Which of my hot winter sporting events would you most like to see at the next Winter Olympic Games, to be held in Mypants, 2010?
Help me choose.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006, 2:51pm
I recently "reconnected" with a "friend" I hadn't "seen" since the early 90's. Disappointingly, she was nowhere near as acrobatic as she was in my "memory." This got me thinking: Barney Stinson, what else did you vigorously enjoy in the 90's that, when revisited, turns out to suck donkey barrels? I'm not too proud to share. We all have embarrassing stories.
The film "Reality Bites" -- Not as cool as you think it was. And neither were you.
Flannel shirts -- Let's take all our disaffected, rebellious teenage hotties and urge them to dress like homeless lumberjacks and not bathe. That's a great idea.
Figure Skating -- Sure, Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding made us THINK it was all catfights and ill-conceived thuggery, but as anyone who tried to slog through the Winter Olympics will know, figure skating is unbearable.
The issue of Rolling Stone with Rene Elizondo holding Janet Jackson's breasts -- Justin Timberlake did it so much better.
Vanilla Ice -- Ice is actually bad enough that he's come all the way around to being enjoyable again, but only ironically.
The Toronto Blue Jays -- Back to back World Series pennants from a team built around Pat Borders, Candy Moldonado and Kelly Gruber? It really happened.
Those crappy "American Pie" movies - Ooh, band camp, band camp! Little did we know this catchphrase would mutate into a pop-culture pandemic that we are still stuck with seven frickin' years later. Note to producers: Please stop. You're hurting America.
Furby -- Furby couldn't learn. Furby didn't understand what you were saying. Furby couldn't love. Goddammit, this still pisses me off.
Spin Doctors -- What could possibly cooler than wearing a ski cap while jamming out to Two Princes? How about wearing two so you don't have to hear it?
"Saved By the Bell" -- Just kidding. "Saved by the Bell" is awesome.