You come in from a 3 hour firefight to sit in a chow hall as nice and clean as anything at home. The place belongs to a Forward Operating Base (FOB) of brass, mostly colonels, generals, and their assistants. You walk in covered in the aftermath of battle hoping the chow is as good as what you heard and only caring about that cheesecake you hope they have. You walk the gauntlet of “soft” MOSs who gawk and whisper about your appearance. Everyone is dirty, some of it isn’t dirt and the blood on you isn’t always American. You’ve finally got some coffee and you get comfortable; you choose the TV with CNN tuned in and the usual story comes over...controlled blast in Baghdad. For those who don’t know a controlled blast is when EOD blows a dangerous explosive in place.
We all noticed that the stories on every network always missed the mark. When they talked to a soldier it was usually someone who was in a convoy or some non-combat company like transportation or the support hospital. The combat arms companies were represented by mindless video of Marines in Fallujah with little to no first-hand stories. Even the much touted Frontline story A Company of Soldiers showed a civil affairs unit leaving the wire at night with no night vision equipment and rambling around when they should have been pulling security. They saw action in a reactionary way, IEDs, RPG fire, and roadblock-runners.
The embedded reporter in this war has been given unlimited access from inside a plastic bubble. They’ve been given access to all the things that the Army wants them to see. In the 7 months I spent in Iraq I actually saw one reporter that actually dealt directly with my unit. Now others came and went but when the action really started in Mosul it was one. Now Mosul is the new black.
I never told my family what was going on while I was there and they never watched the news just to avoid the emotional stress. Many of the facts that the media tries to put out are either sugar-coated or blown out of proportion for a politically expedient end.
This is what we see:
One of the strangest things to see is a fractured human body. If you have ever seen someone with broken bone it evokes this morbid fascination to stare without feelings of guilt. What else is strange is how different it is from anything Hollywood portrays. There's not as much blood as you would think, when you find body parts they look exactly the way they do on the body, and people never die with their eyes closed.
I went to the sight of a car bombing once that wounded or killed almost 50 and found a pile of human intestines just sitting in the road in the intersection, just laying there. Every car had been painted with the blood of its former occupant. It doesn't traumatize you but you can't help but stare or sometimes even touch. The scene was what you think of when you think of war, real war. You always wonder if you can handle it psychologically and you're scared you might not perform as you hope. When the time comes you do, and that's when you realize that war does not affect everyone the way you hear. Every movie you ever watch tells you that Vet's are all basket cases from what they've seen. I have fired and been fired at and found it to be the most exciting thing I have ever experienced. You don't think about the what-if's, "What if I had been closer or farther", or "Man, that could have been me". If it wasn't you it wasn't you, drive on.
Watching guys ducking under fire is one of the funniest things you see here. Believe me, the wounds I have treated, no amount of ducking will save you. As fast as it happens ducking just gets you to the ground quicker. Man 's inhumanity to man is something we don't think about, he just tried to kill someone or set off a car bomb that killed no soldiers but 10 children, some men deserve inhumanity. No matter what you hear in the media there are scumbags here that don't care how many of their own people they kill as long as 1 American is wounded.
People are so dramatic for the most minor non-event. They all want the pity lay when they get home and start telling the "What I went through" stories. We all volunteered, I've found that's the main difference between this and all other wars. The only exception might be WW II where most Americans felt a duty to answer the call to conscription. You lose the right to bitch when you say "I'll do it" and smash your hand with hammer.
Sometimes I feel that in 20 years it will all hit me and my wife will find me in a corner singing Mary had a Little Lamb while sucking my thumb. Right now though the only way to survive is do your job, get home, and deal with what comes later.
Everyone wants to go play war until the shooting starts. I know what you're thinking "I don't want to get shot at either," fine then don't join the military. In this country though the volunteers are looking for a paycheck and status. After years of repression and being nobody's they have the chance to help themselves and their families. Seeing Americans fight is cool to them. Sexy gear, good weapons and tactics and we taught them how to do it and use it, BUT. Now that they are receiving fire because we are around they don't want us around.
The local military now referred to as the Iraqi National Guard wants to conduct patrols on their own since every time we show up insurgents fire at them. It's hard enough to get them to go out when we show imagine the vacation they will be on without U.S. troops egging them on.
The message this infant military is sending is that when the shooting starts they hide. One of the first rules in an ambush is to charge the ambush. Some always die but at least most will live. The only exception are the Iraqi troops trained by Special Forces. They have a confidence and ability none in this country's military can match. Unfortunately a small percentage of their troops are S.F. trained. When we had a police station overrun on the 24 June the Iraqi Police ran from their post due to, apparently, overwhelming numbers. When the ING arrived to help us they were Professionals to the Nth degree.
In the U.S. and here in Iraq what must be explained to all potential soldiers is that, now this is a stretch mind you, YOU MAY GET SHOT AT IN THIS JOB. The blame is not always on the soldier. There is an old saying that goes "Let no soldiers soul cry, 'Had I only been trained' ". The promise of travel, prestige, and pay must be tempered with the reality of war. The world military's are not places of social experimentation or easy employment, or even college money. I am going to shock you now but...WE MAKE WAR, sorry. The reward for defending your nation is pay and the like but that is our first order of business no matter what the recruiting posters say. That G.I. Bill you came in for is a fine reason for enlistment but understand it may very well get you killed.
So in America as Iraq the Armed Forces and its recruits must be made to understand that we defend our nations and for doing so we give you pay, prestige, and college money.
Just remember that YOU WILL BE SHOT AT.
There is a certain hierarchy in the Military even though most don't want you to know about it. Combat arms is at the top, all combat arms. Infantry, engineers, SEAL's, SF, armor and generally those who launch bullets for a living are combat arms. EVERYONE else is a POGue, People Other than Grunts. Don't try to be cute and be like cops that changed Pig to Pride, Integrity, and Guts and say Personnel Of Garrison you are POGues. The reason I say this is that I saw the Time magazine cover for Person of the Year on my buddies wall and not only were the three on the cover POGues the one in the front was a woman. Now before you have an aneurysm listen, women in the Army is not the issue, the issue is that the members of that little group are NOT the ones who are winning the war. The ones winning this fight are the ground pounders. Most POGues never leave the wire and when they do they are the targets the insurgents are going after because they are "soft targets". Meaning that they are not trained as fighters and are most likely going to scramble after being hit.
Now don't get me wrong, I like having my Stryker fixed, my chow warm, and the A/C working and these guys have more stones than the civilian who is protesting only because he's scared to come over regardless of his feigning morality. BUT wars are won by the rifleman. In this man's army you are infantry or infantry support. Even D-boys do their mission in support of our operations (Delta definitely NOT POGues).
I tire of the media saying "You're all heroes, we love you (slurp slurp)". Stop pandering we already watch your damn show. The so-called "soft M.O.S.'s" support us to win the war. As a medic now I really get the ass when I see doctors, nurses, and medics in the CSH (combat support hospital) wearing the Combat Medical Badge when they have never seen the outside of the wire from day one. This is an award for medics who are on the line with the grunts. As an ex-grunt I have nothing but the utmost respect for those baptized by fire. So a frivolous award of something meant to honor those of us who get paid to attract bullets gets me going.
POLITICO-PHILOSOPHICAL NOTE:
This is part of society's egalitarian notion of equality and equal viability. Not everyone contributes to society at the same level. That's why there isn't a "Piece-of-Shit-Crack-dealing-Murderer of the Year" award. If you want the rewards you need to perform to the rewards standards. You are a soldier, isn't that enough. Why must you fight to cheapen the struggle of others so you can get kudos for an award you didn't deserve. Tankers have been fighting since World War II for a combat tanker badge and still haven't received one because the infantry is in the most danger on the battlefield. Don't try to justify your existence by lowering my bar to raise yours. How about just coming up to my level. If you're not willing then be content with what you have. Everyone wants to do the sexy war-guy stuff but no one wants to get dirty.
The country is rich in history so it gives you a respect for what you see, and a sadness. It's in ruin from years of neglect. It's filthy and the smell of human waste is everywhere. Usually you hear gunfire and explosions about 5-10 times a day. The feeling of not coming home never enters your mind, but is always there. The people are nice and friendly but untrustworthy at the same time. Every Kurd you run into introduces himself as such and thanks you for ridding them of Saddam. You quickly learn to hate the American media. Luckily the children have no idea how poor they really are. Dead bodies are not as wierd as they once were. You get Smokes at $.50 a pack. Yes they drink, smoke, and have dozens of porn theaters here. All the children wave and smile, some ask for money. The spirit-crushing 120 degree heat is everywhere even in air-conditioned rooms. Sometimes you feel like you're baking in your clothes. You wear about 70 lbs of gear in this heat and on top of it a weapon. The first time you lock-and-load your weapon and don't get nervous you get scared, you have just become complacent. When your vehicle gets hit by an RPG you have to take a second to realize what happened. Explosions are louder and sound different than in the movies. No matter how far away it is it sounds like it's on top of you, and when it's on top of you you're first impression is shock that you are ok. You'd be surprised what you can sleep through. You'd be surprised what you find funny now and what really pisses you off. You now know how trivial every complaint you ever had is. You know how much you really like or dislike certain people, and how much you love others. Mostly you find out what your made of and many are made of shit. You love America but have contempt for those still there partying and acting like assholes. Shooting at a man is not as hard or traumatic as people make it out to be in movies but you have to train yourself to want to go home alive. You hate your enemy, he is a killer of his own people and has no remorse because "God" told him to do it. You fill your heart with hate so you can kill him and come home to your family, and hope his death will save a family here.
Now you self-righteous civilians who are giving the "I know" and the "You see" or the "What did you expect" speech right now shut up. You don't fucking know and until you man-up and come over here you never will.
Mostly you look at it as a really cool job that every guy who sees a movie thinks he can do but doesn't. You are now a part of history, you want to go home but are proud you were here.
So many things happen that all my time in the military I've wanted to be a part of. Now that I have done them I found out why so many vet's don't talk about their experiences. Mostly it's because they are bored of telling the same story over and over again. People ask me about it and I say I don’t want to talk about it. Their first reaction is that I suffer from PTSD.
Tracer fire is so common that you watch it at night like a fireworks display, you only worry when you hear it and don't see it. That means it's moving horizontally. Car bombs shake the building you're in no matter how far away they are. If you hear it you feel it. You only hang around outside your door for 2 minutes to see if you get called out, if not you go back to your bootleg movie. Mortar rounds go off all day long. Usually two or three at a time and maybe twice a day on a good day. You can tell if you're in danger by the sound. If it whizzes you're good because it's moving laterally; when it's quiet after you hear it leave the tube you get wary but you don't go running off for the bunkers until it hits and then you usually wait for the third one. That means he's walking them in. They mostly miss. It's fun watching the new guys show up, they still think it's a war movie. When someone runs or ducks for cover you will more than likely make fun of him. Here's why, if you hear the explosion you're fine. No matter how fast you move the schrapnel moves faster. Also explosions aren't like, say, a fire; once it blows it's done it doesn’t continue to move. Bullets are the same way unless you're getting sprayed then ducking may not be so bad but most of the time you hear when that's happening.
I was on the internet one day and an explosion went off north of the FOB and not one person in the room stopped typing. We all just looked up to see if the flash was close enough to worry about, it wasn't. Hearing about car bombings where civilians are killed gets tedious since we can't do anything about it until we find who did it and raid their house. The word complacent needs to be changed to comfortable. Most guys still have the training and skill they just know when to switch it on and off. Fire fights aren't as chaotic and dramatic as you see in the movies. Guys don’t run around yelling and panicking. If you really acted like that you would probably get yourself or someone else killed. That is the time to be most professional and level headed, that's when you count on your training, your equipment, and your guys. When it's over you ooh and aah and go into your room to reflect but not when it's happening. No one ever yells medic unless he's seen Platoon one to many times. We use radio's.
Oh and by the way, there are atheists in combat. Me, and yes I have been shot at A LOT.
Too many people have been complaining about the situation here without realizing that all of us are volunteers in this war. Stop loss is nothing more than your inactive reserve commitment being fulfilled. When John Kerry talks about the back door draft of the National Guard and stop lossed soldiers he fails to realize that this is not the same military as Vietnam. We are all here of our own accord and were advised of the commitment requirements. All soldiers have to give a total of 8 years in a combination of active duty and reserve time. That reserve time can be inactive or active reserve, or National Guard. Where does this lie of soldiers being "involuntarily" extended come from. The fact is that most of the soldiers complaining aren't up to par with the game anyway. Many of the ones [complaining] I personally know are not the kind of guy you want around you in combat but the fact is that they are trained for this job and are needed now. Doesn’t change the fact that we all think it’s unfair.
I have noticed some things in the media, including film and television, that give all soldiers a bad face as cowards. According to every war film you see the "sensitive soldier" is hurt by what he has seen in war and those who have not been affected by it are war-mongering lunatics unfit to walk in decent society. The fact is that 90% of soldiers in this new military are willing volunteers that see the combat role they play as important and to some point heroic. Not everyman will cry and wake up in cold sweats for 50 years until he has wrestled the demons from his psychological battlefield. Just look back at WWII vets; they saw their role as a duty as Americans. Many were affected by what they experienced but carried on with their lives knowing they must. Battle fatigue is a real issue but what the media has shown you is a distorted and almost cowardly view of the soldier. I have looked through my sights and sent bullets towards another man. I also realize that that man has killed others and will kill me if given the chance.
This seems to me that it comes down to the cowardly nature of the left and the empowering of the coward. Showing every soldier as having a significant emotional event when exposed to battle gives them the easy way out. When they are in a similar situation they can say hey look that's a normal response, it's not. When you have a case of battle stress it is a legitimate problem and must be addressed for the soldier's and the Army's health. The issue is not that but true cowardice, and that is what I have seen in almost every case of soldiers either complaining about the war or suffering from "battle stress" in this conflict.
When you have a serious mental condition that leads to a mental health evaluation or a real case of battle stress I, as Doc, have nothing but sympathy. But if you are one of the people that the press and films have been pushing as normal or common I wish nothing but death on you because you volunteered and you're letting your brothers down. One may die one day because you couldn't "man-up."
If this isn't your game and you wish a peaceful, rested life, I applaud you because that's what I fight for. Not everyone is cut out for this life and that's what makes us and you special. But don't try to get the world to believe that cowardice is common just because you can't do this job and don't understand why we do it. Please stop speaking for us, we'll do just fine without your false sympathy.
Men that have been shot, whether alive or dead, go limp instantly. Like pulling the cord out of the wall while using the vacuum. Hajji must have two thimbles of blood in him because he goes pale at the mention of bleeding. Looking at a man before shooting at him is the most exciting thing I have experienced while at the same time feeling stranger than anything I have ever done. People would serve me tea out of their front door as I pulled security on a corner next to their house. They always tasted it first as if I was Caesar or something. Children will flip you off then wave to you and smile obviously not knowing what it means. It was taught to them by other units. I'm sure the guys did it and the kids saw it as a greeting. Children draw you pictures of Americans smiling and fighting for them. Raiding someone's house and searching it makes you feel guilty while you destroy their possessions; then you find the stash of RPG's and $10,000. Fresh pomegranate juice is really good. Kurds are a real nationality, Palestinians are not. Just like Kuwaiti's. You are a part of history but since it is the present you don't fully appreciate it.
Outside of the war zone (yes, you Kuwait and Camp Victory) they think they're in the theater but they aren't. They play silly ass games, drills, exercises for readiness and play soldier. The "soft MOS's" like the moniker war hero but really they are as safe as most of you back home. Sergeant Majors who have nothing to do but ask soldiers what side of an NCO you should walk on and why the boonie hat is not the uniform. Combat awards should involve gunfire being leveled at you and not just around you. Just because you can hear it doesn't mean you're in danger. Civilians shouldn't be here outside the wire. We saved their asses one to many times. Burger King should be for the Joe's in combat not in a small military city in Baghdad or Kuwait. Internet should always be free and chow needs to be open 24 hours a day since some of us have a combat schedule and not bankers hours.
Other than that everything's fine.
