat is Kosher.

According to this site, it can be.

You know, I keep telling myself that I'm going to hit Bubba's Buffalo Burger Shack along Westpark, and every time I find a new excuse to blow them off. Despite all the construction and destruction in the area, they're still there.

Bubba's is just five minutes walking distance from the exit of the infamous Tunnel Of Mud (I-610 and US-59). Next time I'm heading home without dinner plans already set, I'll turn right instead of left and grab myself a Bubba's Buffalo Burger, Kosher or not.

Technorati Tags: Bubba's Houston Burgers Buffalo
By Laurence Simon at 14:58 | Permalink | Houston | 2 Comments (LouMinatti) | 0 Trackbacks

Catspotting

I hadn't seen any of the cats on the catcams all day. Even the Galileo thermometer is just sitting there doing nothing, but just now a certain swirly-striped mutant made an appearance before washing up and wandering off...

Little does he know, it's only just a matter of time before the missiles begin to fly!

Okay okay... I've been lazy about snapping photos this week. Also, the cats have been in tuck-up-and-nap mode a lot recently now that it's getting colder outside.

My goal for tonight is a movie clip of the toy missiles firing. And I may move some drinking birds to the toycam shelf.

---

Friday Ark and Carnival of the Cats will have all of your kitty goodness this weekend.

By Laurence Simon at 13:31 | Permalink | Cats | 1 Comments (Sherrie) | 0 Trackbacks

My thought on John McCain

John McCain calling for making all torture illegal is like a rape victim calling for making all sex illegal, consentual or not.

By Laurence Simon at 12:59 | Permalink | Random | 3 Comments (Alan Kellogg) | 0 Trackbacks

Cabo's run

I've been going to Cabo's off and on for over ten years, I think. I thought I'd had everything on the menu, but they've added a few things here and there over the years.

I've never had the seafood enchiladas. I'm not an enchiladas kind of guy.

Tonight, I plan on having the seafood enchiladas and maybe a side order of calamari.

Why? Why the hell not?

By Laurence Simon at 12:56 | Permalink | Houston | 4 Comments (Hondo) | 0 Trackbacks

Let's ask the cats about renting Christmas trees

Who cares what I think about San Francisco renting potted Christmas trees to people and then picking them up for permanent planting? It's time for a new feature of TBIFOC called Ask The Cats!

What do you think about San Francisco renting potted Christmas trees to people and then picking them up for permanent planting?

Nardo: Can someone come pick this tree up off of my head RIGHT NOW?	Piper: I'm sure that by next year Netflix will be offering this service, but how exactly do you stuff a tree in a return envelope?
Frisky: Very clever, looking to other holidays for ideas. Because on St. Patrick's Day, you only rent the beer, you know.	Beezer: My stocking smells good. Do the trees smell good?
What does your cat think?

Thank you, kittycats.

Does your cat have an opinion on the subject? Then send the following to askthecats (at) isfullofcrap.com:

• A photo of the cat or cats in JPEG format (If you've already submitted the photo, it will be in my gallery archive and just let me know the URL of the thumbnail photo to use again)
• Their opinion, whether it pertains to the subject or not
• (optional) Your URL

And you'll see them up here with the rest of the kittycats!

Technorati Tags: San Francisco renting Christmas trees Cats
By Laurence Simon at 11:48 | Permalink | Ask The Cats | 5 Comments (Connecticut Yankee) | 0 Trackbacks

Hi, I'm Joe Isuzu...

Remember the old Joe Isuzu commercials?

"The Isuzu pickup truck is bulletproof!"

Well...

I guess he was lying after all.

By Laurence Simon at 11:02 | Permalink | Random | 0 Comments | 0 Trackbacks

About that ban on weapons displays, Mahmoud Abbas...

Let's see how that so-called ban on public weapons displays is going, Mahmoud...

I think that's just a cigarette lighter shaped like a gun. No harm here.

Obviously a fake. The Russians would never let their precious AK-47 be misused by such ruffians.

Did someone raid the props department of a Sci Fi B-movie? Okay, so they painted a trombone. Ooooh, I'm scared.

Fake babies? This is just too funny.

Where's the purple ink? OH RIGHT they don't bother that that stuff. Never mind.

"We're Sargeant Yasser's Martyred Hearts Club Band... we hope you have enjoyed the show... Sargeant Yasser's Martyred Hearts Club Band... sit back and let the Jew blood flow..."

Captain Caveman dyes his son green for St. Patrick's, right?

---

No wonder why Fatah got their asses kicked in the local elections. Abbas has proven time and time again his word means nothing, whether it's "upholding lawlessness" or acting on the first requirement of the Roadmap.

So, when Hamas takes over the Palestinian Authority, can we stop writing them checks? Or will the green flag flying at the United Nations be bought and paid for with our tax dollars?

By Laurence Simon at 10:49 | Permalink | Zionist | 1 Comments (Kim Hartveld) | 0 Trackbacks

Fighting fire by burning down the house

I'm temporarily turning off Trackbacks for this site because of the large amount of Trackback Spam hitting the server.

A lot of the Trackbacks Spam appears to be the usual porn and crap, but others have been appearing in batches with no labels or content, making me wonder if they're a badly-configured spambot or just someone looking to drive the load up on the server to the point of going kaboom.

I should probably watch the MT Forums better than I currently do.

By Laurence Simon at 10:42 | Permalink | Blog | 4 Comments (Kevin Whited) | 0 Trackbacks

Let's ask Mohammed about polygamy

(Via Zionaussie Dave)

The 71-year-old Steinem was quoted by Observer writer Sheelah Kolhatkar as slagging off the 79-year-old, divorced Playboy founder: "He's such a jerk. He's so pathetic. ... Now's he's going around with four young women in their 20s instead of just one. It's sort of Moslem, actually."

Thank you, Mohammed. The number of stars on the cover of your Quran says how many times Yasser Arafat has slept with your kids.

If you have questions for Mohammed the Prophet, send them to askmohammed (at) isfullofcrap.com.

Oh, and just like Ask The Cats, Ask The Prophet has its own RSS feed now.

Technorati Tags: Mohammed Muhammed Playboy Gloria Steinem Hugh Hefner Islam Fatwah Quran Prophet
By Laurence Simon at 09:24 | Permalink | Ask The Prophet | 0 Comments | 0 Trackbacks

We're what?

John Lopez needs a little help, guys...

If after they step down from the City Hall steps today, local officials don't back up their words with the same support shown others, then we should consider this great day for Houston sports to be not much more than political grandstanding.

Look, we're worldly!

The phrase Lopez is looking for is "We're World Class!"

Technorati Tags: Houston Chronicle World Class
By Laurence Simon at 09:14 | Permalink | Houston | 2 Comments (Anne) | 0 Trackbacks

Hold the flag higher

Y'all know that I just adore the hypocritical Queers For Palestine crowd that willingly and knowingly supports the destruction of the only country in the Middle East that sticks up for homosexual rights so an Islamist regime known for torturing and murdering homosexuals can take its place.

Well...

Hold the flag higher, folks.

It makes it easier to aim.

By Laurence Simon at 09:08 | Permalink | Zionist | 0 Comments | 0 Trackbacks

The driver of the 3331 must have gotten the memo

The 9 bus arrived at the stop at precisely 06:50, which is the time listed on the schedule.

Most of the morning regulars weren't there, but if the bus had been early, I was prepared to give the driver my Full Delaying Routine:

• Drop bag outside the bus, go back for it.
• Search for wallet.
• Stick in invalid pass once or twice.
• Search for good pass.
• Stumble and fall once.

That usually eats up a minute.

If the driver is really early, I'll stand in the doorway and make him wait until it's time.

Sure, being exactly on time will make me about half a minute late for the 102, but one a good day I can sprint the two blocks and catch the 102 at the corner. Or I'll see it turn on Travis at the DTC and know I need to use the Light Rail Warp Zone.

Technorati Tags: METRO Houston bus
By Laurence Simon at 08:12 | Permalink | Houston | 0 Comments | 0 Trackbacks

Thursday December 15, 2005

Initial impressions of the Marks and Spencer missiles

The unit is a compact motorized platform that can turn about 270 degrees, angle down about 5 degrees, and angle up about 45 degrees.

It is powered by three AA batteries. I have yet to determine the battery life on the thing, but I've got lots and lots of rechargeable AA's.

Each dart is a lightweight foam missile that appears as harmless as a Nerf rocket, unless you angle up and the target is struck with the dart-gun like stick at the tail end of the rocket. Still, it's not as bad as a traditional suction-tip dart gun during The Golden Age Of Toys That Are Now Bad For You.

You push each rocket-dart into the springloaded recepticle, which can be tricky if you don't have them aligned just right.

You only get the three darts. No idea what you do if you need spares for whatever reason. (Call North Korea?)

There's a clumsy graphical interface with cheesy radar scope graphics and buttons for moving (left, right, up, down) and firing. It is not Internet based (yet).

The motor in the missile base makes just enough noise to make even the most oblivious cat somewhat curious...

"Um... I thought you were just working on USB
technologies for peaceful civilian purposes, Daddy..."

When you fire, the program (not the missiles) makes a WHOOSH-KABOOM noise. The rocket-darts go about three to four feet, maybe five or six when given a 45 degree angle trajectory.

Oh, and the readme file comes with a warning not to fire at eyes and pets and such.

Uh huh. Yeah. Right. Take all the fun out of it, Ingrid Newkirk.

Technorati Tags: USB Marks And Spencer Missiles
By Laurence Simon at 21:01 | Permalink | Random | 2 Comments (Laurence Simon) | 0 Trackbacks

Let's ask Mohammed about torture

Senator John McCain has been pestering his colleagues about reiterating prohibitions against the torture of prisoners to the point of finally getting the White House to approve the somewhat redundant measures.

But that's not enough for Senator McCain. He's taking the Straight Talk Express straight down to Hell to find out if the enemy in the global jihad is against torture as well...

Thank you, Mohammed. Because there's no worse torture than having to watch the Senate on CSPAN-2.

If you have questions for Mohammed the Prophet, send them to askmohammed (at) isfullofcrap.com.

Oh, and just like Ask The Cats, Ask The Prophet has its own RSS feed now.

Technorati Tags: Islam Allah Fatwah Quran Koran torture prisoners John McCain Mohammed Muhammed Prophet
By Laurence Simon at 19:27 | Permalink | Ask The Prophet | 3 Comments (Gunlord) | 0 Trackbacks

Refugees from San Jose

Local schools are in financial ruin because of Katrina evacuees and a broken promise by the Department of Education:

Karen Soehnge, the chief academic officer for the Houston school district, said the U.S. Department of Education had assured the district it would be reimbursed for 90 percent of the costs of educating refugees. So far, she said, the federal government has sent $165,000, less than one day's cost.

The district is spending about $190,000 a day on refugee children, an estimated $35 million for the school year for the approximately 6,000 children who have joined the district, she said.

And now we're getting some evacuees from San Diego Jose, too:

Houston will be home to a Major League Soccer franchise beginning in 2006, the league's commissioner announced during a news conference this afternoon.

The Earthquakes, who currently play in San Jose, Calif., will be relocated to Houston by team owner Anschutz Entertainment Group, MLS Commissioner Don Garber said today.

And where will they play?

Technorati Tags: Houston San Diego Earthquakes
By Laurence Simon at 18:06 | Permalink | Houston | 2 Comments (Laurence Simon) | 0 Trackbacks

Packages

There wasn't just one package waiting for me, but four.

No notices in the mailbox for any of them.

Gee, thanks, Apartment Leasing Office Skanks.

Let's see... a box with a Christmas gift from Mr. Hood... a box for my wife... a box with my missiles... and a box with two bottles of desert wine I wanted to have with Thanksgiving.

L.H. Puttgrass signing off and heading for the tub.

By Laurence Simon at 16:11 | Permalink | Personal | 6 Comments (B. Durbin) | 0 Trackbacks

Other catcams

Sometimes I get so obsessed with my own catcams that I forget to check out the other wonderful catcams out there.

I've got a brief directory of other ones on the sidebar of the catcam page. But after checking my referred stats, I saw that Pukunco the kittycat passed away in August.

Kittycam seems to have some kind of remote "turn on the lights" feature. I wonder how they do it. It's not in the FAQ.

If it's some sort of USB connection, maybe I can hook it up to the USB missile launcher I'm getting soon.

By Laurence Simon at 13:48 | Permalink | Cats | 5 Comments (DENISE) | 0 Trackbacks

That old cheap joke

Microsoft is warning about yet another security flaw in Windows.

It's called Windows.

By Laurence Simon at 12:20 | Permalink | Random | 1 Comments (Bob) | 1 Trackbacks
Multiple Mentality linked with The truth about security flaws

METRO's Christmas gift to me

After spending an extra hour out in the cold, thanks to METRO, I think I'm coming down with something.

I didn't find my wallet this morning, but while cleaning out my workbag I found an electronic thermometer in the camera bag.

99.5F, and my head's a bit swimmy. I'm starting to feel like crap.

Wonderful. Just fucking wonderful.

If I call in sick tomorrow, I'm still tempted to wake up and sneeze on the leadfoot 9 driver.

Tis the season to share, you know. Better to give than receive.

Thankfully, there's Vitamin C tablets in my bag. All sorts of useful little things.

I'm hoping to add an AM radio headset to the collection of useful things in the coming days. Maybe even a new workbag, since this thing's a little worse for wear.

By Laurence Simon at 12:11 | Permalink | Random | 6 Comments (Laurence Simon) | 0 Trackbacks

Helping or hindering terror

The Palestinian Authority says that its security forces prevented a carbombing.

Further reports are revealing that the Palestinian Authority security forces were actually trying to assist in the carbombing, but somehow the mission got screwed up and they tried to cover their tracks by making it look like they found the carbomb and prevented its use.

What do you think happened?

By Laurence Simon at 11:30 | Permalink | Zionist | 0 Comments | 0 Trackbacks

Rooting for them to live

One of the odd things I like about the Dead Pool is that when December rolls around, some people switch from rooting for their picks to die to rooting for their picks to live.

After all, if they die in 2005 and don't move you up the rankings, might as well hope for them to slide into 2006 as easy pickings. Or at least opportunities for the new slate of bonus prizes, right?

Anyway, Deadly December rolls on, and you've got until the ball drops in Times Square to make your roster selections.

By Laurence Simon at 11:08 | Permalink | Blog | 2 Comments (Laurence Simon) | 0 Trackbacks

Let's ask the cats about suing for custody

(Via Fark)

Who cares what I think about a cat owner suing to get their "rescued" cat back? It's time for a new feature of TBIFOC called Ask The Cats!

A legal catfight over a lost kitty has turned into a real claws célèbre.

And by next month, a jury is expected to be sorting out a custody dispute over a runaway cat at a trial in Manhattan Supreme Court.

Chavisa Woods is suing for the return of her beloved Russian Blue cat, Oliver, who was adopted by another woman after he tiptoed out of Woods' lower East Side apartment in 2004 and wound up in the hands of an animal-rescue group.

"Chavisa is prepared to go to trial on this. She wants her pet back," said Woods' lawyer, Donald David. "Chavisa lived with Oliver for four years," bringing the cat from Missouri to New York in 2003.

"This woman had him for a week and refused to give him back," David added.

Woods, 22, sued KittyKind, an animal rescue group, for refusing to give her the name of the woman who adopted Oliver after he was rescued from the streets.

KittyKind eventually contacted the adopter, an attorney, but she refused to give the cat back, saying she had bonded with Oliver - who was renamed Gatsby, according to court papers.

What do you think about a cat owner suing to get their "rescued" cat back?

Nardo: My tail tastes funny.	Piper: *yawn* I think Solomon's law should apply here. Threaten to cut the lawyers in half.
Frisky: While they're at it, can I get a restraining order against Nardo?	Boo: You'd do it for your child, right? Why would you do any less for me? It's not like you have to tell ME to take a bath, right?
Phoebe: I'm a bad girl just cause I love to tear up toilet paper. Girls just wanna have fun! Maybe that nice lady lawyer in New York would "rescue" me.	What does your cat think?

Thank you, kittycats.

Does your cat have an opinion on the subject? Then send the following to askthecats (at) isfullofcrap.com:

• A photo of the cat or cats in JPEG format (If you've already submitted the photo, it will be in my gallery archive and just let me know the URL of the thumbnail photo to use again)
• Their opinion, whether it pertains to the subject or not
• (optional) Your URL

And you'll see them up here with the rest of the kittycats!

By Laurence Simon at 10:13 | Permalink | Ask The Cats | 4 Comments (triticale) | 0 Trackbacks

Liars

Guy writes to say he can't submit a trouble ticket. Having problems with the system.

I reply back asking what error he gets.

He replies that he doesn't have the URL for it. Not a clue as to where the trouble ticket system is.

It's on our company's main page. Company name and dot-net. Right at the top, no less. And the new branding we're using for the trouble ticket system is just the name of the system plus a dot-net.

It's like people saying that the toilet's stopped up, only to reveal that they have no idea where the bathroom is.

By Laurence Simon at 09:56 | Permalink | Work | 0 Comments | 0 Trackbacks