I am flattered. I didn’t know that this picture was selected as TA’s Shot of The Day on November 28, 2005! It’s better than Editor’s Pick because this is my first SOTD, and I didn’t expect it at all

This picture was taken last Saturday when we sent Yati to Tanah Abang train station, so I titled it “Tanah Abang” which literally means “Red Earth”.

Mom really wants to go to the hospital and stay there tonight, but we can’t do anything. Hope tomorrow everything will be better. We just prayed together. It soothed my heart a bit. I still have to go to her room every 30 minutes to move her legs. She now has to pee and poop on the bed, because her legs can’t be moved at all.

Please remember my mother in your prayer. Thank you.

Mom’s health is getting bad again. All her body sores and she can’t even be touched. There are a lot of bruises in her body. We called the doctor and he said she’s bleeding under her skin. He asked us to get her stay in the hospital, but we have no money. I am sad and I am hurt because my mother is in pain. I am angry because when we had money, Dad always gave it to his asshole friends. I don’t think Mom can bear the pain for another week. I called some friends and they also have no money to lend it to us.

I asked Mom if she still got some things from her late mother and she said she still has a diamond necklace in the bank deposit box. So tomorrow I will go there, collect and sell it. She doesn’t want me to sell it, but I told her that her health is more precious than anything else and that if she loved me, she should let me let the necklace go. I know this sound selfish, but I myself have nothing to sell for and to get the money for my mother …..

Tante Patricia is here, but I haven’t talked to her since I saw her face this afternoon. I don’t feel like being friendly to her and I also have nothing to talk to her about, even a simple “hi” or “hello”. I care less because I am a bitch, that’s all.

Yati’s mother told us this morning that Yati can’t go back here as she promised because she’s having typhoid. But Miskiyah just told us that she only bluffed because before she left last Saturday, she already gave some hints that she might not be coming back here. She brought home all her clothes and told Miskiyah to keep working here. Anyway, it’s okay and it’s her choice. I’m just a bit disappointed that she lied and somehow cursed herself …..

And finally my daily forecast is quite true today:

Daily Overview for November 30, 2005
Anyone who thinks you’re overly neat won’t believe their eyes when they see you in action now — but then, you’ll probably be surprised at yourself, too. You’re in a hurry and you’re not in the mood to worry about petty details.

If others had they own reasons, I have mine too. If I disappointed anyone, I was disappointed too. But sometimes reasons aren’t needed to be given, so let them be in silence.

Mind Hump (more…)

Don’t you feel sorry for him as he was forced to say it to me there? Or, would you rather feel sorry for me as I got nothing better to do?

But I love Adam Sandler! With all my dreams, idealism, hair and toes! Woo! He’s not the best looking guy in the entertainment world, but he is romantic, sensitive and funny “Funny” but not retarded like Jim Carrey and/or Rowan Atkinson aka Mr. Bean And he ’s musical, too! Is he that great too in real life?

Normally, reality sucks. If it didn’t suck, it’s not reality. Normally.

Anyway ….. I still can’t sleep because (1) I’m not sleepy (2) I have to wait for Tante Dessy to get home. Mom needs to be taken care and Tante Dessy and the whale are now picking up Tante Patricia at the airport. They will be here in about an hour. I hope.

I found that I was blogrolled here. I am flattered! So, thank you Mr. Lucas! My name was placed next to a Singaporean celeblogger. Whoa!

Sometimes I regret logging in to IM ….. I turned my Google Talk earlier because I like to be noticed when I got an e-mail. I forgot to set my status to “idle/away/busy” and I was “busy” surfing some blogs. Then Bertha came on-line and we chatted. It’s not that I don’t like talking to Bertha, but I wasn’t in the chatting mood.

So we were talking about our body weight and she asked me why I am so under-weight. I told her that I’m depressed. She asked why and I told her the things that drive me insane. Then she started to preach …..

I was amazed by the new Bertha and I am still amazed how God could wonderfully change a person. And how God will never fail His plans. But at the moment, I am/was not in the mood to be preached. I was glad that I had a friend to talk to, but I just don’t like being told what I should do and how wrong my feelings and thoughts are ….. I know she meant well, but that mama “gave” me “things” I didn’t need …..

Then I signed off because I was tired and bored. I slept for a couple of hours and then I woke up. When I was closing my eyes, the image of Mom being so weak clouded over my mind. I’ve been crying too much today.

I wonder how many times I gave people things they didn’t need just because I thought it’s good for them and I thought they needed it? And my “gifts” didn’t bless, but burdened them?

Ah. By the way, the girl in the picture is Adia, Bertha’s oldest daughter. I think she’s very beautiful ….. Indonesian beauty! Aha!

Marie sent me a fortune cookie yesterday

(more…)

TMI, Tales, Twosome and Chooseday (more…)

I slept after turning off the flybook at 01:30 and woke up 2 hours later, and since then I haven’t slept again. I can’t sleep. So I turned the flybook on again and changed my layout again. The last time I changed it was 10 days ago. Marie’s new layout really inspired me to change it again I found eris : design few months ago when I wanted to learn changing WordPress theme. So I went there again and modified one of her templates. I spent hours and I almost got frustrated because her WP codings can’t be just “copy/paste” here. I am not really good with CSS and still a WordPress dummy. I was so happy when I could fix few crucial tags and I like this theme so far. There’s less white color here and it’s more colorful now. It looks crappy on IE, though ….. I also changed the Christmas “theme” I previously had here. It’s not a good thing to be bitter for Christmas, right?

When I applied the ointment on Mom’s bruised butt, she cried again. I begged her to be patient and be strong for us, because we still need her a lot. We promise to be always there for her and even though we don’t feel the pain she has, we told her that her pain is ours and we hurt when she hurts. She promised us to fight against her sickness and to be strong …..

Then we three - Mom, Dad and I, cried together. We are small, loving, surviving, skinny family Thank God for the beautiful family we have. God’s good all the time and all the time He’s good.

The doctor reduced the dosage of Mom’s medicine, so now she doesn’t pee as often as before and I have more free times being alone. On-line, I mean.

I am currently chatting with Bertha and Marie. Bertha stopped typing after sending me these small pictures of some pink pig(?) she took last Saturday.

I guess Bertha is busy breastfeeding her baby now Marie, in another part of this world, is being excited with her new blog layout She helped me searching and castposting a Glenn Fredly’s song I’ve been wanting to blog since last Saturday. So thank you very much, Marie

Sekali Ini Saja

It’s a song about asking God for just one chance to be with and to love someone even if “I” should die today …..

“Tuhan bila masih ku diberi kesempatan
Izinkan aku untuk mencintanya
Namun bila waktuku telah habis dengannya
Biar cinta hidup sekali ini saja.”

I remembered Mom when I remembered that song last Saturday, but I think now I can just remember anyone when I hear this song …..

Hopeless romantic or hopeless case?

I live at the North Pole with my wife, Mrs. Claus. Together with an adopted family of elves, we raise about a 100 flying reindeer on property that extends south from the North Pole into the most northern parts of Norway. Each year, we deliver presents to kids around the world on Christmas Eve. The true, uncorrupted spirit of Santa Claus is founded as a thankful and giving celebration of the Holiest of Holidays.

Santa Claus

* Gender: Male
* Astrological Sign: Capricorn
* Industry: Non-Profit
* Occupation: Craftsman
* Location: North Pole : Norway
* Blog: Santa Claus’ Chronicles

Now we know that both Jesus and Santa Claus were craftsmen and Capricorn

Link stolen from Karen.

That’s Mom. Skinny, eh? The picture was taken this morning at Siloam Gleneagles Hospital after she got her blood tested and when Tante Dessy was helping her having her breakfast. I was so sleepy, so I walked around the hospital as we were waiting for the doctor that came later at 09:00. I took some pictures there.

The doctor said it takes a year at least to get Mom perfectly healthy like before and that her lab test result was good. I’m very happy to hear that - so Mom has a great chance to live! Yay! The next visit will be two weeks from today.

On our way home from the hospital, Mom wanted to have a cone of McDonald’s ice cream, so we stopped by and got her the ice cream

Bertha sent me the link to her Y! Photos this morning. I finally could see the picture of Bea! Bertha and Delly’s second child She’s too cute ….. I wanted to be there for Bertha when she gave birth early of October, but I couldn’t get my visa - so now I can only see the baby’s pictures. I hope I’ll be there the next time she gives birth again

I slept once I got home as I only slept for 2.5 hours last night. I am chatting with Susan now and can’t concentrate on writing