Googles ten things

January 03 2007

From Googles :

Never settle for the best
“The perfect search engine,” says Google co-founder Larry Page, “would understand exactly what you mean and give back exactly what you want.” Given the state of search technology today, that’s a far-reaching vision requiring research, development and innovation to realize. Google is committed to blazing that trail. Though acknowledged as the world’s leading search technology company, Google’s goal is to provide a much higher level of service to all those who seek information, whether they’re at a desk in Boston, driving through Bonn, or strolling in Bangkok.

To that end, Google has persistently pursued innovation and pushed the limits of existing technology to provide a fast, accurate and easy-to-use search service that can be accessed from anywhere. To fully understand Google, it’s helpful to understand all the ways in which the company has helped to redefine how individuals, businesses and technologists view the Internet.

1. Focus on the user and all else will follow.
well focus on the user clicking on adwords, because the spam in the serps is way too hard to fix these days

2. It’s best to do one thing really, really well.
that’s why we developed and worked really hard on just Google Search, oops and Gmail, Calendar, Maps, Checkout, Talk, Video, News, Web Accelerator in fact nearly 40 other products and what we can’t do we will just buy bwhahaha

3. Fast is better than slow.
that’s why we push stuff out that’s in beta with security holes

4. Democracy on the web works.
unless we think you have been buying links then, dictatorship works better

5. You don’t need to be at your desk to need an answer.
because we are everywhere, on your TV, Radio, Mobile phones everywhere I tell you, everywhere !!

6. You can make money without doing evil.
hehehe …. the good old days, before Stock Holders and Google Jets

7. There’s always more information out there.
But hell we will find it and put ad’s on it of course

8. The need for information crosses all borders.
erm .. why do you think we did the deal with the Chinese

9. You can be serious without a suit.
infact if any of our Googlers turn up in suits, then they are much too grown up to work in the Plex or play with the other children, oops Googlers

10. Great just isn’t good enough.
we want to be FUCKING AWESOME !!



Matt Cutts to leave Google ?

January 02 2007

Reading between the lines and maybe I’m off a little, but when Matt say’s things like :

I love working at Google, but at some point my wife is going to wake up and smell the coffee. She’ll say “Hey, we agreed we’d try this Google thing for four or five years, and then I’d get to pick what to do next. It’s been like eight years now! When do we move on to our next adventure?”

My Gut feeling is Matt is looking at letting all the little Cuttlets down gently, Matt what ever you choose I wish you luck, And my offer to come to the Darkside is always open lol :)

so my money is on Matt funding some open source project ;)


This Sucks : Miles in Hospital

December 24 2006

Update: Miles got home for Christmas day, although I had to take him to hospital for 2 hours just to get an antibiotic booster.. which we have to do until 27th .. anyway it turns out he had Viral Pneumonia.. so he is on the mend 6 weeks time we should have the all clear :)


Ok Miles is my 6 year old son.. and last Wednesday took ill with abdominal pain and feeling sick.. at first I thought Tummy bug.. so I had a couple of days off work to look after him.. ( the joys of both parents working together, and Becky is much more important to the company than ME)

Anyway after a few trips to his doctor we found that he Blood and Protein in his wee. (That’s Bad) could be Kidneys or Liver problems.

So He taken to Hospital where he still is, I found out last night that he actually he has Pneumonia Basically an infection of the lungs. he is on an 48 hour cycle of IV antibiotics so …. Fingers crossed and I find out in 2 hours if i get him home for Christmas or if he needs another 48 hours in hospital.


btw you should be able to tell because I’m writing this and not beside his bed that Miles is on the mend and nothing to worry about now, I just know a few friends knew and needed updating.. so Have a Good Christmas and I will see you all in the New Year


VW Camper Van for the gumball

December 20 2006

I have found it.. Dax check this baby out, head to head with a AMG C32 (Mercedes), just watch that splitty go !!


Harrogate VW Camper Vans

December 20 2006

Ok I live in Ripon thats like 5 miles away… Damya if you guys need hosting or design give me a shout :)


Life without a SearchEngine

December 20 2006

I love stuff like this .. stats .. this is without Search engine traffic ( 4 days worth)

Hits Entire Site (Successful) 956,218
Average per Day 47,810
Home Page 9,027
Page Views Page Views 106,058
Average per Day 5,302
Average per Unique Visitor 5
Document Views 86,192
Visits Visits 26,765
Average per Day 1,338
Average Visit Length 00:09:25
Median Visit Length 00:01:50
International Visits 62.02%
Visits of Unknown Origin 33.11%
Visits from United Kingdom 4.86%
Visits Referred by Search Engines 110
Visits from Spiders 1,543
Visitors Unique Visitors 19,524

Volkswagen VW Camper Van

December 19 2006

If i had a Volkswagen VW Camper Van, ME and DAX are doing the Gumball3000 .. hell yer baby …

Volkswagen VW Camper Van


I guess it’s all about adsense

December 19 2006

Google has axed the web services API. This sneaky moved was made without any announcement, but of you go to the page now you get a fuck you message, from the 5 December hmmm not sure it was like that last week … , Anyway SOAP API is no longer supported. and we have to use the crappy not working properly AJAX with ads built in which is surprising because the last time a saw someone playing with it they where walking the link to the site to see if the pages still existed,, bring clickbots


PS: See this post on The Register for more information on this story and some interesting links.

Edit from Rob:

Bloody Google corporate money-grabbing whores! The search works fine for placing G-search on your site, but it’s not useful from the server at all. Parsing out the JSON from the response and reading it is all well and good, but it’s certainly not reliable and I see many “magic” numbers which I suspect will be difficult to calculate in a non-JS language. Personally I’d embed SpiderMonkey if I needed to (or better - use a sneaky “evaluating JS as Python in a clean environment” trick), but this is beyond the reach of the majority of developers

What Google have done is effectively put a stop to ALL mashup-type applications using Google’s data, which is supposed to be a pillar of Web 2.0. The SOAP API was great because it enabled average developers to use their creativity to make some really interesting applications. Remember that imagination and programming ability are skills rarely seen in abundance together.

G are probably trying to accomplish two things with this move:

  1. Increase ad revenue by allowing them to embed Adwords in APIs. Alright, fair enough hands-down that will certainly work.
  2. Prevent people like us from scraping SERP positions an all that nasty stuff from the APIs. Sorry, that just isn’t going to happen. Organisations that want to do this via the new AJAX API can and will do it. As I’ve said, it’s not overly tricky for a paid programmer who can afford to throw a few days at it. This is only going to hurt the creative people who make the great mashups.

Sigh.. that’s enough ranting from me. Obviously I’m pissed because this is going to waste a lot of my time. One more thing I’ll say is though: Google seem to have found a way to do cross-domain AJAX. I don’t really have the time to work out how yet, but I suspect they’re laying down <script> tags in a similar fashion to the premium Adsense program (output=js). If anyone has any info on this it would be great.


Dadamobile fuck you

December 19 2006

dada dada dada how I hate thee and Let me tell you why.. I pushed some traffic at them and Dadamobile still owes me money..

now it’s not vast amounts but hey it’s the principle :

Dadamobile - Program Closed GB-06-03273 16/07/06 663.00

That’s when dadamobile closed at Tradedouber, Funny thing is that CJ paid their Bill .. hmm ..

so what options do I have?… link bomb Dadamobile or try and get the community to make this post rank for dadamobile ;)


added .. they still run PPC,, fuck me there is a test right there BWHAHAHAHA … Bad people.. beers are on me ….. good people get out of that market place :)

It’s my birthday

December 19 2006

Added Yes I’M 39

and man the world looked pretty today ..

Morning at daves

that’s 7am in Ripon today, seriously is that just amazing or what ?



Volkswagen VW Camper Van

December 19 2006

I so love the style of the VW Camper Van . and I guess my family are starting to see this..

A few months ago my wife Becky, got me a VW camper van keyring and today it’s my Birthday. Miles and Ethan ( my sons ) bought me a VW camper van “dude” moneybox, and Jen (my sister) got me another VW camper ..

VW camper Keyring /></p>
<p><a class=VW camper Moneybox /></a> </p>
<p><a class=old VW camper


Tag I’m It - 5 Things You Never Knew About Me

December 18 2006

So here goes… Shoemoney tagged me to tell you 5 things that you didn’t know about me…

1) Sad things make me cry, and I’m not afraid to show emotion, ask Jessie she made me cry in Chicago

2) I used to be a boxer, ask Shoemoney I broke his rib in Chicago

3) I’m not allowed a VW Camper van, apparently it’s just a mid-life crisis I’m going through.. :(

4) I hate my weight, and I am not self confident about my appearence, but love beer and food too much so who gives a Fuck hey

5) The best thing that has happened to me in my life has to be; please Select 1 from below

a) my wife & kids - if you’re my wife reading this
b) having the tour of the GooglePlex and meeting Larry & Sergey - if you’re Matt / Vanessa reading this
c) watching England at the World Cup - if you’re Tim from Yahoo reading this
d) Christmas dinner at my Mum’s - if it’s my mum or dad reading this
e) eating mexican triangles - if you’re Shawn Hogan reading this
f) shopping for kids stuff - if you’re Jenstar reading this
g) creating / analysing reports - if you’re a client reading this… :)
h) speaking at SES - if your Danny Sullivan reading this
i) omega watches - If your NFFC reading this
j) the invention of the VW camper van - if you’re my wife reading this
k) spitting coffee on my keyboard due to drive by AIM’s - if you’re Mr Mackin reading this
l) knowing that I’m a dickhead - if you’re RCJordon reading this
m) porn on the web - if your’e ChrisR reading this
n) having a totally awesome dude as a friend - if you’re Dax reading this
o) changing a guerrilla into a monkey - if you’re Greg reading this
p) the invention of the split screen on camper vans - if you’re my wife reading this
q) being Driven back to my Hotel in a Hummer - If your Dillsmack, Shogan or Shoe reading this
r) being top of the Tickme League - If you’re a Lovely Lady That Ticked ME ! reading this
s) drinking Real ALE - If you’re 4eyes reading this
t) cheating in a graphics competitor - if you’re Mivox reading this ( and you know i won ;) )
u) just been able to be there for my friends - If you have ever needed me and I was there for you
v) being lucky and being in the right place at the right time
w) Finishing Mario Bro’s on the DS - if your Miles or Ethan reading this
x) Getting a playstation, playstation 2, xbox, DS, Xbox360 - yer I can’t settle on a console wiiiiii
y) Msn messenger, AIM and skype for making it possible to chat to friends any time
z) I mentioned Camper Vans Didn’t I - just incase ;)


hmm I will think who to Tag later