One Year Ago This Week, on RAW: The first episode of a brand new
WWF Program, Monday Night RAW, was broadcast live from the
Manhattan Center in New York City on 11.1.93. The commentators
were Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, and Rob Bartlett, a WFAN
"personality" on Don Imus' morning show (I think). Sean Mooney is
outside, and his only duty is to deny Bobby Heenan entry, who
disguises himself as, among other things, a woman (Bartlett's aunt),
and a rabbi (Bartlett's uncle). Yokozuna squashed Koko B. Ware.
Bobby Heenan tries to sell us the mysterious "Narcissus," who will
destory Mr. Perfect for turning on him as well as Ric Flair. The
Steiners squash the Executioners. Razor Ramon hypes his upcoming
title match with Bret Hart at the Royal Rumble. Max Moon just loses
the Intercontinental belt as rumors of his firing were being bandied
about on r.s.p-w. The Undertaker defeats Damien DeMento (I miss
him). And, while interviewing Doink, Vince has to deal with a
surprise visit from Crush, who chases the evil clown around the ring.
The one year anniversary of WWF Monday Night RAW, coming to
you "live" from the Richmond Colesium in Richmond, VA 10.1.94 and
broadcast on the USA Network.
Let us take you back to two weeks ago, where Pierre helps Johnny
Polo defeat Marty Jannetty. Let us take you to one week later where
Jannetty challenges Polo to a Quebecers/Jannetty & Kid matchup for
the WWF Tag Team Titles. Polo/Quebecers interview. The "Quebecer
Machine" will destroy "Confetti and the poster boy for Pampers."
Your hosts are Vince McMahon and, by special dispensation from
WWF Prez Jack "Solomon" Tunney, the Macho Man Randy Savage
(THIS is the big surprise? Eych.)
Les Quebecois v. Martyr Jannetty & The "1-2-3" Kid for the tag team
titles - The good guys enter to the Rockers theme. Jannetty and
Jacques start. Jacques with general pounding, Jannetty counters with
a head scissors into a bridge for 2. Both men consult with their
partners. Jacques applauds Jannetty's move. Back into the corner
and it's Jacques with the knee in the gut. Jacques whips Jannetty,
who makes him miss in the corner for another 2 count. For no good
reason, both men tag. Pierre knocks the Kid down. The Kid leaps
over Pierre several times and delivers a spinning kick. 2 count.
Let's call him the "1-2" Kid. Jacques is tagged in. Pierre comes in
during the headlock. Jannetty comes in to save his partner and the
four man brawl is on. Somehow, the Quebecers collide in the ring,
and both roll out. The crowd goes wild. After an extended huddle,
Jacques comes back in, and then tags Pierre. Jannetty is in for the
good guys. Pierre with arm bar and pounding on the arm. Tag to the
Kid. Double back body drop. Jannetty throws the Kid onto Pierre.
Jacques comes in and gets dropkicked. Again both Quebecers are
outside the ring. Polo calls for a timeout...wait, they're both leaving.
Well, that's it, right? No, they're walking back. OK. After jawing
with the commentators, Jacques enters the ring. Jannetty is in.
Headlock by Jannetty. Lots of leaping 'n' stuff, which ends with a
punch in the head by Jannetty. Jacques runs to his partner, putting
his head underneath Pierre's legs (make your own joke here). Let's
take an ad break.
When we come back, Vince shares with us what happened over the
break. Jannetty appears to get a three count on Jacques, but there
was a foot on the rope. Luckily, a second official comes out to let
referee "Blind" Danny Davis know what's going on. Then he
disappears. Back to live action...if you call it that. Nothing is
happening. OK, Headlock by Jannetty on Jacques. Whip into the
ropes, and Pierre pulls the top rope down so Marty can take a spill.
Pierre throws him back in. unfortunately, Jacques nails his partner
instead of Jannetty. The Kid is tagged in and does the house afire bit
on Jacques, then climbs to the top and somersaults to the floor on
Pierre. The Kid clotheslines Jacques and climbs to the top for
Jacques. Meanwhile, Polo has taken Marty to the aisle and is
working him over, distracting the ref so that Pierre can push the Kid
from the top rope to the apron. Jacques stomps on the Kid while
Pierre gets back to his corner. While Jacques distracts the ref, Pierre
chokes the Kid on his tag rope. Tag to Pierre. Double lift, landing the
Kid's neck on the ropes. 2 count. Pierre with repeated punches to
the back of the head as we take an ad break. Apparently, Vince
didn't notice and the director forgot to put up a "...will continue"
When we come back, Pierre is destroying the Kid. Tag to Jacques.
Elbow for 2. Vince can't believe the Kid is kicking out. Bodyslam by
Jacques. Tag to Pierre. Jacques throws Pierre onto the Kid. 2 count.
Tag to Jacques. Slap in the face. Tag to Pierrre. While Jacques trips
the Kid, Pierre clotheslines him. Pierre with headbutt. 2 count.
Bodyslam by Pierre. Tag to Jacques. Dropped elbow. Impressive
looking piledriver. Tag to Pierre who does his somersault off the
ropes squashing the Kid. Oh no! They're going to do it again!
Jannetty comes in and Pierre falls to the floor. He hits Jacques, and
tries to wake up his partner. He's back in the corner. somehow, the
Kid makes the tag. Jannetty does the house afire bit to both
Quebecers. Double noggin knocker. Jannetty gives a shot to Polo.
Jannetty with suplex to Pierre as the Kid comes off the ropes. 1, 2, 3.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have new tag team Champions. Savage
leaves the table to present the belts to the new Champs, who talk out
into the crowd to celebrate.
Memorable moment: An unknown with "L. KID" on his trunks
defeats Razor Ramon.
Jim Ross with YOUR Rumble Royale Report. Hey, ANYTHING can
happen on Monday Night RAW, you know. The Rumble is less than
two weeks away. So, who's in that Rumble thing? Here's the list of
all thirty participants: Shawn Michaels, Diesel, Doink, Bret Hart,
Owen Hart, Bam Bam Bigelow, Bastion Booger, Billy Gunn, Bart Gunn,
Rick Martel, Crush, Tatanka, Adam Bomb, Samu, Fatu, Randy Savage,
Ludvig Borga, Jeff Jarrett, "1-2-3" Kid, Marty Jannetty, Greg
Valentine, Scott Steiner, Rick Steiner, Kamala, Mo, Mabel, Bob
Backlund, Lex Luger, Tenryu, and the Great Kabuki. Apparently, the
last two are Fuji's mercenaries. I guess it's better than watching
Tenryu stand around like he did last year. He did get one ghetto
blaster in on DiBiase, though. So anyway, there's the main event for
the WWF Championship: in a Casket match, Yokozuna is taking on
the Undertaker. Razor Ramon is putting the Intercontinental Belt on
the line against Irwin R. Schyster. The Harts are taking on the
Quebecers for no titles, now. Tatanka and Ludvig B0rga are going at
it, so they may get two shots at each other. Whee! I can't wait! I
can't....well...ok, I can wait two weeks.
Promos: ICOPRO (Ramon), Slim Jim (Savage--new), Street Fighter 2:
Special Championship Edition Sega carts
Ludvig B0rga v. Ad Break
Memorable moment: Jerry Lawler destroys Tiny Tim's ukelele after
Tim refers to the Burger King as "the Dairy Queen."
Oh yeah, B0rga's wrestling. Brad Anderson (no relation, we presume)
has a typical "I have no chance but I get in a few moves anyway"
match with the Hellraiser from Helsinki while Lex Luger, via phone,
tells us how happy he is to finally be in the Rumble Royale. For an
encore, he congratulates his good friends Kid & Jannetty. Anderson
goes down in the Human Torture Rack.
Let us take you back to WWF Superstars (McMahon, Lane) where
Yokozuna wins his handicap match with the banzai drop. Suddenly,
the lights go out and...well, you know. That video wall sure is
spooky, isn't it? I love the way, Yokozuna looks up when he's scared,
like there's a casket flying over his head or something.
Memorable moment: Doink douses Bobby "the Brain" Heenan with a
bucket of water, ending his career as we know and love it (Doink, not
The Undertaker v. Ray Hudson - Golly! He controls the lights! That,
unfortunately, is almost as exciting as this match. While I have you
here, have you noticed how they never refer to the Undertaker as a
former WWF Champion? Oh, listen, Vince tells us that John Madden
is in negotiations with Jack Tunney. Riiiiiiiiiiiight. If you can believe
it, the Pale Destroyer wins with the tombstone piledriver. So, does
'Taker fit in the double-wide, double-deep casket?
Let us take you back to last week's MNR as Booger and Bigelow have
a difference of opinion (McMahon, Polo). Hey, I just noticed that
Booger has bigger breasts than Luna Tunes!
Hype for next week's big match: I.R.S. vs. the Macho Man.
Bastion Booger v. Bam Bam Bigelow - Booger is already in the ring so
we don't get to hear his music. Bigelow rushes Booger and pounds
him repeatedly. Booger is whipped into the riopes at 1 mph. Booger
drops Bigelow but misses the splash. Bigelow goes back to work and
chokes Booger on the ropes. Slow whip. Booger ducks out and
Bigelow does a Flair flip out of the ring. Luna Tunes blows kisses to
Booger. Booger gets out and walks towards her. I don't believe it.
Oh, good, it's just a ruse. Bigelow axehandles Booger from behind.
Booger meets the steel steps. Back in the ring, Bigelow tries to slam
Booger, but drops him on his back instead. Then he DOES slam him.
The crowd is impressed. Headbutt from the top. 1, 2, 3. Geez, how
one-sided and short. I guess this is a Good Thing. Booger comes to
and tries to hit on Tunes again. She slaps him and Bigelow pounds on
him some more. Well, I don't THINK Booger is a face just yet...I guess
we'll know more later.
Promos: WWF Rage in the Cage Sega CD games, Bicycle Playing Cards,
Addams Family Sega carts
Locker room interview with the Quebecers and Polo. Polo is
practically in tears. Jacques reminds Polo that there's a rematch at
Madison Square Garden next week.
Memorable moment: Kamala chases Kim Chee through the crowd.
Look carefully for Rob Bartlett.
There's a cake on the table. I personally can't believe Bastion Booger
just ignored the fact that there was a big sheet cake on the
commentators' table. Anyway, Irwin R. Schyster comes out and jaws
with Savage. I guess this means no one gets a piece of cake, since
Savage decks him with it. Gee, I'm going to bust a gut laughing.
See you next week!