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WWF SummerSlam '94
August 29, 2001
United Center in Chicago, IL

Written by: Nykk

Live from the United Center in Chicago, IL, it's SummerSlam '94! Out for no apparent reason is "Macho Man" Randy Savage, who decides to begin every sentence with "Welcome everybody…" He introduces our commentators for the night, Vince McMahon and Jerry "The King" Lawler. They inform us that the Headshrinkers/Million Dollar Corporation match will not be for the tag team titles due to Shawn Michaels and Diesel winning the belts the previous night in Indianapolis.

The Headshrinkers vs. Bam Bam Bigelow & Irwin R. Schyster

The Headshrinkers came out with Captain Lou Albano and Afa, while Ted DiBiase accompanied his team. Fatu and Bigelow started. They locked up and Bigelow immediately raked the eyes. He whipped Fatu into the ropes and gave him a shoulderblock. He picked him up and gave him another. Fatu backed himself into the corner and Bigelow gave him a right hand. He whipped him into the corner and charged, but Fatu moved and Bigelow crashed into the turnbuckles. He turned around and was taken down by a savate kick from Fatu. He covered and got a two count. He tried to slam Bigelow, but the weight was too much and Bigelow fell on top of him for a two count. Bigelow got up and dropkicked Fatu in the back of the head. He went to the top rope but missed the flying headbutt. Fatu bounced off the ropes and clotheslined Bigelow. Samu was tagged in and they whipped Bigelow into the corner and met him with a double savate kick as he came out. Samu gave Bigelow a knife-edge chop, a right hand and whipped him into the corner. Bigelow came out with a back elbow that floored Samu. He tagged IRS, who stomped Samu. He whipped him into the ropes, but it was reversed. Samu put his head down and IRS leapfrogged him, only to be scoop slammed. Samu gave him a hiptoss and followed up with a savate kick that got him a two count. He whipped IRS into the ropes, but was reversed. IRS missed a clothesline and ducked under a cross body from Samu. IRS bounced off the ropes and leapt at Samu, who ducked, sending IRS over the top rope. Fatu got down off the apron and rammed IRS's head into the steps and threw him back in. Samu nailed him with a headbutt and got a two count. He tagged Fatu and they gave him a double knife-edge chop. Fatu whipped IRS into the ropes but it was reversed. IRS missed a clothesline, but Bigelow pulled down the top rope, causing Fatu to be dumped to the floor. Bigelow stomped Fatu on the outside and rammed his head into IRS's briefcase. He threw him back in, where IRS dropped two elbows and covered for a two count. He tagged Bam Bam, who stomped Fatu. He whipped him into the ropes, but Fatu ducked the clothesline. They collided, knocking both men out. They crawled to their respective corners, where Bigelow tagged IRS and Fatu tagged Samu. IRS attacked Samu with right hands, but he responded with rights of his own. He whipped IRS into the ropes and gave him a back bodydrop. Bigelow ran in and got a right hand from Samu, who gave him a headbutt and a back bodydrop. Samu headbutted IRS and nailed Bigelow. He went back to IRS and scoop slammed him. He executed a headbutt from the second rope, covered and got a two count before Bigelow broke up the pin. Samu dumped Bigelow over the top rope while Fatu came in. They gave him a double headbutt and executed what looked like a reverse Russian legsweep, smashing IRS's face into the mat. Fatu went up top while Samu stood in the corner. Fatu executed a splash from the top rope, but DiBiase got on the ring apron and distracted the ref. Bigelow ran back in and took out Samu. Albano got on the apron and got nailed by Bigelow. That brought in Afa, who attacked Bigelow. The ref saw it and called for the bell at 7:18, giving the match to Bigelow and IRS by DQ. The Headshrinkers and Afa gave Bigelow a triple headbutt and then nailed IRS. They Corporation fought back, and they brawled all the way up the aisle.

Leslie Nielson is hot on the trail of the Undertaker (we know this because there are signs posted on the wall that read 'Undertaker Trail'). Two security guards confront him, but let him continue his search after they mistake him for Lloyd Bridges. Nielson finally finds a guy in an Undertaker outfit, but it turns out to be George Kennedy. They argue about who's on the case, but Kennedy notifies him that they're both on the case (he points down and we see that they're standing on a briefcase). No Jokes Needed for this segment.

WWF Women's Title Match: Alundra Blayze vs. Bull Nakano

Nakano entered with Luna and a pair of nunchukus. Blayze entered with a flashy robe and the belt. Jerry Lawler wondered if Nakano could take off her hair and wash it like McMahon. Both competitors reached out for a handshake, but Nakano kicked Blayze. She whipped her into the corner and met her with a clothesline. Nakano tried a powerbomb, but Blayze escaped and bounced off the ropes. She hit a running dropkick on Nakano, but missed the second one. Nakano grabbed her by the hair and gave her a painful-looking spinning hair mare twice. She followed up by slamming the back of Alundra's head into the mat. Blayze tried to fight back, but Nakano kicker her and gave her a clothesline. Bull bounced off the ropes and hit a legdrop, covering for a two count. She locked in a sleeper hold, but let her up after a few moments. She put Blayze's body in between the ropes and pulled back on her hair, stretching the back of her neck on the top rope. She then slammed Blayze's face into the mat and covered for a two count. She whipped her into the ropes, but Blayze jumped up and executed a hurricanrana for a two count. She whipped Bull into the ropes and hit a spinning heel kick. She tried the move again but missed. Nakano lifted her by the throat with both hands and dropped her onto the mat. She choked her with her shin and then applied a modified Boston Crab. Blayze made it to the ropes, but Nakano picked her up and gave her two forearms to the back. She applied a painful move that looked like a combination between a sharpshooter and a camel clutch. The ref made her break the hold after she started pulling hair. Bull distracted the ref while Luna choked Blayze on the top rope. Blayze charged Bull and tried a schoolgirl roll-up, but only got a two count. Nakano countered into a cross armbreaker, getting a one count. Blayze stood up and tried to roll up Nakano, but only got a two count when Nakano put her back in the cross armbreaker. Nakano let her up and whipped her into the ropes. Blayze grabbed her by the hair and slammed the back of her head into the mat. She then bounced off the ropes and did it again. She covered and got a two count. She tried a piledriver, but Nakano powered out with a backdrop. Bull slammed her and covered for a two count, but Blayze bounced up and went into the ropes. She missed a clothesline, but Bull hit one of her own. She whipped Blayze into the corner, but Alundra leapfrogged off the second rope. She executed a backslide for a two count. Blayze bounced off the ropes and went for a hurricanrana, but Bull countered with a powerbomb and got a two count. She scoop slammed Alundra and went to the top rope. She missed the guillotine legdrop, and Blayze executed her German suplex to get the three count on Nakano at 8:17.

Backstage, Todd Pettengill interviews Shawn Michaels and Diesel, the new tag team champions. Diesel: "Maybe my new moniker should be Midas. Because everything I touch turns to gold!" Todd asks Shawn what he thinks about "Sweetness" Walter Payton being at ringside for Razor. Shawn says not to worry because when they get through with them, those two cats are gonna be oh so bitter.

WWF Intercontinental Title Match: Razor Ramon vs. Diesel

Diesel and Michaels arrived first, followed by Ramon and Walter Peyton. Guess which one got a louder cheer from the crowd. Peyton and Shawn exchanged words while the ref made sure everyone went through the sacred ritual of touching the belt. Finally, the match started. Razor flicked his toothpick at Diesel, who ran at him and swung his arm. Razor ducked and pelted him with right hands, using a discus punch to send Diesel to the outside. After some coaching from Shawn, Diesel got back in the ring. He kneed Razor's midsection and elbowed him in the back of the neck twice. He hit Ramon with two forearms to the back and sent him into the ropes for another. He whipped Razor into the ropes, but Ramon hit a right hand and went for a short arm clothesline. Diesel beat him to the punch and sent Razor to the canvas. Diesel went for a big boot when Razor got up, but he ducked and took down Diesel with a clothesline. Diesel backed himself into the corner, where he received another clothesline. Razor whipped Diesel into the opposite corner and charged. However, Diesel got an elbow up and connected with Ramon's face. He shoved Razor into the corner and choked him with his boot, while Michaels grabbed his hair on the outside. Razor fought back with right hands and whipped Diesel into the ropes. He put his head down and Diesel slammed his face into the mat. He whipped Razor into the ropes and applied a sleeper. After a few moments, Razor countered with a back suplex. He bounced off the ropes, but Diesel sidestepped him and threw him over the top rope. While the ref was preoccupied, Michaels got on the apron and removed one of the turnbuckles' padding. Michaels got down and taunted Peyton, drawing him over. The ref stepped in between them, which allowed Shawn to run around to the other side of the ring and launch himself off the steps with a clothesline to Razor. The ref started to count Razor out, and Diesel and Michaels celebrated a count-out win. However, Razor got back in at the nine count. Diesel set him up in the corner and gave him three reverse elbows, followed by three knees to the midsection. Peyton showed the ref the unprotected turnbuckle just as Diesel started to whip Razor into it. The ref stood on the bottom turnbuckle, preventing the move. Shawn got on the apron, drawing the official away. Diesel followed through with the Irish whip and then hit a sidewalk slam. He covered for a two count. He lifted Razor onto his shoulders and dropped him face first onto one of the protected turnbuckles. He choked him on the second rope and did the Bossman-sit-on-the-guy's-back move. He followed up by shoving Razor to the mat by his face and dropping an elbow on his back. He covered and got a two count. Diesel applied a reverse chinlock, but Razor fought his way out. He bounced off the ropes and ducked a clothesline, only to be met with a big boot. Diesel covered and got another two count. He applied an abdominal stretch on Razor and used the rope as leverage. The ref checked when Peyton pointed it out, but Diesel managed to evade the ref's eye. Finally, the ref caught him and made him break the hold. Diesel laid some forearms into Razor's back and whipped him into the ropes. He went for the abdominal stretch again, but Razor countered with one of his own. Diesel used his leverage to hiptoss Razor and escape. He put Razor on his shoulders again and ran toward the unprotected turnbuckle. Razor slid off and sent Diesel's chest into the steel ring. He executed a schoolboy roll-up for a two count. Diesel hit him with a right hand and whipped him into the ropes, putting his head down. Razor hit a kneelift. Diesel went for a clothesline, but Razor ducked and laid in some rights. He whipped Diesel into the corner and charged. Diesel brought both feet up, but Razor slid under them and out of the ring. He tripped Diesel and pulled him back, crotching him on the post. Razor got back in the ring and executed a bulldog from the second rope that got him a two count. He hit a scoop slam and covered for another two count. Shawn got up on the apron and Ramon nailed him with a right hand. Diesel attacked from behind with a double axehandle, but missed a right hand. Razor set him up on the top rope and tried a back superplex, but Diesel elbowed him in the face. He set Razor up for the Jackknife, but Razor countered with a backdrop. Shawn got on the apron again, and Razor went for him. Diesel hit a clothesline from behind and whipped Razor into the ropes, hitting a flying shoulderblock. On the outside, Peyton chased Shawn around the ring. Shawn grabbed the IC belt and tried to get in the ring, but Peyton got the belt and a tug of war occurred. The ref got out of the ring to get the belt from Peyton while Shawn slipped in. Diesel held up Razor and Shawn went for the superkick. However, Razor ducked and Diesel received it. The ref got back in the ring and kicked Shawn out. Shawn tried to get in again, but Peyton grabbed his boot and dragged him away. Razor crawled over and covered for the pin at 15:02. Afterward, Michaels walked away as Diesel woke up and Razor, Walter Peyton and his son celebrated in the ring.

Somewhere in the arena, Randy Savage talks a lot but says absolutely nothing.

Backstage, Todd Pettengill interviews Tatanka and Lex Luger. The results of the SummerSlam poll show that 54% of the callers think that Lex sold out to Ted DiBiase while 46% think he didn't. Tatanka once again accuses him of selling out and they replay footage of DiBiase saying that he struck a deal with Luger, Luger in DiBiase's dressing room and DiBiase bringing a bag into Lex's locker room earlier in the day. Tatanka leaves and Lex denies the accusations. This angle stinks of Russo influence. We have two guys who have no friendly history other than briefly being on the same team at Survivor Series, and they're obviously setting up a Shocking Swerve with Tatanka turning heel.

Tatanka vs. Lex Luger

Both men came out to mixed reactions. When the bell rang, they stood an argued with each other for a few moments. They locked up, but broke it quickly. They locked up again, and went into the ropes before breaking it. They locked up a third time, and Luger got a standing side headlock. Tatanka whipped him into the ropes and Luger hit a shoulderblock. They locked up again and Tatanka applied a wristlock. Luger reversed it, but Tatanka reversed it again. Tatanka chopped at Luger's arm and then applied an armbar. Luger whipped him into the ropes but missed a clothesline. Tatanka hit a cross body and got a two count. Luger rolled him up with an inside cradle and got a two count. Tatanka stood and gave him a hard knife-edge chop. They exchanged right hands, with Luger taking control. He whipped Tatanka into the corner and hit a hiptoss and a vertical suplex. He covered for a two count. Luger bounced off the ropes but missed an elbow drop. Tatanka hit him with right hands and whipped him into the ropes, hitting a powerslam that got a two count. Tatanka started the wardance and bounced off the ropes, taking down Luger with a chop to the head. He did it again and covered for a two count. He executed a vertical suplex and went to the top rope, where he hit a chop to the head for a two count. He gave Luger a scoop slam and went up top again. Luger moved out of the way of the flying bodypress and hit two clotheslines. Ted DiBiase came down the aisle with the bag. Luger hit a powerslam and then saw DiBiase. He went over to jaw with DiBiase, but Tatanka rolled him up with a schoolboy and got the pin at 6:02.

After questioning Tatanka, Luger turned to argue with DiBiase. McMahon: "I wonder what Tatanka's thinking right now." Lawler: "The same thing I am. Luger's stooopid!" DiBiase brought some money out of the bag, but Luger kicked the bag away. Tatanka attacked from behind, revealing to "everyone" that it was he that had sold out. He attacked Luger with chops, clotheslines and the End of the Trail. He hugged DiBiase and they left the ring. Officials tried to help Luger, but Tatanka ran back in and applied the Million Dollar Dream and the money-down-the-throat spot, because no DiBiase-alligned heel turn would be complete without it. Tatanka finally left Lex in the middle of the ring.

Gorilla Monsoon waits for Tatanka on the SummerSlam hotline. He says that Chief Jay Strongbow is pacing up and down the room, so he might not even make it in the door.

In the arena, Lex is helped up the aisle by officials, looking half dead from the tragic, heart-breaking attack. McMahon takes the opportunity to plug the SummerSlam hotline.

Mabel vs. Jeff Jarrett

Entrances were pretty generic other than Oscar desperately trying to keep in tune with the music. Mabel offered a handshake, but Jarrett blew him off. They locked up and Mabel threw Jeff into the corner. Mabel swung, but Jarrett ducked and was so proud of himself that he did his strut. They locked up again and Jarrett applied a wristlock. He wound up the arm tight, but Mabel grabbed his hand with his free arm and beeled him over. Mabel mocked Jarrett by doing the Double J strut. He whipped Jarrett into the ropes, but Jeff ducked a clothesline, ducked a reverse elbow and held on to the ropes to avoid a big boot. Jeff did the strut again, but Mabel grabbed him by the throat with both hands and lifted him into the air. He dropped him to his feet and bounced off the ropes. Jarrett leapfrogged him and then dropped down, but Mabel dropped an elbow on his back. He gave Jarrett a scoop slam and then clotheslined him over the top rope. Oscar started to taunt Jeff on the outside, so Jarrett shoved him into the steps. Mabel walked over, but Jarrett grabbed his leg and tripped him. He slid into the ring and stomped him. He executed a fist drop from the second rope, but Mabel managed to get to his feet. Jeff hit him with two double axehandles from the second rope, but Mabel wouldn't go down. He tried a double axehandle from the top rope, but Mabel caught him in a bearhug. Jarrett escaped after he gave Mabel an eye rake, but two right hands only seemed to wake up Mabel. Mabel gave him a right hand and whipped him into the ropes. Jarrett jumped on his back and applied a sleeper hold. Mabel rammed Jarrett into a corner, but Jarrett climbed to the second rope and launched himself back onto Mabel with the sleeper. Mabel dropped to one knee, but soon got to his feet and backed Jarrett into the corner again. Mabel whipped him into the ropes and executed a spinning heel kick. He covered and got a two count. Up in the crowd, Abe "The Knuckleball Brawler" Schwartz from Brooklyn is holding an "I'm on strike!" sign. Back in the ring, Mabel whipped Jarrett into the ropes but Jarrett ducked under the clothesline. Jeff tried a cross body, but Mabel caught him and slammed him to the mat. He covered for another two count. Jarrett gave Mabel two eye rakes and then went after Oscar. Mabel lumbered outside the ring and held Jarrett for Oscar, who slapped Jarrett into the face. Jeff backed into the post, which prompted Mabel to squish him into it. He rolled Jarrett back in and tried for a splash off the second rope. Jarrett rolled out of the way and Mabel ate mat (or he would have if there was any salad dressing around *rimshot*). Mabel and Jarrett got to their feet and Mabel whipped him into the ropes. He put his head down and Jarrett attempted a sunset flip. Mabel didn't go down and attempted to sit on him. Jarrett moved and Mabel crashed to the canvas. Jarrett hooked the leg for a quick cover and got the pin at 5:56. He exited the ring, but Mabel chased him to the back.

Vince McMahon announces the presence of Leslie Nielson and George Kennedy somewhere in the arena. The spotlight finds them right in front of the entrance ramp. They tell the light crew to cut the spotlight, but a silhouette of the Undertaker appears behind them on the projector-like screen in front of the curtain. The fans tell them to turn around, but they don't take the hint. The screen slides up and they finally turn around, but see nothing. They decide to check it out and leave the arena.

Todd Pettengill narrates highlights of the Bret/Owen feud. They start at Survivor Series '93, where Owen is the only Hart family member eliminated in their match. He argues with Bret, even shoving him. He demands a match with his brother, but Bret naturally refuses. Over the holidays, they are shown making up and get a tag title shot against the Quebecers at the Royal Rumble. Bret hurts his knee in the match, and eventually the Harts lose. Owen berates Bret and kicks his leg out (of his leg) from under him as he gets to his feet. Bret finally consents to wrestle Owen at WrestleMania before his title match, but Owen actually ends up winning. Later on, Bret wins the title while Owen looks on. Then at King of the Ring, Bret has Jim Neidhart in his corner for his match with Diesel. Neidhart gets a little overzealous and ends up getting Bret disqualified. However, he comes out later on and helps Owen win the King of the Ring. It is revealed that it was he who planted all the jealousy in Owen out of his own jealousy that his former tag team partner went on to great things while he faded away. Finally, the family feud will be decided in the steel cage.

Back in the arena, Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler interview Stu and Helen Hart, who are at ringside with the rest of the Harts, while the cage is being constructed. Lawler blames Stu for driving Owen to this. Lawler notices that Davey Boy Smith is in attendance with his wife Diana, Bret and Owen's sister. Then they notice that Neidhart is sitting near the back. They interview him, and he says that he blames Stu for driving Owen to this greatness. Bruce Hart takes exception and argues with Neidhart.

Backstage, Todd Pettengill interviews Bret Hart, who has just recovered from a case of strep throat. Bret assures everyone that the title isn't going anywhere, and that Owen has never been the better wrestler. He doesn't hate Owen, but he knows that this will be a dogfight because this family feud has to end.

Steel Cage Match for the WWF World Title: Bret "Hitman" Hart vs. "The King of Harts" Owen Hart

Both men wasted little time with their entrances. Owen attacked Bret as soon as he got in the door and the match began. He rammed Bret into a corner and gave him some right hands and forearms to the back. He slammed Bret's face into the mat and then put him in the corner for a ten-punch. He gave him a European uppercut that sent Bret to the canvas, and stomped him. Bret got up, but Owen gave him a headbutt, a knife-edge chop and another headbutt. Bret retaliated with an inverted atomic drop and a clothesline off the ropes. Owen got up and raked the eyes. He grabbed the straps on Bret's tights and choked his brother with them. Bret fought back with a right hand, but Owen gave him several rights of his own. He raked the eyes again and tried ramming Bret into the cage. The Hitman blocked, gave Owen a right hand and then a DDT. They exchanged right hands, with Bret getting the better of Owen. He dropped legdrop on him and then climbed the cage. Owen got up and pulled him down. He gave him some right hands and two headbutts. He kicked Bret, who caught his foot, but Owen executed his enziguri kick and then tried to climb the cage. Bret stopped him as he reached the top, and maneuvered him into a back suplex to the mat. Bret crawled toward the door, but Owen grabbed his foot. Bret used the ropes to get to his feet, but Owen started kicking his free leg. He gave Bret some right hands and whipped him into the opposite corner. Bret kicked him in the stomach as he moved in and gave him a bulldog out of the corner. Bret crawled to the door again, but Owen grabbed the foot and launched himself over Bret and to the door. Bret grabbed Owen's foot, pulled him back and jumped for the door himself. Owen grabbed his foot and again lunged for the door, almost escaping. Bret grabbed his hair and pulled the tights to get him back in. Bret dropped an elbow on the back of Owen's head and climbed the cage. Owen grabbed a leg and beeled Bret off the ropes back to the mat. Owen got up and staggered around a little, but tried climbing the cage anyway. He got out of the cage, but Bret grabbed him by the hair before he could drop and dragged him in. They exchanged right hands on the top rope, and Owen managed to knock Bret back to the mat. Bret got up and moved in, but Owen kicked him away and then executed a missile dropkick. Owen kipped up and climbed the cage. Bret got up and grabbed Owen's foot to get him back in and then tried climbing out himself. Owen bit him and gave him some right hands, pulling him back in so they were both on the top rope. Bret hit Owen with some rights and a knee to the midsection. He rammed the back of Owen's head into the cage, which sent Owen back to the mat. Bret tried going out again, but Owen dragged him back down to the mat. Owen hit him with some right hands and tried a piledriver. However, Bret countered with a backdrop. Bret applied a standing side headlock and Owen whipped him into the ropes. Owen dropped down, but they collided as Bret came off the ropes. After lying still for a few moments, Owen crawled toward the door. Bret grabbed his ankle, but Owen still inched closer. Bret got to his feet and pulled Owen up, giving him a forearm to the chest. Owen went down, and Bret dropped an elbow. Bret climbed the cage, but Owen grabbed the ankle and brought him back in. Bret tried to kick Owen off, but Owen yanked on the leg, crotching Bret on the top rope. Owen went for the door, but Bret managed to grab the ankle. Owen tried to kick him off, but Bret dragged him in and spread his legs as if for the Sharpshooter, but gave him a headbutt to the midsection instead. The camera went wide to show the arena, and Bret did something to Owen. I think it was a snap suplex. Bret went to the second rope and tried an elbow drop. Owen moved, and Bret's elbow slammed into the mat. Owen climbed the cage, but Bret grabbed his leg. Owen raked the eyes to escape his grip and climbed out of the cage. Bret went up and grabbed his hair. Owen tried dropping, but Bret hung Owen's throat over the cage by his hair and pulled him in. When Owen got to the top rope, Bret climbed down and beeled him down to the mat. Bret climbed the cage, but Owen grabbed his leg. Bret escaped and got out of the cage, but Owen still dragged him back in. Owen looked like he was about to put Bret in the Torture Rack, but turned it into a reversed Samoan drop instead. Owen tried to climb the cage, but Bret grabbed his kneepad. He got up on the top rope with Owen, who tried to ram his head into the cage. Bret blocked and rammed Owen's head into the cage. Bret climbed over and out the cage, but Owen reached through the bars and was able to pull him back in. He gave Bret a back suplex back to the mat just like Bret did earlier. Owen executed a piledriver and both men were exhausted. Owen got up and climbed the cage, but Bret managed to grab his foot and got up on the top rope with him. Owen gave Bret some rights that sent Bret down to the canvas. However, Owen slipped and crotched himself on the top rope. Bret crawled to the door, but Owen grabbed his foot. Bret tried kicking him off, but Owen held on. Bret rolled on top of him and pelted him with rights. He lunged for the door, but Owen still held on and dragged him in. Owen rolled on top and gave his brother some right hands. He went for the door, almost getting out, but Bret dragged him in and gave him a slingshot into the cage. Dazed, Bret went for the door but discovered he was in the wrong corner of the ring. He found the right corner, but Owen grabbed the ankle and hauled him in. Owen whipped Bret into the corner and fell over from exhaustion. After a few moments, they both regained their feet. Bret tried a scoop slam, but Owen escaped and got a waistlock. He rode Bret into the ropes, but Bret ducked and Owen's head went into the cage. However, Bret's knee also struck the cage. Bret wobbled to his feet and tried climbing the cage. Owen got to his feet but fell over again. Bret got out of the cage, but Owen finally was able to get up to the top rope and drag him in by his hair. Bret hung upside down on the inside of the cage while Owen hit his back with forearms. He brought him back to the mat and whipped him into the ropes, hitting a spinning heel kick. Owen slowly climbed the cage, but Bret grabbed the ankle. Owen escaped from Bret and got out of the cage, but Bret dragged him back to the top rope by the hair. Owen tried to ram Bret's face into the cage, but Bret elbowed him in the face. Owen retaliated with right hands, but Bret brought his leg up and kicked Owen in the face, sending him back down to the mat. Bret tried to get out of the cage, but Owen grabbed his tights and hauled him down. He gave Bret two European uppercuts and whipped him into the ropes. Bret reversed, but missed the reverse forearm, and they collided again. After a few moments, Owen was the first up. He tried getting out of the cage through the corner, but Bret got up and grabbed his hair. He then executed a superplex that took Owen from the top of the cage all the way back down to the mat. Bret crawled for the door, but Owen dragged him in by the leg and put him in the Sharpshooter. After a few moments, Bret grabbed Owen's ankle and reversed it into a Sharpshooter of his own. Owen tried to get to the ropes, but Bret released him before he could get there. Bret climbed the cage and got out, but Owen lunged at him and grabbed his hair, managing to pull him back in. They exchanged right hands on the top rope and both men fell to the mat. Owen crawled over Bret and climbed the cage. Bret grabbed his ankle and followed him over the top of the cage. Owen threw some rights on the outside of the cage and tried ramming Bret's head into the cage. Bret blocked and rammed Owen's head into the cage. Owen went limp and fell, but his foot got caught between the bars, hanging him upside down. Bret dropped down to the outside to win the match at 32:20.

But wait, there's more. As the Hart Family stood and cheered, Jim Neidhart jumped over the rail and clotheslined the British Bulldog and Diana from behind, sending them both over the rail. The Anvil attacked Bret and choked him with his shirt. Owen and the Anvil took Bret back inside the cage, where Owen removed his boot and hit Bret with it. Neidhart chained the door shut and padlocked it while the Hart brothers tried to get in. They tried climbing the cage, but Owen and Neidhart were able to knock them off. Davey Boy Smith tried scaling the cage, but Owen bit his fingers and hit him through the bars to knock him off. They continued the attack on Bret, still knocking off Hart brothers. Finally, Davey Boy blocked Owen's punches and hit him with hard right that sent Owen to the mat. Davey Boy and some of the brothers got in, and Owen and Neidhart immediately climbed out. Davey Boy tried going after Neidhart but only got one of his shoes. Bruce took a few shots at Neidhart on his way out as well. Too little, too late, the refs broke the padlock on the cage with a lock cutter and climbed in. The Harts and the refs tended to Bret while Owen and Neidhart left.

Backstage, Todd Pettengill tries to interview Owen and the Anvil. Owen criticizes the Bulldog's involvement, saying that he wasn't family so he shouldn't even have been there.

Survivor Series ad. Let the Thanksgiving/Football puns commence!

We recap this whole Undertaker fiasco. Back at the Royal Rumble, Undertaker lost a casket match to Yokozuna after nine men interfered, which allowed Yoko to stuff him in the "double wide, double deep" casket. However, Undertaker made friends with the SFX artists and Marty Jannetty prior to the match to make the opposition think he was rising to the top of the arena. Everyone thought the Undertaker was gone for good, until people started reporting Undertaker sightings. In May, Ted DiBiase claimed that he had found the Undertaker and bought him. To prove this, he brought out Brian Lee on the Heartbreak Hotel, dressed as the Undertaker. Paul Bearer claimed that DiBiase's Undertaker wasn't real after he confronted him on Raw, only to have him pulled away at the sight of DiBiase's money. Bearer contacted the Undertaker and even had his light switch friends save him from the fake Undertaker's grip on the King's Court. Then, for the final pre-match word, Bearer appeared on the MediumTron on Superstars and made DiBiase listen to the Undertaker's voice.

In the arena, the Million Dollar Man makes his entrance. He gets on the mic and introduces the Undertaker. The Undertaker comes to the ring and does his usual thing with the lights. When the music ceases, DiBiase gloats until the music starts playing again and Paul Bearer comes to the ring. Behind him are two druids dragging the double wide, double deep casket, which has a new paint job and an Undertaker logo on the lid. When they get to the ring, Paul Bearer has them open it and reaches inside to retrieve the urn, which looks like it gained as much weight as Paul since the last time we saw them. The music stops and Bearer throws off the urn's lid to reveal a light coming from inside. New music starts up and the real Undertaker makes his entrance. He gets to the steps and brings the lights back on with a little more "oomph" than the other Undertaker. Total entrance time: 10:14.

The Undertaker vs. The Undertaker

After the Undertakers were stripped of all their finery, we see the Undertaker was wearing purple while the Underfaker was wearing gray. As they move in for the staredown, we also saw that the Undertaker was about four inches taller. Undertaker made the cut-the-throat motion, and Underfaker swung a right hand. Undertaker caught his fist and kicked him in the midsection. He hit him with a thrust and whipped him into the ropes. He missed the clothesline and the Underfaker hit a shoulderblock, but neither man went down. The Underfaker hit Undertaker with two thrusts and whipped him into the ropes. Undertaker reversed and dropped down. He leapfrogged the imposter as he came off the ropes again and then nailed him with a big boot. He hit him with a hard right and sent the Underfaker outside the ring. DiBiase got on the apron, which prompted the Undertaker to move toward him. On the outside, the Underfaker stalked Paul Bearer. The Undertaker went to put a stop to this and grabbed Underfaker's hair, pulling him to the ring apron. He gave him a headbutt and a right hand, and then applied a choke. He changed his mind and suplexed Underfaker back into the ring. However, Underfaker sat up. Undertaker gave him a right hand and applied a choke, using it to throw him over the top rope. He followed him out and rammed Underfaker's head into the apron. He got back in and pulled Underfaker onto the apron again. However, the Underfaker grabbed the Undertaker and hung him on the top rope. The Underfaker got back in and gave Undertaker two thrusts. He applied a wristlock and went to the top rope, but Undertaker grabbed him by the throat and beeled him across the ring. The Underfaker sat up again. The Undertaker kicked him and applied a wristlock of his own, going to the top rope and walking the ropes. He came down with a clothesline on Underfaker and rammed his head into the corner. He whipped him into the ropes, but Underfaker reversed and sloppily grabbed the Undertaker and dropped him across the top rope. They exchanged thrusts, but Underfaker won the exchange. He bounced off the ropes and hit a clothesline that didn't knock the Undertaker down. He did it again and this time knocked him down. The Underfaker bounced off the ropes but missed an elbow drop when Undertaker sat up. Undertaker hit him with a clothesline, a right hand, a headbutt and another right hand. He bounced off the ropes and tried a clothesline, but Underfaker moved and Undertaker went over the top rope. The Underfaker attacked him with thrusts on the outside and rammed his head into the steps. They both rolled in, where Underfaker hit four thrusts, two kicks and four right hands. Undertaker fired back with a thrust and whipped Underfaker into the ropes. He missed a clothesline and Underfaker caught him with a choke. He lifted him and chokeslammed him. The Underfaker stood over him and motioned for him to get up, but Undertaker didn't sit up until he kneeled down for the pin. The Underfaker hit him with a right and hit the Tombstone. He motioned toward DiBiase as if confused, and DiBiase told him to go for the cover. Undertaker sat up. The Underfaker lifted him for another Tombstone, but Undertaker reversed into one of his own. Not satisfied, the Undertaker pulled him up and gave him another one. Still not satisfied, the Undertaker gave him a third and finally covered for the pin at 9:10. As Undertaker stood up, DiBiase ran to the back, while the druids returned and rolled the Underfaker into the casket, which transported him back to the nether world or something, I guess. Apparently he entered a program that reformed him into a biker, a program the Undertaker himself would one day undergo, and resurfaced years later in the WWF as Chainz.

McMahon sends us to Savage, who once again talks a lot but says absolutely nothing. He gets ready to say goodbye to the audience at home, but gets word of something happening backstage.

Leslie Nielson and George Kennedy find the Undertaker's casket. Nielson is confident that the answer to the mystery lies within. They open it, but there's nothing inside. Kennedy spots IRS's briefcase lying on the floor and since the case is shut, he congratulates Nielson on solving the mystery. Nielson announces that the case is closed as we fade out.

This wasn't a real good show. It's worth a look for the Bret/Owen cage match and the Diesel/Razor match, which was also good. The rest of the card wasn't anything special, however, and the Undertaker stuff was just plain lame.

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