Poor Piglet

Aww. Poor Piglet. This wouldn't happen if the british attempts of tolerance and religious understanding weren't so retarded.

Yay for Egyptian security

In case some of you don't know or weren't aware, there is a group of US Marines and Secret Service agents currently residing in every major Hotel in Egypt. They are not there to protect any US visitor or anything of the like: They are there to secure the hotels , they have been doing this for a while now and they are there on a permenant basis it seems. You don't believe me, go to J.W. Marriot. You will see them there.

The reason why they are there?

Ehh, the Ministry of Interior has apparently acknoweldged its inability to secure those "terrorist targets", so they outsourced the job to the americans. Yeah. The country of 2 million policemen can not secure its hotels. Don't you just feel proud to be an egyptian?

The pragmatist in me is not against it; I am glad we have someone there who knows how to do their job for a change. It's the principle that pisses me off, or what the news implies about the state of this country: We have become a country that admitedly can't even secure it's own hotels. That's how inept we are.

Sigh...

The Trash for food program

The Venezuelan government has implemented an interesting program : The poor could bring in trash, and trade it for Food. I guess it beats looking inside the trashcan for food. Now the people will fight over the trash instead of the food inside the trash. That's what I call Dignity.

She and other Venezuelans who came to turn in their trash in a Caracas slum last weekend said they felt grateful to President Hugo Chavez and his political ally, Mayor Freddy Bernal, who promoted the program as a way to clean up the streets while helping to feed the needy.

No word on what will happen the moment they run out of trash.

But a majority of Venezuelans remain poor, and many among the hundreds who showed up lugging bulging plastic bags and scrap metal said life remains a struggle despite some improvements. One man brought an old sofa that had been lying in the street.

Bonilla turned in a bag of clothes and a bag of newspapers weighing 18 pounds, and in exchange chose a bottle of cooking oil and a small bag of powdered milk.

18 pounds of junk = cooking oil bottle and a small bag of powderd milk. Kaa-ching.

Some of Chavez's leading opponents accuse his government of running handout programs that help the poor just enough to win their political allegiance while not addressing deeper issues of poverty.

You think?

When did British start meaning retarded?

I was gonna report it, but Nadz beat me to it: In Britian, the Dudley council (in a Tory area nonetheless) has banned all all work pictures and knick-knacks of novelty pigs and "pig-related items" because a muslim employee complained that she found it to be offensive. Among the items : A Piglet (from winnie the Pooh) Box tissue. Yes, people, Piglet is Haram. It's part of the super-conspiracy to make muslims like pork, or something.

And the forces of "educated tolerance" and "cultural understanding" of course went right ahead and followed through without thinking on the piglet ban: A Headteacher in Yorkshire has banned books containing stories about pigs from the classroom in case they offend Muslim children.Guess they won't be reading the story of the three piggies and the Big Bad Wolf anytime soon.

And if that's not enough, this stupid moron called Chris Doyle, who is the director of something called "the Council for the Advancement of Arab-British Understanding" is asking that the English flag be changed, because it's an "insensitive reminder" of the crusades.

Doyle added that it was now time for England to find a new flag and a patron saint who is "not associated with our bloody past and one we can all identify with."

Ok, let me be the first to say this to you England: Don't you fuckin dare change a thing.

I am sorry, but this is bullshit. Imagine if someone sued muslims because the word "Jihad" or Allahu Akbar" offended them? Imagine if someone sued Turkey (which is secular mind you) for using the symbol of the cresecent on their flag, which brings also a bloody reminder of the Islmaic expansion wars, which i am sure not everyone back then was happy with. Would you support that? And does that mean no one can use the crescent again out of fear of being associated with it? Are we becoming this retarded?

And I am sorry, but piglet offends muslims? Piglet? Pictures of Pigs? Since when? I have yet to meet a single muslim in Egypt who thinks a picture a pig is offensive. Au contraire. Egyptian muslims love pigs. That's their favorite nickname for the Jews, and on a good day, sometimes even the christians.

But maybe that's the key to all this: British people need to start suing back. Women groups should start suing the Hijab and Niqab, cause i am sure it offends them. Victims of terrorist attacks by islamists should start suing Mosques that even mention the word "Jihad". Customers should sue Burger King to bring back that ice cream that had an inscription that in some way resembled the word "Allah" and then go buy it and eat it in front of the house of the dude who got BK to ban it in the first place. Hell, and the students who go to the same school with that Moron who insisted that going to school wearing the school Uniform instead of the Shiraz Qamiss violates her religious rights should sue the school for the right of wearing whatever the hell they liked or even going there naked. After all, they could decide to convert to the Nudadistic religion, which was founded by Egypt's own Big Pharaoh.

My point is simple: Live and let live. You get offended by unislamic things, move to an islamic country. You want to wear Shiraz Qamiss to school, go to Pakistan. The cross on the flag offends you, move to Israel or Saudi Arabia. You don't like the image of pigs on mugs, well, go to a therapist you freak. You have pig-issues, probably a Pig Phobia. Just don't use Islam and muslims as your excuse; they both get exploited enough as it is.

An Open Policy

In order to meet their recruitment targets, the US Army is lowering the bar and letting more people in who scored on the lower side on their apptitude tests. Not very wise army people. Not very wise.

Reforming Egypt

The International Crisis Group just issued a report on Egypt that examines the chances for democratisation following the country's first democratic elections. Check it out.

Nadz is on Fire

Her latest post is awesome.

Moneyshot:

We are constantly being told that we have to sit down after each terrorist attack and analyze the motives and grievances of terrorists. We're supposed to wring our hands and ask "why?" and ponder what we can do to appease people with explosives. Christopher Hitchens, however, is introducing a radical idea: Why Ask Why?

So, what did Indonesia do to deserve this, or bring it on itself? How will the slaughter in Bali improve the lot of the Palestinians? Those who look for the connection will be doomed to ask increasingly stupid questions and to be content with increasingly wicked answers.

On one level, I think that understanding the pschology of the enemy is a wise move - understanding a person's motives does not mean that you agree with those motives. However, I also agree that maybe, just maybe, there isn't a rationale behind a lot of terrorism except the illogic of theocratic ideology.

Instead of asking if we are to blame, perhaps we should try just blaming terrorist attacks on terrorists themselves - on their distorted worldview, their ideology, their malice. Instead of thinking of ways to appease them, we should be thinking of ways to defeat them, both militarily and intellectually.

Amen.

The 50 Most embaressing Ways to die

Here is a list of the 50 most embaressing ways to die, the most embaressing of which, in my opinion, has to be # 39 : Getting Sodomized by a horse. Talk about adding Insult to Injury!

The situation in Sinai

I am not optimistic, and here is why!

Controlling the charts

Chavez 's government is now regulating music on the Radio and making it hard for Venezuelan Radio stations to play foreign (i.e. american) music, in the name of cultural promotion and social responsbility. Naturally, the local musicians who no one listend to cause they SUCKED are happy about the new law, because their music will play more on the radio now and they will make more money. The only people poised to lose are the actual Radio stations, who will very likely lose their younger audience because they keep playing music that they don't really like.

Venezuela, such a fun free country. No wonder 2% of the population tried to get passports all in one day the moment passports were allowed to be obtained again. People are loving the socialist paradise so much that they wanna get the hell out.

Yay for socialism.

Nailing asian chicks

The Phat Phree has a great article on the different types of asian women and how to nail them.

Moneyshot:

Category 2: 1st and 2nd Generation Americasians

These girls are the descendants of bona fide Asians. Their parents might own a laundromat, liquor store, nail salon or Chinese food restaurant. A mixture of both cultures, these girls could and well might be rebellious from years of The Joy Luck Club mentality.

I caution you, though- these girls might want to bring home your cracker-ass just to irk their traditional-thinking parents. Also, treat this one wrong and she might get her ninja cousin to bring over his Yakuza tribe and Chinese-Star your ass.

Probably easy to sack, due to their “I’ll show you, father” attitude, but clingier than Saran Wrap. Their main goal is probably to diffuse the bloodlines and get the hell out of Dodge-san.

Yeah, I doubt men will care. Al we will be thinking is " Asian women. Small hands"!

Take a minute, and you'll get it!

A palestinian civil war?

It seems to be starting.

Gotta love the season

Today starts the month of Ramadan, where muslims deprive themselves of food and drink in the morning to be as gluttoness as they wish in the afternoon. Now, I would like to wish you all a Happy Ramadan, and would like to remind you that due to the holiness of this month, there will be increased chances of Jihady attacks. Now, how do you like that?

The Middle East is jittery as it heads into Ramadan, the Islamic holy month of fasting and spiritual introspection that has become a time of increased attacks by suicide bombers who believe they receive extra blessings.

Egyptian police planned increased watchfulness throughout the month, while insisting no specific threats had been received. But Israel warned its citizens to stay away from Egypt's beach resorts in the Sinai peninsula, calling the threat of attacks substantial.

Militants have not issued specific Ramadan-related threats, but the spike in violence in recent years — especially suicide attacks in Iraq — has been notable. One possible reason is the belief by some Islamic extremists that those who die in combat for a holy cause during Ramadan are especially blessed.

"This is a month that has a spiritual feel to it, which condones the issue of jihad (holy war)," said Diaa Rashwan, an Egyptian expert on Islamic groups. Tradition holds the Prophet Muhammad led his forces in winning battles against nonbelievers during Ramadan, the ninth and holiest month on the Islamic calendar, which is based on the cycles of the moon.

On the bright side, if you die in a terrorist attack during Ramadan, I hear that you are likely to go to heaven faster then anybody else. So, here is hoping! :)

A minority is chosen

Bush chose a woman to be his next supreme court nominee, and it's ruffeling everybody's feathers it seems.

Nadz's guide to the Anti-War protestors

Nadz has an awesome post on the different types of Anti-War protesters and how to deal with them. Take the "Bush Hater" type for example:

Latin name: Bushus Loathus e Lunaticus

Characteristics: A t-shirt saying one of the following: Fuck Bush, Buck Fush, Bush = Hitler, Hail to the Thief, He's Not My President, War Criminal, blablabla

Description: An irrational hatred of anything to do with President Bush - the very mention of his name will cause smoke to steam from their noses. They blame Bush for everything, from 9/11 to Hurricane Katrina to "Riverdance".

Counteroffensive: Approach the Bush-Hater wearing a t-shirt with Dubya's face all over it. Casually mention that you just LOVE our president and watch their nostrils flare. As they keep seething, talk about your infatuation with Karl Rove, and mention that you think that Dick Cheney is "cute". Laugh at reaction.

And it just keeps getting better from there. Read the whole thing.

Israel to Jews: Stay out of Sinai

The State of Israel, unlike another state we won't mention *coughEgyptcough*, is concernd for their citizens safety and wellfare. So when they heard that the "Egypt Mujahedeen" declared an all out war against the government and other American & Zionist agents of the like in Egypt, they issued a travel warning to its citizens not to go to Egypt.

Israel warned its citizens not to travel to Egypt's Sinai desert during the upcoming month of Jewish holidays, saying Sunday it has information that Arab militants planning attacks against Israelis are already located in the resort area.

The government's anti-terror unit issued a travel advisory on Saturday for the Sinai peninsula, which traditionally attracts tens of thousands of Israelis to its Red Sea beaches during Jewish holiday seasons. It also urged any Israelis already there to leave immediately.

The warning, which was effective immediately, said terror groups in Sinai were planning to kidnap Israeli tourists vacationing there.

Danny Arditi, an adviser to Prime Minister Ariel Sharon who leads the government's Counterterrorism Bureau, told Israel Radio on Sunday the terror alert was based on information that the terrorists planning attacks were already located in Sinai.

But is it all Egyptians doing this?

Egyptian security is aware of the activity of the militant cells and acting to thwart any attacks, Arditi said. He did not give the names of the Arab militant groups Israel believes are operating in the Sinai, although Israeli officials have said that al-Qaida is active there.

Mark Regev, spokesman for the Israeli Foreign Ministry, said there are concerns that Palestinian militants slipped into Egypt — joining other violent groups already in the area — following Israel's withdrawal from Gaza last month. After the pullout, border controls broke down for several days, allowing tens of thousands of Palestinians to move freely into Egypt without any security checks.

I am sure you all remember that and how cool everyone was about all the weapon smuggeling and selling that was going on in public.

And now we have Palestinians on the loose with weapons all over Sinai. That should end well.

Yay for Pan-Arabism!

"Sex Party mom" injured due to underage driver at wheel

Continuing the media conspiracy to scare me away from American Women all together, comes this latest nominee for "the Sociopathic mother of the Year award": Silvia Johnson. Not only was she the mom charged with having sex parties with her teenage son's friends where she slept with 5 of them, she is now the mom who got injured for letting her 14 year old daughter drive her car and flip it over, the day before the sentencing in her case. Fantastic.

A woman who authorities said had sex with high school boys so she could be a “cool mom” was injured while riding in an SUV that veered off an interstate a day before she was to be sentenced. The driver was a 14-year-old girl.

Sentencing for 41-year-old Silvia Johnson, who pleaded guilty to two counts of misdemeanor sexual assault and nine felony counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor, was postponed. A review hearing was set for Oct. 6. She could be sentenced to 58 years in prison.

The Arvada woman held parties for teenage boys almost weekly between October 2003 and October 2004, according to investigators. They said she gave drugs and alcohol to eight boys and had sex with five. Johnson told police she wanted to be known as a “cool mom,” authorities said.

On Sunday, Johnson was in a 2000 Jeep Liberty that rolled over after the teen drove off Interstate 25 and down an embankment, Colorado State Patrol Trooper Eric Wynn said.
Johnson and three other passengers — her 14-year-old daughter, 11-year-old son and a 12-year-old boy — were hospitalized with serious injuries, authorities said. Only the driver was wearing a seat belt and escaped serious injury, authorities said.

Hey, at least her daughter wore a seatbelt. That's responsible, right?

I don't know about you, but any woman who is willing to have sex with 12 year olds to be considerd "cool" is fine by me. The woman should be respected, adored and made a role model out of. I am sure her son's friends were not complaining. You know?

Nahh, never mind. Jail the crazy child-molesting wench!

Go Merkel

Merkel won the last seat in the Germany election, making her ahead of Shroeder Party by 4 seats. 4. Now that's what I call a majority!

Redo the election people. Merkel should win. She will actually do something to the german eceonomy, instead of owrrying all the freakin time about "being a counter-weight to America". Shroeder's time has passed. Give it up. Let Merkel be the Chancellor. She earned it!

This should scare Bush to seal the Borders

There is a rise in Latino converts to Islam in the USA. More and more latinos are jumping ship from Catholicism to Islam, due to reasons such as morality and return to family values.

It's all very interesting.

Gender Bending

If this is the future, I am not having children!

Suicide bombing in Oklahoma

Another Oklahoma bombing, suicide-bombing this time, where only the suicide-bomber got injured. And Islam was not involved. Sweet.

A University of Oklahoma student with “emotional difficulties” was identified Sunday as the person who apparently committed suicide near a packed football stadium using an explosive attached to his body.

The remains were believed to be those of Joel Henry Hinrichs III, according to Salvador Hernandez, special agent in charge of the FBI in Oklahoma.

University President David Boren has said the blast was an apparent suicide.

“We know that he has had what I would call emotional difficulties in the past,” Boren said. “There is certainly no evidence at this point which points to any other kind of motivation other than his personal problems.”

Life's little victories man. Life's little victories!

All good things come in threes

There is this guy at work whose wife just had triplets.3 Children. At the same. One right after the other. I keep getting this image of a Pez Dispenser whenever I think of it. Or one of those Tennis-ball-spitting-machines. It's all very mentally disturbing to me Image –wise, I don’t know why!

However, the dude, a first time father, now has 3 kids. 2 girls and a boy. People at work are calling it a miracle from God. I tend to call it a miracle from Pfizer. And it seems that I have it right: This doctor they went to was concerned that they may not have babies, so he gave them this drug, and Viola: Triplets. And all they wanted was one kid. All they planned on was one kid. Thanks modern science for fucking people over again. Thanks a lot.

And while they say all good things come in threes, the same doesn’t apply to children, cause , you see, kids cost money. He has to feed them, cloths them, buy baby food, toys and diapers, never sleep from all the crying they will subject him to. And then, and then they go to school. And since it’s Egypt, they have to go to a private school, which is expensive, multiply by 3, add tutoring expenses, new cloths, books, school supplies, more food, more toys, and never even mind high school, cars, college or getting married. ahhhh, the mind reels.

So, all of us at my company have collected money amongst ourselves and gave it to him, a way to congratulate him for "god's gift" to him, and a way to tell him that we know how fucked he will be. He joked how he will probably need us to make this a monthly habit. Ha, half what's said in jest, right? Fuck him. He ain't getting no more money from me to support his spawns. No one told him to take fertility drugs that moron. Personal responsibility motherfucker. You get no sympathy from me.

Actually, what he keeps getting from me is increased hostility. Everyday now I go to him and instead of saying good morning I am like "3? 3 fuckin kids? What the fuck is wrong with you? Isn’t the country overpopulated enough you bastard? Does the morgue need anymore dead bodies?", followed by a warning from me that he shouldn't even Kiss his wife any time soon, let alone fuck her. I tell him that he should probably keep his distance and just waive hi to her once a day from across the apartment and then proceed to sleep on the couch. Not even holding hands is allowed. You never know with a woman like that. She is giving the Napa valley a run for its money when it comes to fertility. You know?

Triplets. Jesus.

Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap

I have shitloads of work today, so there shall be no blogging. Sorry.

However, if any of you is html proficient, maybe you can help me out with something.

See that column on this page's left side? How can I shrink it in size? And If I can't shrink it in size, well, then how can I utilize it the same way I utilized the left one?

The first person to give me that answer gets my undying grattitude, which is worth, like, billions. I know some of you are like : Billions? Really??

To those I say "You damn right billions. And you know it's true because I said so!"

So get on with it people. Leave instructions in the comments section or send me an e-mail at sandmonkey@gmail.com.

See you all tommorow!