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What’s Up With Back Page?

by arnold on February 1st, 2007

We’ve been noticing a lot of Shitty material on the New York Apartments section of BackPage (Real Estate classified area in the Village Voice Online) lately and have begun to wonder, what’s up with that?

The sections are clearly defined… apartments, no fee apts and by owner apts. pretty straight forward, right? Well, if you click to the no fee apt or by owner apts you’re bound to see a lot of Shitty Brokers freely posting apartments for a FEE. This sucks and we’re surprised BackPage lets it happen so blatantly.

Here are some examples we’ve seen over the last few days:

So what’s up with the garbage on your site, BackPage? Care to explain? You can’t just let Shitty Brokers run rampant like that on your site. Even Craig’s List doesn’t let that happen. Think of your visitors here and clean up the real estate section, please.

Note to Building - Do Not Let My Ex-Boyfriend In!

by arnold on January 31st, 2007

no ex boyfriends

Shitty Habitats . . . Shitty Ex-boyfriends . . . it’s all the same.
If it’s attached to an apartment in NYC it’s Shitty material, no doubt.

Today we received a few images and some dictation of a wonderful little post-it note found on the door of a building down in SoHo. As harmless as it sounds, this was no ordinary note on a door…

The note reads:

HELLO, I live in -apartment # removed-. My ex-boyfriend used to live w/ me. He snuck in last nite Sun 28th, to harass me. Please don’t let anybody in with u if they don’t have keys, he is tall brownish curly hair, usually wearing a long coat or leather brown/orange jacket w/ a black hoody, plz don’t let him in, Thanks -name removed-.

After reading that we couldn’t help but laugh and sympathize at the same time. We know it costs more, and you might not be able to stay in the neighborhood you want to be in, but if you’re planning on breaking up with a psycho boyfriend then we at Shitty Habitats recommend you relocate to a doorman building. That being said, we commend you for taking the initiative to expose your ex-boyfriend to the rest of the building and now, potentially, to the rest of the world.

Meet Krome & Gabby of Apartment 6G

by jenna on January 30th, 2007

The Upper West Side offers pristine residences like The Dakota, The San Remo, The Majestic or The Beresford for the elite. But if you can’t afford to spend upwards of $10 million on a home, don’t worry. You can still experience the luxuries of living on the UWS by moving into nearby buildings.

Like 186 West 80th Street for example, just a block away from The Beresford where you can experience the joy of being robbed, amongst other things, by current tenants; Gabby Pertle & her pimp Krome, of apartment 6G.

It turns out Krome and Gabby were advertising an apartment for rent on the Upper West Side in the apartments by owner section of Craigs List. The deal looked good enough on the surface and the kicker when you got there was even better; a straight-up ass whooping and prompt relief from all your personal valuables. What’s better than that?

Have a gander at two of new york city’s finest citizens above… and if you happen to come across Krome in the street and get your ass kicked, don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Courtesy of Craigslist - meet your neighbors (actual ad below):

Please be carefull there is a girl & her pimp robbing people at 186 W. 80th
Apt 6G. The names are Gabby Pertle & her pimp goes by Krome.
Please be carefull & call police if u are contacted by them!!
there # is 646-209-0068
They are both illegal in the country.
Posting ID: 268827492

Teddy from Gateway Plaza in Battery Park City

by jenna on January 30th, 2007

Thinking of moving into Gateway Plaza located in Battery Park City? What happens when your lease is over and you want to move out? Should be simple enough, right? Wrong!

You inform the management company that you are moving, but they forget to put your name on the list. Once you finally get your name on the list, the doorman requests to hold your key until you move all of your belongings. What happens when the doorman’s shift ends and he leaves with your key?

This happens:

  • You try and get your key back, but everyone refuses to help.
  • Fake phone calls are made by other employees to the missing doorman inquiring about the key.
  • The missing doorman returns the next day and pretends to call the police on you for clearly being too persistent.
  • The key is still not returned.
  • Actual police happen to be nearby and are informed of the problem by you.
  • The missing doorman lies to the police and your key magically turns up and gets returned.

Only a day later and a surplus of lies to retrieve the key that shouldn’t have been taken in the first place.We love Shitty Management here at Shitty Habitats!

Read the actual story Warning:

I was moving out this past weekend. And the management office messed up and did not put me on the “list” to move out, to haev a driveon van to take my furniture out. I myself am vacating the premises on January 31st as is my roommate, but I needed the weekend to actually have time to move out furniture. Suffice to say, i was able to get on the list, but “Teddy” in building 100, the doorman there, took my key from me, saying he woudl give it back when i was doen moving my stuff out, which did not make sense, but I didnt want to argue, as he was irrate. He left at 4 (ish) when his shift was over, and no one else who took over knew where my key was. And no one would look. They “called” Teddy and he did not (he says he called back, but I think that is BS as no one ever came to tell me he called back). The next day a secutiry guard named “Saharid” (that is the name he said, it could’ve been something else) interjected as i went to talk to Teddy to get my key and subsequently upset my brother who told him to not get involved (and rightfully so). Teddy went on to yell at my brother and then “called” the police, which it turns out he didnt actually do (eventhough he dialed SOMEONE and was talking to SOMEONE), because the police were THERE in the plaza a little while later and i stopped them to talk to them and they had never received a call from buildilng 100 (they were there for something in buildilng 300). Teddy panicked, came over to talk to them and “lied, flat out lied, about what happened and said he was so nice, etc. I have a LITERAL video recording on my phone about how horrible he is. After about 20 minutes of people screaming, me standing in the middle just wanting my key, Bi-Polar Teddy went and got my key. So, if this is the sort of stuff you like to deal with, i.e. poor management, miscommunication among staff, TEDDY, and incompetent/disrespectful security guards, then by all means live here. OH and my neighbor on my floor actually smoked IN THE HALLWAY outside of his apt. The only nice thing about this apt, was the view from the 35th floor.

The One Time Registration Fee

by jenna on January 29th, 2007

The one time registration fee that provides access to search a database of endless available apartments may seem to be the ideal situation as compared to paying a 15% broker fee in Manhattan. An affordable low fee averaging at $150 is rather enticing claiming to provide no fee listings from endless landlords and owners. However, more often than not the claims are just that and bear no truth to them. Immediately after one makes an inquiry on an available apartment on the site, the response is always the same;

“Oh, it was just rented” or “Oh, it was just taken off the market. The landlord/owner…”

And suddenly your one time low registration fee is no longer a bargain, but a scam.

Time and again the apartments listed on various one time registration fee sites are a substantial amount below market value and offer too many amenities that would be feasible at that price. Renters should be wary of listings of that quality as the majority are fraudulent.

Still have faith in these sites, believe your smarter than that or have your lucky rabbit’s foot or four leaf clover near by, then read this before you sign up for the one time fee.

Deep in the Heart of Texas

by arnold on January 26th, 2007

(names changed to protect identity)

We received a tip today from Laurie, who had her identity stolen and used in a new Real Estate Scam found on Craig’s List. The scammer used Laurie’s name (she works in real estate here in Manhattan and has an excellent reputation) to place ads in the NO FEE SECTION of Craig’s List. Here’s how it went down when we answered the ad…

Ad Title:

$1510 / 2br - 2 Bed - Beautifully renovated ! (Upper East Side)

-begin correspondence


Hi, I’m interested in this apartment, is it still available? Thanks!

a-hole says:

Hello ,Thank you for your interest. I have available the apartment but now Im in Texas. This is the reason that I want to rent it. I can rent you the apt for max 5 years because I have a contract here for this period. Im the owner of the apt and its like in the pics. The rent for 1 month is $1510 including all utlities (water,electricity,internet,cable and the keys overnight. You can move in the apt in the same day when you receive the keys.

Here are the apt’s pics : http://pictures.aol.com/galleries/rdhth8.

If you agree this deal please e-mail me your full name and address where I have to ship the keys and I will send you all payment process and the contract.

Have a nice day,

-name removed-


Great! Can I speak to you over the phone about the details of this arrangement?

a-hole says:

I would love to speak with you by phone but I can’t because Im deaf-mute person and I teaching in TX for a deaf-mute school. I told you that first you can send the money on your friend or relative name not my name for prove me that you are a serious and you really have this amount for rent my apt. In the same day I will ship you the keys and the contract overnight. After you will receive the keys and you want to keep the apt you have to resend the money on my name. If you don’t want to keep the apt you can withdraw the money or the receiver (your friend ) can pick up the transfer . I hope that’s safe for you because you don’t send the money on my name until you will make a decision.


OK, that’s wonderful you are giving back and teaching people in a similar situation to your own… as for the apartment, are utilities included? Will the rent skyrocket after I move in? And how would I go about paying you for this? Thanks again for all your help!

a-hole says:

The rent is stabilized. All utilities are included in the rent and the area are very safe. Please send the advance ($1510 including all fees) using MoneyGram service because its easy for me. I will support all MoneyGram fees (you don’t have to pay extra money) . Here are few MoneyGram locations near you home where you can send the money :-removed because it’s a non-issue

My full name and address is : -removed-, 855 E Ash Lane, Euless TX 76039.

If you don’t trust me you can send the money on your friend name and after you will see the apt and you want to keep it you have to resend the money on my name. Its very safe for you because I can’t pick up the funds until you will resend the money on my name. The contract is attached and don’t tell to the moneygram agent about this deal because I have to pay extra fees.

Keep in touch,

-name removed-

Ps. The transfer must be available until you will receive the keys because until I will ship you the keys I want to verify if the money are available.

Ps. The apt address is : 68 Bank Street, Upper East Side (cross street: 83RD & 84TH) and the pets are allowed.

-end correspondence

Considering the broken English and the shout out to MoneyGram, it’s fairly easy to tell this is a scam right off the bat. Even so, Laurie, the owner of the name this scammer was using, received multiple phone calls about this property from people who were smart enough to Google her name. This tells us that people are reading these ads and this a-hole is probably duping someone, somewhere, right now.

To make matters exponentially worse for Laurie, we later found out that this person in fact did not simply use her name in these dealings, but also stole her identity in full. Laurie’s bank account has been drained and she now has to go through the process of taking her identity back.

All thanks to a scam that originated somewhere Deep in the heart of Texas