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Buy a printed copy of this book so that your eyes don't get radiation poisoning





Looking for the sequel? It's HERE.




Already hooked, and trying to pick up where you left off? Find it HERE.



"...like being run over by a truck made of horror,
hauling two tons of stupid..."




A message from the writer guy:

A NEW EDITION IS COMING, HALLOWEEN 2006. Unless I die or something.

Also, you can stop demanding a paper copy of this story because I have now put one up on CafePress. It's a large paperback, 9.25 inches tall and 7.5 inches wide. If you're not sure how big that is, find something in your house that's 9.25 x 7.5. It's that size. The paper edition is a result of a six-month editing and revising and polishing process that hopefully has not made the novel worse.

Of course, you can still read it for free right here.

If you're new, by being here you are part of a sort of word-of-mouth phenomenon, this link getting passed around from inbox to inbox as people feel the need to inflict JDATE on others. This originally appeared as a piece on my website, in installments over the last few years. Tens of thousands of people have read it through to completion and the feedback has been almost ridiculous:



Thank you. Seriously. To everybody who's e-mailed me their nice compliments, everyone who has passed this link around to their friends and chat rooms and message boards, thank you for your support. Keep circulating the link.

-David Wong
davidwong@pointlesswasteoftime.com

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INDEX

PROLOGUE
The basement, the meat, the towel, Whitesnake.
Page i - ii

Chapter 1
The levitating Jamaican
Page 1 - 2

Chapter 2
Something in John's apartment...
Page 3 - 4

Chapter 3
Grilled by Morgan Freeman
Page 5 - 6

Chapter 4
The Black Stuff from Planet X
Page 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

Chapter 5
Riding with Shitload
Page 11 - 12

Chapter 6
Meet Dr. Marconi
Page 13 - 14 - 15 - 16

Chapter 7
A dead guy, another dead guy, another guy who's made of roaches
Page 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21

Chapter 8
The Mall of the Dead
Page 22 - 23 - 24 - 25

Chapter 9
Amy
Page 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30

Chapter 10
The Shadow People
Page 31 - 32 - 33 - 34 - 35

Chapter 11
D-Day
Page 36 - 37 - 38 - 39 - 40

Chapter 12
John Dies at the End
Page 41 - 42 - 43

Epilogue
Basketball
Page 44 - 45 - 46 - 47 - 48