Home
Home
 

Login

User login

Login

'Sneak King' Review (Xbox/Xbox 360)

|

Sneak King BoxIn-game advertising has come a long way, because though it used to be just simple billboards placed in a game or a licensed song from a band on a specific label, things are turning to the more extreme now, so that we're seeing advertising coming first with the videogame following second. With Burger King's new line of games, exactly that is happening, but does that necessarily mean there is no fun to be had?

I like Burger King food – I don't have to be sold on it. When I make a trip it is always two singles and a strawberry shake with nothing varying unless I want a chicken nugget to go for the next day. So when I heard about the Burger King games, I bought what I needed (a Value meal) and bought the game for a cheap $3.99. Up third was Sneak King, and after playing it I about wanted to throw up my Value meal all over it. Yes, it is that bad.

Sneak King's main character (and only character) is that of the Burger King mascot himself, as he aspires to be the next Solid Snake or Sam Fisher. Do I even need to tell you he fails horribly at trying to achieve that level of stardom? I'd love to see The King placed in one of those actual games, and then watch as he is plugged with so many bullets after trying to step a foot with his so-called "sneaky maneuvers." Or better yet, put The King, Snake, and Sam Fisher into a room, and just let them snap his comical (and yet amazingly creepy) neck and then proceed to just hit and kick him over and over.

There are 80 challenges in the game, but for your sake I hope you put down the controller at least before you've finished 10 of them, because otherwise I do believe I'd have to question your sanity (or lack thereof). There are also several levels that you can unlock by completing half the quests on the level before it.

If you remember the early commercials featuring The King, they always dealt with The King sneaking up on someone to give them Burger King food. In Sneak King you'll do exactly the same thing, as you'll go looking for hungry people so that you can surprise them with food. I'd say there is more, but there isn't. Sure, they'll change the requirement up a bit, such as getting higher flourishes (aka watching The King dance) or by surprising someone with food by jumping out of something (such as barrels or leaves) at the same time. You get higher scores based on how close you are to the person, if you are hiding or not, what flourish you did, how hungry the person was, and if they are part of a chain or not.

Hiding In TrashIts hilarious that the word "sneak" is even in the game, because if The King tiptoeing in the bright of day actually works as a sneaking tactic, then I'm going to go to the nearest bank and rob them blind just by wearing a stupid costume and tiptoeing. Most sneaking games have pretty sophisticated AI, such as picking up on footprints in the snow, investigating sounds they hear, following blood trails, etc. In Sneak King, each NPC character has a tiny field of vision, represented by blue shadows on the ground; as long as The King doesn't pass in that field cone then he won't be caught. Literally, just to screw around to see how bad the game is, I walked right beside the character I was going to jump at, and not once did they catch me or notice me, simply because I wasn't right in front of them like that carrot waving in front of that donkey. I then jumped behind them to give them food and they acted sooooooo surprised (yes, it deserves that many Os).

Who greenlit this game? I know it's nothing more than a glorified advertising, but at least the other two (one more so than the other) managed to at least make the game pretty fun; Sneak King is just a laughing joke. I actually think this could currently be the worst game I've ever played. Though the game sucks and deserves nothing more than to be thrown in the garbage, it works as a source of inspiration, because if something like this filth can be made, don't give up hope about designing your own game one day. Heck, mount this sucker on the wall and look to it daily as a message of inspiration, so that you'll always know that deep down in your heart, at least you are better than Sneak King.

Rating: 1star
Our Scoring System