-------------------------------------------------------------------- these limericks have self-ref themes but aren't good enough to be put in the "GEB" FAQ Newsgroups: alt.fan.hofstadter,alt.tanaka-tomoyuki,alt.jokes.limericks ;;; TANAKA Tomoyuki ("Mr. Tanaka" or "Tomoyuki") ;;; ;;; e-mail: tanaka@cs.indiana.edu -------------------------------------------------------------------- There was a man from Crete who wrote iambic feet. when someone asked, he said outright: "My limericks are no cheat!" (by TT) -------------------------------------------------------------------- this parody of Lewis Carroll's "Jabberwocky" tells the story of the film "Blade Runner". "BladeRunnerwocky" by TT 'Twas L.A., and the Tyrell Corp. Had replicants to space colonies sent: All robots that won't co-op. Were hunted down for "retirement". "Beware of the skin-jobs, Deckard! Combat bots kill; pleasure bots seduce. Beware Leon, Zhora, and Pris!" A glow did an owl eye produce. He took his Laser gun in hand: (another name for the gun?) VK-tested them one by one. So rested he by a Nexus 6, And dreamt of a unicorn. Bold Roy with J. Sebastian B. Went to his Maker and said brazenly: "I want more life, Pop." Bad answer, the eyes go pop. "Unsportsmanlike" Deckard is chased like a slave. From rooftop falls; by whim is saved. "Like tears in a rain" now Roy is dead. Time to elope with Rachel. Ever since then the debate never ends: The director's cut and the voiceover mends. Is Deckard a bot, or isn't he? Well, read the great FAQ, and you will see. Acknowledgement: many thanks to XXX for help with the line, From rooftop falls; by whim is saved. If you don't mind being named here, please send me email. -------------------------------------------------------------------- There once was a boy, Tomoyuki. Liked nooky and often played hooky. With a yen for big hooters And cookies 'n computers; Grew up to become a true kooky. TT's comment: because so few words rhyme with my name "Tomoyuki", i ended up with a limerick that has no resemblance to reality. yeah, honest! lines in the old PG-rated version: As youth he would often play hooky. He dabbled in computers With a yen for big hooters (thanks to the person who reminded me of "nooky".) -------------------------------------------------------------------- a limerick about NY Times reporter Nicholas Kristof (Kristof is known for racist, biased reporting on Asia.) Disgusting man lives in Japan: Reporter I never can stand. This bigot Kristof Makes people pissed-off. Deport him, or I plan to spam. (by Tanaka) alternative 3rd line: This man named Kristof -------------------------------------------------------------------- There was a young man of Japan Whose limericks never would scan. When someone asked why He replied with a sigh, "It's because I always try to get as many words into the last line as I possibly can." (not by TT) ("Oddities and curiosities of words and literature" (Dover), Page 362) Another young man from Japan Decided to help the first man. "I too hit that snag, but now i can brag: With each foot anapestic, it's less of a problem the line doesn't properly scan." (by TT) -------------------------------------------------------------------- Haiku in English -------------------------------------------------------------------- Haiku in English: it's cute when children do it; stupid for grown-ups. (by TT) (as you can see, rhythmically 5-7-5 means nothing in English. serious translators of haikus into English ignore 5-7-5. see "Le Ton beau de Marot" which explores this idea somewhat.) -------------------------------------------------------------------- Unabomber HAIKUs -------------------------------------------------------------------- i found these on the Net (in ). i don't know who wrote these. some of these are funny. Fun, easygoing Single, white unibomber Seeks same for love, laughs Ted, baleful bomber, Rues Elvis the King's great song "Return to Sender" Technology bad Please tell me you like my beard Or I'll blow you up Ed McMahon of death: "You may already be a winner! Open now!" Bad Unibomber! Blowing people all to hell Do you take requests? Farewell to tenure Sniping from the tower clock Already been done Why can't I get this Stupid computer to print? Time to buy some stamps Should I comb my hair Or should I wear it matted? Judge prefers it combed Remember when you Laughed at his fake fur parka? He remembers, too "Open your present . . . " "No, you open your present . . . " Kaczinski Christmas Its circumstancial All that stuff in my cabin I found it all. Yeah My daddy said BANG When he taught me about sex I misunderstood Ted's fate worse than death: "You're assigned to prison shop. Make computer chips." --------------------------------------------------------------------