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May 26, 2006

A Past That's Hard to Shake

It's probably about 8pm here in Denver where I've posted up for the evening in a downtown hotel. The sound of the wall-mounted air conditioner is the only thing between me and silence now, though I doubt my mind would provide such quiet on this particular evening. I've pulled the thin curtain allowing in just enough of the city lights to remind me there is in fact a city out there. It's the kind of day where you pray for a distraction. I've never been much for anniversaries, but this one doesn't want to let me chose. It was this day last year, when the phone rang and the news was bad. This day that the doctor dug up my hip bone to find the cells were so densely packed he wouldn't be getting a good bone marrow biopsy, not that he would need one to know there was a battle ahead of me. Plane flights were booked, the parents, the girlfriend, the sister, the management, the record company, the publicist one by one arrived as the week wore on. Together we grieved, planned and tried to find peace as we awaited the news. It was hard to watch how much it affected everyone when the came through the door of that hospital room for the first time. It was hard to be the one sitting there knowing I would be spending so much time in rooms like it in the months to follow. These memories can be so overwhelming. Most days they come quickly, like a downpour in the tropics or something, but today I must admit I'm haunted. I hate that this post may come across as dark or disqualifying to the hope that has arisen from the events of my illness, but the reality is that today I feel more human than ever. And while I'm so thankful for every moment I am alive, I have to admit that at this second I feel more vulnerable to the world around me than I could ever put into words. It is an intense thing to feel so connected to the ground I am walking on and still feel so temporary. These things pass though and at this moment all I can do is feel gratitude for the fact that I am still here and that I have met so many amazing people along the way. Either way the distraction I prayed for just arrived in the form of a club sandwhich and fries, so I think I'll call it a night...A very long and perplexing night :)

Comments

oh jees. yeah its marked on my calendar this day

<33

Time really does fly by.

what a crazy year
and its so amazing that we all had no idea where everyhting would end up
but its been.. interesting
hahah

YOU USE A LOT OF ADJECTIVES.
But for some reason when they're all together they sound amazing.
Sounds like you're doing well<3

it's so weird to think that it's been a year. and that at this time last year, we had no idea where life would take any of us.

it's good to be in the future knowing things turned out well now...isn't it?

i'm so thankful you are well and feeling awes. see you soon, my friend :)

<3Leah

sup andrew pwns me?

it has been a year since that bad event, and now it's time for a year fulla good to make up for it.

This deffinetly made me tear up.
ch-ch-changesssss :)

Heyy! you made it though & your going to keep making it & do even better in life =]] just keep smiling! cya soon
<3nessa

Today is quite a haunting day in numerous senses. It marks one day since I was re-evaluated by an orthopedic doctor and told my the head of my tibia on the medial side may be fractured, 17 days since that fateful moment in a crosswalk on a bustling Northern California street, and also one year from the day my grandpa passed away. May seems to have had a very ominous presence in my life the past two years, and it's certainly something that demands to be acknowledged. I agree, memories are overwhelming, but, if anything else, it's a constant reminder of how human we are, as you mentioned. So, now, as I begin to wrap up my day full of video games and sensationalist network news, I reflect on many moments, both far in the past and recently added chapters, most notably standing with you at the exit of a building on a cold San Francisco night, sharing how good it is to be alive.

And, for me, that's enough.

Stevie :)

yayyyy for distraction.
<3

you never cease to amaze me.
i'll never stop looking up to you.
as corny as this all sounds
i cannot wait to see you again in 4 days.

much love
-lianne

Gosh Andrew, I can't even imagine what today must have been like for you. I'm sorry that you're feeling vulnerable right now and all I can think of to say is look at how far you've made it out of what you've been through. I'm sure your days are filled with things none of us know about and I know that your illness still probably controls some aspects of your day, but just know that there are tons of people out there that love you and uplift you in our prayers and thoughts. You're an amazing man and I have no doubt that this night will pass by and you will move forward. Try and let our thoughts, prayers, and hope uplift you tonight and get some rest.

*hugs*
Love ya!
Jaime

enjoy your sandwich

rhondas comment wins ^^

i love you andrew.
i have more to say.
im saying it elsewhere though.

basically,
thanks for being alive.
you couldnt possibly know how important you are.

we are all glad your here too.
im glad your spending your time doing what you love and that you don't have to be stuck in a hospital bed. you are right where you belong and i hope you never leave us.

wow, i can't believe it's been a year.
just think how much better you are right now than you were exactly a year ago. it truly is amazing.
you've been so incredible over the past year, not just by helping yourself, but by inspiring so many of us with your lyrics and journal entries as well. instead of thinking about that phone call, think about all that you have accomplished in the past year and how much you have changed as a person. i, for one, admire you a bajillion times more than i ever have before.
keep going strong and i'm looking forward to a much better summer'06 than summer'05.
and i hope you enjoyed that club :-)

Much love,
Kiersten

ps. your entries always make my day

Wow, I really don't know what to say (type). I am just glad that you made it through everything and that you are alive. You mean so much to so many people. Words can't even begin to describe how loved you are.

<3 Kristen

um. i have no words, just emotion.

except. you should listen to some angels and airwaves.. good distraction, no pun intended.

Wow, time really does fly. It doesn't even seem like it's been a year. This entry is truly amazing.

I can't wait to see you in Chicago!:)

Ellen

i'm so thankful for everyday you're alive as well. it has been a crazy year yet you still never cease to amaze me.

as people have already said, time really does fly!

You mean so much to a lot of people Andrew. We're all so glad you're alive. I had a few tears rolling down my face as I watched you perform these past couple of days. You are a beautiful person. I'm so glad that you're here <3.

Hey Andrew, i'm sure today was a hard day for you.. but look at it this way, look at you now a year later and still going strong. you beat it and you won. so dont let today bring you down, smile and know that you were strong and didn't let it get to you =] we were all on your side Andrew and would never let the cancer win..so when you think back on 1 year ago, just know within yourself you did it and that horrible time is over <3

♥ always,
Tiffany

I'm so glad it's all passed and we still have you. :)

Hey Andrew!
Nice update. :D
Thanks for the amazing show at Slim's on the 23rd. Meeting you after was amazing. I asked if you knew any other fans named India and you said no. xD

I didn't know what to say! Haha.

I can't believe it's been a year.

I'm so happy you're with us.
India

o god andrew.


i dont want to say i am crying....but i can't deny it...i am.

i can not express how grateful and happy that you are still here.
this day is monumental and i can only say thank you for being so optimistic in a time were most people would crumble.

thank you andrew.
take care of yourself.

chelsea

Andrew,

I'm so glad you're still here. I met you 3 days ago and I was thinking, "Thank God he's still here." You are so amazing. This practically brought me to tears. I was thinking today how it was a year ago that your phone call rang and your intense journey began. I just read this blog to my mom, and she would like me to tell you that she's glad you're here too, because the world would be at such a loss of an amazing person and talent. I couldn't agree more. Thank you so much for the best day of my life on Tuesday. You never cease to amaze me, and I hope your club sandwich and fries are good. I just had fries myself. :)

-Kate

I'll have to agree with the comment above mine... the 23rd was spectacular. It's extremely hard to believe how crazy and tumultuous of a year it's been for you, after all the ups and downs, triumphs and setbacks, but... it's good to be alive. <3. I hope you liked my "I like it raw" shirt.

Andrew,

I was thinking about you a lot today. This date last year I was supposed to see you play in Jersey and it was going to be my 3rd Jacks show in 4 days. I remember smiling(all the way home & into the next day haha) after the second show(in NYC) when you came over to my friend and I just to tell us you remembered what I had told you the night before about us seeing you Thursday(in Jersey) too & that you'd see us then. Then we found out you cancelled the show because of what we all thought was only a case of laryngitis and although a little disappointed, more than anything I was relieved and happy that you were taking care of yourself and not risking your voice any more than you had been. Then came June 3rd, the press release, and me running down the stairs in my house and into my kitchen where I proceeded to scream out what I had just learned and then double over because I thought I was going to be sick.
There's so much more I would say if I was actually talking to you or maybe if you were the only one reading this (haha), but basically what I'm trying to say is that this brings up a lot of memories for more people than you know. Obviously no where near the kinds of memories you & your family/friends have, but they're there and will never be forgotten. 60 years from now when you're still dancing on pianos(with the help of a stepladder & a cane ;-) haha) the painful memories will still be there, but we'll be smiling, bc we have you, and there are no words to describe how lucky we all are for that. Love you!

Have a safe and very fun tour! Can't wait to see you in August! :-)
<3

--Kris

as i read your blog today, i am not going to lie and say i was not crying. but i was. andrew you are an inspiration to me and i am so glad you are still here to put out amazing music. You and your music have helped me through my rough times and i want to thank you for that. Andrew you are my hero!!!!!

I am speechless. *hug* I wish I was giving you that in person right now, but a virtual hug will have to do.

You are an inspiration!!!

<3kelly

Andrew, everyday I think about how you are still with us after this past year and I cant help but smile. I just want to give you a giant hug because you make me smile so much. Take this day and turn it into a positive one. Remember the life that you have, not the life you feared you wouldnt. :D With your incredible optimism, you have helped me see the light in dark situations.

Much love.

you're my inspiration.
Reminded me of the song Eternal Life by Jeff Buckley "You better turn around and blow your kiss goodbye to life eternal angel..."
keep being the beautiful person you are.
hope to see you touring australia soon.
j xx

last year, more around july...i had finally recieved the handwritten lyrics that i won from the JM street team. you had written down the lyrics to Bruised with that date in the upper right hand corner. it meant a lot to me that you took the time out of your day to write down some lyrics for a contest (cuz i'm sure you writing down lyrics that you've already written is kinda pointless once you know it haha).

i remember that date meant nothing to me on that piece of paper until a few months later when i read that may 26 was the day you found out the news from your doctors.

it almost broke my heart knowing that woW. all of that was happening all when you were writing down those words and drawing the pictures on that sheet. even though you must have felt every emotion all at once, you still wrote them down.

i truely cherish that piece of paper (as cheesy as that sounds) and i guess whenever i look at it, it's a reminder to me that every day goes on and even when you hit the bottom, there's only one way to go, which is up. you have to live for the moment and even when it seems like the world is falling apart, there's always tomorrow. you have been such a strong person throughout this whole year, and it's amazing. i can't wait to see you perform for a THIRD time on Sunday when you come around to dallas! SxSw was truely amazing this past spring time. i think that was the best spring break ever!

anyway, i doubt you'll read this, but if you do, i just wanted to let you know how much that simple piece of paper meant to me.

thanks for the blogs dude. hope the allergies are better. cya sooon haha

not gonna lie, im in tears


im so glad you're still here.

Andrew..thank you once again for recording your feelings. Your music travelled with Rob when he experienced his battle with leukemia. He went to see you at House of Blues in Boston in 2002 and you travelled through the Jimmy Fund Clinic and Boston Children's Hospital without even knowing it. You have been through an amazing journey and are a very brave man to share it. You were travelling through it before you even knew it. As I get ready to set up for a scholarship fundraiser tonight, your thoughts remind me of times and conversations I had with another remarkable young man. So if a curly haired rocker shows up in a dream and whispers a lyric in your ear, don't be alarmed, its Rob..he travels with you now.

Wow.


Yeah, that's all.

Woah, that literally made me tear up.
You re-telling that fateful day seemed so alarming, but a reminder of life and how it can shake you around within a second..or a phone call.

Andrew, thanks for always keeping in touch with your concerned fans :) This year will be much better than your last, and make up for the good times you've missed. Enjoy your touring!

A year goes by quickly, dosen't it?

You're an inspiration. Thankyou for letting us stay with you over this crazy year. I hope this one's amazing for you. You deserve it. :)

thank you for being absolutely amazing

wow a year... that seems like such a long time... you're absolutely amazing. We love you!

Lauren

my mom and i were talking about this the other day. we remember being in washington, dc for memorial weekend, computerless nonetheless, but aware that you were really sick. on my mom's birthday, we traveled to baltimore for a JM show only to find it cancelled. girls in line were yelling at the ticket-taker, and i remember having to explain to them that you were really sick; it wasn't anyone's fault- it's more important for you to get your health in order than play at a small venue in maryland. days later, the official news was announced via internet.

last night, i saw pictures from the san fran shows.. you look so healthy. you're glowing! it's hard to believe that it was just a year ago- but a lot of good came out of it. your fans instantly bonded over the summer, and, i, personally, have met many wonderful people from it. you've helped raise over thousands and thousands of dollars for pcrf.. it all adds up in the end. thank you for keeping a strong optimistic attitude for everything. you're really an inspiration to many.

“What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now.”

don't stop believing!

- kelli & kelli's mom, lynn

wow, marry me.
<3

What a crazy year it has been for you Andrew, time sure does fly.
This post was, wow. Intense.
You are just truely amazing.

Glad your doing well, and feeling good.


"It's good to be alive" is right.

<3
so glad everything has turned out alright.

Dearest Andrew,

My husband's day that will live on in infamy is July 8, when his biopsy came back positive.

At this time last year (plus a few days) we had just finished seeing you perform an amazing show at Theater of Living Arts in Philadelphia. You were in the lobby talking on your cell phone, hugging fans, signing autographs and cheerfully multitasking as usual.

All of us were blissfully ignorant of our futures on that wonderful night. But what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, and you, young man, are superMAN these days.

So, let's all jump up and dance on that piano!

See you in Joisey at Tweeter. We shall celebrate big-time!

Hugs & cookies,
Your oldest fan!

It was such a crazy year for you, I totally understand your post, because it's been a year ago since you heard the news and all, you must let it out through words.
Wow, how fast the time has gone by, it still feels like a couple days ago since I read the news about your illness on the internet. But now I'm glad that that time has gone by so quickly, and that you're feeling good again :)
Stay well
<333

Andrew,
It doesnt seem like it has been a year already since that news. A man in your position has every right to feel haunted. However, this journey you've been through has made you stronger, and im sure you've met some amazing people. It is good to be alive. Cheers.
and congratulations on this accomplishment, you're an inspiration to all of us, and then some,
Stay Strong,
Sydney

We were lucky enough to be able to see you at the Venue in Salt Lake 2 days ago- it was so good to see how well you are doing, and how far you've come. It was an awesome show, and hopefully you felt the love. We're glad you're back!
Stay well, and come to Salt Lake often!!
Tiffany

we're all SO glad you're here with us today.

I have many days like these too, but i just have to remember all the possitive things that i have in my life. Thank goodness that you are so strong. You are a hero in many eyes, and you have changed many lives along the way. Just remember that when you get down. You are a miracle to many.

i still believe you are still here because people needed you still, you weren't finished yet. thank you for everything, you've made such a difference and opened up so many doors just merely through the form of music. :)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Omg, i feel so bad. i wish i could give you soemthing, but i cnat because you are physically unreachable to me. but if you do read this, i hope that you check out my site because it has all of my affection for you on there and i hope you know i care. and if you ever need to talk, im sure your girlfriend has a phone.

http://forgottenphantom.deviantart.com/

You always seem to amazing me Andrew.
<3 Alicia

I don't pray often. But I'll pray for you today, that you find peace and happiness in life.
Everyone deserves to not be haunted by their memories, and to be able to rest peacefully.

Until we meet again.
-tom

Andrew,
No matter how down you feel, we're here for you. Some of us may not be able to say we know how you feel, but we certainly understand. When you feel temporary, just remember how many lives you've affected. Once you've changed a life, it's forever.

Your music and life story have made me a better person - and it not only effects me, but everyone I talk to every day. You're truly amazing Andrew. Really.

Andrew,
Every moment of every day - we should be as aware of our lives as you are. You are an inspiration and a true testament to the reality that is life itself. Even though we may say that our lives are like grains of sand on a beach, just remember that there is only one you and you are an intricate of part of this world. Each one of us is here for a reason and yours is just so much more pronounced and out there for the world to see.
Yes, it's been a tough year and the lessons learned will never be forgotten. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us and for making each of us feel that we have been right there with you through the thick and thin of it all. You give us hope.
Remember that the moment you can accept the inevitability of your own death, will you become free to live. And you have done just that. You truly are a miracle. Thank you.

Andrew,
i am a recent fan of yours. my best friend got me the JM CD like 2 months ago but i wasn't able to hear it until 2 weeks ago (i know, i'm a horrible person). anyway, once i did hear it, i was hooked just as countless others. i was sort of a something corporate fan, having gotten North 2 years ago for my birthday (coincidently by the same friend that gave me the JM CD) and i was hooked then too. but school is hard man and leaves little time for music. ANYWAY, what i was trying to say before i started babbling is that look at everything you have accomplished. over the past few days i have been checking out the fan world and i was simply amazed at 1) what an amazingly amazing person you are, and 2) just how many people love and admire you. look at how far you've come, dude. you are so strong and have the most positive outlook on things. i personally don't know how you do it. i look at what you've been through and i just can't imagine going through that. thank you for everything, but most of all, thank you for making it. i'm really glad you did.

~Diana.
p.s. i can't wait to see you next saturday, june 3, in ft. lauderdale. me and my infamous friend caro (the one i keep mentioning) will be there cheering you on, in awe of everything you've accomplished =]

this one almost made me cry
im so happy that just a year after all this ur doing so much better :)
cant wait to see you at summerfest in july!

Wow. It's been a year.

It's so weird.

You're such a huge inspiration to so many people, including me. Your music helped me get through some pretty hard times this year.

You have every right to be haunted by this day. I can't imagine how scary it was for you.

I'm not gonna lie, this post left me in tears.

I remember last year that when i found out the news. It didn't hit me until i went to bed that night not being able to sleep cause i was so worried about you.

I can't tell you how glad i am that you're still here.

You are truly amazing.

Take Care!
♥Sara

P.S. I hope you enjoyed your sandwich and fries.=]

Andrew, i'm so sorry you've had to go through this whole ordeal. things like this should never ever happen to a person like you. or anyone..but especially you, with the way you've touched so many people in so many different ways. this week i cut school for 2 days to be out at Slim's a 4am on monday, and 8am on tuesday, and pretty much had a JM overload. not to mention that i got to get a pass to the acoustic JM show at the apple store. and after it was all over, i seriously felt like crying constantly. i feel like the only time i ever feel completley happy is when i have a JM show ahead of me, and when it's over, i feel like nothing else is worth waiting for, no matter how dumb that sounds. so this is sort of dragging on, but the point is that, last night my mom picked me up from my friends house and asked me why i was so upset, and i just told her that it was nothing new, it was just the same thing i had been feeling since wendsday. she hugged me and said she was sorry and she knows it's hard, but then she said something that made me reaslize i shouldnt be upset. she said "you know, i know it's hard when these amazing things end, but remember, Andrew is still alive, and thats why you still have things like this to always look forward to, so you need to think of that and be greatful for that when you get upset."
it seems like such an obvious marvelation, but at the time, i didnt even think that anything could get worse. but now i realize it's never been better. you are such a strong, and amazing person Andrew. i know you already know this, but soo so many people look up to you, it amazes me. i talked to Shaant from CIWWAF on monday, and he was saying how crazy me and my friend were for getting up so early to see JM, and then he mentioned how fucking amazing the JM fanbase is. he said he has never seen a croud react like they do when you step onto the stage, and it's true, you inspire people, and made them feel about things that they never thought they could.

and then, seeing you on stage for those 2 night, after everything you've been through..it got so emotional sometimes just to see how you've recovered and grown. nothing has ever brought me that much joy in my whole life, and i thank you for that so so much. i know it must me hard so much of the time, and i can't say i know how you feel because i've never experienced these things you are experiencing right now. but just remember how many people love you, and how much you do for people.

stay strong, like you always have been, even when you don't feel like you are sometimes. you are an amazing person, end of story.
i know this comment must be insanely long, and maybe a little bit weird, but i guess thats okay.

<3

andrew i'm so happy you are doing so well. you've been through a lot and everyone was with you on that long, horrible journey.
But we're glad to have you back, with full force this time. you truley inspire A LOT of people, including ME

we love you
♥ brittany

i had a club sandwich and fries the other night.

and now i'm hungry. thanks andrew. :)

i'm so glad you're better...and performing and...breathing, basically.

hey andrew.
that made me tear up quite a bit.
it's been a whole year.not a very good one.but now you'll have this year, and it will be great! :)
i love how you write so well!i'm pretty jealous.your words are amazing.just like you.<3


bye herooo!


<3 hanna :)

*hands you a =] *

Andrew, I am so glad that you are here with us still. I don't know if I could have made it if you did leave. I remember when I came out of the hospital last year from surgery. All I could listen to was your words.

Much Love

Noel

I know you've heard all this before but,
Your amazing! You've come so far in such a short amount of time! Your such an inspiration to me. keep fighting!

<3
livi

Oh, Andrew. Even as a mere fan of yours and so far away from everything that was going on, I felt it and still can. You were diagnosed only a week after I first met you at a concert, and just...I can remember it so intensely that day I found out you were in the hospital. I can only imagine what it's like for you in retrospect.

That feeling of vulnerability is definitely human, though, and those of us who spend time really thinking about things (and overthinking, in my case) are more likely to feel it from time to time. I don't think I've put it into words better than you have in this entry, though.

Reading this gave me a slight haunting feeling, but it was rather cathartic too. Thank you for that. Don't worry, it doesn't detract from your optimism at all. If someone really were uplifting and grin-ny all the time, it'd be pretty scary. And as usual, take care! I'll be seeing you in July :)

<3
-Tessa

Uhh...my mom just died on the 23rd from cancer. and it totally sucks

you never fail to amaze us andrew. It's been an increadibly tough year for you but its mind blowing to see what progress you've made and how you've changed as a person and musician. This was deffinatly the most moving blog I think that you've written and with that, I wish you the best of luck.

fuck you are the most amazing man on this planet

amazing post and very touching <3

how come you're so inspirational?

you hog all the inspiration.

(girlfirend?)

you sure can ruin a girls day

:)
just teasing

It's been a long year, and this is quite an anniversary for you, Andrew. I thank God every day of my life that you are still with us and continually doing better. I know that this milestone must be a hard one, but just remember that every new day is one day further from those hard times last summer.

I love you and I can't wait to see your smiling face tomorrow in Dallas!

<3 Lesley

I just read through all the comments, and I don't think I could tell you anything that you haven't heard a million times before, but I'm going to say it anyways. You are an awesome person. I can't even count how many times you and your music have helped me get through a bad day. I can't believe it's been a year. I can vividly see the ... hour or so after I heard you had leukemia. I didn't follow SoCo or JM news very much, I just listened to the music. But I was in love with the music. My sister's friend told her about it, and she told me. I couldn't believe it. It was all I could do to hold back the tears. And it just so happened that I had SoCo playing in my room, and when I walked in, it was "If I Die." That did it for me. I was bawling. I was thinking about you all night, and into the next morning.. The next day, I had the honor roll trip to Six Flags Magic Mountain, and I was trying not to cry as we waited for the bus. When I told my friends, they didn't get why I was so upset. I didn't even know you. But there was still a connection. Your music was a part of me, and you were becoming a part of me. I tried as hard as I could to support you, and I was so happy when I heard you were doing okay. My sister and her friend (the one that told us about your cancer) saw you at Slim's on Monday. I wasn't able to go, because I live 5 hours away, and it was a school night. But she recorded Rescued for me, and I made sure she took plenty of pictures. I still have yet to see you live, but I will make an insane effort to get to one. You have no idea how much you mean to me, and I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you. Thank you.

(wow... that's only slightly long. I didn't mean to type that much, but I guess it just needed to come out. ;) )

Oh, and you're a wonderful writer. I'm jealous. ;)

now i'm hungry.

and very glad you are still here with us!

One Year...
Time Flys.
I'm glad you're alright Andrew. You're amazing. I remember when I heard you were diagnosed. I just couldn't imagine someone as strong as a person as you going through that. I'm really really happy that you're here.
Much Love,
Samantha

In every post I read, you amaze me even more. You are one strong person and I admire you deeply.

Thanks for being you.

Oh Andrew, you always seem to have such a positive attitude about everything, regardless of what you have gone through. I think that is amazing, and I really and truly look up to you for that. Your situation actually hits close to home for me because my uncle got diagnosed with leukemia 5 years ago. Thankfully, my mom was a perfect match and his bone marrow transplant was succesful. I have to say though, it never seemed that he had such a positive attitude or was as thankful as you have been. I guess my point is, you are amazing Andrew, and this has only seemed to prove this fact. Stay strong and just remember that you have a lot of people (that you don't even know) supporting you no matter what!
Looking forward to seeing you soon in Vancouver :)

I admire you so much Andrew you are so amazingly positive with everything in life. This blog no joke made me cry. I've never felt a connection with a person the way I do with you and your music and I’m so unbelievable glad that you are here with us today. you've changed my life in so many different ways and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for that. Take care

Godspeed on all your future endeavors. I am a big fan of you in general and all that you have touched on. My 7 year old daughter is as well. Her name is Rhiannon and regretfully I am sitting at her bedside in Stony Brook University Hospital out on Long Island, NY. Sadly she was diagnosed with Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia on May 1st and is not having the best recovery according to all the doctors here. I was hoping that you would have some feedback for me with all that you went through and now that you have bounced back I would personally like to talk to you about life after...

Just so you know you have met my daughter before. I was the house photographer for a venue called the Downtown on Long Island. Sadly that is no more. I am still photographing music in other venues and would love to work with you on a more personal level. Please, get in touch so we can chat...

keith@hikeproductions.com

Keith Kiiroja and Rhiannon Chloe

God bless you Andrew

andrew, youre something my friends and i would call a neb. there are two meanings to it, but the one that my friends and i refer to means "awww you're too cute". its crazy to think about everything youve been through in the past year, but it's amazing to see how much it affected you and view on everything. if i recall correctly, you were always a positive appreciative guy, but everything that's happened jsut reinforced that and i think that's so great. this may sound wierd, but you ahve a lot of dignity adn i really respect and admire that of you.
much love
alisa

it's hard to believe how time does fly by. and you shouldn't choose to forget this date or choose to ignore it. this was a very significant time in your life. think about it. what has happened to you has defined you (at least in a small way, if not more). you definitely would not be the same person you are. i'm a firm believer of the phrase: Everything Happens For A Reason. It's the truth. Out of everything negative emerges something positive. With you and your cancer, you were able to take a step back from your life...take a much needed breather and reconnect with yourself, your family, your friends, and your girlfriend, etc. Not to mention the fact that you were able to see that EIT was able to do really well even without much promotion on your part. it just shows that your talents can take you far. you rock out, andrew. we love you.

Andrew,

A year most certainly changes everything, doesn't it? "Good to be alive" may not even cover it. I hope that the haunting feelings make way for better ones. You've always got your fans. :)

With love,
Melissa

wow, may 26th is my birthday...now i will think of u every year that i grow older and you do too because u made it- ur a true survivor & the world is a better place because of you- don't ever forget that.
<3 deandra

I dont even know where to begin...

I know I wouldnt be here if it wasnt for you...

I am so proud of how far you have come...

I wish I could give you a hug right now...

DON'T THINK TOO MUCH.

when something happened to me in the past and i think about it too much i just get myself into trouble. your thoughts race and your hearbeat speeds up. your physical reactions can get in the way of your mental well-being. been there. just don't think, focus on the now, and eat food. hug someone! ;]

i find myself liking meet me at my window more and more as i listen to it. lonely for her, too. im stuck in extensions for finals for the next few days, and i'm relistening to a lot of old stuff, plus, of course, EIT, and it's good (i just re-looked at the artwork, too. wow.). thanks!

ps looking forward to 8/10! i'll be the girl with the letter :] (it's big. VERY big letter. so be afraid. very afraid :O ;p)

all the love that i own is going to you

Cheer up Andrew =)
You're such a strong person, it'll be ok.
This year was kinda tough on me too (nothing near what you had to go through though), but you and your courage inspired me and helped me through things. I owe ya haha
Hope to see you at a show this summer if I can get the money.
Love, Lorna

Andrew,

It definitely has been a crazy year. It flew by so quickly. Seems like yesterday that I saw you perform at the TLA in Philly. I have been a huge fan for 3 years now and still can't get enough of your music.

But you are so lucky that within a year of getting the news, you are back on your feet again doing what you love.

You are such a strong and incredible person, but most people find their strength in their moments of weakness. These moments shape us into who we are and we come out stronger than we have ever thought we could be. Throughout the whole process, your outlook on things and even yourself has changed. Your words make me remember that not every day is guaranteed, and a lot of people take life for granted because there is never this realization. This line really made me realize this, "It is an intense thing to feel so connected to the ground I am walking on and still feel so temporary."

I love reading your blogs because your words just seem to flow when reading them. They are truly sincere and personal, and I thank you for sharing these deep and trivial thoughts.

Just keep doing what you are doing because it definitely seems to be working. And you deserve every ounce of recognition and success in all of this.

Love, Jes

P.S. You were AWESOME when i saw you at Irving Plaza in New York, and I can't wait until August 10th to see you play with OAR at the Tweeter Center!

I think we are all just as grateful as you are that you are well! We're all proud of how far you've come since last year. You'll always be a hero and an inspiration in my eyes.

I'll be seeing you in two days in Orlando!

<3 always
Joy

i admire you.
i know you've been through hell and you have some really dark memories but now it seems you appreciate life more than ever. the realization that we are temporary and that we're grateful for what we have is something we all need. it will allow us to be better prepared for hardships in life and to really cherish the good things. its good to sit and think sometimes...but don't let it get you down...we're all here for you and i know i personally wouldn't have gotten through a lot of things if it hadn't been for blasting your words and realizing that there's someone out there who relates. well...i have more to say...maybe next time because its finals week...joy. feel better and look forward to this year because i know we all are.

Sara

Dear Andrew,

Your music moves me in a way that is unmatched. You have probably heard this a million times (probably that phrase too...) anyways I do not know if you will read what I have to say.

I have been there from almost the beggining...Ever since I heard yourmusic since 1999 I have been following you and your music for the past seven years now.

The song Cavanaugh Park was what hooked me to you guys,and you...It was moving,inspiring, and just makes me shiver to this day.

You have evolved as a writer, fighter,singer, and person. I have met you on occasion after concerts but it is highly unlikely that you even remember many of your fans. But just the factyou are a down toearth person outside of being a musician makes you very wholesome.

I am very glad that you have overcome many things. And although I love Jacks Mannequinas much as I do Something Corporate,I was just wondering when you guys are going to do stuff...The last I heard from you guyswas on the Bob Dylan Tribute and North...

Its been almost three whole years since your fans have received any SoCo material...

Whats going on with SoCo? Anyways you are probably a busy man with touring and all,and I cannot wait to hear new stufffrom you everyday.I am just putting "Meet me at my window," on repeat...You make songs that hook me...

Nevertheless,takeit easy and hopefully fanswill be able to hear whats up with SoCoand what not..I think there are many fans itching for it...

You make music happy.

-Mike

hang in there andrew, dont feel vulnerable, you'll be just fine.
your doing supurb

:) lauren

Andrew,
i think it is great that you are still here a year later to tell us about your first time going in to the hospital and what you went thru. it is the best thing that could probably happen to you instead of being here with us today. i have faith in you that you will be here for a long long time cause your time on this earth is not at all close to be finished. we all love you, well i know i do and i want you to know that you have inspired me to be greatful for everyday i have and everyone i have and also to write more songs and poems. your me hero and my savier.

Wow Andrew, you never cease to amaze me with how you can describe your feelings in writing. Although I'm just a fan and am far from all of your personal problems, I still feel so close to the issues because of the way you write. Anyways, I can't believe it has been a year, time sure does fly. Have a great tour, I can't wait to see you in St.Louis in July!

Hang in there Andrew, we all love you!

Wow...that really showed the struggles you go through. But just remember everyone struggles(maybe not as much as others) and everyone feels like it's too much sometimes. But I just ask that you keep in mind how many lives you're changing, including mine, and that hundreds of kids would be lost if it wasn't for you. Don't take this as overly cheesy please, it's just the way I see it and good luck with the future...Thanks for the amazing music.
-Rob

I really don't know what to say other than I thank God every day for the things he does.

all my love,
caiti

I have to say I can identify with everything about this post. A day does not go by when I do not think of cancer. It seems every little thing in my day to day life provides some memory of what happened to me when I was twenty one and in a way continues to happen. Being in remission is a wonderful feeling, but you can never shut your mind off to the things you went through.

It is not fair or necessary that anyone ever becomes diagnosed with cancer, but unfortunately it is part of the world we live in. Sometimes I find myself having a conversation with someone and I will say something along the lines of, oh yeah I remember this or that from chemo or radiation. I am sure it gets old for other people to hear about it, yet again it is impossible to shut my brain off.

Anniversaries have never been that relevant in my life and now I find myself being more than aware of every single one of them related to my cancer diagnosis and treatment.

I have to say I am extremely thankful for survivors like Andrew, because he was someone I could relate to while going through my own treatment. To see him now onstage, as I did the other night meant so much to me because we are both living and breathing in the air I think we all take for granted.

Meg Leach

andrew, great post. good luck with the tour & everything else going on in your busy life. we love you!

Your terrible anniversary and mine are eerily close together. May is just a bad month in general for me, I think.

In January 2004 my mom was diagnosed with cancer, and on my 18th birthday, May 7, of that same year she went into the hospital because she was too sick to take care of herself, or for us to take care of her anymore. My prom was one week later and although all of my family was down to see my mom, having to take all my pictures with them on the Palliative Care Unit floor of the hospital (and not being able to take any with my mom -- she refused to be photographed since the chemo had made her lose her hair, not to mention that she looked like death) was even more depressing. A little over two weeks after that, on May 30, she died. It was a beautiful Sunday morning, one of those days when you know summer is coming. (I live in Ontario.)

So a few days ago it was two years. I know it's very different from you since you actually experienced all of it, but I definitely feel a connection to you because of it; something separate from your music and celebrity.

On May 26 of this year, my brother and I and some of our friends participated in the Canadian Cancer Society's Relay for Life. We walked all night around the football field, the luminaries of hundreds -- maybe thousands -- of cancer victims and survivors alike lining the track. We didn't think to buy one in honour of you, but next year we will. Our event raised $127,000 and although it's not a lot in the big picture, hopefully other events every year raising that much will one day be enough to find a cure. Our money isn't going to bring back my mother, but it made me feel good to be helping other people even a little bit.

The past is hard to shake ... but maybe we're not supposed to shake it. Maybe we're just supposed to live with it, and use it to better ourselves and others.

Here's to decades more of these sad anniversaries. Maybe they won't be so sad then.

like a pheonix you rose from the ashes

So happy you're still here =)

You are an amazing person, and an amazing writer. I write poetry and songs, and your lyrics inspire me. You are probably one of the most beautiful people I've ever known of. It's so motivational that you've been through so much, and had to endure it in front of your fans and the nation. I think it's amazing that you've fought and are still fighting it. I would love to get to know you personally, even though that's not really possible. But I just think you should know that you're an incredible human being, and I love you and your music.

<3

Thank you for sharing your life with us so openly and honestly.We love you
especially me ;x

Andrew-
Your story gives me great inspiration. One of my good friends, who I have known since kindergarten, was diagnosed with cancer last September. It is easier to understand when a grandparent has cancer, but when your 16 year old friend is going through intense chemo, it is unbelievable. She is hanging in there strong and just finished her last 48 hour chemo. Hopefully, like you, by her one year anniversary she will be back at school, the place that she misses terribly.
Keep going strong and have a blast on the tour.

what an insane year.
i don't know why but the song i am listening to now made me think of you
its "yesterdays feelings" by the used.
it kinda goes along with the blog.
i think this one is actually my favorite.
i can remember exactly the time,day,where i was going/where i came from, what i was wearing, the scents, the sights everything from that day that changed your life forever.
i don't even know you( but i did meet you once) but i have been a fan of both your projects for a while since jm pracically began. the one time i met you i think you were just about the nicest person i ever met. you were saying about how you hoped that you could sing b.c your throat hurt and you had a bad case of laryngitis.

sorry if this came off as stalker creepy but i didn't mean for it too.

i need to go study for an english final now..

<3jess

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