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The Mad Professors Dictionary

I’m actually chuckling as I am dictating this, because I just received an e-mail from a frequent reader who asked:


Hey Mad Professor, what planet are you from?  I’ve read all of your articles, and I like your sense of humor, but I have a hard time figuring out just what you mean sometimes. 

One moment you sound like a Harvard professor, and at other times you sound more like a mobster.  What’s up with that? You talk like some college-educated gangster.  When I read some of your articles, I have NO idea what you are talking about.  Is that really how you talk, and if so, can you explain the definitions of some of your stuff.  Do the casino guys that you hang around with all talk like you?

Well, dear and gentle reader, this is exactly how I talk.  Okay, I’ve taken out the stuttering, slobbering, and as much profanity as my conscience will allow, but this is pretty much it.

Yes, I have a bit of a sense of humor, and I occasionally use some colorful language, but it does come naturally.  I could blame it on something in the water or in the air, but in reality, I think that it’s caused by the scent of lust and money.

I was originally going to call this article, “What Planet Are You From?” because of that readers question.  As far as what planet I am actually from…well…let’s just say that it’s not even in this particular galaxy, and my home-planet is in the far, far reaches of this ever-expanding universe, and remains uncharted by earthly astronomers.  That certainly explains a lot, doesn’t it!

So, I have listed a bunch of words and phrases, which may not yet be accepted in the mainstream of “proper” society.  You have to understand that some of the guys that I spend time with have been under federal indictment more times than most people have been inside a church, if you know what I mean. Some of these words are theirs, while others were crafted by craps dealers, casino executives, and other assorted denizens of the casino sub-culture.

 So let’s jump right in to the Mad Professor's Dictionary:

(Items in blue courtesy of Alleged-Mafia-Site.com.   Click the link to see more!)

ACCIDENT RECONSTRUCTION TEAM - trying to re-assemble all the players bets in the Place boxes after someone scorches the dice and messes everything up.

ADMINISTRATION - the upper-level power structure of an organized family or group of like-minded individuals, composed of the boss, underboss, and consigliere (advisor or counsellor).

ALL-DAY SUCKER - Someone who bets lots of prop bets and non-winning hop bets, or in the alternative, a very nice looking girl who likes “Mr. Slurpee”.   Also see “honkin’ on Bobo”.

AMERICAN PIE - a warm and sweet girl.

ASSOCIATE - an “almost-there”; someone who works with and for wiseguys, but who hasn't been sworn in as a member of the Family.  It can also mean a high-ranking, but non-Italian, man of honor.

ACE - a very good, trusted friend, often from childhood.

ASS OUT - without money; broke.

BART SIMPSON - a tourist who wears socks, sandals and a disposable camera.

BEEF - A complaint or disagreement within the organization, usually discussed during a sit down with higher-level family members.

BIG EARNER - Someone who makes a lot of money for the family.

BIGGIE-SIZED - A pejorative term for a large woman.  As in, “Looks like she biggie-sized her fries a few too many times.”

BOLT ONS - fake breasts or artificial implants.

BOOKS, THE - euphemism for membership in the Family, since nothing is written down. When there is availability, the books are "opened". When no one is being "made", the books are "closed".

BORGATA - a crime family.  Also, the name of the newest Boyd Resort that is currently under construction in the Marina District of Atlantic City.  The casino is very close to Harrah’s and Trump’s Marina, in the “H” Tract, a former undeveloped garbage-dump/land-fill site.

BOSS - The head of a Family; he is the only one who gives permission to "whack" or "make" someone, and he makes a percentage of money from all business operations.

BOSS OF BOSSES; or CAPO DI TUTTI CAPI - While no one proclaims himself the Boss of Bosses anymore, the press awards this title to whomever they feel is the boss of the strongest of the five families of New York.

BREEDER - pregnant woman

BROKEN - Demoted in rank; "knocked down".

BUCKLE-BUSTER - a Hard-10 in craps, or a very nice looking girl.

BURN - To murder; aka- break an egg, clip, do a piece of work, hit, grease, ice, pop, put out a contract on, or whack.

BUTTON - a "made" member; soldier, wiseguy, or goodfella.

BAIL ON - to leave or abandon.  As in, "You're not going to bail on me, are you?"

BATMAN & ROBIN - inseparable. May also mean that one person is the leader and the other is the sidekick.  As in, "Those two are so Batman and Robin."

BEAN COUNT - to stare at breasts, usually in cold weather.   As in, "We just walked through the mall, bean counting."

BEARD - In sports-betting a beard is someone who places bets for a bookie, or for wiseguys who want to camouflage their high-level betting activities.   Beards will spread bets around town so that the betting line doesn’t move as quickly.  It also means a straight woman married to or involved with a gay man. The gay man may be in the public eye and may have a “beard” to hide the fact that he is gay.

BENJAMIN - a $100 bill. 

BIG DOG or DAWG - the best at something.

BOGART - to hog or keep something without sharing.

BOOK - to leave quickly. As in, "When the cops arrived, we booked it."
 
BREAK CAMP - to leave a party, or to indicate that you are ready to leave some place.  As in, “Let’s break camp boys…piss on the campfire and call in the hounds, ‘cause this hunt is over.”

BUFFY - a muscular female. Origin: the movie/ television series Buffy, the Vampire Slayer.  As in, "Buffy over there could kick your ass." 

CAT BURYING SHIT, AS BUSY AS A - to indicate that someone is busy on another project and won’t be available. As in, “Listen, Joey’s as busy as a cat burying shit, so you’ll have to use somebody else on that job.”
 
COOK - One's wife

CAFONE - A phony or embarrassment to himself or others.  Also, “gavone”.

CAPO - a ranking member of a Family who heads a crew of soldiers; a skipper.

CHASED - To be banished and barred from associating or doing business with any made members. The punishment is merciful in that the offender is spared death.

CHIN-RAIL - a tall girl with large breasts.

CRUISE-SHIP JUST DOCKED - A large influx of new players who walk up to a crap table. 

CHECK-CUM-JOE - a welfare-recipient who usually plays at the casino using rent money.  Near the end of the month, you’ll hear them ask each other if their welfare-check has arrived yet.   As in, “Check-cum-joe?”

CHAPS, SPURS AND A RIDING CROP - When talking about a wild party girl who definitely DOES NOT own a horse.

CLEANING -Taking the necessary steps (driving around, stopping in various locations) to avoid being followed.

CLOCK -To keep track of someone's movements and activities.

COMARE - a mistress; goumada

COME IN - To go see the boss when summoned.

COMMISSION, THE - the "ruling body", typically a panel made up of the bosses of the five New York-based families (Gambino, Genovese, Lucchese, Colombo, Bonanno) sometimes with representatives from other families, such as Chicago, Kansas City, Cleveland, Philadelphia, etc.

COMPARE - a crony, close pal, buddy, or a respected elder advisor.

CONSIGLIERE - The counselor or highly-ranked advisor who guides and advises the boss, and handles disputes within the lower ranks.

CONVERTIBLE - a topless pool or topless beach area.

COOLER - A fresh pair of dice brought in to “cool off” a hot craps shooter.

CREW, POSSE, TRIBE, WARRIORS, SQUAD, SOLDIERS, PLATOON, or THE BOYS - members of a social group who sometimes conduct business and other activities together.

CUGINE - A young tough-guy looking to move up the ranks.

CHARLIES - breasts. Origin: Frank Sinatra and the Rat Pack.

CHICKEN HEAD - a female. Sometimes used to refer to an attractive or unattractive female, depending on the context.

CHING or KA-CHING - money.

CHIQUITA - a female friend.

C-NOTE - a $100 bill. Origin: the Roman numeral for 100 is C.

COLORS - gang attire, usually colored to differentiate between gangs.

CROTCH-ROCKET - any sport motorcycle or replica of a race motorcycle, usually Japanese in origin.

CUTS - muscles.  As in, "He’s got good cuts." 

DINGOS BREAKFAST - a yawn, a leak and a good look around; i.e. no time for breakfast.

DOB SOMEBODY - inform on somebody, like a fluorescent bingo-dabber or dauber.

DOG’S BALLS, STANDS OUT LIKE A - obvious, or very noticeable.

DRUM - information, tip-off ("I'll give you the drum") to send a signal.

DOUBLE-WIDE TRAILER - a woman with a large behind.  Also see “Too much junk in the trunk.”

DIESEL - muscular.

DIVA - goddess, queen; literally "first woman."

DOG - an unattractive person. ("She’s such a dog!"), or a friend, where the word is usually used with a greeting. As in "What's up, dawg?"

DROP SCIENCE - to share knowledge or information.

DROP THE KIDS OFF AT THE POOL - to defecate.

DUCATS - show or concert tickets.

EARNER - Someone whose expertise is making money.

ELLIS ISLAND REFUGEE - a non-English speaking casino player.

EMPTY SUIT - Someone with nothing to offer who tries to hang around with mobsters.

EAR-HUSTLER - someone who enjoys listening to and spreading gossip. 

EAST BUTT-F*CK - inconveniently far away. Also used is the less offensive “east bumble-f*ck”.  As in “I don’t want to drive all the way out to east butt-f*ck." 

EBOLA - any sickness.

ELLEN - a lesbian. Origin: the name of lesbian actress/comedian Ellen Degeneres.

FENCE - Someone with worldwide outlets to liquidate swag.

FIRING THE ACK ACK GUN - technique for smoking heroin by dipping the tip of a cigarette in heroin, and favored by young Asian gangs who play high-stakes baccarat at some of the big Las Vegas Strip casinos.

FREEZE, FREEZE OUT, FROZEN OUT - Lots of bets on the craps layout without a payoff before 7-Out, or to be shut out from betting before the start of a horse race.

FRESH CAKE IN YOUR KICK - a large amount of newly earned or won money in your pocket.

FRIEND OF MINE - Introduction of a third person who is not a member of the Family, but who can be vouched for by a Family member.

FRIEND OF OURS - Introduction of one made member to another.

FRONT-END ALIGNMENT - a boob-job, where artificial implants are used, or where a females pectoral muscles are “lifted”.  Also see, “Bolt-Ons”.

FUN PARTS, FUN ZONE, PLAY AREA - part of the female anatomy.

FULL METAL JACKET - wearing a bulletproof vest, also known as “wearin’ Kevlar”.

FOUR D's - the favorite activities of moneyed Generation-X’ers and Gen-Y under-25’s who frequent the Hardrock and Palms Casinos: ie. drinkin', druggin', datin' and dinin'.

FACE TIME - a period of time during which one is talking with someone face-to-face (as opposed to over the phone, via e-mail, etc.), or to ask for personal time to speak to the skipper of a crew.

FADED - to cover a bet or action.

FIELDING GROUNDERS - to search the ground for already-smoked yet salvageable cigarette butts, or to look for cashable tickets that have been accidentally discarded in the sports-book or race-book area of the casino. This is usually performed by the homeless.  As in "Hey Tommy, isn't that your dad fielding grounders over there?"

FIGJAM - stands for, "F*ck I'm good; just ask me". Nickname for people who have a high opinion of themselves.

FITTED - dressed well, and also means to be carrying a weapon.

FIVE-C NOTE - a $500 bill.

FIVE-CARD - a Line-of-Credit in the casino that has a five-figure spending limit of at least $10,000 and up to $99,999.  A “Low-5” would mean $10K to $35K; a “Mid-5” would mean $35K to $65K; and a “High-5” would mean $65K to $100K.  The next step is a “SIX-CARD” which starts at $100K.

FIVE-O, 5-0 - the police. Origin: the TV show Hawaii Five-0.  As in, "We better leave, somebody just called five-oh."

411, THE - information.  As in, "I've got the 411 on the new guy in town."
 
FRONT - a cover-up, disguise, or deception.  As in, "The car is only a front on how much money he really has," or, "They use the toy-store as a front for their operation”.

GAG A MAGGOT - a bad smell.

GRUNT - a working stiff.

GOTTI - a guy who over-dresses and wants to look like a mobster but really isn’t.  Some casino Floor-Supervisors and (unconnected) Pit Bosses dress this way.

GARBAGE DUMP, or SEWER - What casino waitresses call the drink rail on a craps table.

G-ROCK or rarely, a K-ROCK – a $1000 chip

G-SHOT - A large roll of money placed on a single bet.  For example, a player will throw down a wad of cash on the Field bet in craps.  The dealer will say, “Money plays to the table maximum.”  If the amount of money looks large enough, the box-man will turn to the Floor Supervisor and say, “G-Shot in action.” 

G-MAX - hitting a craps tables $1000 maximum limit with your bets.  As in, “Sorry Mr. M, you’ve G-Maxed on the 5 & 9, you can’t press them any further.”

G-NOTE - One Thousand dollars or a $1000 dollar bill, also known as a “GINO”

GATT - a firearm.  As in, "I'll pull my gatt and pop a cap in your ass." 

GET A PLACE READY - to find and prepare a burial site.

GERONIMO - alcoholic beverage (especially wine) mixed with a barbiturate sleeping pill.  A favorite night-cap of casino workers who are having a hard time adapting to their new shift.

GIFT - a bribe, sometimes for a juror, law-enforcement official, judge, or politician, etc.

GIVE A PASS - to grant a reprieve.

GLACIER, SQUATTER, or RAIL-MONKEY - Someone who camps out at one spot at the craps table for extended periods of time.

GOOOOOOOAALLLLL, or, HE SHOOTS…HE SCORES - said when a player throws the dice into the opposite end of the table and knocks down all of the dealers “working stacks” of chips.

GOING - About to be whacked or sent off to jail.

GOIN’ BROKE ON THE INSTALMENT PLAN - A choppy table that isn’t yielding any profit for anyone other than the casino.

GOING SOUTH - Stealing, passing money under the table, or going on the lam.

GREEN-CARD SHARK - a high-rolling foreign player who has overstayed the time allowed on his immigration visa.

GROUND CONTROL - a craps table box-man.

GET MEDIEVAL - to beat or attack, usually severely. Origin: brought to popularity by the movie Pulp Fiction.  As in, "I'm going to get medieval on his ass!"

GET THE BITCH ON - to become angry at and yell at someone.

GET THE BITCH - to receive a “three-strikes, you’re out” conviction for three felony convictions leading to a life-sentence.

GHETTO - of poor quality or poor looking.

GHETTO BIRD - a police helicopter using a spotlight.

GLADIATOR SCHOOL - A state or federal penitentiary or correctional facility.

GO POSTAL - to perpetrate acts of premeditated violence, or to go insane. The term originated from the cases of United States Postal Service employees who, due to job stress or other traumatic influence, have murdered co-workers on the job, usually with a firearm.

GRAPE SMUGGLERS - tight-fitting male swimming briefs. Commonly referred to as "Speedo's".  As in, "Why do overweight European dudes always wear grape smugglers to the beach?"

GRAZE - to eat.  Usually used to refer to party food, since it is generally laid out on a table, or to move around town, eating each course from a different restaurant, much like a cow moves about the meadow.

GREEN APPLE QUICK STEP - diarrhea.  Usually acquired after eating at a lower-end buffet like Circus Circus, Boardwalk or Bourbon Street.

GRILL - teeth.  As in, "That chick is cute, but she's got a bad grill.”

GRIZZLEY CHICKEN - ugly skinny girl.

GUAM - any location far away. Subjective, usually used to refer to anywhere it would be a hassle to travel to.  As in, "That's way out in Guam!" 

HALF G - $500

HAVE A MELTDOWN - to become extremely angry.

HIGH MAINTENANCE - requires a lot of work. Generally referring to a relationship in which the other person is needy or greedy. As in, "He considers beautiful girls too high-maintenance." 

HOOK ME UP -  to ask for something.

HOOVER - to clean something up.  Origin: the Hoover brand of vacuum cleaners.

HOSE BEAST - an undesirable female, either by her appearance or personality.  Origin: the movie Wayne's World.  As in, "Get away from me, you psychotic hose beast!" 

HOSER - a moron, dim-wit, loser, or person of questionable lineage.   As in, "Take off, you hoser!".   Originally a Canadian-native term for people who would steal gas from someone’s car by means of a short rubber hose that you suck on to get the fuel flowing into a gas-can.  From the constant ingestion of raw gas and fumes, the hoser would become brain-damaged.

HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM - a payment dispute at a craps table.   When the Pit Supervisor calls up to the eye-in-the-sky (surveillance) to get a video playback of a bet and payout sequence.

HARD-ON WITH A SUITCASE - a lawyer.  The feminine version is called “Half a Hard-On with a Suitcase”.

HEAT-SEEKING MISSILE - part of the male anatomy.

HIGH BEAMS - erect nipples.

HONKIN’ ON BOBO - To receive oral stimulation.  As in, “She really likes honkin’ on Bobo”, or in the alternative, “She really likes “Mr. Slurpee”.

HOT PLACE - A location suspected of being the target of law enforcement surveillance.

HOUSE FEE or HOUSE PIECE - vig (vigorish) or commission charged by the casino.

“IE” or “Y” - on the end of any persons first name.  Usually a term of endearment between friends, such as adding a “y” to the end of “Paul”, as in “Pauly”.

JACKED UP - stabbed, attacked or car-jacked.  Also means stopped by or questioned by police, Customs, FBI or ATF (Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms Enforcement) officials.

JETHRO & CLETUS - people who fit in more at Green Acres or with Boss Hog, Bo and Luke Duke-types than they do with people who bathe on a regular basis.

JOHN-BOY’ED - When someone’s face gets covered with spots of blood or other semi-solids, making him look like "John Boy" on the Waltons.  As in, "I hit that guys nose and I got John boy'ed by the splash, big time."

JOLLY RANCHER CANDY - Well-worn casino dice.

JUNIOR G-MAN - overly detail-oriented Floor Supervisor or Pit Boss in a casino, where everything has to be done by the book.

JUNIOR G-MAN BADGE  - a State law-enforcement officials badge, as opposed to a federal law-enforcement badge.   An insult, when used in conversation with a person of authority.

JOINT, THE - prison; aka- the can, the pen, go away to college.

J. PAUL GHETTO - a low-roller who tries to impress others with large bets on the Prop or Hop bets, but soon busts out (is broke).

KITE - a private note sent to someone or received by someone.

KETCHUP IN YOUR MAYO - a red $5 casino chip in the middle of a stack of white $1 chips.  The craps stickman will usually say that to a base-dealer so that a floor supervisor doesn’t hear it or see the oversight.  It’s better than saying, “Clean up your dirty stacks.”

K-NOTE or a K - a $1000 bill or one-thousand dollars.

LIKE THE GOOSE - of good quality. Also used to describe something that one is proud of. Origin: term is an allusion to the story of the goose that lays golden eggs. A good earner for the family.

LIPSTICK LESBIAN - A very feminine woman who enjoys the intimate pleasure of other women.  May be recently divorced, and temporarily turned-off of male company.

LOVE BUG - A sexually transmitted disease.

LOW-RIDERS - Saggy breasts.

MADE - To be sworn into LCN; aka- "straightened out", or to get your button.

MAKE A MARRIAGE - Bring two parties together for legitimate or illegitimate issues or business.

MATTRESSES, HITTING THE, TAKING TO THE - Going to war with a rival group or gang.

MEAT EATER - A corrupt cop.

MEGA C - a $10,000 bill, or a bundle of one-hundred $100 bills.

METH MONSTER - A super-hyper person.  Also, a person who has a violent reaction to methamphetamine.

MINIVAN MOM - A woman with several kids.

MOON UNITS - The dark aureole part of a woman’s breasts, which are visible through her shirt or blouse.

MOUSTACHE PETES - Old fashioned or older generation Mafiosi.

MUFFIN MUNCHER - A woman who enjoys the intimate pleasure of other women.   Also see, “Ellen”.

MAD HATTER - someone who sells drugs and other illegal substances.

MARINATE - to sit around waiting for something to happen.

McGYVER - Using creative methods to solve a very difficult situation or problem, or to jury-rig a solution. Origin: the television show McGyver.

MONET - A girl who is attractive from a distance, but unattractive up close, similar to the famous painted art work of Claude Monet.  As in "She is such a Monet."

NICE CABOOSE ON THAT TRAIN - The attractive rear-most part of the female anatomy.

NOSE WIDE OPEN - losing a lot of money. 

NUT, THE - “The bottom line"; the net profit figure or “carrying cost” of a project, or your total monthly living expenses.

NUTRITIONAL SUPPLEMENT - semen

OFF THE RECORD - An action taken without the knowledge or approval of the Family.

OJ - to stab or kill.  Origin: the double murder trial of football star O.J. Simpson.  As in "Go ahead, OJ them."  In the alternative, “OJ” is the dice call when a “3” and “2” (5) appear in craps.

ON THE RECORD - An action sanctioned by the Family.

ON ONE - to act out of the ordinary, as if one were on medication.

PEBBLE IN MY SHOE - a serious “problem” of the highest priority that has to be taken care of immediately.  This phrase is never used lightly or in jest.

PFD (PERSONAL FLOATATION DEVICE) - a padded bra

PISSIN’ BLOOD - A bad loss at the tables.  Originally derived from the results of a bad beating.

PORTABLE AIR-CONDITIONER - A drink that you take from one casino on your way to another place.

PUT INK TO PAPER - To sign a contract or agreement, or in the alternative, to reach a “hand-shake agreement” which is stronger than a “paper” contract due to the character of the two parties that are doing the agreeing.

RAKE IN - to earn, usually money.  As in, "We raked in five hundred thousand off of that concert!"

RED TIDE - menstrual period.

RELISH IN YOUR KETCHUP - a green $25 casino chip in a dealers working stack of red $5 chips. “Mayo” (white) denotes $1 chips; “Ketchup” (red) denotes $5 chips; “Relish” (green) denotes $25 chips; “Licorice” (black) denotes $100 chips; “Barney” (purple) denotes $500 chips; while “Pumpkin” (orange) denotes $1000 chips.

RIDE THE COTTON PONY - to menstruate.  As in, "She's riding the cotton pony this week."

RIDE THE WHITE HORSE - to use an illegal white powder stimulant (e.g. cocaine, crystal meth, crank, etc.)

ROAD DAWG - a travel companion or best friend.  As in, "He's my road-dawg." 

ROCKET FUEL -  coffee.

ROLL DOG - a good or best friend, or travel/“roll” (ride) companion. 

RO-SHAM-BO - a competition employed to determine the ownership of an object when ownership is in dispute. The two parties kick each other in the groin until one falls to the ground. The person left standing wins the competition and the ownership of the object.  As in, "I'll ro-sham-bo you for the last beer." 

RUN WITH THE WORLD -  to do what is popular, follow the crowd.

SEAGULL, or, SHIT-HAWK - a dishonest craps player who tries to swoop in and take your winning bet when the craps-dealer puts it near you on the layout.  It is usually done by a player standing on either side of you.   Some “rounders” try to do this to unsuspecting or distracted players, new players or intoxicated tourists.  Also, a player who is always complaining and squawking like a flock of seagulls.

SEE-THRU CURTAINS - A woman whom is wearing a sheer or see-through blouse or dress.

SELF-CLEANING OVEN - feminine douche.

SERENGHETTOS - A cheap knock-off version of “Serengeti” sunglasses. 

STAKE-HORSE - Someone who will back your casino-play or provide a bankroll for you to play with.

SERIOUS COIN - a large amount of money.

SERIOUS WOOD - the engorged part of the male anatomy.

SHOES OLDER THAN HER - a young girl.  As in, “You might want to stay away from her pal, I’ve got shoes that are older than her.”

SHORT COUNT, or, SHORT GO - short weight or payment of money as a result of cheating or skimming.

SIT-DOWN - a meeting with the Family “administration” to settle disputes and negotiate the share of certain deals.  As in, “Listen, we’ll have a sit-down and figure out who gets what, then everything will be everything.”

SKIM - tax-free gambling profits, or money taken that is not reported to the IRS.

SKIPPER - A capo.

STAND-UP GUY - someone who refuses to rat out or testify against someone else, no matter what the pressure, offer or threat. This is the opposite of a “Soup Sandwich”.

STEPLADDER TO THE STARS - Dating a very attractive tall girl or super-model.

SOUP SANDWICH - someone who is not reliable and cannot be trusted in a deal; not a solid person.  Someone who will fall apart under pressure.

SWAG - stolen goods, or material goods; stuff, or property that was obtained for free. 

SWEATIN’ GRAVY - a Pit-Boss who really sweats the money.  As in, “You shoulda seen the mega-hand that Vinnie rolled at Luxor last night…the Pit Boss was sweatin’ gravy.”

SAUSAGE FEST or SAUSAGE PARTY - a gathering with many more males than females.   As in, "Let's take off, this is just a sausage party."

SCULLY - to doubt. Origin: the character Scully on the television program The X-Files. While her partner believes in the paranormal and occult, she is doubtful.  As in, "Don't Scully me." 

SEE A MAN ABOUT A DOG, or A HORSE - to defecate.  As in, "I've got to go see a man about a dog." 

SELL THE VOLVO - when a legit or conservative husband/father-type of guy turns to crime or a more action-filled, faster-paced lifestyle.  As in, “Yeah after the divorce, he decided to sell the Volvo and join up with Vito and Jackie”.  A Volvo is considered a very conservative, and straight-laced kind of car that a respectable guy might drive.  The term is figurative, not literal.

SHEEP - someone who follows trends, trying to always do what's "in" or popular. Origin: sheep aren't viewed as very intelligent creatures.  The term conjures up images of the animals just following one another, going wherever they're herded.  As in, "Those kids with their frosted hair and their baggy pants are just sheep."   In the casino context, “Shearing Sheep” means the casino is clipping money from dumb players at a fast rate.

SPOOGE - semen or a displeasing, unidentifiable substance. To be squeezed out of something, such as condiments from the other end of food being eaten, such as tacos, burritos, hamburgers, etc.  As in, "I was eating a taco and secret sauce spooged out the other end."

STRAP - to carry a firearm.  As in, "You gotta be strapped in that neighborhood." 

SUPER C, or one G - a $1000 bill

SWORD FIGHT - a gathering with many more males than females.  As in, "This party is a sword fight.  Let’s go to a club where there is more slash."

SCREAMER - a party lover; a "two pot screamer" is somebody who gets drunk on very little alcohol (two drinks), looked upon as an especially good trait in a woman.

SLAB - a case of 24 beer bottles or a carton of 24 cans.

STANDOVER MAN - a large man, usually gang-related, who threatens people with physical violence in order to have certain wishes carried out.  As in, “Send a stand-over man to Stevies place to collect this weeks house-piece.”

TALK TO RALPH ON THE BIG WHITE PHONE, or TECHNICOLOR YAWN - to vomit.   As in, "He's talking to Ralph on the big white phone."

THREE-DAY MILLIONAIRE - a welfare recipient who goes to the casino with his welfare check at the end of the month.  They act as if they are rich, but only for the three days while the money lasts.

THREE-HOUR MILLIONAIRE - same as the “Three Day Millionaire”, but the Three-Hour variant is characterized by a lot more Prop and Hop betting.

TIN - a badge carried by law enforcement officials.  As in, "Show me some tin."

TOO MUCH JUNK IN THE TRUNK - A woman with a large behind.

TORCH COOKER - throwing the dice too hard into a dealers working stacks.

TRAIN WRECK - knocking over all of the dealers working stacks of chips, and sending them scattering into all of the Place and Come bets that are on the table.

TORQUED - angry; pissed off.  As in, "Don't get all torqued about it," or, "Okay, now I'm torqued.   Someone's gonna die.") 

TOSSER - someone that is stupid, annoying, despicable, or just generally unpleasant to have around.

TRENCH COAT - an outcast; freak or suspected child-molester.  In the alternative, it can mean a plain-clothed detectives.

TRIM, SLASH, or RECEPTICLE - a woman

TUNNEL - to defraud, swindle, or cheat and make lots of money at it.   As in, “He tunneled out of that Enron deal just before the roof caved in.”

UNDER-ARM JEWELLRY - a gun.

VOUCH FOR - to personally guarantee, with one's life, the reputation of someone else.

WANKER - an unpleasant person. Used as a general insult, British in origin.  As in, "You are such a wanker!" 

WHITE TRASH - poor people that do not attempt to hide their lack of money or class. They live in filth (e.g. rusting cars and old kitchen appliances fill the front yard), they are poorly educated, they don't care about their appearance (e.g. they are poorly groomed and overweight, wear dirty and tattered clothes,) et cetera.  As in, "90% of my kids school is white trash."   

WHO OPENED THEIR LUNCH? - means, “OK, who farted?”

 
WIFE-BEATER - a sleeveless undershirt.  Origin: before wearing a wife-beater as one's only shirt became a popular style, they were worn in that fashion primarily by people who were too poor to buy outer shirts, such as alcoholics.  One stereotypical image of an alcoholic is someone wearing an undershirt and beating their wife.  As in, "All the ghetto-thugs wear wife-beaters, and now all the young kids want to follow that trend."

WILD PIGS - poorly adjusted brake pads that squeal in use, or the sound of unheated ceramic brake-discs on a newer-model Porsche.

WORD HOLE, PIE HOLE, or CAKE HOLE - mouth.  As in, "You better shut your word hole!"

WRENCH - a lower-level mob guy who is willing to do “wet work”.

WRITE BIG - what to say to the Pit Critter you are on friendly terms with when they are rating your casino “action” or play.  As in, “Hey Jennifer, write big on my rating card…I want more than a cheese sandwich tonight.”

WET WORK - To do grievous harm to someone.  As in, “Bobby is always willing to do wet work for us, if need be.”

WUPPIE - young, semi-hip, web site professionals, and is usually used in a derogatory manner.  As in, "I don't feel like going to that party at Rain in the Desert at the Palms Casino, it's just going to be a bunch of wuppies."  

YARD SALE - (from skiing) a horrendous crash that leaves all your various "wares" scattered as if on display for sale.  Also what the interior of a house or car looks like after a police search.

YAK - an unattractive female, usually due to morbid obesity or bovine-like odor.  Originated from the name of the Asian moose-like beast of burden of the same name.

YOKO ONO -    The wife and/or girlfriend of an associate who always wants to sit in on business meetings, much to the annoyance of other members.   Origin: Yoko Ono, the partner of The Beatles member John Lennon.  As in, "Your girlfriend is SUCH a Yoko Ono!  We have business to discuss and I don’t want her around." 

XIPPIE - a young person who pretends to be a hippie. Origin: combination of the terms "generation-x" and "hippie". Pronounced "zippie".   As in, "My son and his friends are becoming xippies." 

 

Well folks, like I said at the beginning of this article, I left out as much objectionable stuff as possible.  However, if I have offended you…

Good Luck & Good Skill at the Tables…and in Life.

Sincerely,

The Mad Professor

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