The Martian Bachelor Science Page

 Warning - Occasional Adult Content

!! This site BANNED at the University of Colorado !! (details)


The Society for the Preservation of Equal Rights for Men

Let's Think Martian!

The Quotes For Bachelors got too long, and so has been moved to its own page.
Please go there next (unless you're in a hurry).

The Bachelor Hall of Fame


Specific topics, in no particular order. Just jump in anywhere...
[External links open up in a new window, which can be closed in Windows with a Ctrl-W.]

Children of Happiness || Stages || Change || On-The-Job Sex
Love || Witches || Laundromats || Feelings || Classes || Client Sex
Rules || Monogamy || Boys || Conditions || Me || Beliefs || Games
Enemies of Love || Ladies || Marriage || Short Skirts || Choosing
Romance || Midlife Crisis || Friends || Bitches || Dating Services
Right Wing Psych || Communication || Sex || Date Fraud
Dad || TV || Speed Seduction || Wallflowers || Rock! || Divorce
Stars || 39 || Weeping || Feb 14th || Loosing || Crazies || Anger
Inhumanism || Chivalry || Poetics || Companionship || Structure
Humor || Music || Disclaimers || References
Complete Site Index & Search

Special Martian Reports
[GIF, .5k] ** Twenty-one Points for Women Who Want Their Man to "Open Up", by Jack Kammer
** Registering Women for the Draft, by Rich Zubaty (w/Albert Einstein)
** Why Chicks Dig Jerks, by Matthew Fitzgerald
** Women Who Kill/Rape Too Much and the Courts That Free Them
** Varieties of Feminism
** ET - Clone Home!
** Miss America `98/9 (`99/00 & later to be posted soon - yea right!)
** Mall Santa Accosted by Out of Control Woman
** Barbie writes to Santa

Coming soon: Cytherean mail-order brides! Oops, forgot - unlike Mars, Venus is uninhabitable, which is no doubt why they moved to Earth and took over.

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Other Good Martian Pages

Kiss an actual Martian, access the Martian Translator, and follow numerous other somewhat relevant fun links at the Little Green Martians site. HTML is obviously Martian for "hello".

There's a life size Martian for sale, along with other goodies, at The Mad Martian Museum of Modern Madness.

Intermission - What a waste of a good domain name.

Get your Martian weather report here.

And how come is a porn site??! (some non-profit...)


Other Bachelor Pages

Zed the zen priest's site is not strictly a bachelor site, though it's many essays are full of brilliant ideas, observations and associations for the advanced bachelor scientist. It was amazing to discover it and see how we'd independently come to essentially many of the same conclusions about so many things, though zed is a much more eloquent storyteller and he goes deeper and farther on many topics.

The Brotherhood of Eternal Bachelors sounds good, but these guys look downright dangerous. Pass the testosterone please, and fire when ready. (Has all the good links I didn't find first...)

Buck Bangalore's Better Bachelor Living has some kind of a retro/hip/flashy style, in case you missed his guide to girlfriends under the Classes page.

He doesn't yet realize he's a Martian, no doubt because he's too young, but the creator of the "Chicks Suck" website shows all the proper signs.

It's impossible to be a bachelor and not also be a Man, so be sure to check out Man's Life -- if only because they're so damned fond of these here pages. Lot's of great guy stuff there.

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Must-read for Men: Conception by Deception, by Tracy Quan.

Must-read #2: A Man's Right to Choose, by Cathy Young.
(The first page of letters in response to the piece also make worthwhile reading.)
Must-read #2½: Ronald D. Burke's informative article on this same topic.

Similar to zed the zen priest's pages in dealing a lot with feminism, but evidently also a bachelor and having some first-hand material on the consequences, is Think Bomb's site in lovely Australia.

I'm sorry to point you to this page, because I think we lost a bachelor -- but got some pages (or the beginnings at least) in the exchange. It's like now that this guy is married he's suddenly an expert on bachelorhood -- at the level of sit-com stereotypes. Sheesh, it's even in his girlfriend/wife's account. There are one or two other pages out there devoted to the notion that what a bachelor really needs is a mommy to cook, clean, and do laundry for him. But I'll spare you the agony...

It's not exactly in the same vein as the rest of these -- except in name -- but you might want to cheer up Mike Kelley by giving his Grumpy Bachelor page a try.

And, finally, this list wouldn't be complete without a link to Cosmopolitan Magazine's Ken Doll / Earth Bachelor of the Month. One can only hope they're getting equal pay for equal modelling work... Just kidding.

Speaking of magazines, here's one every bachelor will certainly love...


Other Related and Semi-Related Sites

[ 2.5k GIF: Vote Male! ] (Men invented the I-Net because women's interests took over TV...)

Balance || Choice || Defense || Man's Life || Per's MANifesto
Backlash || Vera || No Ma'am || Voices || M & R || Equality
W.A.S. || Issues || Patriarchy || Paternity || Zohrab's Links
Rights || Menstuff || Free Men || Men's Room || Nice Guys
Rich Zubaty || FAQ || SPSMM || M+M || EveryMan
Men's Center || Dude Power || N.O.M. || ManKind || AASP
Activism || Deep Water || Health || Media


Worship Pages

The latest research verifies that those who worship regularly are healthier and live longer than mere heathens, so be sure to return often.

The Dark Brunette Worship Page is just plain adoration of hominid fertility goddesses, nothing more.

Others being worked on...

[ The Auburn Haired Worship Page ]
[ The Strawberry-Blonde Worship Page ]
[ The Black Haired Worship Page ]
[ The Light Brunette Worship Page ]
[ The Polka Dots Worship Page ]
[ The Women-In-Glasses Worship Page ]
[ The Women-In-Headgear Worship Page ]


Credits, Counts, and Misc Closing Comments

Many thanks to those who have contributed in any way to these pages.

My logo, Curly, was sampled and adapted for use here from the liner notes to the CD compilation "WipeOut XL" (Astralwerks). [ Even more info ] I understand this is also a Sony Playstation and PC CD-ROM game. "Slow minds will fear it..." If you're into such things, I'll heartily encourage you to get a copy because it's some of the best Martian music out there, and I'm hoping if I say that they all won't come down on me for trademark or copyright transgressions. Heck, just about everything here has been heavily sampled...
P.S. - the eye protection is necessary because Earth is 2/3 rds the distance of Mars from the Sun, so the latter is more than twice as bright here.


[GIF picture, 1.8k] These pages are an official part of The Great American Metaphysical Circus.

That's all, folks.

Thanks for instructing your computer to clone my bytes.