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August 24, 2006

Get Lost

You can literally get lost at this wacked out website calledVirtually Lost.

A little artsy-fartsy, but I thought I'd share it with you nonetheless.

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Coffee With A Kick

It seems China is taking steps to combat airline dangers by insisting that their flight attendants know kung fu.

To work as a flight attendant, young women, for the first time in the country, are to be required to have martial arts skills, sources close to Sichuan Airlines confirmed this week.

Next Thursday, the airline is to recruit 70 hostesses from Chengdu and Chongqing to work for a new flight route from Chengdu to Seoul in South Korea.

One of the priority conditions for candidates will reportedly be knowledge of kung fu, as staff with such experience are believed to be able to help the airlines further secure its aviation safety.

Perhaps we should adopt some of those requirements here.

Sumo wrestling stewardesses, that's what we should have in North America.

Actually, in Canada, one way to stop disgruntled flyers, or terrorists, from making a$$es of themselves could be to have a drunken b*tches cabin crew.

That'll shut up the jerks on board.

B*tch slap 'em around a little.

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Double The Pleasure, Double The Fun

And, no, this is not about Doublemint Gum.

It's about a man with diphallus, or two penises.

An Indian businessman born with two penises wants one of them removed surgically as he wants to marry and lead a normal sexual life, a newspaper report said Saturday.

The 24-year-old man from the northern state of Uttar Pradesh admitted himself to a New Delhi hospital this week with an extremely rare medical condition called penile duplication or diphallus, the Times of India said.

"Two fully functional penes is unheard of even in medical literature. In the more common form of diphallus, one organ is rudimentary," the newspaper quoted a surgeon as saying.

The surgery was expected to be challenging as both organs were well-formed and full blood supply to the retained penis had to be ensured to allow it to function normally, he added.

I don't know why he'd want to remove one; now he can marry both a donkey and a real woman.

I wonder if he has double the horniness, or double the "sex on the brain".

Fellas, if you were born with two, would you want to remove one? Could you lop off your best buddy?

Ouch.

Now, I think what would really make the news is if a woman with two hoo-hoos wanted to remove one.

What would that be called anyhow? Dicoochie? Multi-Twat?

Previous/Related:
Myrtle Corbin - The Four-Legged Woman
New Delhi: The Wackiest Place On Earth?
Beastiality And Young Love

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August 23, 2006

Don't Fall Asleep, I've Got A Camera

If I had a camera, and a felt pen, I'd screw with you, too, once you fell asleep.

But, there are other weird moments caught on camera at this site:

Stupid People Do Stupid Things.

What the frick is with duck tape dude?

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Domain Names Still Alive

No offense meant to those who suffer from it, but I'm going to have some fun here nonetheless (not that I wouldn't do it anyhow; everything's fair game here).

Go ahead and stake your claim on this domain that I'm about to hurl on you:

SplurgeAndPurge.com

I don't know about you, but I think this would make for a great bulimia website.

And, I guess it's no surprise that the domains listed a year ago are still available.

Get them while they're hot!

Top 10 Domains You Would Expect to Have Been Registered

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Misplaced Children, Cross-Dressing Counsel, And A Couple Of School Foibles

Here are some more wacky news finds, care of Jim.

At commencement this year at Gallatin High School in Nashville, Tenn., the principal had the valedictorian arrested for trying to make a speech that was reserved for the senior class president.[WTVF-TV (Nashville), 5-24-06]

The b*st*rd! How dare he try to steal someone else's thunder. Oh, the shame, the horror of it all. Won't somebody please think of the children?

The Buffalo (N.Y.) News reported skyrocketing absentee rates at local high schools this spring because of a new district policy that the lowest possible semester grade would be 50, even for those missing every class (meaning that a grade as low as 80 for one semester could be averaged with a no-show 50 to reach the minimum-passing grade of 65). [Buffalo News, 6-9-06]

I would have insisted my parents move to Buffalo if they did this while I was in high school. Woo hoo, skipping school and still passing - what could be better?

Duh. Talk about making a mockery of the education system.

More than 70 children got separated from their parents during the Taste of Chicago festival on June 30, but one 6-year-old boy was still unclaimed as of July 7, according to the Chicago Sun-Times, citing a police spokesperson. The boy was eventually turned over to the state Department of Children and Family Services, which found that his family had a spotty record of supporting him even before the festival. [Chicago Sun-Times, 7-8-06]

Hmmm... now where did I put that child of mine?

Hey, we're missing Johnny, where's Johnny? Oh well, he'll show up somewhere.

So, why is it again that we can't enforce a child-bearing application form to parents?

A former police official and current aggressive, respected Wellington, New Zealand, litigator, Rob Moodie, 67, said in July that he is tired of the old-boy network of male lawyers and judges, and that henceforth he will show his disdain by dressing in women's clothes in court. The worse the "corruption" he senses, the frillier will be his outfits, said the married father of three, who also said he happens to like women's clothes, but that it took the pervasive male courthouse culture to bring that into the open. Moodie said already he has enjoyed giving "a flash of lace at the urinal" but said he would keep his trademark moustache. [The Dominion Post (Wellington), 7-25-06]

Some people will use any excuse to go cross-dressing.

I don't know if I'd want him representing me, however. Don't know about you, but he doesn't seem like someone I'd take seriously.

Thanks Jim.

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Dog F*cking Wigs

You heard me, I said dog wigs!

Apparently, this is one woman's dream job... supplying wigs to canines.

The wig maker, who has worked with stars such as Jackie Gleason, Judy Garland and Marisa Tomei, is now designing hairpieces for dogs -- braids, curls, and extensions that can be dyed, highlighted and styled to order for pampered pets.
The creator states that the wigs are "good for any dog that wants to feel sexy."

Ya, 'cause my dogs always suffered with the belief that they weren't sexy enough.

What's next?

Doggy tummy tucks?

Tail implants?

Puppy penis pumps?

Oh, and surprise, surprise, she hasn't sold any yet.

I guess Paris Hilton hasn't heard that she can now decorate her living, furry accessories.

It's only a matter of time before this becomes some f*cked up celebrity fad.

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August 22, 2006

Are You A Geek?

I'm aware that if you are a geek, then you probably already know the answer, but here's a quiz to find out for sure.

How geeky are you?

Here is my Geek Test Result:

You are 27.5% geeky.

The current average score is: 30.61%

Fact: 7.80% of people who took this test wear a bum-bag on holiday.


The following articles have trackbacked this article:

As if I didn't already know... [by DragonLady's World]

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Even Porno Movies Need Sound Dubbing

This may not be suitable if you're at work, but it's darn funny nonetheless.

Here's a porn foley artist worth watching.

As the Defamer says, you can go there to find out "what makes that distinctive balls-slapping-against-ass sound".


The following articles have trackbacked this article:

THE END TIMES ARE NEAR!! [by Still Stacy]
Reason Not to Eat Mayonnaise, #56,478,901 [by Yippee-Ki-Yay!]

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Butt-Faced Bernhard

Lostinlimaohio shares this video and commentary with us on Sandra "butt-freakin'-ugly" Bernhard:


Be sure to "listen for the 'slam the republican women' comment this idiot makes.

*MAC cosmetics have now sliced her comments out of their website video."

LILO, in my opinion, the only thing better would be slicing Bernhard out completely.

Hmmm... you know, thinking about it, isn't it a tad peculiar that all the uglies are moonbats, or is it all the moonbats are uglies? Sheehan, Bernhard, Sarandon, Garofalo, and, of course, Michael Moore.

Well, I guess it's not that odd, but ugh!

Thanks, Lostinlimaohio, for this horrible video.

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New Zealand In The News

If you're heading to New Zealand this few week, you might want to catch the topless pornstar parade on August 25.

A lunchtime parade of topless porn stars down the main street of New Zealand's biggest city has been given official approval, as no laws will be broken.

The parade later this month will feature up to 30 porn stars riding on the back of motorcycles or in open cars through Auckland's CBD to promote an erotica exposition.

It seems that some councilors are upset with the outcome because they were not asked their opinions beforehand:
Councilor Noelene Raffills said the parade would be too distracting for a central shopping district during the busy noontime.

"It is not like a television set you can turn off or a book you can shut," Raffills was reported telling The New Zealand Herald newspaper Tuesday.

Aw, boo hoo.

As if that's such a worry considering it will likely draw in large crowds that would not normally shop there.

I'm guessing that instead, they will gain more shoppers who will be looking in on the parade and shopping afterwards by making a day out of it.

As for other New Zealand news, apparently people there are registering their vehicles as hearses to get discounts on their insurance costs.

Canny New Zealanders have reportedly taken to registering their cars as hearses to take advantage of a loophole giving part-time undertakers a discount on their fee.

Many motorists in the city of Christchurch had managed to slash their registration from the normal levy of $160 to the special $37 rate for "non-commercial hearses," radio station NewstalkZB reported.

It said some road users had successfully argued their vehicle qualified as a hearse because it was used to bring dead chickens home from the supermarket.

My guess is that people like Cindy Sheehan and Paris Hilton could get away with this too, seeing as they're brain dead and all.

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August 21, 2006

The Ninja Text Generator

Ninja!

Ninja!


The following articles have trackbacked this article:

Blue Eyed Squirrel [by Radioactive Jam]

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