hitcount.
[Links on this page will return you to the current version of the site.]
The nerd test

A scientific breakthrough! Thanks to certain, newfound processes of complex chemical and psychological analysis, a means has at last been established to isolate and quantify the 'nerd content' of one's blood. Looking for proof of your nerdy savoir-faire? Assurance that you're mitichlorian-free, and really do still have a chance with the opposite sex? All you have to do is take this simple test.

Directions: Choose the right answers. Or the wrong ones, if you want. The last answer option is always wrong. Choose that if you don't care to guess on stuff you don't know.

Please don't take this seriously.





1. The shards of...

Anduril
Narsil
Sting
Glamdring
Spanky



2. Who is NOT a member of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen?

Mina Murray (Harker)
Alan Quatermain
Jekyll & Hyde
Sherlock Holmes
The Invisible Man
Captain Nemo
You know, I'm a pretty extraordinary gentleman myself...



3. CMOS stands for:

Cerebral Muscle-Operation Synapse
Complementary Metal-Oxide Semiconductor
Computer Memory Output System
Chinese Mother Obsessiveness Syndrome



4. Green-skinned love slaves come from the planet:

Betazed
Coruscant
Betelgeuse
Dagobah
Orion
Hollywood



5. I've just started up a game of CounterStrike 1.5. I'm on CT, the map is de_dust2. In the buy menu I hit 1-3. The weapon im buying is a(n):

Pump shotgun
AK
Deagle
Flashbang
n00b cannon
Spaceballs: the Flamethrower



6. You want to overclock your Athlon XP 3200+ up to 2.5 ghz. Given that a the default 3200 runs at 2.2 Ghz by default (11.0 clock multiplier, 200mhz FSB), which multiplier / FSB combination would most likely work the best?

12.0, 209 mhz
11.5, 233 mhz
15.0, 186 mhz
9.5, 271 mhz
25.0, 100 mhz
I...ummm....Athlon, is that some sort of race?



7. The Zeroth Law of Robotics states that:

A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction allow a human being to come to harm.
No robot may harm humanity or, through inaction, allow humanity to come to harm.
A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
A robot must communicate via a series beeps and bloops, as long as such action does not conflict with the First or Second Law.



8. 40,000 years from now these are all Temples of the Imperial Officio Assassinorum, except for...

Vindicare
Callidus
Culexus
Beil-Tan
Eversor
Come on, fhqwhgads!



9. "I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis!"

Marvin the Paranoid Android
Arthur Dent
Zaphod Beeblebrox
Ford Prefect
Max Guevara
Christina Aguilera



10. I am Rygel the 16th, ________ of Hyneria.

Dominar
Dictator
Praetor
Magister
Dark Lord
Exile
Oh I thought it said hernia



11. Twinkle is to Drizzt as:

Sting is to Sam
Starlight is to Drizzle
Needle is to Arya
Orcrist is to Gandalf
Aegis-Fang is to Bruenor
Ash is to chainsaw
This test is to ludicrously difficult



12. ...Live long and prosper.

Strength and great fortitude...
Peace and good health...
Strength and honor...
Peace and long life...
Life, Liberty, and pursuit of happiness...
Ergo, vis-a-vis, concordantly...



13. Which does not belong?

Swallow
Flamingo
Lumberjack
Parrot
Rabbit
That's discrimination, they should all belong equally



14. As you are travelling through space, your sensors detect a strange, black monolith floating nearby. Without looking, you know that it has the proportions:

1 by 2 by 4
1 by 4 by 9
3 by 4 by 5
5 by 11 by 12
1 by 10 by 100
W by T by F



15. "One Ring to find them"

Ash nazg gimbatul
Agh butzum-ishi krimpatul
Ash nazg durbatuluk
Ash nazg thrakatuluk
Lilie n'vanima ar' lle atara lanneina
Iway avehay onay ideaway



16. Who has never been considered a prophet?

Medivh
Masema Dagar
Muad'dib
Mithrandir
Madonna...oh but this is just the 'I don't know' answer



17. Which cheat code is not paired with its game?

AllYourBaseAreBelongToUs - Warcraft 3
idkfa - Doom
Operation CWAL - Starcraft
Power Overwhelming - Diablo 2
Tax Evasion - IRS



18. List these Sith Lords in chronological order of their birth: Darth Sidious, Exar Kun, Darth Malak, and Kyp Durron.

Kun, Durron, Malak, Sidious
Kun, Malak, Sidious, Durron
Malak, Sidious, Kun, Durron
Durron, Malak, Kun, Sidious
Malak, Durron, Sidious, Kun
Lincoln, Roosevelt, Clinton, Bush



19. Which does not belong?

Badger
Snake
Weasel
Mushroom
Stop the discriminating already



20. Klaatu Verata...

Nictar
Nictul
Nictim
Nicto
Mom



21. Who is NOT a Ghostbuster?

Dr. Egon Spengler
Dr. Hawley Griffin
Dr. Raymond Stantz
Dr. Peter Venkman
Dr. Phil?





22. Why, Mr. Anderson? Why do you do it? Why get up? Why keep fighting? Do you believe you're fighting for something? For more than your survival? Can you tell me what it is? Do you even know? Is it freedom? Or truth? Perhaps peace? Yes? No? Could it be for love? Illusions, Mr. Anderson. Vagaries of perception. The temporary abstracts of a feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify an existence that is without meaning or purpose. And all of them as artificial as the Matrix itself; although only a human mind could invent something as insipid as love. You must be able to see it, Mr. Anderson. You must know it by now. You can't win. It's pointless to keep fighting. Why, Mr. Anderson? Why? Why do you persist?

Because I can.
Because I have to.
Because I choose to.
Because it is inevitable.
Because we must have the prreciouss



23. What color kryptonite can permanently rob Superman of his super powers?

Gold
Green
Red
Aquamarine
Chartreuse
Maroon
Peach
Oh man....what If Supes was colorblind how would he know??



24. Who was not one of the Istari?

Pallando
Cirdan
Alatar
Radagast
Come again?



25. Which character is not paired with their ship?

Captain Sulu, Excelsior
Captain Pellaeon, Chimaera
Lone Starr, Winnebago
Talon Karrde, Lady Luck
Captain Piett, Executor
Captain Barbossa, Black Pearl
Morpheus, Nebuchadnezzar
I had a ship once...I played with it in my bathtub...



26. In a game of 2nd edition AD&D;, my fighter has a THAC0 of 14. To hit an orc with an AC of 6, I must roll at least a(n):

4
5
7
8
10
12
I refuse to answer as Dungeons and Dragons is satanic and thus this is against my religious principles.



27. "Success"

Mae Govannen
Bat'leth
Qa'pla
Namarie
Avast
What about it?



28. "Well met"

Mae Govannen
Bat'leth
Qa'pla
Namarie
Avast
Nice to meet you, too



29. In 2029, John Connor leads a valiant resistance against computer nemesis:

Skynet
Icarus
Shodan
Arpanet
Telnet
pr0nnet



30. The answer to life, the universe, and everything...in binary:

101110
101011
011010
101010
3.14159



31. Spiderman's Mary Jane shares the same last name as:

The Tactical Officer of the Enterprise D
Sherlock Holmes' partner
The leader of Stargate SG-1
Robin Hood's archnemesis
Clark Kent's best high school friend
My father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate



32. In standard, 3rd edition Dungeons & Dragons, your 5th level ranger with a dexterity of 19 dons a suit of studded leather armor (AC 3, max dexterity bonus +5). Assuming he bears no other protection or enchantments, what is his total Armor Class?

4
6
17
18
7
22
Oh, I didn't know they offered classes about armor



33. In Sluggy Freelance, what is the magic word to turn Zoe into a Camel?

Stupid
Shupid
Shuul
Shumid
Qa'pla
Sluggy? Zoe? Camel? Pancakes??



34. Which pair of characters was not part of the crew of the Weatherlight, from Magic the Gathering:

Gerrard and Sisay
Squee and Tahngarth
Orim and Hanna
Urza and Mishra
TROGDOOOOR!!!!



35. In the original Phoenix for the TI-89, how much would it cost to buy two shield recharges, and weapon #2?

$300
$350
$200
$450
There's no place like home, there's no place like home...



36. Who is not a character of the Warcraft universe?

Alleria
Uther Lightbringer
Lothar
Turaylon
Ner'zhul
Danath
Duriel
Medivh
I'm happy with my own universe, thanks very much



37. In Wolfenstein 3D, you play as:

Blake Stone
B.J. Blazkowicz
John Anderton
Frank Poole
Carth Onasi
Korben Dallas
The Cheat, who is not dead



38. The Vault Dweller comes from Vault:

12
13
14
15
X-452
People dwelling in bank vaults...that's a new one.



39. This ship was built at the Utopia Planetia shipyards.

Millenium Falcon
Heart of Gold
Nebuchadnezzar
USS Enterprise NCC-1701 D
The Titanic



40. The most important resource of the planet Arrakis:

Lightsaber crystals
Trilithium crystals
Spice melange
Tribbles
Mithril
Soap. With enough soap, you could blow up just about anything.



41. If 42 is the Answer, then the Question is...

"What do you get when you multiply six by nine?"
"What do you get when you multiply nine by six?"
"What do you get when you multiply six by seven?"
"What is six times nine?"
"What is nine times six?"
"What is six times seven?"
"What is the average airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?"
"What is up with this test, you freak?"



42. In what base number system does the muliplication in the above answer (well, question) actually equal 42?

base 10
base 2
base 12
base 13
This is just ridiculously nerdy.



Party Poker Online offers a quick download for people interested in poker. Play Texas Holdem, Omaha, No Limit and more!






main | back to top | email me | message me (aim) | archives

All writings � 2004 Michael McCain unless otherwise noted.