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But aside from the slightly racist stereotyping of Mario and Luigi as food loving, NY fat bodies with ridiculous Italian accents, was there anything really insidious behind the scenes? The staff here at Communist-Mario.com has found something more... something... sinister... lurking behind the mustached countenances of Mario and Luigi. We don't have enough evidence to prove anything, just a sparse trail of bread crumbs to follow. And this trail begins with the game that started it all, Super Mario Bros. Beware, brainwashed fools, for this stunning exposé will change the way you look at your favorite Nintendo hero forever. No longer the innocent Brooklyn plumbers, it now appears Mario and Luigi are nothing more than communist puppets engineered to program, oh so subtly, Marxist ideals into our impressionable young minds!
If anything can be said about Mario, it is that he seems to wear quite a bit a red. It’s on his name, it’s the color of his suspenders, his super mushrooms, his flag, even his hat. But maybe this is all just a string of coincidences. Maybe the color red being all over Mario and his games means nothing. After all, he's not entirely red - his hair, shirt and shoes aren't....
Is this just a random occurrence by the Nintendo programmers, or was red selected intentionally and with purpose?
The inhabitants of the Mushroom Kingdom are portrayed by Nintendo as slow-witted, poorly coordinated beasts of burden. Even Toad, who oddly enough gets captured in every world, seems only able repeat a singular phrase. While Mario is supposedly fighting against a tyrannical Despot, we can see how expendable the people become when they hinder Mario’s bloodthirsty pursuit for power.
While Mario’s quest to save the princess seems genuine enough, we find ourselves easily distracted from the real result of this adventure- the deposition of the current monarchy. Few notice the significance of the villain of this game, King Koopa, being an actual king.
Video game heroes are traditionally people we would like to emulate. Sonic the Hedgehog is fast and quick-witted. The Contra commandos are total badasses, even if they die in 1 hit. And Link wields a cool sword and has a harem of hot fairy bitches waiting off of him. What kid worth his legos wouldn't want to be any of these fine role models? Why then, as their flagship hero, does Nintendo choose an overweight, big nosed plumber with an ungainly mustache and ridiculous suspenders? Why was this, the most unlikely heroic figure, chosen? Unusual yes…but deliberate?
Looking at the evidence in light of this new Communist hidden agenda, the answer for this mystery is obvious. Mario, and his short-lived brother, are none other than cartoon representations of Joseph Stalin. Stalin was Russia's amicus humani, amor patriae or communist super man. So could this "super" Mario represent another "super" man? Well, that is for you to decide.
Based on the evidence, a sinister new picture emerges about our cherished childhood hero. What follows is a dramatization, based on what we believe is really going on in Super Mario Bros.