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Rantings of a Sandmonkey

Be forewarned: The writer of this blog is an extremely cynical, snarky, pro-US, secular, libertarian, disgruntled sandmonkey. If this is your cup of tea, please enjoy your stay here. If not, please sod off

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Poor Ronald


Hamas indoctrinates children? Nooo!

People who support Hamas and think it should be given a fair chance are not really reading up on the organization. For them I give this article and those pictures. Enjoy!



The Hamas Youth everybody.

Adel Hamouda can't take the heat

Adel Hamouda, the editor of Al Fagr newspaper, the one that published the cartoons back in october, has officially left the country for an undisclosed number of days in a journalistic investigation mission according to this week's edition of the newspaper and will come back "soon" with "journalistic surprises". This, of course, has absolutely nothing with the fact that an onslaught of phone calls from the international media demanding that he verify the story that he did indeed publish those cartoon in Ramadan with nothing happening to be true. He probably didn't look at his Jordanian counterparts- who have been in jail since they published those cartoons and were just allowed to be released on bail- and think "Shit, that could be me. I better get out of here!". No, that probably never happend at all, and this is all just a co-incidence!



As if Valentine's Day wasn't bad enough

Am I the only one who thinks they run such stories to rub things in our faces?

Fred Landis has a Valentine's Day ritual. Sometime, somewhere, he'll lean over to his wife, Gwen, and say, "I love you." They say he's been doing that on Valentine's Days since 1928, when they were married.

In October, Fred, 102, and Gwen, 101, celebrated their 77th wedding anniversary, and they are not far shy of a record. The longest current marriage, according to the 2006 edition of Guinness World Records, is 78 years, 296 days.

On Valentine's Day 2006, Fred will say "I love you" a bit louder than he used to because Gwen is hard of hearing. Fred has macular degeneration, which has kept him from writing poetry for her.

Gwen says Fred wrote poems to her during their courtship, a gesture that may have won her heart. "I think that had something to do with it," she said with a shy smile.

Those bastards. They make the rest of us "cynical realists" look bad. We need to ruin them. Somebody, anybody, send some 20 year old strippers and viagra to the guy, quick. No one deserves a love like that. It's just not fair. *pouts*

OK, ok, fine. I admit it: I am just bitter and they are cute as hell, if not inspiring. Happy now?

Real-life "7th Heaven" bastards! Grrrrrrrrrr............

Go for it

Saddam just went on a Hunger strike. Good. Don't meet his demands. Let him starve. Let the murderous fuckhead die. And have fun with it too. Bring deliciously smelling hot food and put it in front of his cell, with a fan behind it to transmit the smell his way. Some roasted Turkey, couple of juicy steaks, some brownies, some Pie. And then videotape his breaking down and begging for food and broadcast it on TV. And if he doesn't break down, and starves to death instead, even better. You really can't lose here!

It's like my co worker S. asked me today when he read about it in the paper: "When people go on hungerstrikes, like, who exactly do they think they are punishing?"

The UK bans public smoking

You know, I am not a smoker (smoke Shisha but that's about it), but when I see things like that happening, I can't help but think that these are facist moves. If people want to have smoking in their private clubs, they should be allowed to have smoking in their private clubs. And If the people working there are so afraid for their health, than they shouldn't work there. End of Story!

Freedom of choice and personal responsibility. They are not hard concepts.

Just the way it is

Israel's acting PM Olmert is warning that Abbas' latest powerplay may not be enough for negotiations to go on:

"[Abbas] knows that while we respect him and we are prepared to deal with him ... we will not be able to continue the same pattern of relations if he will choose to surrender to the existence of a terrorist organization rather than to act in order to disarm it and change its nature," Olmert said Tuesday in a speech before the leaders of American-Jewish organizations.

The United States, the European Union and Israel classify Hamas as a terrorist organization and have threatened to halt aid to the Palestinian Authority after Hamas' victory in a parliamentary vote last month.

Olmert reiterated Israel's refusal to negotiate with Hamas.

"I, here on behalf of the government of Israel, pledge to you that we will not negotiate and we will not deal with a Palestinian Authority that will be dominated, wholly or partly, by a terrorist organization," he said.


Tuesday, February 14, 2006


Hamas is between a rock and a hard place, and I can't say me is not pleased. Me is mucho pleased. Me does "I am so very mucho pleased" dance while sticking his tongue out.

On one hand, the outgoing parliament has voted in more powers to Abbas that will enable him to act as a check and balance to any attempts by Hamas to turn Ghaza into Hamasistan, which rumor has it, they are not very happy about.

On the other hand, the US and Isarel are pondering an attempt of "Regime Change" via performing a serious cash squeeze by denying aid to Hamas, which would force them to lay off thousands of government workers and in turn become hugely unpopular amongst the palestinian population. And guess what? Hamas is not pleased about that either!

Mushir al Masri, a Hamas spokesman and incoming legislator, said attempts to bring down a future Hamas government were hypocritical.

"This is ... a rejection of the democratic process, which the Americans are calling for day and night," al Masri said. "It's an interference and a collective punishment of our people because they practiced the democratic process in a transparent and honest way."

Nope, this is not that at all. They just don't like you, and they think if they give you money you will use it to buy weapons and wage attacks on them, so why give you any? This is aid money and aid is not an entitlement. End of Story.

"We need a firm Islamic and Arabic position to confront this challenge," al Masri added.

Sorry dude. We are too busy boycotting Butter and LEGO at the moment. Call back later when there isn't a cartoon crisis going on, will ya?

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot. This describes everything you are not.

Ron Larson has a sweet collection of anti-Valentine's Day Poems. Check them out!

Shameless Plug

The guy who wrote this is a genius. Pure Genius. Sexy too!


My co-workers were jumping up and down from excitment today at what they have concluded to be a sure sign from god that this cartoon crisis has been pre-ordained and foretold by Allah himself. Their proof? The 57th verse from surat Al Ahzab in the Quran, which says the following (3 translations present):

YUSUFALI: Those who annoy Allah and His Messenger - Allah has cursed them in this World and in the Hereafter, and has prepared for them a humiliating Punishment.
PICKTHAL: Lo! those who malign Allah and His messenger, Allah hath cursed them in the world and the Hereafter, and hath prepared for them the doom of the disdained.
SHAKIR: Surely (as for) those who speak evil things of Allah and His Messenger, Allah has cursed them in this world and the here after, and He has prepared for them a chastisement bringing disgrace.

What's so significant about that? Well, you see, the product code that identifies products that are made in Denmark is ...you guessed it...57! It's on the barcode of every danish product. Freeaaaaakaaaaaaaayyyyyyy!

Spooked out yet? You ready to believe now? Repent you danish Infidels you! The Product code of your country goes with the # of the verse. Surely that is proof that your government better apologize and declare Sharia laws or else suffer the wrath of God, no?


This I am sure will go to the Urban Legend Hall of Fame, the same way the flight Q33NY thing did. What? You don't know what I am talking about? Check it out:

Open Microsoft Word and do the following:

1. Type in capitals Q33 NY. This is the flight number of the first plane to hit one of the Twin Towers.

2. Highlight the Q33 NY.

3. Change the font size to 48.

4. Change the actual font to the WINGDINGS

And prepare to be spooked and shocked by the ultimate proof that 911 was orchestrated by the JOOOOOOOOOOZZZZZZZZ.

See? We told you so. We told you. But you just didn't listen. But You can't hide things from Microsoft. Microsoft knows all.

Too bad that the flight number of the first plane that hit the twin towers was actually American Airlines Flight 11.

Wait a minute! Hold on! 11, as in 9/11? WHOA.....


The Jews have a sense of humor

In light of recent events dealing with cartoons, and how Iran is running it's own anti-semetic cartoon context (cause that's different then the rest of the cartoons they usually publish, right?), the israelis have decided to retaliate by...... having their own anti-semetic Cartoons contest????

Amitai Sandy (29), graphic artist and publisher of Dimona Comix Publishing, from Tel-Aviv, Israel, has followed the unfolding of the "Muhammad cartoon-gate" events in amazement, until finally he came up with the right answer to all this insanity - and so he announced today the launch of a new anti-Semitic cartoons contest - this time drawn by Jews themselves!

"We'll show the world we can do the best, sharpest, most offensive Jew hating cartoons ever published!" said Sandy "No Iranian will beat us on our home turf!"



This is for my single people..

Being single is a mixture between loneliness and Euphoria: You are sometimes lonely when you go to bed at night, but you are pretty much euphoric the rest of the freakin Day!

Fun with Dick!

Cheney that is! You have dirty minds. Dirrrty!

Anyway, Dick "I shot a Lawyer" Cheney is facing an actual citation for violating Texas hunting code. Apparently shooting humans during hunting trips is illegal there now or something. Who knew? I kid Texas. Me loves Texas. Austin Rulez!

Still no word on how many parties the democrats are throwing this week to celebrate that Dick got cited for something though. Poor guys, they have been trying and failing to get him or Bush on something for so long, that they must be going nuts with frenzy as we speak. They will take what they can get, you know?


More Funny Dick stuff:

The Top Ten Things Dick Cheney Said After the Shooting.

Top 10 Things You'd NEVER Expect To Hear from Cheney after accidentally shooting his friend.

And Finally , the "who should've Cheney shot instead?" Poll.



Happy V.D.* everybody.

I hope you have a good V.D. and I hope you like it as well.

Enjoy Your V.D.!

*You figure it out!

Regarding the previous post

Just so we can be clear on this: I am not advocating mccarthyism, or the kicking out of Americans who disgaree with the government and its policies, or the curtailing of the freedom of opinions of people, even if they are living genetic waste like Cindy Sheehan for example. I don't advocate any of that.

All I am saying is this: If you hate the US, don't immigrate to the US. If you openly call for the murder of the american soldiers, then they shouldn't let you in America. If you call Saddam Hussein your national leader, and he happens to be an enemy of the US in a time of war, then maybe you should be watched. And if you are a self-admitted communist, then don't try to move to the most capitalistic nation on Earth. Go to Cuba or North Korea, or other "free-loving" America-hating people states, where you can discuss the evils of capitalism and shout anti-american slogans all day long if you want to. I know that San Fransisco is the next best thing, but it's still inside America and you shouldn't be allowed to immigrate there.

In a nutshell: If you publically admit your hatred for America, declare your allegiance to one of its war enemies, publically call for the murder of american troops, and are a self-described communist, then you shouldn't immigrate to America, and they shouldn't let you in even if you tried. End of Story.

Kick Him Out and Keep Him Out!

That is all!

Monday, February 13, 2006

On Heroes and Hypocrites

Disclaimer: Warning, Warning, an extreemly biased pro-US rant coming right ahead. If you don’t like the US, just don’t read it. Scroll down and read something else on this blog or any of the other fine blogs that I have in my blogroll. You have been warned!

I am not a Hero. Not by a long shot. Neither do I ever want to be. I am the embodiment of P.Diddy’s line “I ain’t nobody’s Hero but I wanna be heard!”. I say what’s on my mind, and I am pretty consistent at aligning my life with my beliefs. Say what you say about me, but the one thing you can’t call me is a Hypocrite. That word does not apply to me, which is more then I can say about some other “Hero Bloggers” out there.

Take for example Dr. As'ad AbuKhalil, otherwise known as the “Angry Arab”. Dr. As’ad is a “hero” for his many Arab readers, always providing them with news pieces and criticisms that confirms their P.O.V. of the world: i.e. America Bad, Bush is evil personified, the damn Israelis are taking everything, etc..etc… And that’s fine, except for the slight fact that the man has been living in America for the past 23 years, where he taught at various Universities and establishments. He despises America and everything it does and stands for, yet has no qualms about living there for most of his life and making his money out of teaching in American Universities. If that’s not hypocritical, I don’t know what is.

But then again, maybe I am being too hard on the man when it comes to that specific issue: After all, where would he go? Back to Lebanon, which he despises with fiery passion? The man has no qualms attacking the Cedar revolution, which he calls the“Hummus revolution”, and shown no concern for the murders of Rafiq Al Harriri or Gibran Tueni, or any of the other outspoken anti-Syria Lebanese critics who got “silenced” by the Assad Regime in Syria. He doesn’t even care about the bad economic conditions that the Syrian occupation has left Lebanon in. His biggest concern? The conditions of the half a million Syrian workers in Lebanon who live there and provide Syria with its biggest source of hard currency. He fears they might get discriminated against because the “Shallow Lebanese” are mad at Syria. Forget the hordes of unemployed Lebanese guys who have to work abroad because they can’t find jobs in Lebanon, or the fact that it was some of those Syrian workers who burned down the Danish Embassy in Beirut last week. It’s all a set–up apparently. I blame the Jooz myself.

And moving from the pro-Syrian anti-American socialist Lebanese-American professor, we come to the other hypocrite of the day, our dear old friend Raed Jarrar. If any of you don’t know who Raed Jarrar is, or haven’t been around the blogosphere enough to meet him, here is a previous post that I wrote about him. Basically your average communist, Saddam is our national leader, America is evil, Democracy will open the doors to hell, Bush is Hitler kind of dude. Naturally through out his blog all he does is attack the US, which made him a sensational Hero of the leftist american blogosphere audience. The Kid’s disdain for America and the American life-style and set of values is of historic proportions, yet somehow he is ok with moving to San Francisco and getting a green card with his Iranian-American wife Nicki. That’s not hypocritical. No Sir. And the fact that he shut down the comments feature on his blog the moment he moved there is indicative of nothing, nothing at all.

But we can’t mention Raed without mentioning Nicki, who champions and defends the current Iran regime in all of her blogs while attacking the US, the country that houses her as we speak. Never mind that her parents came to the States escaping the Mullah regime in Iran, which she defends so much; never mind that she would never ever move there or even live there, or that she has no actual first-hand experience of what the Iranian people have to endure under the current theocracy thanks to her american citizenship. Don't bother with facts: The US is bad, Iran is good, she just wouldn’t want to live there.

So, to all of you America-Hating Arab Heroes out there, please don’t be Hypocrites and move there. If you hate the US that much, I have a simple piece of advice for you: LEAVE, or even better, DON’T EVER MOVE THERE. If you hate America and love Iran, move to Iran. If you hate America and love Iraq, then stay in Iraq. If you are a socialist professor, move to Canada: they are socialists and they speak English. And if you are a communist, please remember that the US is a capitalist country before you apply for the green card and move instead to the communist Paradise that is Cuba or North Korea right this minute. Just don’t go and live in a country you openly hate, attack and despise, and whose values do not reflect your own. It either means that you are an Idiot or a hypocrite, if not both.

5 Sightings & 2 realizations

Those are things I saw yesterday in downtown cairo:

1) A new list of danish products getting distributed on the faithful to continue the boycott!
2) A big banner that informs the muslim population that Denmark- all of it apparently- are going to burn the Koran- yet again- this wendsday, and in retaliation we all should fast on Friday and then pray to god against them when we break the fast. (Not kidding!)
3) Two different editions of "Mein Kampf" translated in arabic and published by 2 different publishing houses being sold on the street.
4) "The Portocols of the elders of Zion" Book, translated in arabic of course, and being sold at Madbouly's Bookstore.
5) A car with a giant greenflag covering the back windshield that said "I would give my life for you dear Prophet of God"

Realization # 1: We are screwed!

Realization # 2: I need a digital camera!

Don't Hate, Date!

One of my readers reportedly figured out this creative way to end the Danish-arab world cartoon-blood fued: He created a dating website to promote Scandinavian-Arab dating for the sake of world peace. Here is the creator's philosophy behind it:

Dear People of the World,

We think it's downright silly to be arguing, burning embassies, boycotting Lego and killing each other over a series of silly cartoons. So we want to give a voice to the sane ones...those people like you who realize that we have more in common than different.

We ask you to show those idiot politicians and religious leaders that we can co-exist peacefully - by choosing to make friends with a funny foreigner today. Add your profile to Scandirabia.com and tell us why you'd like to be friends with someone different from you.

We figure that if we create just 100 pen-pals between people of different religions and cultures, the few hours it took to make this site was worth it. (And if we piss-off just ONE religious leader who says you shouldn't date someone of a different faith - wow, will we be happy!)

So, in essence, they are encouraging all arabs to be daters, not haters.

I can live with that! After all, Scandinavian women are hot!


Check it out!

More Blogger trouble

This time with Internet Explorer. For some reason, people who are viewing this blog using I.E. they are getting the text with a much larger font. It looks normal on Firefox though, so I don't know what's wrong with it or how I could fix it. Any ideas/suggestions?

*Update: I found the piece of code that was messing it up and fixed it. You should have no more troubles with the Font now!

Just causing trouble part deux

This is the frontpage of the Egyptian Newspaper Al Multaqa Al Dawly (the international meeting place). Very inventive, no? (h/t: Angelsiiighs)


You know, in terms of retaliatory humor, we-muslims and arabs- are way way behind. We are not imaginative in how we make fun of who makes fun of us. I mean, look at this picture of the Queen of Denmark. Oooh, Queen's head on the body of a belly dancer, that's funn...nahh...that's lame. And if it's suppsoed to be humiliating, it really isn't, because the danes make fun of their queen all the time, and sometimes in more graphic ways than this. And when they do put her head on someone else's body, they make it look good and realistic. But then again, they probably use tools more advanced than sicssors and glue.

The Danes will probably look at this and laugh, because, like, they have a sense of humor. No chips on their shoulders. To cite an example, the person I took this from said : "Danish women realyyy know how to keep their bodies in shape"!

I don't know about you, but I am guessing the Al Multaqqa Al Dawly people wouldn't be happy with that response. You know?

That was quick!


Just causing trouble

Moses and Jesus.0


Sunday, February 12, 2006

Dick Cheney just shot someone


I knew it was bound to happen one day, I just didn't expect it to be a duck-hunting accident. More like a Democrat or Ralph Nader or something.

I think he just made history as the first US VP to ever shoot someone during office, not to mention a senior citizen. Now that's Gangsta! RESPECT!


UK Ads

This is my favorite by far!


Check out the rest of them here!

The Truth about Condi

IMAO tackles the concept of a Condi presidential-run, and pulls no punches when it comes to adressing the inherent problems in such a candidacy.

One problem with Condi is that, apparently, no one listens to her, as everyone keeps talking about her as a Presidential candidate. Her advantages are that she has experience at a national level and doesn't have any voting record to criticize. Also, she is able to use her mind to move small objects.

There would be a lot of controversy if she runs for President, though. For one thing, she is a race of some sort. Is America really ready to elect someone who belongs to a race? Also, she's a woman. Is America ready to elect a woman when, throughout history, it has been known that women are useless at everything?

Oh Boy!

Read the whole thing.

Feeding the ever-expanding ego


A Rabbi, a Mullah and a Priest

In the spirit of lightening things up, I give you this joke that I've found in Irshad Manji's latest article (which you should probably read as well):

Here’s my attempt: a priest, a rabbi and a mullah meet at a conference about religion, and afterwards are sitting around discussing their different faiths. The conversation turns to the topic of taboos.

The priest says to the rabbi and the mullah, “You guys can’t tell me that you’ve never eaten pork.”

“Never!” intones the rabbi.

“Absolutely not!” insists the mullah.

But the priest is sceptical. “Come on, not even once? Maybe in a fit of rebellion when you were younger?”

“Okay,” confesses the rabbi. “When I was young, I once nibbled on bacon.”

“I admit it,” the mullah laughs (not excessively). “In a fit of youthful arrogance, I sampled a pork chop.”

Then the conversation turns to the priest’s religious observances. “You can’t tell me you’ve never had sex,” says the mullah.

“Of course not!” The priest protests. “I took a vow of chastity.”

The mullah and the rabbi roll their eyes. “Maybe after a few drinks?” the rabbi teases.

“Perhaps, in a moment of temptation, your faith waned?” the mullah wonders.

“Okay,” the priest confesses. “Once, when I was drunk in seminary school, I had sexual relations with a woman.”

“Beats pork, huh?” say the rabbi and the mullah.

True That!

Saturday, February 11, 2006

7 Questions

To all my muslim readers,

I noticed that some of you always have the same questions and criticisms to me ever since that Cartoon Controversy started and especially after the Al Fagr discovery. Since I am lazy and tired of answering the same questions over and over again, I decided to provide you all with the answers to your questions right here, so I can just refer you and any future questioner to this post instead of typing the same stuff over and over again.

There we go:

You are showing these cartoons out of context. Why don’t you translate what is written in those articles in arabic so that people can see what the newspaper had to say about this?

Gladly. The title on the first page says: "Cartoons used to mock the Prophet and his wives", while the inside article with the cartoons says "the vile act still continues". It’s an article that condemns the printing of the cartoons, and mentions the story behind them, and reports on how it’s another example of the west’s campaign to attack Islam. They also did that during Ramadan.

Ok, satisfied? We happy? Still doesn’t make a difference. The point is that those cartoons were published in a widely circulated Egyptian newspaper, during Ramadan, and no one said shit. No one mentioned it anywhere. No one condemned anything. And don’t tell me it’s because that paper isn’t widely circulated. I had a copy at home by coincidence, Freedom For Egyptians had one too, and I am sure many many other people bought that paper and said nothing, by proof of the fact that no one ever scanned those cartoons off of that newspaper and sent it out in the gazillion e-mails that were forwarded in regards of that issue.

But let’s say that no one read it, or not enough people read it. Well, let me refer you to the argument of the IT Guy in my company, one of the biggest forwarder of the “support the prophet” e-mails and someone who was truly enraged by the discovery that those cartoons were published in Egypt last October. I tried to calm him down by saying that it was Ramadan, and people were probably not concentrating because of the fasting and therefore didn't pay attention that such a thing got printed and he said “But Adel Hamoudah is very known. What? No other Newspapers read his newspaper? Not a single Newspaper editor in Egypt read this? No one in Al Ahram or Al Akhbar saw this and thought that this was wrong. That this was an issue that should be addressed in their newspapers as well? How could they get printed and no one says anything? How is that possible?”

I didn’t know how to answer his question. I told him that my best guess was that they must have thought it wasn’t a news worthy story. That didn’t calm him down one bit though.

But You continue to miss the point that they printed those cartoons in order to inform us of the great insult to the prophet the newspaper was making. Do you see now why the fact that they are published is not indicative of anything?

No, actually, they are indicative of a lot. The People who are behind this “outrage” are not saying that it’s Haram (forbidden) to make cartoons mocking or making fun of the prophet; They are saying it’s Haram to do any kind of illustration of the prophet in any context, period. That includes, in their eyes, any image of the prophet that was made, printed, copied, re-copied for any purpose or reason. Any such image is Haram, regardless of whether their intent is to mock or inform. Ask any Imam you would like on this, he will tell you that I am correct.

This is why none of the Egyptian newspapers who reported on this story ever showed the cartoons in their pages. Hell, that’s the reason why not a single arab newspaper showed those cartoons either, instead opting for the “Hallal” choice of just describing them to people. The Majority of the people who got outraged over this and boycotted Denmark never even saw those cartoons to begin with. They just heard that Denmark showed a cartoon that portrayed the prophet and showed him as a terrorist, and that’s all it took for them to go nuts with the whole thing.

So, for Al Fagr to print it, and on the front page, during Ramadan nonetheless, is an offense worthy of having at least an apology by Adel Hamoudah, not to mention just a little outrage, if not a Fatwa on his ass by some of our Fatwa-happy clerics. None of this happened then, none of this is happening now, even with Al Fagr admitting that they did print the cartoon back then. And THAT's my point and the point of every person who considered this as ultimate proof of the hypocrisy of the whole crisis and how this whole thing was instigated for political purposes from the beginning, with the muslim worldwide population falling for it.

You must be a Christian or a Jew. You can not be a Muslim. What’s your religion?

Ahh, that infamous question. I bow down to your superior intellectual deductive reasoning that revealed my cover. Nope. Sorry. Hate to disappoint you, but I am muslim, my Mother is Muslim, my Father is Muslim, and my whole Family is Muslim. But while we are at it, do you realize how stupid this criticism tactic makes you look? So like, if a someone who had a valid criticism of Islam just happens to be a Christian, does that make his criticism any less valid? Is that what you are saying? Does that work the other way around? Does that mean that any Muslim who may have a valid criticism of Christianity or Judaism or any other religion should have his criticism discounted because he is muslim? Or am I not a muslim just because I don’t agree with YOU and YOUR POINT OF VIEW on everything in regards to Islam and Muslims? Last I checked, there was only one Prophet, and you are not him, so shut the hell up and stop using this stupid argument! You are making yourself look like an idiot!

But don’t you see that you are hurting the cause of Islam by doing this and helping its enemies attack it? Don’t you get how badly viewed muslims in Europe are?

Actually, I am aiding the cause of Islam by what I am doing more than anything you’ve ever done. Most of you do more damage to the image of Islam with your irrationality, emotional outbursts, retarded boycott movements, and rioting than any cartoon ever did or could hope to do. I , and the people who are like me, present to the west an alternative view of the muslims than the one they are used to see. I don’t even want to count how man e-mails I have gotten from Danish people thanking me for being a force of rationality in this debate, apologizing for anything they have ever done to offend us, and wondering why the muslims the world over are boycotting the whole country of Denmark and burning its flags and embassies. They would ask me :”Don’t they know that we support the arab causes? Don’t they know that we support the Palestinian cause? That we provide them with aid and stick up for them politically? Why are they burning our flags and threatening our people?”. Imagine when you have to answer them with: “Well, ehh..one of your newspapers made a cartoon of the prophet that really offended them!” Get mad at them all you want, but the Danes did not deserve this and it was wrong to punish them all for what a newspaper there did. They know this, and if people like me did not exist, they would think that all the Muslims and arabs in the world are of the kind that makes up those demonstrations the world over.

And speaking of those morons, please answer me that: Who hurts the cause of Islam more- Me, or people who chant “Bin Laden, explode Copenhagen? And concerning how the muslims in Europe are presented, well, with people like these demonstrating for the prophet, and not a single muslim counter-demonstrating them, what are they supposed to think? I mean, do you understand that Europe may have a good reason to be mad at its muslim population? That maybe the fact that they had bomb attacks in Spain and Britian, and almost had the city of Paris torched down may make them just a little, I don’t know, peeved at muslims? That maybe when they see signs saying “Butcher those who mock Islam”, “Prepare for the real Holocaust”, and “Europe, your 9/11 is on its way!” and guys dressed up as a suicide bombers in a demonstration decrying those cartoons, just maybe, they would think that muslims are crazy violent people? Who hurts the image and cause of Islam more, me or them?

But surely, as a muslim, you want Islamic principles to exist and spread in the west as well, no?

Ehh, sure, when we set an example of by following and spreading the Islamic religion’s principles in the middle-east first. Let me elaborate by telling you a story.

I was sitting with one of the Islamic scholars that goes and tries to spread Islam in the west. A really well educated old guy with perfect English and everything. He told me that in his last trip he went with a group of muslim scholars to spread the religion, they formed a Seminar on Islam, where they presented the usual Islamic marketing points: Islam is the religion of Peace, Islam is the religion of Knowledge, Islam is the religion of Democracy, etc etc… It was all going well until the Q&A; segment of their seminar and then the questions started.

The first question was if Islam was the religion of peace, how do they explain all the conflicts the world over that Islam is a party in, to which they responded with the usual “Every conflict is different and sectarian conflicts are not exclusive to Islam, e.g. Northern Ireland” response. So then they were asked but how would they explain all the terrorist attacks and killing of civilians that goes on in the name of Islam, and they responded by saying “that it was an extremist minority, that every religion has its fanatics and that its wrong to judge the religion by that minority’s actions”. So far, so good, right? And then the next question came:

“You guys say that Islam is the religion of Knowledge and that it encourages seeking knowledge and science. Can you tell us how many Nobel prize winners in the past 100 years were muslims or came from muslim countries?” They couldn’t answer. Then the next question came “ You say that Islam is the religion of democracy. Can you tell us how many Islamic countries in the world that are democracies?” And the Imams were like “Shit!”. He told me that they couldn’t answer, that they were cornered and their argument defeated by the behavior of muslims worldwide. He lamented that naturally those people wouldn’t believe that Islam is the religion of all those things, when almost none of the muslim countries employ those principles themselves. I mean, how could they?

So yeah, I say let’s show those Islamic tenets of tolerance, peace, knowledge and democracy in our countries first, and then try to export it outside. Trust me on this, you would get much better results by leading by example than postelizing ideas that almost no one in the Islamic world implements. Do that first, then move it to Europe, ok?

Surely you agree that the religious beliefs of people need to be respected by society and by law from being mocked in such an offensive way?

No, actually I don’t agree to that at all. Let me quote Andrew Sullivan here and say “that a self-confident faith is not this defensive and touchy. It can and must brush off provocation, or be consumed by it. It’s that simple. Islam should expect to get ridiculed, mocked and provoked by its critics and enemies alike, and it should respond in kind, i.e. dialogue, not by killing those who disagree with it.

But I do like that proposal of having people’s religious beliefs respected by all societies by law. I propose we do implement it immediately when it comes to Islam, Christianity and Judaism. Right this minute.

I also call in the name of tolerance for all cow-worshipping Hindus (the hundreds of millions of them) that we cease eating cow meat, cheese, the abomination called the cheeseburger, Leather products of all kind, and any cartoons depicting cows in any way or shape. And for that to happen in every country in the world, especially muslim countries, in the name of tolerance and understanding.

While we are at it, I demand the same rights extended to the scientologists, all 10 million of them, by never making fun of our aliens from space ancestors in any way ever again. Movies such as war of the worlds and Independence day should be burned, their stars heavily reprimanded, and the President of the USA should apologize for them. Especially War of the Worlds. And while we are at it, behead Tom cruise, who is a scientologist who starred in such a blasphemous movie. Hell, behead him anyway.

And please, let's not forget the 10 million Pastafarians, those who worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster and were touched by his noodely appendages, and tolerate their views as well by burning down the Ramen noodles factories all over the world, banning all kinds of pasta from ever getting eaten or having spaghetti lampooned in any way, shape or form because this is blasphemous to their beliefs.

And again I call for that to happen in every country in the world, especially muslim countries, in the name of tolerance and understanding. I also call upon all the muslims who demand such special treatment from Europe to lead by example on this whole thing!

Now do you get why we can’t do that? Why once we start bending free speech in the name of tolerance and understanding of one religion, we will have to accommodate all religions the same way? That the moment we start drawing red lines for sensitivity’s sake for one faith, we would have to do that for all faiths, even the incredibly ridiculous ones? Do you understand why we can’t compromise on freedom of speech in the name of sensitivity for people’s beliefs? Do you get it?

Fine Mr. Smart ass, what should we do next time someone does that? Just sit there and take it while they insult our beliefs and attack our Prophet?

I didn’t say that, although ignoring them is certainly a valid option, especially if you know that you are on the right side of the issue. As I have previously mentioned, this sensitivity shows a serious lack of confidence in Islam , its prophet and its message. Not to mention, it’s insulting to think that a Prophet exalted by god could get tarnished or mocked by a cartoon.

Anyway, let’s ignore that for a minute and give you guys alternatives, but only after you agree that 1) boycotting a whole country because a Newspaper in it published an offensive cartoon is stupid because you punish the innocent majority with the offending minority, and 2) No matter how pissed off you may be, you should never bomb churches, burn embassies or kill people over such an offense. It’s not a good idea.

Now, for the alternative solutions:

1) The Ahmad solution:

In the spirit of the life of the Prophet, here are 5 ways how the Muslim world could have responded the the Danish cartoons:

1. Apply to the Ministry of Culture in Denmark to organize a big exhibition about the Life of Prophet Mohammad and Islamic History. The Saudi and other Arab governments would finance this event and promote it in a big way in the Danish media.
2. Invite 100 Danish children to come and live with Arab and Muslim families to learn about life in today’s Arab and Muslim world.
3. Invite the editors of the Danish newspaper to a well publicized cultural debate in Doha, Qatar or Copenhagen.
4. The embassies of Arab and Muslim nations could commission a website in Danish about Islam, contemporary muslim thinkers and life in today’s Islamic world. A dedicated staff would respond to incoming questions and request for information.
5. Subtitle the movie ‘The Message’ in Danish and try to get many movie theaters and cultural centers in Denmark to show it.

This solution is good because it addresses the issue at hand: the misrepresentation of the Prophet, and handles it in a very decent, and civilized way. It also addresses the serious flaw that all of these people who are losing it and demanding an apology from the PM of Denmark are missing: That any apology they will get now will not be an acknowledgment of error in the insult to the prophet’s image, but rather a response to calm you crazy people down. It’s like me calling you names and only apologizing once a gun is pointed towards my head: It’s not sincere, and I am only doing it to get you not to kill me. That’s not Respect, that’s fear, and that’s not what you want. You want people to respect Islam and not fear it. For you people I say Ahmad’s solution is the way to go.

But since not all of you are that nice and civilized, and you would like those who insulted the prophet to be punished, there are other meaner ways to getting back at them and they are coming right ahead.

2) The Legal action solution: This is the one where you sue the publication that printed those cartoons that insulted you. You sue the hell out of them, and you sue them everywhere you could. You sue them in Denmark, all over the EU, and in all over the Arab countries if you could. Sue them for Libel, for racism against Islam, for emotional distress, for irrevocable emotional damages, for anything you could. Drain them financially by having all their money going to Lawyers. Hit them where it hurts: their wallets.

Not only will that solution provide you your revenge, it will ensure that the Newspaper, or anyone else who heard of it, would do such a thing again out of fear of such an onslaught of lawsuits. You win by peacefully and civilly taking out those- and only those- who offended you and the Prophet, with no worldwide damage to the image of Islam, any place burned or any people dead.

3) The economic terrorism solution: This is the solution where you open up that Newspaper that offended you so much, and you see who advertises in it and write down a list of those companies. You then research those companies, and find out where they are located and who their President is. Afterwards you send that information out to all the people like you that you know, and start a letter writing campaign to all of those companies informing them that you were so offended by the cartoon/article/whatever in the Newspaper, call it racist, and inform the company that if they continue buying ad space there, that you would have to consider it racist as well, and thus not going to buy its products anymore. Send that same letter/e-mail to all the companies who advertise there, and make sure that everyone you know that thinks like you does the same. Make a press conference that announces what you are doing to get publicity for it and get the word out, and then watch in 2 weeks as said publication declares bankruptcy as you are toasting victory with your non-alcoholic champagne.

This solution understands that any form of media relies on advertisement as a major source for their income. It’s what keeps them going and covers their expenses, and if no one advertised there anymore, they would go out of business. It’s what the conservatives in the US do when they see something on the media that pisses them off, and it works. Not to mention, imagine the amount of readership the newspaper would lose once it gets the reputation of being racist. There is no way out of it for them, you would get your revenge, and afterwards no one in the media will attempt to put something in their newspapers that pisses you off ever again. And if one does, repeat the process as necessary. Soon you won’t have to anymore.

And that is all Folks. If you read this far, then you are a hero. Now at least leave a comment so I can know who you are.

The MB's game

A while back I asked one of my friends if he noticed how the MB in Egypt has been silent in reagrds to the whole cartoon issue, and he said to me that now that I mentioned it, yeah, and that it is weird, since this is the kind of issue that they would be expected to make a big stink over. I replied to him smilingly that it makes sense for them to be silent, because the government was the one who started this whole mess and posed as the defender of the Prophet. What are the MB supposed to do? Praise the Government for its strong faith, islamic behavior and defense of the prophet? No way they would do that, since their whole argument is that they are the defenders of Islam, while the government is run by un-islamic infidels . No way they would give them that kind of islamic credibility by supporting their actions.

My friend told me that I was being too cynical and that not everything is politically motivated this way.

I said that maybe he is right.

But the MB in Egypt continued their silence on the topic. No statements by Akef, no fiery proposals by the MB's MPs in parliament. Nothing.

That was, of course, until the Government showed signs that it wants the whole controversy to be over....

....and that's when the MB broke their silence. Big Time.

Egypt saw its most widespread protests yet, with thousands protesting in 21 of its 26 provinces, including in Cairo and the second-largest city, Alexandria.

Many were organized by the opposition Muslim Brotherhood, which has called for marches to continue — but peacefully. The group's deputy head, Khairat el-Shater, appealed to Muslims beforehand "not to let their furor drag them into attacking properties ... or to turn into a clash between civilizations."

But violence erupted when police tried to stop demonstrations.

In the northern Delta city of Mahalla el-Kubra, where some 15,000 people marched, security forces fired tear gas and water cannon when demonstrators refused to disperse. Protesters pelted them with rocks and attacked shops and cars. At least 20 people were arrested.

About 1,000 people protested outside Cairo's Al-Azhar Mosque, some chanting "Osama Bin Laden, explode Copenhagen," and burning a Danish flag. Some threw shoes at police trying to bar their way, and security forces beat protesters with sticks.

Afterward, Brotherhood official Mohammed Bishr said the violence and flag burnings were caused by "intruders who infiltrated the peaceful demonstrations."

Oh, yeah. I am sure those were intruders. Riiight!

Now , with the MB entering the scene, the government will regret ever instigating this "outrage" in the first place. You can't out-islamize the islamists. The government has invoked and stoked the fire of islamism, and now they will get burned by it, again.

Too bad we will get burned along the way as well!


Professional hitman Wanted?

An Egyptian blogger just wrote a wanted ad looking for a professional hitman to kill..well..herself. I am not putting this up to help her, so professional hitmen, stay away from her. Just go there and try to cheer her up please.

Moving out of blogger soon

I keep getting e-mails and comments complaining that the comment section in one post won't work, or the RSS feed in another is busted, and other stuff like that. This has prompted me to consider an offer made to me of moving out of blogger to a new location that offers better and more relaible service. The new blog will be much imporved, and it will even have a forums section and everything. Once I set things up, I will let you all know!

A realistic plan for World peace


Cause, well, you gotta nuke something!

Quotes from yesterday

"I keep thinking that I could've bought that tournament ticket pack for EGP200 about 3 months ago, but I was like "Nahhh, chances are they won't even pass the first round'. I am an idiot!"

A friend of mine that paid 300 pounds to get a ticket to yesterday's game.

"God, please let Hadarry catch the ball. Oh god, please God. Let him catch the ball. Please God, please god, let him catch the ball, let him catch the ball God...."

An elderly woman standing next to me, praying to god that our golakeeper Essam El Hadary catches the ball during the penalty kick-offs while jumping up and down from excitement.

"Ya Allaa koll le abook, el faraanha yesharafook"

Egyptians chanting in the street "Alaa (Mubarak) tell your father, the Pharaohs will honor you/make you proud"

"I am happy to see egyptians being patriotic, I just hope it sticks with them after this tournament"

A friend of mine, angry that this show of patriotism never reared its face when it was needed during the presidential elections.

"They have created a makeshift bonefire outside mom, in the middle of the street. A FIRE. I can't go anywhere!"

A girl on her cellphone to her mom.

"This is not a proper celebratory riot. Where are the flipped cars? Where are the drunk girls flashing their boobies? I mean, the Bonefires are impressive, but come on. Have you seen how we rioted at my University when the Patriots won the superbowl? We flipped over 9 cars!"

Me, yesterday, to my friends.

"The Egyptians here have lost it! They are running around Dubai's streets with flags. They are doing the same thing in Paris, stopping cars in the streets with their dancing and hollering"

A friend of mine in Dubai, U.A.E.

" We really should remove that Eagle from the flag. It's really stupid and pointless, and our flag looks better without it"
"We should put a football there instead"
"That's not a bad idea. God knows we have nothing to do with that flag until a football tournament comes along."
"I KNOW!!!"

A conversation I was having with a friend after the game.

Check out Big Pharaoh's pictures of Egyptians celebrating on the streets of Cairo here.

Proof that mormons are retarded

Or at least produce mentally retarded children.

A rare, severe birth defect is on the rise in an inbred polygamous community on the Utah-Arizona border, according to a doctor who has treated many of the children.

Intermarriage among close relatives is producing children who have two copies of a recessive gene for a debilitating condition called fumarase deficiency. The enzyme irregularity causes severe mental retardation, epileptic seizures and other effects that often leaves children unable to take care of themselves.


Tarby believes the recessive gene was introduced by one of the community's polygamist founders.

Community historian Ben Bistline said most of the community's 8,000 residents are in two major families descended from a handful of founders who settled there in the 1930s.

"Ninety percent of the community is related to one side or the other," said Bistline, a former member of the sect, the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

"They claim to be the chosen people, the chosen few," Bistline said. "And their claim is they marry closely to preserve the royal bloodline, so to speak."

You mean that in-breeding is bad? Nooo!!!!! You don't say!

A palestinian good-will gesture

In the wake of the cartoon war, I've missed talking about the Egyptian envoy who was kidnapped by palestinain militants in Gaza (a fantastic parody of their reasoning is availible here at Jimmy's blog). This marks the third incident in this past year that our "palestinian brothers" showed their love and respect to us by committing acts of agression and violence against us. First there was the time when they blew up our borders after the Gaza withdrawel in september, then there was the second time where they blew up the border again, opend fire on our border patrol people and killed 2 egyptian soldiers and injuring 20 more, and the third being this kidnapping of our envoy. If that's not love and respect, I don't know what is.

But, hey, they have freed the envoy today, as a "good-will gesture" towards Egypt, which is weird, since I thought a good show of good-will would be not kidnapping our officials at all. But what do I know?

Palestinian police said they picked up Hussam Almousaly at a mosque in Gaza's Zeitoun neighborhood overnight. Egyptian diplomatic officials confirmed Almousaly was unharmed and back at his home in Gaza City.

The Al Ahrar Brigades, the previously unknown Palestinian group that claimed responsibility for the kidnapping, reiterated its call for the release of Palestinian prisoners held by Egypt and said it was not connected to the Palestinian Authority or any of the major Palestinian militant groups.

The group, whose name means The Liberated People, says Palestinians jailed in Egypt face torture and humiliating conditions.

The Al-Jazeera satellite network early quoted the group as saying in a statement early Saturday that it had freed Almousaly as a "goodwill gesture."

Palestinians jailed in Egypt? For what?

Egyptian security officials in Sinai, which borders Gaza, confirmed more than 80 Palestinians are in jail for weapons smuggling or illegally entering the country.

Oh, ok then. I got no problem with that.

The Egyptian diplomats would not say whether they had consented to the kidnappers' demands.

Well, they better not. And the Palestinain Authority better jail those Al-Ahrar brigade for what they did as well. Any respectable government would do that if some of their citizens kidnapped a political envoy of any other country. Stop the forgive and forget bullshit and the "but they were opressed by the israelis and thus they don't know any better" crap. A real good-will gesture by the palestinians after what they did would be to lock those bastards up. Anything less than that would be bullshit.

You have proven your critics right!

To all the people who thought the boycott and everything that happend afterwards was a good idea:

Congratulations, you have proven your critics right!

The second most e-mailed news item on Yahoo today is the new column by Ann Coulter- you will remember her as the woman who after 9/11 said that America should bomb and invade muslim countries and convert them to christianity- who, of course, uses the incidents that have been happening all over the world to prove, well, her less than flattering view of muslims everywhere.


In order to express their displeasure with the idea that Muslims are violent, thousands of Muslims around the world engaged in rioting, arson, mob savagery, flag-burning, murder and mayhem, among other peaceful acts of nonviolence.

Muslims are the only people who make feminists seem laid-back.

The little darlings brandish placards with typical Religion of Peace slogans, such as: "Behead Those Who Insult Islam," "Europe, you will pay, extermination is on the way" and "Butcher those who mock Islam." They warn Europe of their own impending 9/11 with signs that say: "Europe: Your 9/11 will come" -- which is ironic, because they almost had me convinced the Jews were behind the 9/11 attack.

Oh man.

Friday, February 10, 2006





Ok, out to celebrate!


What if LEGO started making those?


No, seriously, what if they went to production with something like that? Can we claim they are being racist or prejudiced against muslims then?

And more importantly, would it be wrong of me to buy one?

We ended the cartoon war

It is reported that the world's Mulims and Arab leaders are urging calm over the fervor caused by the infamous cartoons. Now they are? I wonder why that is?

Ohh, wait, I know. It's because we broke out the story that the cartoons were published in Egypt, during Ramadan and no one protested at all, and that this uproar was instigated by them for political reasons.

Didn't I tell you that this thing is over?

Now, excuse me, I got a game to watch. GO EGYPT!

Some Quick Math

The owner of the company that owns the Egyptian Ferry that sank has been all over the news in Egypt repeating that he will give the families of those who drowned because of his employees' betrayal 150,000 [$26,000] per lost victim. The media inform us that this sounds really "big of him" considering that there was more than 1000 people who were lost in this tragedy, and normally when egyptians die in such accidents no one pays their families shit.

That is, of course, until you do some quick math...

The insurance policy on the ship- according to El Destour- stated that the Insurance company would pay his company $30,000 per victim, and for him to dispense it to the victims himself.

Now, let's do some quick math:

$30,000-$26,000= $4000.

$4000 x 1000 victims = $4,000,000 dollars that the company is keeping to itself from money it should be giving to the families of the victims. That's EGP 23,000,000 million profit, over the other $4 million dollars he will get from the Insurance company in compensation for the sunken fairy. And let's not even think about how the man will not be obligated to pay the victims' families the other 150,000 EGP unless they show him a death ceritificate of their lost member, and since the Egyptian Law states that you can not issue such a certificate without a deadbody, and most of the dead bodies have not yet been recoverd, the man can keep the majority of the money himself for at least 5 more eyars, since that's how long it takes for the Egyptian law to declare a missing person to be officially dead.

And people were wondering why the man was so calm and understanding on TV when they mentioned to him how the families of the victims destroyed the offices of his company.


Will this ever end?

Sunnis and Shia killing each other in Iraq and Pakistan. Certainly not a good day for Islam.

Man convicted in killing of niece says he shouldn't have cared for children


You don't say!

Jill Jill Jill

Jill Carroll is back in another video, asking the world to do whatever it takes to release her. Hmm...

You see, I was afraid of that. Her kidnapping became so high profile, the response to the last set of demands was so swift and the pressure to get her out safe has intensified so much that instead of pressuring her kidnappers to let her go, it's making them think that they have a golden goose on their hands, and they might continue making more demands and not release her anytime soon.

Which brings us to the moral dilemma: To accomodate or to ignore? If we accomodate, the people who kidnapped her may ask for demands that may cause serious damage (like releasing suspected terrorists or asking for large amount of ransom money to fun future kidnappings or whatever), and if we ignore them or decline, she may get slaughterd by them, and the world- in expected moral relativism- will place more blame on those who refused to meet the demands than on those who actually killed her.

Either way, people will die and we will lose. Damned if we do and damned if we don't.


For more on Jill, check Natasha's blog. She has a great round-up as usual.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Should I change this blog's name?

The MSM seems to refrence Freedom For Egyptians as the source for the Cartoons in Egypt story- even though I had it out there first and I had the explanation for the whole reason behind this conflict- while using my scanned pictures (and referencing to my blog in small print with no link). The reason? No one wants to cite a blogger called Sandmonkey, cause it might offend some people. There are rumors that they are protesting in Denmark because the Jylland Posten story had the term Sandmonkey in description of me. Oh well, whatever..

I am not really botherd by not being cited that much, cause 1) I did get my share of credit me thinks, 2) and the most important thing is for the story to get out. Plus, since when did the MSM do anything right? However, for future newsbreaks, I am wondering if a change of the blog name maybe necessary, since this has happend before. I could change it into something new or go with R.O.A.S. , which would just be an acronym with no change in the name and it would work for prissy ass news reporters.

So what you guys think? Change the Blogname, or not change the blogname? Let me know!

I have unleashed the genie

Oh Boy!

I am mentioned in the Jyllands-Posten website as the persona responsible for breaking the story of the cartoons being printed in Egypt back in October. Aghhhhhhhhhhhh

Guess I am part of the jewish zionist conspiracy now?



I am speechless

I have died and went to Blogger Heaven. 30000 hits in less than a day? Holy Crap.

Big Thanks to Pajamasmedia, Solomania, LGF, Michelle Malkin, Instapundit, Gatewaypundit and the 70 million other bloggers who linked to the story. No Andrew Sullivan though, he still refuses to acknowledge my existence :(. Love You anyway Sully. For those of you who may have your doubts on the validity of this story*, well, here is the newspaper website and the cover of that issue. Hope that's proof enough for y'all.

Dear New readers, make yourselves at home and feel free to browse around and check out the other stuff (or you can always donate to me wink wink nudge nudge). The Top 15 posts section on the sidebar is a good place to start. As for my other posts on the cartoon war, here they are in ascending order:

A message to those who demand a Denmark boycott
The retardedness continues
Can the foolishness stop now?
Let's boycott the boycott
If you don't torch your Benz, then you don't love the prophet!
We are choosing our battles I guess
Danish Embassy in Syria torched over the Cartoons
How the other side thinks
The Holocaust thing
Danish Embassy in Beirut torched as well
Just a thought
We are Sorry
The Vodafone conspiracy
Irony, redefined!
Der Standard interview
Boycott Egypt

Whoa, I could write a book on this. LOL

I put those up here , because I plan to put this whole exercise in stupidity behind me. I am done with this issue. For me it is over. There is nothing really more to say on the whole thing. I might have been proven right, but to be proven right about the stupidity of your own people is no victory at all. I just hope that this whole thing will fizzle out soon, and that God would forgive those of you who fanned its fire with your calls for boycott and your "Outrage", because whether you like it or not, the blood of all those who died and continue to die because of this is partly on your hands. Enjoy the fact that people died over a cartoon, ok?

Oh yeah, and don't forget to Buy Danish!

eat more danish

support danish cows

*The Newspaper took the page down, but Der Standard managed to get a screen-shot of it right here.