ASC Rules

Political Pickle

November 21st, 2005

Yesterday evening on my way home from work I thought about my political affiliation (a few factors during the stay caused this introspection). I find myself in a pickle. I’m still a registered Republican and for the time being I’m not prepared to change my party affiliation. In many respects and political arenas, I prefer dems or liberals and in others I prefer republicans. I decided to give my top 10 recent public figures (not in preferential order):

1) Antonin Scalia - Chastise me all you want, but this guy is plain brilliant and absolutley hilarious.
2) Condi - Good lord is she sassy, smart and I like her politics
3) Bill Clinton - C’monnnnnn, what’s not to like about him other than his poor management style?
4) McCain - He’s just that good that I don’t even need to say anything else
5) Barack Obama - Fantastic speaker
6) Nixon - Silence. Read a book, he was great (aside from the scandal)
7) Reagan - It’s Reagan. I don’t think it’s possible to exclude him from any “top 10″ list
8 Gore - I dig him
9) Rummy - My one aspiriation is to wince like this man.
10) Sen. Byrd - In his lunacy, we trust.

Rams vs. Badgers?

November 18th, 2005

Bucky VS. The Ram

Let’s Get Ready To Rumbleeeeeeeeeeee……

Oh yes, ladies and gents….finally, a chance for my beloved Rams to destroy the Badgers in something. They’ll be competing against each other in the Paradise Jam. There’s a chance that they may not even face each other (although I hope they do). As long as the Rams come out ranked higher, I’ll be happy.

*I won’t lie, Bucky looks sort of tough (and cool) and The Ram looks sorta lame. But, whatever.

Coolidge Quote

November 18th, 2005

During my senior year of High School a truly great man gave me a piece of paper with the following quotation on it:

Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan ‘press on’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race. Calvin Coolidge

Since that time, this same piece of paper has hung in the same relative spot above each of the desks that I used throughout my 4 years of college and above the desk in my home since I have graduated. At the time it was a rather remarkable situation and the quote with the accompanying support from the gentleman who gave it to me was rather inspiring. Often times I have looked to this piece of paper (which is now rather shoddy considering all the times it has moved with me) for inspiration. Throughout my career as a college debater turned political hack as I ran for APDA President, during stressful fellowship application periods, during the illness that plagued me the beginning of senior year, during periods of intense stress and when I slip into an existential “funk” this quote has come to encapsulate my standard response - Press On. This evening after arriving home well beyond 4AM, I found myself gazing at this quote as I pounded away on my latest piece of academic writing. I feel recharged.

Truth be told, I’ve always come out on top of almost any situation that I have gotten myself into. This has very little to do with any natural or nurtured talents that I possess, but rather, I contend that it’s the end result of the motto that has become so dear to me - “Press On.”

On The Horizon…
Triathlon training
Law School mumbo jumbo

Review: Luxe (a.k.a. 2686)

November 18th, 2005

Wednesday night I hit up the club 2686, formerly known as Luxe and for some odd reason still referred to by homos as Luxe.

Mike's Danger I went with my good friend Mike, who’s quite the badboy/notorious homo, although despite his omnipresence, he manages to live a reasonably drama free life. It’s almost shocking.

Reasons Not To Go:
1) Bartenders are not attractive (*gasp* they even have some female bartenders)
2) There isn’t separation of areas so all the music is the same throughout the place
3) Long Island gays are primarily ugly, except for a select few
4) The drinks suck

Reasons To Go:
1) It’s convenient
2) Beer is cheap
3) You can smoke inside the club (I’m not a smoker, but for smokers this is a major advantage)
4) Because nothing is more enjoyable than watching bitchy long islanders argue in the parking lot
5) You get to talk to a shitload of Ivy League grads who are jobless (which, I just relish in)

Verdict: Don’t make this a staple of your social life, but it’s worth hitting up once every few months.

More Evil Than My Boyfriend

November 18th, 2005

Darth Cheney The only man more evil than my boyfriend is Vice President Dick Cheney. Although, I use the word man very loosely, since I fear that he is more machine than man, now. Regardless, I still think he’s a better leader than Bush.

“I’m embarrassed the United States has a vice president for torture.” - Admiral Turner, Former CIA Director

Mac SE

November 18th, 2005

Mac SE

Thanks to the folks at engadget, we have a pic of a guy who brought in his Mac SE (17 years old) to one of Apple’s Genius Bars. Simply, awesome.

FDS Abandons Point Scale

November 17th, 2005

I’m going to be recording my podcast/rant on the FDS’s decision to abandon the point scale and dino relations. You’ll have to excuse the delay in my response, but upon hearing the news, I felt a little like our president…

Laugh A Little

November 16th, 2005

I’m cranky and I have a ton of work to do. So, there probably won’t be much legitimate posting today except for an ever expanding post of funny pics.

Hoping NDT will respond to me on the One-Homo post. Also hoping that others will start taking part in polls, I mean at the very least, come on people.

Also, I’m looking for some direction as to content for the blog, features, etc. I’ve already begun my plan for a weekly 15 minute podcast. I intend to take up one issue each week and just rant about it for 15 minutes. This week’s podcast will be on the state of APDA and the FDS’s decision to abandon the low-point scale - so, stay tuned…

I would really like for people to suggest things for me to blog on. Please either email me or contact me through the “Contact Me” page.

Tubby Anyone who knows Burke is aware that he is notorious for nicknaming people. My nickname is Tubby. Other awesome nicknames that Burke has assigned to people (I’d like to expand this list, so if you recall any others, please let me know):

1) Prison Gay - An extremely gay kid, who hooked up with lots of boys on campus and yet still insisted that he was straight
2) Fat Julia Stiles - A fat girl, who looks exactly like a fatter Julia Stiles
3) Gay Brian - We had two brian’s on the team. One was gay, one was straight.
4) Dutch Courage - An englishman that used to annoy Burke during his stay in New Zealand


November 15th, 2005

Jarhead Jarhead’s the kind of movie that you can see once in the theatres. Not think about it for a year or so and then stumble across it on HBO one Friday night at like 2AM and watch a random part of it for like 20 minutes until you fall asleep. It’s not the kind of movie where you go “WOW! That was amazing!” Although, you will most likely say something like, “WOW! Jake Gyllenhaal is hot!”

The most important lesson that I learned from watching this movie is why so many guys in the military are opposed to having gays in the military. The short answer is that it will ruin all their fun. Seriously, this movie is chock full of homoeroticism: masturbation chat, half naked boys, shower scenes, more masturbation chat, hugging, and what is humorously referred to as a desert fuck (you’ll have to see the movie to find out what this actually is). Apparently, soldiers pass the time by acting gay, so of course they don’t want real gays around. I completely understand how it would ruin their fun.

Reasons to see the movie:
1) It will help ease you into viewing Brokeback Mountain (aka: gay cowboy movie)
2) Jake Gyllenhaal shirtless (a lot), Jake Gyllenhaal dancing in a g-string, Jake Gyllenhaal with a shaved head, Jake Gyllenhaal in the shower, Jake Gyllenhaa……
3) War sucks as evinced in this movie
4) Jamie Foxx plays a hilarious bastard of a sergeant

Jake BodJake Bod 2Jake ACLU

Tranny Paradise

November 14th, 2005

Question: What do Robert Downey Jr. and a random Banladeshi businessman have in common?
Answer: They both love transvestites.

Bangkok Apparently a gang of transvestites in Thailand is spitting sedatives down their victims throat and them robbing them. This is definiitely an odd story, but what’s even odder are some phrases from the article:

“Members of a Thai transvestite gang have confessed to hiding strong sedatives in their mouths and spitting them down the throats of victims during deep kissing. “

Isn’t anyone curious why this super strong sedative doesn’t affect the trannies? Like, how can the article possibly just leave it at that. Are trannies just immune to sedatives? What kind of sedative is this? And, why are they spitting during a “deep kiss.” Typically, that doesn’t involve spitting.

“The confession came from three attractive transvestites arrested in Bangkok last week. Police say they’d robbed a Bangladeshi businessman of more than $7,300 in cash and valuables”

Uhhh. Did you notice the word attractive? What the fuck is that doing in there? Is the write a tranny lover too? Or, perhaps he’s trying to justify how these trannies tricked this Bangladeshi in the first place? Look man, we don’t need to know whether or not they were attractive. The fucking guy was Bangladeshi. And while we’re out, what the hell was he doing with $7,300 worth of stuff. The guy’s Banladeshi!

A police lieutenant colonel has this warning for tourists: “Don’t rush to kiss a stranger on the mouth or you will end up in a deep sleep.”

Is this an actual warning? Shouldn’t the police officer give at least some details. Such as: stay away from tranny bars, stay away from placese where Eddie Murphy and Robert Downey Jr. have/are visiting, don’t fucking kiss a transvestite, don’t bring a group of transvestites back to your room, etc…