Hypothetical question — If you're a cheating dog who lives with his wife, yet spends most evenings fielding cellphone text message and emails from your little bit on the side, do you...

Hard as it is to believe, Japan has been hit by yet another round of computers self immolating — this time it's the desktop variety that are cashing in their chips.

At Christmastime, what better way is there to spread peace and goodwill to all mankind than through the humanitarian deeds of the world-renowned USB Humping Dog?

Most folk outside Europe and Asia probably don't realize it but our fishy friend the squid makes some darned fine eating — raw, with a little lemon, grilled with butter, whatever; it's all good. Even the guts are tasty.

SK Pang's foot-tall kit robot, Gogic Five, rocks so hard he has trouble staying upright. What, with karate kicks, fist-of-fury punches and a little hula dancing this metal kid has the world at his feet.

The outrage — how could they? One of those USB ports in the video is clearly exposed for the world and his wife to ogle. Filth.

Don't you just hate it when big companies take legal action that seems to rest on assumptions that their customers are morons? This story about RIM suing Samsung over the use of the word "Black" in the Korean firm's BlackJack smartphone is a perfect example.

After at least one false start, Thursday this week sees Japan finally get a Motorola RAZR to call its own when DoCoMo launches the M702iS.

This is fantastic — I've lost count of the times I've been forced to watch Honda's idiot robot Asimo trundling around 'bot shows and press events, so it's wonderful to see him get his comeuppance at last.

If you're in Japan, really desperate to stream video over the 'net from your home PC and can't be bothered hooking up a Slingbox, then Buffalo's Itsu Demo TV II Skype relay solution is a good way to burn through ¥12,800.

It may be ugly as get out, but Korean firm Miu's new UMPC seems fairly feature packed.

Mitsubishi seems rightly proud of its latest take on the problem of how to deal with all the nasty brown sludge that flows beneath our city streets.

Apparently it's cruel to laugh at the misfortune of others but when it involves car drivers trying to sneak into bus lanes and getting their cars wrecked by steel posts...

Japan's legions of smelly old men in bad suits are tilting at windmills again, as the country's copyright-protection groups and various entertainment-related bodies band together to attack YouTube yet again.

Next time you need to blast sweet messages of love into the heart of our planet's only moon, get someone else to do the dirty work please.

What looks like a jellyfish with flowers on its tentacles, smells like a smoking-hot piece of audio gadgetry and tastes like the sea?

Next time you fancy getting the theme from The Godfather or Close Encounters as a cellphone ringtone, just be careful where you buy it — you could be helping put the seller behind bars.

Chin Music Press produces some of the most entertaining books around and does it with style aplenty, so when they have a Christmas sale you'd better get moving PDQ.

In a shock move, the PlayStation godfather, Ken Kutaragi, has been eased out of his position as president of Sony Computer Entertainment Inc. (SCEI) and will be replaced by Kaz Hirai, the head of SCEI's US division.