Akira's Hentai Banzai Hentai!
Agga Ruter: Troublemaker (VHS)
You know, I've always harbored the idea that, if one of the big animation houses-- Toei Douga, Madhouse, Production I.G., or AIC, for instance-- put their minds to it, they could make some really fabulous porn. Ever wondered what it would be like if the cast of Tenchi Muyo! cast off their inhibitions and got it on with each other (assuming, of course, that Tenchi is actually straight)? Sure, we all have. Well, Agga Ruter is about as close as you're going to get.

Grade: A-
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Posted on: Wednesday January 22, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Spaceship Agga Ruter (DVD)
A couple of years after reviewing the first VHS volume, I take a look at the DVD-- and still like it a lot. Agga Ruter, while relatively tame, is well-animated, attractive, and funny as hell.

Grade: A
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Posted on: Sunday September 07, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Autumn Heat (VHS)
The problem with this sequel to Summer Heat is its protagonist, Masato. He's a selfish prick, and in a genre where the viewer relating to the male protagonist is important, this is a bad, bad thing. I recommend passing on this for something better.

Grade: C
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Posted on: Wednesday January 22, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Beast City (DVD)
I may have already reviewed the first VHS volume of Beast City, but now that the DVD is out, I have a convenient excuse to discuss the merits (or lack thereof) of the full series. I like the way Anime 18 tends to release entire series' on single DVDs, but frustratingly, Beast City fails to satisfy on a number of levels.

Grade: D
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Posted on: Tuesday January 21, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Beast City (VHS)
Beast City's story is almost embarrasingly generic-- it concerns the fact that the world is slowly being permeated by evil demons, who exist only to rape nubile young women. Fighting against these demons is a vampire(?!) named Mina, a cheerfully mean redhead who wears skimpy denim clothes and hacks her adverseries to bits with knives and long fingernails. All of this demonic sexual activity can be traced back to the Bad Guy, Karma.

Grade: D
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Posted on: Wednesday January 22, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Bible Black: Second Sacrament (DVD)
This sequel to the excellent Bible Black starts off poorly, but recovers quickly enough. It's not great entertainment by any means, but it features more of the same lengthy, graphic sex scenes that are the hallmark of the series.

Grade: B+
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Posted on: Thursday October 16, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Bible Black (DVD)
Bible Black's story may be abundantly silly, but it's notable for its sex scenes, which are numerous, lengthy, and meticulously detailed. Its story may be silly, but its surprisingly hot sex scenes make it definitely worth checking out.

Grade: A-
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Posted on: Tuesday April 29, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Bondage Mansion (DVD)
Bondage Mansion is at least interesting because it occupies a niche that isn't necessarily well-represented in anime. The piss-poor production values keep the show from really being worthwhile to own, but it's a perfectly good renter.

Grade: C
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Posted on: Tuesday January 21, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Buttobi CPU (DVD)
Buttobi CPU is one of those shows that just makes me love anime, because of the bizarre concept behind it. It poses an interesting dilemma: What would you do if you spent $1,000 on a new computer, brought the box home, and discovered that the box contained not a computer, but a beautiful, voloptuous naked girl?

Grade: B+
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Posted on: Tuesday January 21, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Campus (DVD)
Campus takes an unusually weird and convoluted time-twisting story and mixes it up with a bunch of rather generic sex scenes. Unfortunately, the bizarre plot details only muddy what is otherwise a pretty average tale of a boy searching for the right girl for him.

Grade: B-
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Posted on: Monday June 30, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Can Can Bunny Extra vol. 1 (VHS)
The anime and manga series Oh! My Goddess! is a staple among fandom-- the story of the shy but sweet geeky engineering student winning the heart of the beautiful, tender-hearted goddess of space and time is loved by boys and girls around the world. But what if Belldandy had visited a lecherous kook instead of Keiichi? Can Can Bunny Extra, that's what!

Grade: B-
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Posted on: Wednesday January 22, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Check Into Ogenki Clinic (VHS)
The best thing about Ogenki Clinic is its broad appeal. Unlike tentacle rape-fests, which almost by default tend to have exclusively-male audiences, Ogenki Clinic can easily be enjoyed by either sex, unless you're a complete prude, of course. But if that were the case, you wouldn't be reading this review.

Grade: B+
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Posted on: Thursday January 23, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Cool Devices vol. 1 (VHS)
You know, a large part of anime fandom has always crusaded against pornographic anime, right when Central Park Media announced they had licensed I Give My All for release in the 'states not too long after the start of the decade. Well, for that certain puritanical breed of fan had better just stay far away from Cool Devices, because it's so raunchy it'll make heads explode.

Grade: B
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Posted on: Thursday January 23, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Cool Devices vol. 2 (VHS)
Cool Devices is a series that prides itself on being extrmely raunchy-- and while the raunch is present here, the animation and story quality both take hits. If you've gotta have your smut, proceed with caution on this one.

Grade: C
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Posted on: Thursday January 23, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Cool Devices vol. 3 (VHS)
Do you really find the idea of having a quart of warm, soapy water pumped up your ass to be sexy, you sick bastard?! If so, then Cool Devices vol. 3 is just the thing for you. It has a weird, kitschy charm to it that almost, almost shoves the flimsy plot, subpar animation, and disturbing ideas into the background.

Grade: C+
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Posted on: Thursday January 23, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Dark (DVD)
Dark is 100% rape fantasy. It's fairly well animated and executed, but its outrageously unpleasant subject matter leaves me cold. Forced sex might be for some people, but it's definitely not for me, and neither is Dark.

Grade: C-
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Posted on: Friday May 02, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Dragon Pink (VHS)
A few amusing plays on video RPG cliches can't really save this video from utter mediocity, even with all three episodes on one tape. Dragon Pink is a piece of crap.

Grade: C-
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Posted on: Thursday January 23, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Dream Hazard / Pianist (DVD)
This title wouldn't be too bad, but there are horrible flaws with each story. The first story is badly-animated, with anatomically gross sex scenes. The second is simply boring. Dream Hazard/Pianist isn't total crap, but it's too close for comfort.

Grade: C-
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Posted on: Wednesday April 23, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

The Elven Bride (VHS)
The Elven Bride is whimsical and low-key, and manages to deliver a fairly good amount of sex and plot in its short running time. It's fun viewing, even for the non-pewter-dragon crowd.

Grade: B
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Posted on: Thursday January 23, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Endless Serenade (DVD)
Christ, this is terrible. There's so little appeal to Endless Serenade that it's not worth seeing-- it's more about the whining of the main character than actual sex. Bad, bad stuff.

Grade: F
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Posted on: Thursday August 21, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

F3: Frantic, Frustrated, & Female (DVD)
The premise of F3 is simple: Hiroe is attractive and has a nice body. She gets turned on, she enjoys sex, yet she just can't achieve Pure Chewing Satisfaction. No matter how hard she tries, as her sister Mayaka observes, Hiroe "just can't reach the big O." (SHOWTIME!!!)

Grade: C+
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Posted on: Tuesday January 21, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Fencer of Minerva: The Tempest (VHS)
Boy, I'll tell you, only anime could mix subjects like sexual slavery and medieval politics with any kind of success. Fencer of Minerva is a curiousity-- I'd particularly like to see the dub, which allegedly features Crispin Freeman's enviable voice as Sho-- but nothing more.

Grade: C
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Posted on: Saturday January 25, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Five Card (DVD)
Take badly-animated sex, trite character designs, a hilariously goofy bad guy, a stupid plot, and what do you get? A giant ball of shit! That just about sums up Five Card.

Grade: D
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Posted on: Friday August 01, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Flashback (DVD)
Flashback may have the advantage of nearly wall-to-wall sex scenes, but the story is distasteful and unsettling, and the animation is almost laughably crude. It's a shame, the character designs are kind of cute.

Grade: C-
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Posted on: Wednesday April 23, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Four Play (VHS)
Four Play is so far beyond anything resembling a coherent plot that it's hilarious. It concerns a pair of young men, Satoshi (a nerd) and Junichi (a jock). They visit an allegedly ill student, who actually turns out to be a ragin' nymphomaniac. How convenient for them!

Grade: C+
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Posted on: Saturday January 25, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Girl Next Door (DVD)
Girl Next Door is great. It has the sex scenes you'd expect from most hentai, along with an absolutely insane streak of comedy. It's worth seeing for both aspects. It's weird as hell and a lot of fun to watch.

Grade: A
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Posted on: Wednesday February 12, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

GLORIA (VHS)
Everything that I hate about hentai anime, with the exception of tentacles, is in GLORIA. Characters who look like they just walked off the set of Miami Vice (despite the show's 1995 copyright date), piss-poor animation, even during the sex scenes, and oh yeah, rape. It's hard to get involved with the main characters when you want to punch the crap out of at least one of them.

Grade: D
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Posted on: Saturday January 25, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

G-taste vols. 1-2 (DVD)
G-taste has a lot going for it-- it's all about women in uniform, which is an interesting angle, and it has some unusually bold and alluring character designs. In the end, however, ho-hum plots and surprisingly chaste all-female sex scenes keep it from really combusting. Heh heh. Com-bust-ing, get it? Heh heh.

Grade: C+
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Posted on: Tuesday June 24, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Homeroom Affairs (VHS)
One thing that is amusing about Homeroom Affairs is the reversal of the male/female role in a typical hentai anime-- instead of the guy quickly overcoming his inhibitions and pinning the ambiguously-willing girl down, the girl is chasing the wimpy, indecisive guy. But the show is only occasionally amusing, and only mildly titillating.

Grade: B-
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Posted on: Sunday January 26, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

I Love You (DVD)
Weird character designs and bad animation make this otherwise innocuous steamy romance into a steamy turd. A mediocre crapfest.

Grade: C-
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Posted on: Friday December 10, 2004 EST by Mike Toole

Imma Youjo vol. 1 (VHS)
Imma Youjo starts right in with a barbaric scene of men going mad, raping women and killing each other. A tall, gaunt man watches his wife die, and then beholds, off to the side, a red-haired girl just kind of observing things. She looks weary and pensive for a moment, and then walks off. Oooooooooooh.

Grade: C+
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Posted on: Thursday January 23, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Imma Youjo vol. 2 (VHS)
I was pleasantly surprised by most of this volume-- the story was genuinely entertaining, and the sex scenes were woven into the plot fairly seamlessly, instead of being there for the sake of being there. The animation and character designs look slightly better than the first volume, as well.

Grade: B-
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Posted on: Thursday January 23, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Karakuri Ninja Girl (DVD)
Karakuri Ninja Girl isn't incredibly exciting, but it's a very amusing bawdy comedy. The sex may not be explicit, but there are plenty of laughs to be had. Plus, ninjas can cut off heads anytime they want to!

Grade: B
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Posted on: Thursday August 21, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Kite (Domination Nakite) (DVD)
I'm glad that I saw the uncut version of Kite. I dislike editing on principle, and the inclusion of the smut gave the show a different (mostly seedier) feel that was missing from the American version. Umetsu succeeds in telling a lurid little morality play, though his penchant for violence is so overstated that it's almost cartoony at times.

Grade: B-
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Posted on: Tuesday January 21, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Koihime vols. 1-2 (DVD)
Koihime is a light, charming little sex comedy from NuTech! The story isn't monumental, but the good sex scenes and attractive character designs still make this one worth checking out.

Grade: B+
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Posted on: Tuesday November 26, 2002 EST by Mike Toole

La Blue Girl Returns: Demon Seed (DVD)
I have to admit, La Blue Girl Returns was a lot of fun to watch. Part of that is due to the show's weird, offbeat sense of humor-- unlike some pretentious crap, I never got the impression that La Blue Girl Returns was ever meant to be anything but nicely-presented smut.

Grade: B+
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Posted on: Monday January 20, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Love Doll vols. 1-2 (DVD)
Okay, this is bullshit.

Grade: D
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Posted on: Monday January 17, 2005 EST by Mike Toole

Lunatic Night (VHS)
Lunatic Night is a winner-- it's decent, unthreatening porn that also happens to be chock full of referential humor that plays on the likes of Gundam, Cyborg 009, and Space Battleship Yamato.

Grade: B+
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Posted on: Sunday January 26, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Magical Twilight (VHS)
Magical Twilight ends up being a worthwhile show-- despite the boring main character, the girls are fun and have actual personalities, the sex is all consensual, and the show managed to make me laugh a few times.

Grade: B
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Posted on: Sunday January 26, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

The Maiden Diaries (DVD)
The Maiden Diaries is an agreeable but rarely interesting story of a man forced to turn cute girls in impractical maid costumes into talented prostitutes by a business tycoon. The cute girls are nice to look at, but the numerous sex scenes are all strangely chaste, and the inscrutable secondary plot will only confuse viewers.

Grade: C+
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Posted on: Friday August 01, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Mama Mia (VHS)
If Mama Mia is the future of digital animation, we're fucking doomed.

Grade: F
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Posted on: Sunday January 26, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Marine a Go Go (DVD)
Ridiculously curvy characters punctuate this giggly, breezy Masami Obari-directed parody. There's lots of fucking and sucking going on, too, to the point where it gets kinda... boring.

Grade: B
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Posted on: Thursday April 14, 2005 EST by Mike Toole

Masquerade: Eternal Life (VHS)
For every classic of smutty animation, there's a piece of absolute shit on tape or DVD. I guess this explains Masquerade, which plays like the crappy side of the coin that has Agga Ruter on its flipside.

Grade: D
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Posted on: Sunday January 26, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Mei-King (DVD)
Mei-King purports to be like Record of Lodoss War only with sex. But there's not much high fantasy here, just lots and lots of silly, improbable sex and the vague underpinnings of a fantasy story. The sheer abundance of sex scenes is what makes it worth checking out.

Grade: B
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Posted on: Monday June 30, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Mezzo Forte (DVD)
Mezzo Forte is one of those rare hentai shows that actually has repeat value-- it entertains the whole way through, and you may want to see it over and over again. It's absolutely worth checking out.

Grade: A
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Posted on: Tuesday January 21, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Midnight Panther (VHS)
Midnight Panther is shit. The animation is shit, the storyline is shit, the music is shit... even the gratuitous nudity, normally my favorite part of any anime title, is rather stomach-churning, particularly when the suspiciously young-looking Lou sheds her clothing and gets molested by Bad, who may or may not be related to her. In other words, it's shit.

Grade: D
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Posted on: Sunday January 26, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Mija: Beautiful Demon (DVD)
This one is a steaming pile! There's little to redeem Mija, from its poor execution to its bad character designs, cheap animation, and dull storyline. There's much better stuff out there than this.
Grade: F
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Posted on: Wednesday April 09, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

My Fair Masseuse (VHS)
I like My Fair Masseuse for a couple of reasons. First of all, it's funny-- Moko enjoys her job, but she doesn't pretend that it isn't kind of ridiculous, and the cast of characters she's surrounded with are pretty silly people. Second, there's no, um, unpleasantness-- no rape, no violent bondage, no enemas, or any of that crap.

Grade: B+
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Posted on: Sunday January 26, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Mystery of the Necronomicon: Book of the Dead (VHS)
Despite the fact that anime porn horror is frequently lacking (Demon Best Invasion, I'm looking your way) in any really good qualities, Mystery of the Necronomicon piqued my interest. This was largely due to its connection with H.P. Lovecraft, the loveably-unreadable master of pulp horror who coined the term Necronomicon for use in his stories.
Grade: C+
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Posted on: Monday January 27, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Nightmare Campus: The Movie (VHS)
Ahhh, hentai anime. Cornerstone of the American anime market, whether we want to admit it or not. While I've never found smut anime to be particularly interesting, I've got to admit that Nightmare Campus fairly well transcended my anathema towards the stuff. It's honestly well-done, especially for a genre that's known for amazingly bad character designs and low frame rates.

Grade: B+
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Posted on: Monday January 27, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Night Shift Nurses (VHS)
Night Shift Nurses' biggest problem, typically, is its main character, Dr. Ryuji Hirasaka. For some unexplained reason, he quit practicing medicine ten years ago, apparently while trying to acquire a female "specimen" for no-doubt sinister experiments. Ten years after, he's ready to start at a new hospital.

Grade: C+
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Posted on: Monday January 27, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

9 O'Clock Woman (DVD)
9 O'Clock Woman is uniform fetish fare, this time about a newscaster. Its story is surprisingly detailed and not as creepy as it first seems, but an unhappy ending and some poor animation keep it from standing out.

Grade: C+
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Posted on: Wednesday April 23, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Private Psycho Lesson (VHS)
Private Psycho Lesson has shattered my lofty perceptions of the artist U-Jin utterly. The plot is stale and unpleasant, and the character designs are unattractive. It's mediocre.

Grade: C-

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Posted on: Monday January 27, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Rancou Choukyo: Orgy Training (DVD)
There are neither orgies nor training in Rancou Choukyo. There also isn't really a plot. There aren't characters so much as vague avatars. And the sex scenes are crappy. In fact, the SHOW is crappy.

Grade: D
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Posted on: Thursday October 16, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Sex Demon Queen (DVD)
This one is short but sweet, a neat, compact, hilarious sex comedy.

Grade: B+
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Posted on: Thursday November 18, 2004 EST by Mike Toole

Sexorcist (VHS)
"Sexorcist, huh?" I thought, looking at the title. I pictured naked anime girls with spinning, vomiting, heads and shuddered in anticipation; comedy gold! Sadly, the title wasn't really accurate.

Grade: C-
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Posted on: Monday January 27, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Sins of the Sisters (VHS)
Sins of the Sisters is worse than just bad and incomprehensible, it's disturbing. I'm not Christian, but Sins is rife with imagery that anyone would find weird. There's imagery and depictions of the pope fucking a girl and then getting murdered, flesh-eating zombies, rape, and various miscellaneous desecrations of the church and cross.

Grade: F
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Posted on: Monday January 27, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Slave Sisters (DVD)
Slave Sisters features bad animation, ugly characters, and a truly awful story. The show's mixture of morbidity and stragely clinical sex scenes is completely, utterly unappealing.

Grade: F
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Posted on: Sunday September 07, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Slight Fever Syndrome (DVD)
The thing about Slight Fever Syndrome is, it's inconsistent. This turns out to work in its favor, though-- the first episode is the problem. The second episode is actually really good.
Grade: B
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Posted on: Tuesday January 21, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Sprite: Between Two Worlds (VHS)
Despite the seemingly-innocuous U.S. Manga Corps. label, Sprite: Between Two Worlds has some fairly serious (though largely implied) sexual content, along with plenty of nudity. One thing that struck me is that the animation and character design quality are better than I usually expect, which is certainly nice.

Grade: B
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Posted on: Monday January 27, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Strange Love (VHS)
[I like breasts as much as anyone, but when you stack them on top of a waist that's about as thick as my ankle and below shoulders that appear to have trouble supporting the character's head, well, I just find something unattractive about the character design.

Grade: C+
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Posted on: Monday January 27, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Summer Heat (VHS)
In hentai anime, the main character usually manages to get laid often. I look at some titles (New Angel comes to mind) and wonder how the guy can possibly manage 3 or 4 girls in one 30-minute period. Summer Heat is much closer to reality; it focuses largely on the fantasy life of an unlucky dork.

Grade: B-
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Posted on: Monday January 27, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Tales of Titillation (VHS)
Tales of Titillation surprised me-- it's a hell of a lot of fun. It's the perfect thing if you want to watch something a little racy, but aren't interested in anything really filthy.

Grade: A-
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Posted on: Monday January 27, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Teacher's Pet: The Training (VHS)
What kept distracting me from Teacher's Pet, however, is the crazy, bizarre art direction of the show. See, I think director Kan Fukamoto (of La Blue Girl fame) actually wanted to make something with pretensions towards being artistic, because the trees belch forth a payload of cherry blossoms whenever the overwrought music swells, or whenever it seems artistic or convenient.

Grade: C
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Posted on: Monday January 27, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Tokio Private Police (DVD)
How, exactly, might one make a popular and long-running series like Patlabor better? According to the folks at Green Bunny, the answer is sex, and lots of it. As a result of this line of thinking, we have Tokio Private Police, which literally seems almost exactly like Patlabor, only with fucking.

Grade: B
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Posted on: Monday January 20, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Tournament of the Gods vol. 1 (VHS)
Tournament of the Gods takes place in just such a nebulous fantasy-world. Reminded me of He-Man, sorta, only with naked chicks instead of effeminate skeletons.

Grade: C
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Posted on: Monday January 27, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Twin Angels vol. 3 (VHS)
People, this sucks, no pun intended. It's dreck. It's not worth the tape it's recorded on.

Grade: F
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Posted on: Monday January 27, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Twisted Tales of Tokyo (VHS)
[Bad acting. Bad animation. Bad music. Bad character design. Bad writing. Twisted Tales of Tokyo is just bad.

Grade: F
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Posted on: Monday January 27, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Vicious (DVD)
Vicious is more about horrific murder mystery than porn. It does have an abundance of sex scenes, but the dark story, generally unhappy characters, and constant organ background music cancel out any possible sex appeal. The story is competent and features a great twist ending, but the porn almost isn't worth it in Vicious.

Grade: C
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Posted on: Saturday May 31, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Virtua Call (VHS)
Virtua Call just has the usual problems that come with being based off a video game-- characters with thin personalities or none at all, an absence of a well-constructed plot, and even sometimes "stage select" screens that look eerily similar to videogame interafaces.

Grade: C+
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Posted on: Monday January 27, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Welcome to Pia Carrot (DVD)
There's not much to complain about in Welcome to Pia Carrot. It's not outstanding, but the girls are pretty-- it's harmless wish-fulfillment fare about a guy who improbably beds a bevy of cute waitresses.

Grade: B
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Posted on: Monday March 31, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

Welcome to Pia Carrot 2 (DVD)
Welcome to Pia Carrot 2 is nice, if a bit tame. It's cute and easy to watch, but the sex scenes are few and far between.

Grade: B-
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Posted on: Wednesday April 23, 2003 EST by Mike Toole

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