One Year Ago This Week: Before the live show of 18.1.93 even gets
underway, the Repo Man jumps Randy Savage and steals his hat. Mr. Perfect
defeats Terrific Terry Taylor instead of Papa Shango, who is rumoured to
be injured and almost gone. Marty Jannetty wins in a squash. Rerun of
Crush going down at the hands of Doink's lead-filled prosthesis. Ric
Flair and Tito Santana have no decision after Mr. Perfect comes out and
disrupts everything. Flair challenges Perfect to a loser leaves the WWF
match for next week, and he accepts.
WWF Monday Night RAW, coming to you from the Richmond Colesium in
Richmond, VA 17.1.94 (but taped 10.1) and broadcast on the USA Network.
Let us take you back to last week and highlights of the exciting tag team
title match, resulting in new champions.
Why yes, the opening credits ARE over a year old.
Your hosts are Vince McMahon and Crush, who provide all commentary. Via
phone from MSG, your roving reporter Stan Lane will provide news of the
tag team title rematch between the "1-2-3" Kid & Marty Janetty and Les
The Rocket Owen Hart v. Terry Austin - Unfortunately for us, Vince is
drowned out by the crowd noise. You'd have thought that with a week to
dub in some commentary, they'd have done a better job. Of course, Owen
walks to ringside accompanied by his brother, Bret the Hitman. Crush
compliments Owen over and over, which should give you some sort of hint.
Crush also promises not to interfere in tonight's Savage/IRS matchup,
saying "I'm a professional, not a hothead like the Macho Man." Vince
tells us that last week's Monday Night RAW scored the highest ratings
ever. In his first report of the evening, Stan Lane reports that the tag
team champions have "fire in their eyes," even if they haven't started
wrestling yet. If you've noticed, I haven't included any detail of this
match, which should tell you how exciting it is. Owen wins with the
Sharpshooter, and afterwards Vince gets up to interview the Harts. Vince
asks Owen to pick a favorite at MSG, and he says that he "kinda hopes" the
Quebecers are the champions. Vince asks Bret and *he* supports the
current champs and refuses to ever root for the Quebecers, understanding
that they'll probably get a title shot in the near future...
The WWF: Unbelievable! Don't fall for cheap imitations.
Vince hypes the Rumble Royale Hotline. This year Stan Lane will be behind
the curtain interviewing the superstars just before they enter the
ring...oo! Where's my piggy bank?
Tatanka v. George South - Well, I STILL can't hear Vince. Apparently,
South's big move is sticking his tongue out at the crowd. Crush thinks
the WWF has a bunch of no-brain wrestlers, what with all those guys taking
part in a big match just minutes before the Rumble, including Tatanka and
Ludvig B0rga. Stan tells us that the title match has begun and the champs
are unleashing a barrage of offensive manoeuvres. Vince tells us we'll be
able to see some of the drawing "live" on WWF Mania this Saturday.
Alundra Blayze (note correct spelling) spiel. How come she doesn't wear
makeup when she's pumping iron? Obligatory swimsuit pose, still not as
T&A as I would've liked. (I'm KIDDING!) (Maybe.)
Promos: ICOPRO (Ramon), Slim Jim (Savage), Street Fighter 2: Special
Champion Edition Sega carts
Vince interviews Yokozuna and Mr. Fuji (Crush calls 'Zima "my good
friend"). Jim Cornette is at a big press conference in Tokyo. So why is
the American guy in Japan, and the Japanese guy...oh, never mind. Vince
gratuitously drops the word "casket." Fortunately, before Fuji can talk
too much, the bell tolls and out comes Paul Bearer with the new casket.
Crush, amazingly, keeps talking throughout this entire spiel, and not
impressing me one bit. Fuji decides that a good way for Yokozuna to deal
with the casket is to squash it. Of course, we all know that the
Undertaker is inside it. Hoo hah. Geez, Cornette's interview over the
weekend was light years better.
Hype for next week's big match: The Harts vs. The Head Shrinkers. Since
we already know this match has been taped, can we figure out who has the
tag team belts after the Rumble Royale?
Diesel v. Scott Powers (no relation) - Thank goodness, we can hear Vince
now. Vince lumps Crush with Tenryu and Kabuki. Crush promises to throw
out Luger along with everyone else. Vince asks what a Crush/Yokozuna
matchup would be like. Crush says he'd consider it an honor to face his
good friend Crush, obviously forgetting that it's happened before. Crush
mentions he's been in the Rumble before, again, obviously forgetting he
was a member of Demolition then. Stan Lane with another report: he can't
believe Johnny Polo got away with everything he got away with: The
Quebecers have won back the tag team championship belts. Anyway, Shawn
Michaels is present at ringside with Diesel, which should play up the
eventual face turn after the Rumble. Diesel finally wins after dropping
Todd Pettengill with YOUR RRR. This report is brought to you by the RR
program. Get your copy today! Spot the errors! It's the most exciting
night of the year in the WWF, you know. That main event IS a casket
match; one shot only for the Undertaker as he faces WWF Champion
Yokozuna. The tag team championship match is back on with the Harts and
the Quebecers. Intercontinental champion Razor Ramon takes on Irwin R.
Schyster. Tatanka takes on Ludvig B0rga for no apparent reason. And yes,
the big 30 man over the top rope head to head no friends only foes battle
for the title shot at WrestleMania X. Who's in it, you ask? Here's that
list, for the last time (whew!): Crush, Kamala, Owen Hart, Mabel, Scott
Steiner, Shawn Michaels, Diesel, Adam Bomb, Bam Bam Bigelow, Randy Savage,
"1-2-3" Kid, Fatu, Samu, Bret Hart, Rick Steiner, Bob Backlund, Greg
Valentine, Billy Gunn, Bart Gunn, Rick Martel, Bastion Booger, Marty
Jannetty, Doink, Jeff Jarrett, Tatanka, Ludvig B0rga, Tenryu, Kabuki, and
Lex Luger. This Saturday's WWF Mania will be live from Providence, and
you'll see some of these folks choose their numbers.
Let us take you back to last week's cake fracas.
Promos: Rage in the Cage Sega CD, Bicycle Playing Cards, Spiderman +
X-Men Sega carts
The Macho Man v. Ad Break - As Vince calls Savage the Joe Montana of the
WWF and as Savage threatens Crush, we take that ad break. Yeah, like
Savage is really gonna fly from the top rope and splash the commentators.
Well, it WOULD gain him some respect from me.
We miss out on Schyster's speech, of course. They go right at it.
Schyster gets the upper hand quickly. Savage is driven into the buckle.
Irwin drops the elbow. Shoulderblock. Crush: "I HATE the Macho Man!"
Schyster takes Savage out and gives Crush a thumbs up. Savage meets the
apron, then the STEEL steps (or is it his briefcase on those steps?) Then
Schyster straightens his tie. Savage grabs a chair and comes back.
Before he can get to Crush, or Irwin, or whatever, referee "Blind" Dave
Hebner wrests it from him. Everyone back in the ring, and Savage delivers
an atomic drop and a couple clotheslines. Irwin's out and we'll take an
When we come back, Irwin is dropping Savage on the retaining barrier, just
like Crush did. This time, Savage didn't bite his tongue. Savage is
pulled back in by the lack of hair. Suplex into the ring. Slow cover for
only 2. Boring sleeper that doesn't work. Schyster goes back to
pounding. Legdrop for 2. Savage attempts a small package, for 2.
Schyster resumes the sleeper, Savage backs him hard into the turnbuckle.
Savage whips IRS into the turnbuckle, but Schyster backs away and Savage
slams the corner. 2 count for IRS. Again he tries the sleeper. Savage
manages to throw Irwin out, by the tights. Savage with axehandle from the
apron to the floor.Savage punches Irwin then goes for Crush and actually
gets a shot on him before Hebner and IRS get to him. Showing great
presence of mind, Crush stays put, although he is standing now. Irwin
drags the Macho Man back into the ring before we take another a last ad
When we come back, Schyster has Savage in an abdominal stretch and is
getting some leverage with that rope. Irwin goes outside, but Savage
comes to and brings him back in the hard way. Savage climbs to the top,
but Irwin punches him instead. Schyster with headlock, Savage gets a foot
on the ropes. Bodyslam by Irwin. Irwin goes outside again, and this time
actually makes the leap, but lands on Savage's boot. 2 count for Savage.
Savage drops Schyster's neck on the top rope. Bodyslam by Savage. Savage
climbs the top rope, but Crush has had enough. He pushed Savage off the
turnbuckle and goes after him. Crush and Schyster double team Savage.
Crush throws Hebner!!!! Bill Alphonse comes out but helps out Hebner
instead of breaking it up. Tatanka comes out to help and goes down. Out
comes Yokozuna. I guess this is a mini Royal Rumble, 'cause the
Narcissist has come out. Who's next? Yep, there's Shawn Michaels, and
Diesel. Even Vince is calling it a mini-Royal Rumble. Bret Hart comes
out (big crowd pop). Hart destroys everybody as we fade out.
The Royal Rumble is Saturday!! Get excited!!