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For Men, About Rape:
The Reality Page



A Word
from your Hosts

Resources and Links     Rape Statistics    For Men About Rape

a word:
real world

scorpio lila dominique & igor

For us, Fantasy is fine. In our minds, anything goes.

We can role-play and explore fantasies in privacy and with safety. This is obvious, but it is taking a while to sink in for an older mentality not yet comfortable or tuned to the exponential growth and change on the Internet, with even more changes ahead.

The fact that we can and do image ourselves in cyberspace as anyone or anything does not need to be explained to a generation raised on video games and role-playing and the WWW. This ceaseless ubiquitous cybernetic reality of the Internet and that is now a given - only its effects and future directions are now the subject of intense debate.

Over the next 100 years, the increasingly blurred divide between the cyberspace on one hand and psychological or social space on the other will be nothing less than revolutionary, according to thinkers like Ray Kurzweil (The Age of Spiritual Machines, 1999).

Think of wetware (your brain) enchanced by info-bots smaller than bloodcells, made to connect directly to the synapses via nanotechnology. Think of computers reaching human brainpower by 2020 and passing the Turing Test (by which a human cannot determine if the intelligence he is communicating with cybernetically is artificial or human) and moving on beyond this. Think of a Virtual Reality that feels very real, generated from one's own synapses: what law there?

Meanwhile,
back in the Real World...

Isn't this obvious already: There is a difference between having a fantasy all by ourselves in front of a computer, magazine, or video and acting one out, just as there is a difference between reading (or writing) yet another best-seller about a serial killer and being a serial killer.

The obvious, stated as baldly as possible: In the real world, non-consensual sex is a crime. Rape is about hatred, power, and anger. It is not even sex.

While we stand strongly against censorship and support the right of an individual to have private fantasies, extremefiles.com and also Domi, Lila & Scorpio personally, morally, and ethically are TOTALLY against any cruelty done to another living being.

If you are seeking "real" rape or torture pics, beastiality, or ANYTHING involving minors, you are in the wrong place. The photos, videos and stories within depict rape-fantasy scenes by enthusiastic amateurs or professional actors.

Responsible Sex
91/2 Weeks Anyone?

We support responsible sex. In rough sex-play always use "safe words" and remember that in real life "No" means NO! You may be surprised to know that many of extremefiles.com members are female, and though they may have submissive fantasies, the thought of actual rape rather than "play-rape" is horrifying and repugnant.

Personally, we and our Master Scorpio prefer sex. If you wish to know the ethics and etiquette of an experienced dominant, you must find one and study the art. But Scorpio can tell you this:

A Master is one who has mastered himself or herself. Consider the rarity of such a person.

A true Submissive is very powerful. She (or he) has the nature of a devotee or bhakta who has the power to surrender to the point of merging into the Master.

Awe, respect, and self-control are not the end; these requisites are the beginning of the attainment of Sexual Mastery or Sublime Submission.

If you feel irrationally angry or compelled and fear you might act out on some fantasy in the criminal sense without a partner's mutual consent, please seek counsel before you commit this crime.

scorpio lila dominique igor

For Men: About Rape

It is imperative that men accept the responsibility to not harm another person.

It is never OK for force yourself on a woman, even if you think she was teasing you or leading you on she says "no" and you think she means "yes" you've had sex with her before you've paid for her dinner or given her expensive gifts you think women enjoy being forced to have sex or want to be persuaded the woman is under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

Rape is a crime of violence.  It is motivated primarily be desire to control and dominate, rather than by sex.  It is illegal.
If you are getting a double message from a woman, speak up and clarify what she wants.  If you find yourself in a situation with a woman who is unsure about having sex or is saying "no," back off.  Suggest talking about it.
Do not assume you know what your partner wants; check out your assumptions.
Be sensitive to women who are unsure whether they want to have sex.  If you put pressure on them, you may be forcing them.
Do not assume you both want the same degree of intimacy.  She may be interested in some sexual contact other than intercourse.  There may be several kinds of sexual activity you mutually agree to share.
Stay in touch with your sexual desires.  Ask yourself if you are really hearing what she wants.  Do not let your desires control your actions.
Communicate your sexual desires honestly and as early as possible.
If you have any doubts about what your partner wants, STOP, ASK, CLARIFY.
Your desires may be beyond your control, but your actions are within your control.  Sexual excitement does not justify forced sex.
Do not assume her desire for affection is the same desire for intercourse.
Not having sex or not "scoring" does not mean you are not a "real man."  It is OK not to "score."
A woman who turns you down for sex is not necessarily rejecting you as a person; she is expressing her decision not to participate in a single act at that time.
No one asks to be raped.  No matter how a woman behaves, she does not deserve to have her body used in ways she does not want.
"No" means no.  If you do not accept a woman's "no," you might risk raping someone whom you thought meant "yes."
Taking sexual advantage of a person who is mentally or physically incapable of giving consent (for example, drunk) is rape.  If a woman has had too much to drink and has passed out, or is not in control of herself, having sex with her is rape.
The fact that you were intoxicated is not a legal defense to rape.  You are responsible for your actions, whether you are sober or not.

Be aware that a man's size and physical presence can be intimidating to a woman.  Many victims report that the fear they felt based on a man's size and presence was the reason they did not fight back or struggle.

Note:  Men can be victims of rape and have the same rights to counseling and legal action as women do.

More Links and Articles

from:

"Friends Raping Friends"
Project on the Status and Education of Women,
Association of American Colleges.  April, 1987

see
http://www.rape101.com/handouts/for_men_about_rape.htm
No Copyright (freely reproducible) unless otherwise noted.

Rape Fact Sheet
Rape101.com

An estimated 683,000 adult women are raped each year. (Natl. Women's Study 1990)

Every minute in the U.S., there are 1.3 forcible rapes of adult women. (Natl. Victim Center 1992)

78 women are raped each hour. (Natl. Victim Center 1992) Up to 85% of rapes go unreported. (Natl. Women's Study 1990)

29% of all forcible rapes in America occurred when the victim was less than 11-years-old. (Natl. Victim Center 1992)

61% of all rapes occurred before the victim reached 18. (Natl. Women's Study 1990)

Approximately 75% of rapes are committed by someone the victim knows. (Natl. Women's Study 1990)

Of the cases of forcible rape reported in 1993, only 53% led to the arrest of the alleged perpetrator. (1994 FBI report to Natl. Victim Center)

There were approximately 30,000 sexual assaults of males, ages 12 and over, in the U.S. in 1993. (Criminal Victimization in the U.S. report to Bureau of Justice 1994)

98% of rapists are men. 66% of rapists are White, 30% are Black and 4% are other races. (Report of Felony Sentences in State Courts to the Bureau of Justice 1992)

The rate of recidivism among recently released sex offenders from a psychiatric prison was approximately 76%. (Journal of Interpersonal Violence, Vol. 10 1995)

The average sentence for a rapist is 17 years in prison, the actual time served is approximately 8 years. (U.S. Dept. of Justice 1995)

Out of 1.8 million severe assaults against women in 1991, 45,000 of them were marital rapes. (U.S. Dept. of Justice 1992).
More Stats & Info


Resource Links

~ coming ~

 

Following from Soren's Links.

Consequences for Rapists

The act of rape is a crime: to force another person to commit sexual acts against his or her will. In most parts of the world, if that person is a minor, even if they do consent any sexual contact is yet another crime. It should not need repeating that this applies to acts, not fantasies.

In the United States, the average sentence for those convcted of rape is 10 years. It won't be nice. In prisons rapists and other sex offenders are not well-liked by other prisoners. But of course, rapes happen in prison daily. Ever been gang-raped? Probably the risks for convicted rapists to in turn become the "raped" are high since some think it is justice. The rapists become self-raped.

The Crime of Rape

This info is from the USA in the mid-90s. Statistics vary, of course, but the general consensus is that the number of rapes reported has declined over the past few years (this number is always less than the actual attempted rapes). According to the 1997 National Crime Victimization Survey (a yearly survey of 50,000 households with over 100,000 interviews) there were 194,000 reports of rape or attempted rape the USA. Of these 194,000 reported, 115,000 were completed rape and 79,000 attempted rape -- Criminal Victimization 1997

Relation to
offender
Completed
rape
Attempted
rape
Strangers
22 %
78 %
Non strangers
63 %
27 %

Source: Sourcebook 1995, t313

During this time, 4 of 10 rape attempts never got beyond the attempt stage. The table shows when the offender was a stranger, almost 4 of 5 stops at attempt, compare with 1 of 4 of a non-stranger to victim. The survey done in 1996: 197,000 victims of rape, 95,770 reported to the police, according to FBI.

This means only about half of all rapes are reported to the police. Half of all reported rape are cleared by an arrest. From Sex offenses and offenders 2/97 p 7.

Rape Fantasy: In fantasy you can do anything, be anyone.

Now do know you what happens to a convicted rapist. What about fantasy?

In a traffic-jam, many of you may fantasize ramming the idiot who just cut in front of you on the freeway. Or about strangling their boss, but never do (we hope!).

The only way you can commit rape is in your fantasy. You can "rape" how many women you want and the fantasy-figures being "raped" donīt ever know you did it. No one is harmed. Rape fantasies are no problem - there is a difference, however, between reality and fantasy.

If you feel uncontrollably angry or compelled and fear you may act out and harm another or force anyone to do something against their will -- do the healthy thing and get help.

 

 

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