A friend of mine works for a really amazing non-profit in L.A. called The Alliance for Children’s Rights that provides legal services for kids (foster kids, homeless kids, sick kids, etc.). This week they’ve organized—and I say this without hesitation—one of the coolest fundraisers ever. They bought up a bunch of 1950s paint-by-numbers canvasses and had famous artists transform them into new, weirdo, totally rad pieces of art. They’re all for sale on eBay and 100% of the proceeds go to the Alliance (i.e. to helping a kid get a house or an operation or a mom).

I know precious little about art, but I love love love this idea. And people tell me that these artists are famous:

“the most sought-after artists of the Pop-Surrealist, Lowbrow, Graffiti, Outsider, Urban, New Fine Art and Contemporary Movements including Mark Ryden & Marion Peck, Tim Biskup, Gary Baseman, Todd & Kathy Schorr, Camille Rose Garcia, Michael Hussar, Shag, Clayton Brothers, Shepard Fairey, Andrew Brandou, Gary Panter, and Miss Van”

Heiko Mueller Before:

Heiko Mueller After:

Gary Baseman Before:

Gary Baseman After:

Cool, right? You can browse all of the before and afters here and bid here.

(COMEDY) With a brand-new show on Comedy Central and growing legions of worshippers, Sarah Silverman is totally hot shit right now. Tonight she brings her sexy/dorky Jewess-with-a-killer-rack-and-Tourette’s shtick to the Showbox. Fans of horrifically incisive wittiness better have tickets already, as the show is sold out. Beg, borrow, or steal a ticket to find out if Ms. Silverman can manage to shock an audience that’s hungry for shock. (The Showbox, 1426 First Ave, www.ticketmaster.com. Doors at 6 and 9 pm, 21+.) DAVID SCHMADER

The refusal to numb his subject with deference, the relevant self-revelation, the last line. All reasons to read.

Here’s a sample from The New Yorker critic’s latest, on Tintoretto:

But he and his populous workshop also perpetrated some of the grimmest daubs—murky and slack—that you ever rushed past with a shudder. I realized, too late, that my puzzlement was a warning. Now I feel that I have acquired a brilliant, neurotic, exhausting friend who enjoins me to undertake on his behalf campaigns that he bungled when their conduct was up to him.

Understand: I’ve always been afraid of being hit in the mouth. I’m a wuss, and got picked on in school and all and was always freaked out by it: What if he hits me? But tonight was an apotheosis. A watershed moment. I just got punched in the mouth—and it was nothing.

I was walking home from a party, just a block from the Stranger offices (which is why I’m here Slogging about it). I saw two young dudes and an old dude getting ready to fight. I stopped. I watched from across the street. The old dude kept saying “I’ve lived! I got nothing to lose! You want to see what it’s like to be a real gangsta? To fuck somebody up?” The young dudes said some stuff I couldn’t hear. The old dude said: ”I’ve already killed somebody! You don’t know how it is!” First Dude took off his jacket. I kept watching. Second Dude picked up a piece of metal from the street and began to chase Old Dude, who ran away.

I ran, from across the street, shouting “don’t hit the old man!” The young dudes stopped. Old Dude kept galumphing away. I said to them: “It’s not right to beat up an old man; He’s just an old man.” Young dude said: “But he thought we was gay and he was hitting on us and shit.” And I said: “Okay, you’re not gay. It’s cool, it’s fine, but it’s not a fair fight, two young dudes against one old dude. He’s an old man.”

It went on this way for a couple of minutes, in what I thought was a friendly conversation: He thought we was gay. We’re not gay. Fine, you’re not gay. But don’t hit an old man with a piece of metal. But he thought we was gay! Okay. But don’t beat him up. I was about to ask him his name, shake his hand, say goodnight.

Then, in the middle of the (repetitive) chatter, First Dude took a step back and then an earthquake—a rumbling in my ears. I never even saw it coming. Then a pain in my mouth. I touched my hand to it and saw blood. All I could think to say was: “Why?”

“That’s why!” First Dude said. (I still don’t understand what he meant.) Second Dude snickered the snicker of a man damned to live his life as a second-in-command.

“Okay,” I shrugged. I stood and watched them walk away while I spat blood on the sidewalk.

And now I feel great. All those years of being petrified of getting hit—I didn’t fall, I didn’t wobble, my teeth are intact. A total sucker punch and I’m fine. Just a bit of blood and a split lip. Nothing to it.

Watch out, bullies of the world—it’s taken almost thirty years, but now I’ve been hit in the mouth and I realize it’s nothing.

I’m not scared of you any more.

I’ll be on David Goldstein’s radio show at 7 p.m. tonight, talking about the wild court-martial of Lt. Ehren Watada.

Tonight the Tacoma Art Museum opens its Northwest biennial. The show is a mixed bag with definite highlights and lowlights. (What else is new about a biennial?) Alex Schweder recreates—in a heap this time—his spit-and-packing-peanuts casting of his bathroom in Rome for the entry of the museum. SuttonBeresCuller put a boat in the middle of the museum, for what appears to be no reason other than to uphold their title as the Northwest masters of the big Koonsish gesture (yes, I realize there is a “stone wave” under the boat: so? somebody help me here?).

But one of my favorite pieces in the show (vying for that title with Jeffry Mitchell’s Turtle Wedding and Daniel Attoe’s Twin Peaks-inspired paintings-within-a-painting) is Victoria Haven’s wall drawing made for the show, from her new Rabbit Hole series. The mysteriously oriented shape is made with colored tape offset by the barest hint of paint, raising the possibility of shadows. This is an object existing in some realm ungoverned by three-point perspective.

^{An installation view of Rabbit Hole #4 (2007) by Victoria Haven}

Today at the Henry Art Gallery, another notable traveling show opens, Elusive Signs: Bruce Nauman Works With Light.

For Nauman’s influence alone, he is a figure whose work is always worth seeing. This exhibition, organized by the Milwaukee Art Museum, is not comprehensive in tracking his body-based, task-oriented, studio-centric, playful career thus far: instead it focuses entirely on neon. This decision makes it a more pointed, political, and aggressive show than a full retrospective would be, especially tucked away as it is like a beautiful, dangerous captive in the subterranean galleries of the Henry.

I’ll write more about the show later, but in the meantime, I’m going to be posting occasional images. Part of the reason is that they won’t get out otherwise, and they’re striking. The Henry can’t use them for advertising because they’re licensed through Artists Rights Society, which charges exorbitantly. But editorial use is unlimited, so we’ll start here.

^{My Name As Though It Were Written on the Surface of the Moon (1968)}
At the Henry, this hangs on a white wall, and the effect is much more innocent (the letters look much more white), which seems apt, since it was one of Nauman’s first-ever video works. (The Henry is also showing an early video of Nauman manipulating a neon tube, which wasn’t ready at the press preview, but which should stop the gap felt in this show of Nauman’s actual presence, which is so often a part of his work.)

He started working with neon partly because it was cheap and he was poor, and he became attracted by the neon beer signs in the windows across from his San Francisco storefront studio. This piece, according to Liz Brown, Henry curator, has not been seen in a window (instead of on a wall) since it was in Nauman’s studio storefront, glowing out toward the beer signs.

^{The True Artist Helps the World by Revealing Mystic Truths (Window or Wall Sign) (1967)}

Now the state says it isn’t reviewing the city’s Tunnel Plan B.

Question 1: Does this mean the state will also scrap the (“Oh, gee, how’d that materialize?”) starry-eyed elevated review that was in the works? ( Rumors have been circulating that WSDOT was going to announce a cheaper elevated option when it released its tunnel hack job.)

Question 2: Is this just a stunt by pro-rebuild/anti-tunnel WSDOT to send a message that: Nickels’s plan is half-baked … without actually crunching the numbers?

Man, as delicious as it is to watch Team Nickels get completely faced—hearty comeuppance for the last 20 months which began with that see-through dose of anti-monorail opportunism followed up by months of hapless tunnel hypocrisy, I must say, WSDOT and the state are even more frustrating.

Latest example: Today’s PI reports: “[Gov. Gregoire’s spokeswoman Holly] Armstrong says Gregoire’s concern has always been about safety and getting something done. ‘She never had a preference,’ Armstrong said, adding that it was clear the city was biased in favor of the tunnel.”

Never had a preference? Listen to this audio of Gov. Gregoire’s December 15 press conference, where she says: “This would be an easy decision for me, candidly, if cost was not a factor. I would find that the tunnel was the preferable option because I think it embraces the values of the city and its future.”

At the time, she was dealing with the $4.6 to $5.5 billion tunnel option (“cost is a factor”). But Team Nickels has claimed to have cut $1.2 billion off that price tag. If Gregoire, candidly, preferred the tunnel, why not go ahead with the review of the cheaper tunnel plan?

Sigh. Cosmic comeuppance, I guess. Just as Mayor Nickels ditched a project he said he once supported (the monorail) by not giving a fair hearing to the cheaper plan in 2005 (because it wasn’t politically expedient), Gregoire seems ready to let political expediency bury her preferred option, the tunnel.

Wimpy Mayor. Wimpy Governor.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I actually agree with Team Nickels’s spokesperson Marianne Bichsel today. From this morning’s Seattle Times:

Marianne Bichsel, a spokeswoman for Nickels, said Friday that without oversight from the panel, any upcoming reports by the DOT lack credibility. She said the DOT is caving to political pressure by anti-tunnel House Speaker Frank Chopp, D-Seattle, and others.

“Clearly, they’re scrambling. I hope they will acknowledge this process has fallen apart,” she said.

For the role of Anna?
The strangest scenes in the movie will involve Zsa Zsa and a prince.

(ART To celebrate the 100th anniversary of nothing, the artists who run Crawl Space asked two museum curators (Liz Brown and Bruce Grenville) to create a group show from a nationwide call for artist submissions. The result is five mini solo shows: tracings on the wall of the wall’s serious imperfections by Janet Lee of Redmond; Portlander Storm Tharp’s inky portraits in the style of mid-century celebrity photographer John Deakins; German-born Christoph Gielen’s haunting photographs of buildings as social beings; Mike Calway-Fagen’s documentations of unexplained performances; and a suite of sweet drawings of a daddy longlegs losing one leg at a time, by Justin Gibbens of Seattle. (Crawl Space, 504 E Denny Way, 322-5752. Noon—5 pm, free.) JEN GRAVES

and

(DRAG-QUEEN FASHION SHOW) Remember that documentary Paris Is Burning? The one Madonna ripped off “voguing” from—that unforgettable glimpse inside the seedy, glamorous, and impossibly FIERCE drag scene in underground New York? Of course you do. Xtravaganza is a one-night-only homage to that film, that spirit, and those infamous “balls.” DJs Post-Op, Jay Jack, and Ursula “Labeija” Android will spin the tunes, and there’ll be a very special performance by Jackie Hell La Face. Haute trannies, fashionistas, and all the legendary children—start planning your outfits NOW. There’ll be a sure-to-be-shady fashion runway walk-off and the door cover varies from $1—$7 depending on the ferocity of your attitude and your ensemble. Think gold lamé, girl. Bring the REAL. (Chop Suey, 1325 E Madison St, 324-8000. 9 pm, $1—$7, 21+.) KELLY O

My ridiculously talented brother — and former Stranger cover artist (here and here) — Michael Paulus has a piece in a show called Modern Home #3405 opening tonight at No Space Gallery.

Here is the blurb he sent me:
Ian Butcher of Roy McMackin’s Domestic Architecture and who helped design Western Bridge in Seattle is curating a small, group show based on traditional, architectural models. Each of the nine artist/teams was given the same plan views of a modest, factory home (from the 30’s?) called “The Franklin”. Other than that its a free for all.

His piece he described simply as “a house within a house.”

Opening is from 7-10 at No Space Gallery, 507 E. Mercer St. (corner of Summit and Mercer).

Michael will be the guy who looks like a white, retro Ben Kingsley. Here’s a shot of him with his barometer collection.

More of his multi-disciplinary work can be seen here.

Has everybody already heard this band, the Vicious, from Umeå, Sweden? (I assume not, but I have to ask because I’m an ignorant, ignorant square.) During my few weeks of running around the rock clubs of Europe (which made me more thankful than I realized for the Seattle smoking ban), everyone was going nuts for these Vicious guys. (You can listen to some of their songs here.)

They’re born of a Swedish Umeå scene seeded with money from the International Noise Conspiracy and they’re a guilty goddamned pleasure—all the clichés of punk rock rolled into a beautiful, candy-coated package. The band members are all sweet-smelling and well-pressed and polite. Sweet home Umeå (just a few klicks south of the Arctic Circle) has something like the lowest crime rate in the world, but they sing about “the pigs kicking in doors and breaking bottles.”

I’m not a fan of authenticity for its own sake—the quest for The Real is one of the most stupidly quixotic wastes of time in art, especially in punk and hiphop—but it does seem a waste to have such a great band write about such vapid lyrics about irrelevant subject matter.

They should write songs about Sweden, where everyone is attractive, speaks five languages, and has great style. Or about nationalized health care.

They could name their next single “Democratic Socialism Built a Little Ghetto in My Soul.”

Watch it here.

I like the first half of the commercial—sarcastic messages (“Pedestrian-friendly retail!”) superimposed above images of a larger new viaduct, traffic, and stores dwarfed by the viaduct. But the last part, which features a glittering new “open” waterfront accompanied by the sounds of docks creaking and gulls crying, is a little misleading.

Not Another Elevated Viaduct, the redundantly named anti-viaduct group, started out as Citizens for a Better Waterfront—a Nickels-backed pro-tunnel group. The commercial all but encourages a “no/yes” vote: “Vote NO for another viaduct; Vote YES for your waterfront.” (Nitpick: wouldn’t that mean if you vote no you get another viaduct?) The Stranger Election Control Board encourages you to vote no on both measures. Here are a few reasons why.

I haven’t started drinking early this Friday, but is it just me or are the Slog’s blues bluer and blacks blacker? It just looks, I don’t know, more vibrant and shimmery to me right now.

It’s the League of Women Voters’ annual guide to all your representatives—from city hall to the U.S Senate—with contact info for all of them.

Just send an e-mail to info@seattlelwv.org.

This has been (and still is) my favorite publication for eight years.

I was just grousing to myself there isn’t a lot of interesting action on next week’s state House legislative calendar (unless you count regulating cell phones and text messaging while driving; regulating body piercing; and regulating card games). And then wham, I get an announcement from the Seattle Displacement Coalition that their bill to cap condo conversion, mandate tenant compensation, and regulate timing of construction is getting a hearing on Monday.

Sour grapes: This is an issue where I do wish Stranger-endorsed Stephanie Pure (until recently a lifelong renter who was booted from her apartment last year when it got converted to a condo) was in the state house instead of K&L; Gates attorney Rep. Jamie Pedersen (D-43, Capitol Hill, U-District, Wallingford), who owns a fancy house on Capitol Hill.

Pedersen e-mailed supporters of the bill the following statement: “As a resident of Capitol Hill, I have heard about these problems from friends and constituents and am very interested in providing reasonable protections for tenants who find themselves in this position. I do not, however, support allowing local jurisdictions to impose moratoria on condo conversions. I suspect that local politics might cause that power to be exercised with unpredictable — and perhaps unpleasant — consequences on the housing market.”

I’m sure Rep. Pedersen has heard about this tenant issue from friends and constituents. Indeed, there were 2300 condo conversions in Seattle in 2006, a 450% increase over 2004. Three thousand nine hundred affordable rentals were lost in that time. And the average price of the new condos is $250,000.

Sigh.

Meanwhile, there actually is some interesting business in the House next week: Hearings on the death penalty; hearings on eminent domain; and hearings on expanding health care.

I haven’t looked at the Senate calendar yet, but I just heard that it’s NARAL lobbying day in Oly on Monday, which means all those socialist, abortion-loving, witchcraft nyphomaniac, lesbian man-haters will be knocking on legislators’ doors to back the sex ed bill, which is going to pass the house (as usual) and is also getting a hearing in the Senate for once (next week on Valentines Day). And it looks like it’ll pass there too.

Former GOP state Rep. and now Democratic state Sen. Rodney Tom (D-48, Bellevue, Kirkland, Redmond), who’s moving the bill in the Senate, will address the NARAL crowd.

Congressman Jim McDermott was here at the Stranger earlier today to answer questions from Slog readers live. Here are the questions and his answers for those of you who missed them previously:

Q: Rep. McDermott:

What will this Congress do to make concrete progress on slowing the United States’ staggering contribution to global warming? I think it’s clear that more study and research and committees are not the answer: we need to take decisive action on as many fronts as possible (conservation, new energy sources, etc.), and Bush’s recent suggestions would be laughable if they weren’t so depressing in their inadequacy. What can we expect and when can we expect it?

Thank you for giving us this opportunity.

Posted by Levislade | February 9, 2007 10:07 AM

A: The process has already started. One of the six issues that Speaker Pelosi brought to the floor in the first 100 hours was HR 6, energy legislation. I was selected as floor manager to get the bill passed. Then Speaker Pelosi set up a select committee to coordinate all the efforts of the various committees. The committee refers ideas and proposed legislation to the standing committees for action. We’ve taken the important first step of recognizing the energy crisis we face as a nation and the need to address global warming now. The cavalry is coming.

Posted by Rep. Jim McDermott | February 9, 2007 11:08 AM

Continue reading "The Jim McDermott Slog Q&A;" »

David Goldstein reports a rumor we’ve been hearing for a few days around here: the Washington State Department of Transportation (WSDOT) has plans to unveil a new, 11th-hour four-lane “rebuild-lite” that trims $400 million of the cost of a new elevated rebuild. Plans for the alleged rebuild include shoulders that would be opened to traffic during rush hours, supposedly enabling the road to accommodate as many cars as today’s viaduct. (The safety implications of eliminating both shoulders at rush hour on a limited-access roadway are mind-boggling.)

State transportation secretary Doug MacDonald says a plan for a smaller viaduct would give voters a more accurate perspective on the mayor’s recently unveiled, four-lane “tunnel lite,” which Nickels’s office says would cost $1.2 billion less than the original six-lane tunnel. Yesterday, MacDonald told me “there are people [at WSDOT] asking if you’re adjusting the assumptions for the tunnel, what would happen if you made complementary assumptions and adjustments for the elevated? That’s what we’re trying to figure out.” The ballot March 13 pits Nickels’s tunnel lite against the original six-lane, 71-percent larger elevated viaduct (71 percent is the average difference in bulk between the existing and planned new viaduct); however, because the vote is nonbinding, there’s nothing to stop WSDOT from promoting its new six-lane viaduct by talking up the cheaper four-lane alternative.

Tunnel supporters and viaduct opponents have long been convinced that WSDOT will do anything it can to promote the elevated—from excluding the mayor’s office from meetings of the expert review panel studying the new tunnel to attempting political sabotage by unveiling a smaller, cheaper rebuild. MacDonald claims that’s preposterous. “That is the spin coming from the city—that the process has been tainted by a state embrace of the elevated. I don’t think, frankly, that that’s correct.” However, in a voice mail MacDonald left with an aide for state house speaker Frank Chopp (who supports his own version of the elevated), MacDonald encouraged Chopp to “drive home his point” in a meeting with the city to “bring this thing closer to a conclusion. I’m just afraid we’re going to slip off sideways into endless more rounds of process, process, process.”

Witchy Poo: The Passions of Jake Shears.

The Murph-mobile: It’s Like a Fat Guy in a T-Shirt Doing All The Singing.

Tonight: In Music With Video!

White Wedding: Cracked-Out Christians Need to Take it Eazy.

Macrame Owls: Crafty, Crafty Cave Singers.

Bad Taste: I Glibly Suggest Deerhunter Eat, They Suggest I Eat a Dick. Advantage: Deerhunter.

Hell’s Bitchin’: Demon-Skull-and-Crusader-Cross a Nice Touch.

And not even Stevie Wonder could have, this was the top headline from today’s Seattle Times:

First off, is this even news? If this follow-up nonstory belongs anywhere, it’s buried somewhere in the B-section.

And second, to play off Tina: What’s drugs got to do with it? Some of the guys who worked at the dealership might have snorted some painkillers. That’s possible. But the drugs didn’t make anyone bilk a mentally disabled guy out of his life savings. Millions of drug users—the overwhelming majority—don’t con mentally disabled people out of dough or run rackets. The problems occurred because someone at this dealership was a swindling, greedy asshole. So why are drugs the first thing blamed in the 400-point headline? Maybe the story of a con-artist car salesman is too cliché for the Times, or maybe without drugs as a whipping post, it just isn’t news…

Academy Award-nominated, three-time Sundance winner Iraq in Fragments, directed by Stranger Genius James Longley, is back at the Varsity for one week only. There is no excuse for missing this vital film. (Josh Feit, I’m looking at you.)

Showtimes are as follows: Fri-Sun 2:10, 4:40, 7:20, 9:45; Mon-Thurs 7:20, 9:45. James Longley will be in attendance for a Q&A; at tonight’s shows; producer John Sinno will be in attendance Saturday and Sunday evenings. Go. You won’t regret it.

In the film section this week: On Screen, with reviews of Factory Girl (Warhol’s mom kept Campbell’s soup in a kitchen cupboard?! No way! FRAUD!!), The Guatemalan Handshake (all the Park-City certified quirk you can handle), Flock of Dodos (a clumsy but entertaining doc about the intelligent design/evolution “debate”), Absolute Wilson (a doc about Robert Wilson: ugly duckling transforms into world-famous avant-garde theater genius!), and Breaking and Entering (laden with dumb symbolism, forgettable plot).

I feel a little bad about having come down so hard on The Guatemalan Handshake. Some people will really, really like it (if you adore Napoleon Dynamite and Wes Anderson, give it a chance); it isn’t badly made; and it’s being self-distributed, so it needs all the eyes and mouths it can get to find its audience. I can say this: the Seattle run is accompanied by a truly impressive number of special events.

The Guatemalan Handshake
Northwest Film Forum, Fri-Thurs 7, ( pm

Director Todd Rohal and producer Megan Griffiths in attendance at every screening, all week long.

Composer David Wingo performs live after Fri and Sun 9 pm shows.

Kimya Dawson performs live after Sat 9 pm show.

David Gordon Green’s (George Washington, All the Real Girls) new short Will You Lather Up My Rough House? shows in front of Monday shows.

Aluminum Fowl, directed by James Clauer and produced by Harmony Korine and Agnes B., shows in front of Tuesday shows.

A TBA short film screens in front of Wednesday shows.

And the short that started it all, Todd Rohal’s Knuckleface Jones, screens in front of Thursday shows.

Looking ahead to next week: Seattle Art Museum is sponsoring a special series at the Museum of History and Industry: Thelma Schoonmaker, editor for Martin Scorsese, will speak about two of her late husband Michael Powell’s rarest films (not currently available on DVD or VHS). Gone to Earth screens Tuesday at 7:30 pm, and Age of Consent screens Wed at 7:30 pm. Tickets are a steal at $10 for nonmembers: Call SAM’s box office at 654-3121.

Other limited runs include Satyajit Ray’s Two Daughters at SAAM, Vertigo and On Dangerous Ground at NWFF, Alejandro Jodorowsky’s The Holy Mountain at the Grand Illusion, a new work-in-progress screening of Linas Phillips’s new film Great Speeches from a Dying World at NWFF, an advance screening (with director Q&A;!) of The Lives of Others, and much, much more.

_______________________

See Get Out for complete listing of film shorts and Movie Times.

Sure, November 2008 is nearly two years away, but it’s
apparently never too early to declare one’s intention to run for president, and thus it’s never too early to get to know the people who might be the next leader of the free world. This month we’ll be taking a brief look at them.

Duncan Hunter

Party: Republican

Age: 58

Status: Declared

www.gohunter08.com

“Peace through Strength” is the campaign slogan for this little-known Republican presidential candidate from San Diego. Duncan Hunter has positioned himself as the most conservative Republican candidate in the 2008 election. He is fighting an uphill battle—the last member of the House to win the presidency was James Garfield.

Born and raised in southern California, Hunter attended college briefly before enlisting in the U.S. Army to serve in Vietnam from ‘69-‘71. He then graduated with a J.D. from Western State University in San Diego, California in 1976, and worked for a time as a lawyer in private practice. Hunter ran for congress in 1980 in the 42nd District of California, which includes San Diego. He narrowly beat out the incumbent Democrat and has been easily re-elected in ever since.

In 2003, he became the chair of the House Armed Services Committee which is responsible for the funding and oversight of the Department of Defense and the U.S. Armed Services. He lost this committee chairmanship when the Democrats took power in November. Along with his fellow Congressman Randy Cunningham, Hunter received campaign contributions from Brent Wilkes, the founder of defense contractor ADCS. Though Cunningham was indicted and is currently serving a 6 year sentence for bribery and tax fraud, Hunter has never been charged with any wrongdoing.

Because of his position as chair of the House Armed Services Committee, Hunter has been instrumental in garnering more money for the U.S. military and the war in Iraq. Here he is defending the conditions for prisoners in Guantanamo:

Hunter has also earned a reputation for being tough on national security because of his strong support of the U.S. border fence. He pushed to get 14 miles of double fence built south of San Diego and wrote the bill that President Bush just signed which calls for building a 700-mile fence along the US-Mexico border. He also supports sending more troops to Iraq and calls the United Nations “an organization of limited value.”

Hunter authored the “personhood-at-conception” bill, supports a constitutional amendment defining marriage as between a man and a woman, believes prayer should be permitted in public schools, and calls Ronald Reagan his “soul mate.”

Congressman Hunter and his wife, Lynne, live in Alpine, California. They have two sons, Duncan Duane (who has served two tours of duty in Iraq) and Sam, and four grandchildren.

Posted by Eli’s Intern: Sage Van Wing

Previously: John Edwards, John McCain, Bill Richardson, Mitt Romney, Hillary Clinton, Rudy Giuliani, Barack Obama, Sam Brownback, Christopher J. Dodd,
Newt Gingrich, Dennis Kucinich, Mike Huckabee, Tom Vilsack, and Joe Biden.

Video (including excrement being alchemized into gold) is NSFW.

The Stranger didn’t shower much attention this week on Alejandro Jodorowsky’s crowning achievement, The Holy Mountain, which is playing at Grand Illusion Feb. 9-15. So I will try in my amateurish manner to convey why it is important that you don’t miss this rare screening of his 1973 cult classic. I am no film critic, but I am a connoisseur of psychedelic experiences, and few in any discipline can surpass The Holy Mountain when it comes to extreme sensual dazzle.

You can read a synopsis of The Holy Mountain here, but a dry recitation of the plot cannot do justice to the stylistic flamboyance and intellectual promiscuity that Jodorowsky flaunts throughout the movie’s 114 minutes. In its exploration of occult practices and dissection of religious, ideological, and philosophical hypocrisies, the film is supremely ambitious. Jodorowsky strives to scrutinize several belief systems in order to find the meaning of existence and the secret to immortality. In the process, he renders some scenes as unbearably sublime while others come off as ludicrously farcical. No matter their tone, though, every shot is a masterly display of composition and rich, lysergic detail. The tonal shifts can be shocking and disruptive, but they all work in service to Jodorowsky’s sui-generis examination of humanity’s follies and noble searches for eternal verities. His vision is expansive and requires a vast repertoire of mises-en-scène to manifest it.

I have never seen a film that better combines hallucinogenic imagery with incredibly deep, mystical music (soundtrack by Don Cherry!), while also addressing so many profound religious and philosophical issues as does The Holy Mountain.

It is Jodorowsky’s masterpiece, and the wildest mind-fuck you’ll ever have in a cinema. I say this after viewing it five times—once even while not tripping. You will never forget this unique film, and you’ll probably want to see it at least twice in order to absorb everything that’s happening in it.

Here’s All Movie Guide’s take: “The Holy Mountain is beautifully shot and designed, and it suggests what might have resulted if Luis Buñuel, Michelangelo Antonioni, and George Romero had all dropped acid and made a movie together.”

From, of all places, the Corner at the National Review:

According to a congressman’s wife who attended a Republican women’s luncheon yesterday, Karl Rove explained the rationale behind the president’s amnesty/open-borders proposal this way: “I don’t want my 17-year-old son to have to pick tomatoes or make beds in Las Vegas.”

Seattle Congressman Jim McDermott is here at The Stranger offices and ready to answer your questions. Put them in the comments and he’ll reply in the comments.

UPDATE: Our hour with McDermott is up. Thanks everyone for your questions, and thanks again to the Congressman for being here.

For the post Death and the Maiden, the man that is a mind called Fnarf provided the definitive statement on the woman that was a body called Anna Nicole Smith.

Mocking the misfortunes of rich, talentless celebrities is the biggest form of entertainment there is. Anna Nicole’s function in life was to be a continuous train wreck. There was no other reason to pay attention to her. There are millions of dumb, pretty girls out there, but only Anna Nicole was able to turn that into a riveting moral and physical collapse. That’s the show. That’s all there is.

It’s the same reason we follow Paris Hilton: no one, not even stupid teenage girls, actually likes her. We like to make fun of her, and wish ill upon her, and laugh when it happens. This is the chief form of celebrity now. Britney Spears, pop star? Popular. Britney Spears, shithead-marrying, cooter-baring, falling-down drunk white trash? SUPERSTAR.

There are many, many more examples. In fact, there aren’t very many counterexamples. Who cares about so-called “celebrities” who are well-adjusted, sane, intelligent, and polite? Nobody. We demand our celebrities be talentless substance abusers, laughably incompetent at relationships and child-rearing, foul-mouthed, retarded, mean and violent. Nobody wants to watch Courtney Love “sing” or “act”; we want to watch her fall off her shoes and scream curses at the photographer, and we want to see her weep as a judge takes her child away from her.

Anna Nicole was just better at it than most celebrities. She is, after all, famous for nothing; she’s never seriously acted, sang, or even modeled; her “modeling” was really “stripping”. But that’s OK, because talent and artistic performance just get in the way of what we really want, which is a bloated, pilled-up Anna fighting with her interior decorator over pillows while accidentally banging her kid’s head against the bannister. With tears.

I certainly have no use for the guy she fought the long probate battle with; he never did anything to earn the money, while she fucked the last few drops out of the old man for it. Hard duty.

Philly: Bans blunt wraps.

Military Recruiters: Helping hippies pass drug tests.

Italy: Can’t give cocaine the boot.

Fair Trade: Left nut for coffee, say guys.

Tennessee Commissioner: I was a teenage dealer.

Painkillers: Killing more than pain in Washington.

Scientists: Marijuana-like substance could park Parkinson’s

Hemp Farm Plans: Burned.

Pole Position: Nude skier allegedly spotted playing with his pipe.

Start sharpening your questions for the Congressman, and go ahead and put them in the comments now if you’d like.

McDermott will be here for his live Q&A; with Slog readers starting at 11 a.m.

This is a good idea.

Today and Saturday, the public can tell the state what should happen to… the seminary building [at St. Edward State Park], which has been nominated for the National Register of Historic Places. The Washington State Parks and Recreation Commission is engaged in a four-step planning and development process to determine the best use of the seminary building that is the heart of the 316-acre park…

The process began after McMenamins, a Portland-based chain of hotels, restaurants and brew pubs, submitted a 2005 letter of intent to lease the seminary building and turn it into a hotel with a restaurant and a conference center.

Yes, yes, yes. McMenamins has a track record of sensitively restoring and adapting historic buildings in Oregon and recently Washington, opening hotels, brewpups, and theaters. The seminary is crumbling and McMenamins has the money and the expertise to save it. Leasing the crumbling seminary to McMenamins is a great fucking idea—so naturally the usual NIMBY asswipes are losing their shit.

But local residents have vehemently opposed the company’s proposal. “If McMenamins or someone else takes over the seminary building, they control the park,” said Ray Benish, co-chairman of Citizens for St. Edward State Park, which wants a consortium of tenants to use the building. “We’re not going to get that to happen, and we’re adamant about it. Even if the park commission signs a contract with McMenamins, we have all kinds of stops and blocks we can use.”

Whoa—what’s with the threats? If the seminary burns to the ground under mysterious circumstances late one night I suggest the police start their investigation with Benish.

Seattlest called it yesterday, and they’re absolutely right.

The Seattle Times comes out for closing the gun show loophole on its editorial page today where they ask a central question:

Why are people so worked up about this? A legitimate buyer still gets the gun. The illegitimate buyer does not because he or she has undergone and failed a background check. What is so scary about that?

Bravo. That’s a great question.

It’s a shame they don’t ask it down in Olympia.

Indeed, today’s Seattle Times news article on the gun show loophole bill frames the issue this way: “Backers say [background checks] would help keep criminals from getting firearms, while opponents say it would only further erode gun rights.”

The article dutifully goes on to test the supporters’ claim about criminals with a he said/she said on that point. But the article never issues any follow-up questions about the opponents’ claim regarding gun rights.

To challenge the proponents’ claim about criminals, the article quotes some stats that damage the claim and quotes the president of Washington Arms Collectors, who says: “Show me a gun that comes out of a Washington Arms Collectors gun show that was used in a killing.” (It’s a damn good question, and I’ve been told that SPD chief Gil Kerlikowske, the main advocate of the bill, doesn’t have the stats…the, err, smoking gun, on that.)

However, the article never gets around to questioning the opponents’ central premise, namely that requiring private dealers to do background checks for mental illness and criminal records (something licensed gun shop owners have to do) somehow infringes on gun rights.

That too is a damn good question, but it never comes up.

If the Seattle Times news article is going to frame the debate as: “The loophole allows criminals to get guns!” vs. “Closing the loophole infringes on gun rights!” —the article oughta test both claims as they peddle that objective journalism of their’s—rather than relying on toothless editorials.

Posing the question on the editorial page is okay. However, why not force opponents of the bill to actually answer the question by asking it down in Olympia where it matters. Otherwise the opponents’ claim is left standing as the central, unchallenged premise of the hearing.

p.s. Reporters at the The Seattle Times have often complained to me—when I attacked things like their McGavick endorsement—that I don’t get it: There’s a separation between news and editorial. Okay, but I hope you guys don’t go and defend today’s underreported article on the gun bill hearing by telling me the central question was asked on the editorial page. Cake/Eat it too and all that.

Meanwhile, word from Democratic leadership is that the bill isn’t going to pass.

Condi Rice bemoaned the fact that the State Department is having a hard time finding qualified language experts—particularly people that speak Arabic and Farsi. New York Dem Gary Ackerman had a suggestion for Rice: Perhaps the State Department could hire the 322 foreign language experts discharged from the military since 1992 for being gay and lesbian.

Well, it seems that the military has gone around and fired a whole bunch of people who speak foreign languages — Farsi and Arabic, etc… after they trained them in their foreign language schools for 63 weeks, and presumably they all pass all kinds of security things, and many of them told on themselves and were fired. For some reason, the military seems more afraid of gay people than they are against terrorists, because they’re very brave with the terrorists. I mean, If the terrorists ever got a hold of this information, they’d get a platoon of lesbians to chase us out of Baghdad.

The affirmative suggestion that I would make is why can’t the State Department look to pick up all those people that were fired from the military because [the State Department does not] have a policy [against hiring gays and lesbians], and put these three dozen Farsi and Arabic people to work.

Via Towleroad.

One of the plans regularly floated for extricating ourselves, at least partly, from the disaster in Iraq is pulling our forces back to Kurdistan. Hey, the Kurds love us! So we pull out of the Sunni and Shiite areas, let the civil war/ethnic cleansing commence/continue without our forces being stuck in the crossfire.

If we want to keep that option open—the pull back to Kurdistan option—maybe it’s not the best idea to go dropping bombs on Kurdish troops. Just sayin’.

Okay, this is total horseshit.

Akron Watson, an “American Idol” contestant from Dallas and one of the feel-good stories of the new season, has been disinvited from the Hollywood round of the show, possibly after producers discovered a pot bust on his record.

Watson, whose San Antonio audition aired on last night’s “Idol,” was arrested in April 2003 for misdemeanor possession of marijuana… But Watson tells Pegasus News that two days before he was scheduled to leave for Hollywood, he received a call saying that he would not be competing anymore “for unknown reasons.” “Idol” producers did not comment on their withdrawn invitation.

Sen. Barack Obama can admit to smoking pot and using coke and he can run for president, but this poor motherfucker isn’t fit to run for pop star because he has one misdemeanor pot bust on his record?

Heavens, we can’t have anyone on American Idol that’s touched a controlled substance.

I’m back. After five (or was it six?) weeks of sleeping on floors, being crammed into vans, and getting an up close and personal tour of Western Europe’s squats and bars and and rock clubs, I’m finally back.

I missed the robust water pressure of American showers. I missed clean clothes. I missed beds and, the few times I got a bed, missed not having to share a bed. But more than anything, I missed Wikipedia.

The nine of us (two bands and me) were almost never near computers. We were riding in the tour van, sitting in the clubs, or walking down the street. You can have conversations in all of these places, these places without the magic of reference materials and online searching, but it is not advisable. Dozens of questions will go unanswered: Was that Swedish band the Knutters spelled with a ‘K’ or an ‘N’? (Answer: K.) Dozens of easily-avoidable arguments will erupt ‘Holland’ only refers to part of the Netherlands. No, ‘Holland’ refers to the entirety of the Netherlands. No, fuck you. (Answer: both, kind of.)

Now I can wallow in reference material, happy as a pig in slop. Top three on my list of Stuff People Kept Talking About But I Couldn’t Look Up: the conspiracy theories about chemtrails, the cancer-fighting effects of vitamin B-17, and the purpose of bile.

I’m also curious about the crime rate in Umeå, a great young London band called the Metros, and whether there really was a Swedish candy called a “Negro-ball.” (Answer: yes.)

If you need me, I’ll be looking stuff up.

In case you missed it: Anna Nicole Smith is dead.

In case there was any doubt: Pentagon report finds that civilian military officials should be rebuked on faulty Iraq intelligence.

In case you like to hope against hope: A small bit of peace declared in the Middle East.

In case you were hoping to see Dick Cheney on the witness stand: It may not happen.

In case you want to know more about that mistrial: An exploration of the Watada case and double jeopardy.

In case you like yesterday’s news: Coming out is not just for college anymore.

Earlier today, I posted a letter from CAPP, Communities Against Payday Predators, addressed to Gov. Gregoire.

The 60 plus signers asked the Governor to support a bill calling for a cap on interest on payday loans.

I was surprised that KC Exec Sims had not signed.

Well, that’s all cleared up now.

Dear Governor Gregoire,

Earlier this week, the Communities Against Payday Predators coalition sent you a letter requesting your support of HB 1020, which seeks to address the real problems with predatory payday lenders. A copy of the letter is pasted below in this e-mail. Unfortunately, I was traveling and unable to sign onto the letter. I wanted to let you know that I support the bill and the efforts of the coalition. I hope that we can count on your support this year to reform this industry and stop predatory payday lending.

Sincerely,

Ron Sims
King County Executive

Stuck In The Mud: Lou Reed’s Mistrial.

Love Eats Shit: David Schmader Smears the Academy.

The Truth: Charles Mudede Loves Dub.

The Power: David Schmader Loves Prince.

The Blackness: “The People at the Seattle Show That Were Offended Were in the Minority.”

The Whiteness: All You Don’t Need Is Italics.

“You Can Drop My Lime Anytime”: Ari Spool Coins My Favorite New Euphemism.

Your New Favorite Band?: Don Yates, Unpaid Intern Love the Whore Moans.

Hairy Monsters: Sasquatch Festival Announces Dates.

This is the Redux: M.I.A., Diplo, Switch, and “Bird Flu.”

Drop It: Terry Miller “Drops The Lime,” Oh Yeah!.

8-Track Magic: Charlie is the Coolest 13 Year Old Ever.

How Low Can You Go?: Dave Segal “Drops The Lime” Lower, Longer.

Take that, Colorado Springs!

In other fat-related news, here’s a cool site that shows what 200 calories’ worth of various foods looks like on the plate.

Washington State’s top federal prosecutor, John McKay, was terminated along with six other federal prosecutors for “performance-related issues,” according to a statement made Tuesday by a Justice Department official. Another statement claimed they were making room for up-and-coming Republicans. McKay was appointed just after 9/11 – when conservatives felt confident they could derive power by strong-arming the American psyche – but he was given his pink slip shortly after the Blue Wave of November 2006. Hmm…

McKay supported the Patriot Act and appeared to march in lockstep with Republicans, but his career hasn’t always reflected the draconian policies his book’s cover suggests. A few pages in, McKay’s résumé reveals service in the Clinton Administration, and he is oft credited with almost single-handedly preserving legal services for indigent persons. During his local tenure, McKay focused on terrorists and murderers, and he was reticent to federally prosecute medical marijuana defendants or other cases brought to set examples of federal dominance over (progressive) states.

Was McKay not tough enough for the conservative right? If that was the “performance-related issue,” then who will replace him? As a last-gasp attempt to maintain a grip on domestic issues, the Bush Administration will probably appoint a crony prosecutor willing to impose federal control through the court of law, since they have clearly lost the jury’s ear in the court of public opinion.

Postman has the scoop on freshman state Sen. Eric Oemig’s (D-45, Kirkland) intent to file legislation next week to call on the U.S. Congress to investigate Bush’s conduct of the Iraq war and impeach Bush.

Oemig’s spokespeople tell me that Sen. Adam Kline (D-37, Seattle) said he’ll give the resolution a hearing in the judiciary committee.

Sen. Oemig’s staff is sending me the language from federal rules that allow a state legislature to pass such a directive to the U.S. Congress.

More to come. I’m interviewing Sen. Oemig tomorrow about his righteous? audacious? irrelevant? thrill-seeking? publicity seeking? cool? idea.

UPDATE
Oemig’s spokesperson Jeff Reading just forwarded me the federal rules that empower Sen. Oemig to bust Bush.

Jefferson’s Manual is a sort of interpretive guide to parliamentary procedure, and is included (along with the Constitution) in the bound volumes of the Rules of the House of Representatives. It is ratified by each congress (including the current one), and has been updated continuously through the history of our democracy.

Within the Manual itself, the section covering impeachment is designated Section LIII. Section 603 refers to the section of the entire volume (including the Constitution and Rules) in which you’ll find the listing of acceptable vehicles for bringing impeachment motions to the floor. The second vehicle being of most interest to our method. It reads:

“In the House of Representatives there are various methods of setting an impeachment in motion: by charges made on the floor on the responsibility of a Member or Delegate (II, 1303; III, 2342, 2400, 2469; VI, 525, 526, 528, 535, 536); by charges preferred by a memorial, which is usually referred to a committee for examination (III, 2364, 2491, 2494, 2496, 2499, 2515; VI, 552); or by a resolution dropped in the hopper by a Member and referred to a committee (April 15, 1970, p. 11941-2); by a message from the President (III, 2294, 2319; VI, 498); by charges transmitted from the legislature of a State (III, 2469) or Territory (III, 2487) or from a grand jury (III, 2488); or from facts developed and reported by an investigating committee of the House (III, 2399, 2444).”

This…

amounts to this:
By Edvard Munch.

Lots of Slog-readers liked our live Q&A; with Seattle Congressman Jim McDermott after the president’ State of Union speech.

McDermott liked it, too, and wants to do another.

So tomorrow, starting at 11 a.m., Congressman Jim McDermott will be here at The Stranger offices answering your questions live on Slog.

Need some grist for questioning the Congressman? Here’s McDermott on the HuffingtonPost recently, writing about the prospect of war with Iran. Here’s a Slog post on McDermott’s new plan to end the Iraq War. And here’s what people asked the Congressman the last time he was live on Slog.

Start sharpening your questions. If you want to put a query in the comments now, go ahead, and perhaps we’ll start with your question first tomorrow.

You’re probably wondering where we got the pair of bloody hearts on the the cover of this week’s Stranger. I’m sorry to say that two pigs were harmed in the production of these images. Pig hearts are so similar to human hearts that they’ve been transplanted into humans. They usually go into hot dogs, sausages, and Boca Burgers—shhhh… don’t tell the vegetarians—but you can buy them at the Uwajimaya for about a buck a piece. Which is what we did. We got six of them, which means that, um, six pigs were harmed in the production of this week’s cover. Sorry about that.

The models had to handle the bloody hearts—and they were good sports—but the person who suffered the most was our own Ari Spool. For some reason pigs hearts are sold cut into halves… so Ari spent Friday night stitching the hearts back together. And now two of them are on the cover of the paper—because, hey, there’s nothing unsightly about a bloody pig heart.

But our design director clearly felt something in one set of photos was unsightly. See if you can spot the difference between David Belisle’s original, un-retouched image of Kristopher…

…and the image that ran on our cover…

If you guess “bat wing tattoo photoshopped off tattooed love boy,” you are correct. The design director of The Stranger has revealed himself to be an inkphobic, anti-tattoo bigot. And here’s a picture of him:

Not to be insensitive, but Anna Nicole could barely play herself for real in her real-life reality television show. How will they (they!) ever find an actress of the requisite physical and histrionic stature to portray her accurately? Ari Spool and I have debated, and we’ve narrowed it down to these five. If you care at all (which you should, obviously), you may vote just below the photos:

1. Jessica Simpson, heiress of all vapidity
   
2. Catherine Keener, who is charming, creepy, and particularly good at looking strung-out
   
3. Amanda Lepore, America’s #1 transsexual performer who doesn’t mind giving the public pictorial proof of the quality of her post-op poon
   
4. Dina Martina, camel-toed ‘n’ confrontational comedienne
   
5. Dakota Fanning, a true delight
   

Got a write-in vote? Put it in the comments. Poll is open till noon tomorrow!

From Sandeep Kaushik, circa 2003:

On the evening of Wednesday, April 2, a group of Seattleites supporting the presidential candidacy of former Vermont Governor Howard Dean met at Piecora’s Pizza on Capitol Hill. The monthly meeting was organized at Meetup.com, a new web service used by candidates to bring together and organize grassroots supporters. Nearly 200 people showed up that night, without any outreach from the Dean campaign. As many as could fit crammed into the restaurant’s backroom, with more spilling out of the entryway; all were there to support a relatively obscure second-tier candidate in an election still 19 months in the future.

From a press release issued today by Washington for Obama:

SEATTLE, WA— More than 100 supporters of Illinois Senator Barack Obama are anticipated this Saturday at Seattle’s Piecora’s Pizza to celebrate Obama’s expected announcement that he is running for President. Using tools familiar to many Americans after their development and growth during the 2004 Presidential election, activists and “netroots” leaders have begun organizing in earnest to support Obama’s bid to capture the White House in 2008.

See, also.

Nipper plays taps on kazoo over the phone system loudspeaker.

More than 60 leaders representing minority communities signed a letter that was hand-delivered to Gov. Gregoire today by a group called CAPP—Communities Against Payday Predators.

The letter, cc’d to members of the legislature, asks the governor to support HB 1020, which would put a cap of 36% annual interest on payday loans.

February 8, 2007 Dear Governor Gregoire, As leaders in communities of color, we are writing to express our deep concern over predatory payday lending and urge you to extend to all families the same consumer protections that military families will receive under federal law. We are troubled that payday loan shops are proliferating in our neighborhoods. Payday lenders drive working families deep into debt by charging outrageous interest rates, with a repayment system that is set up for families to fail. With a typical interest rate of 391% on loans that have to be paid in-full in two weeks, it is no wonder that over 90% of borrowers are forced into having five or more loans a year. In 1995 the state legislature legalized payday lenders, creating a loophole through which the industry can operate outside of the rules that guide the practices of other financial institutions. In 10 years, payday lending in Washington State has grown to a $1.4 billion industry, issuing over 3.5 million loans in 2005. This fast growing, highly profitable industry is reaping profits from our communities while undermining the ability for families to thrive. Last year Oregon passed tough protections by capping interest rates and currently 11 states effectively ban predatory payday lending. Last fall the Republican Congress and President Bush capped the interest rate on payday loans to military families. We ask that you extend these reasonable and fair consumer protections to all payday loan borrowers. These protections include: ? Capping the annual interest rate on payday loans at 36% ? Prohibiting the use of post-dated checks or electronic access to bank accounts ? Eliminating mandatory arbitration clauses from loan agreements We are asking you to protect the interests of communities of color by throwing your full support behind HB 1020. House Bill 1020 provides protections that will place barriers between our communities and financial failure.

I’ve included the list of signers below.

Footnote #1: No Ron Sims?

Footnote #2: With CO2 caps, payday loans caps, and condo conversion caps in play this session, the GOP should start spoofing the Democrats as the party that wants to put limits and caps on everything. Maybe the GOP should float a bill calling for a cap on legislation mandating caps.

Footnote #3: As Angela reported this morning, there’s an initiative in the works to cap the interest on payday loans as well. (She’ll have more on that this aftenoon).

Continue reading "Petitioning the Governor" »

David Schmader, on the phone: “It wasn’t like the president was assassinated or anything. But it is major.”

RIP Anna Nicole Smith. Fuckin’ RIP, gurl.

In this week’s Police Beat, we got the neighborhood wrong in the first item. Noc Noc (my most beloved hangout) is firmly downtown (Second at Pike), not in Pioneer Square. I’m sorry I didn’t catch it in time. Anyway, the always competent Noc Noc security staff are to be commended for preventing a potentially bloody assault. Here’s the (corrected) bit:

Smoking Ban/Downtown/Sun Jan 28/10:58 pm: Officer Kallis responded to a report of a knife fight outside the Noc Noc nightclub. “I contacted the victim who told me the following: He was sitting on the sidewalk, eating some food. [The suspect] was standing next to him, smoking a cigarette. [The victim] asked [the suspect] to move away from him while he ate. [The suspect] told him to ‘fuck off,’ and continued to smoke. [The victim] became angry and took his artificial leg and threw it on the ground. [The suspect] pulled out a folding knife and pointed it at him and said, ‘I’m gonna kill you.’”

The victim identified in the report is a well-known Pioneer Square transient. According to a Noc Noc bartender, “He always sits out there with his rotten-ass leg and throws his garbage around.” Bouncer Mike Hidalgo, who witnessed the January 28 incident, says the would-be attacker had been smoking not a cigarette, but a crack pipe. When the victim, trying to enjoy his dinner on the sidewalk, got mad and threw his leg, the smoker “put his pipe away and pulled out a knife.” Another doorman Maced the man with the knife and called the cops. The suspect, who also had an outstanding warrant for escape, was arrested and booked into King County Jail.

Starting with our latest issue, Stranger news reporter Angela Valdez has taken over the Police Beat column.

A standing ovation is in order for the fantastic Charles Mudede, who decided to stop writing the column after an 8-year run.

Mudede fans, however, should give Valdez’s first installment a read. The story of the drunk young women who told Valdez they started out the evening with the goal of getting “kicked out of a bar,” but then, as the police report shows, ended up in the slammer for attacking a Nordstrom planter display, is a total freak show.

I’m not a football fan, so I missed the whole first-black-coach-to-win-the-Super Bowl buzz.

All I can say is, what is up with the NFL?

The first black coach to win an NBA title (and at $125,000, definitely one of the top-paid people in the NBA at the time) was Bill Russell in the 1967/68 season. That’s nearly 40 years ago. 40 years ago!

Oh, and Russell wasn’t a supa Christian. He’d taken to calling himself Felton X, and was actually a bit of a black power freak.

Today, Russell lives on Mercer Island, I think.

On yesterday’s 700 Club, loony preacher Pat Robertson said people who get too much plastic surgery “got the eyes like they’re Oriental, and, you know, it’s all pulled.” Ha! That wacky Pat! What will he say next?

On the positive side, he thinks Greta van Susteren looks just “gorgeous.”

Via Media Matters.

Attention Oscar obsessives: After years of tireless suffering in private, I finally have an outlet for the aggressive obsession I’m required to devote to each year’s Academy Awards. AA Meeting is a weekly podcast devoted to all things Oscar, from nominees’ odds to winner predictions to all the rest of that meaningless award-show bullshit I’m physically incapable of ignoring.

In the third AA Meeting: the mysterious stank pit that is the Academy Award for Best Original Song, this year featuring offerings from Dreamgirls, Disney/Pixar’s Cars, and An Inconvenient Truth.

If music be the food of love, love eats shit. Enjoy.

“She’s helping someone have a baby? I didn’t know she was a—what’s that called? A Sherpa? An Urkel?”

—Stranger receptionist Mike Nipper, in search of the word doula.

(THEATER)The recent review of An Enemy of the People by Seattle Times theater critic Misha Berson proved this: The century that made the world she now lives in is also the century she knows nothing about. But the great social transformations of that century informed Ibsen’s imagination and so they must inform any direction of his plays. Strawberry Theatre Workshop’s adaptation has this understanding as its ground. Go and see for yourself. It’s really good. (Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, 322-7030. 7:30 pm, $20.) CHARLES MUDEDE

(ART) The year Mary Henry showed her first painting at an art museum, Adolf Hitler was Time magazine’s Man of the Year (1938). This year the Whidbey Island-based artist will be 94 and she has been a powerhouse of geometric abstraction for almost all of that time, never deviating from her roots in 1920s constructivism. She designed a majestic architectural mural as part of her Howard House show of paintings; if you’re lucky, you’ll catch the grand dame at tonight’s opening. (Howard House, 604 Second Ave, 256-6399. 6-8 pm, free.) JEN GRAVES

Those two bloggers John Edwards hired, then (supposedly) fired, then left in limbo for 36 hours?

They’re keeping their jobs. More here.

That was one of the big questions among reporters and anti-war observers as the court-martial of Lt. Ehren Watada collapsed yesterday, ending in a mistrial.

You’ll have to get up to speed on the stipulation at the center of the mistrial to follow this, but once you get up to speed, come back and consider a very good point that was raised by Seattle Times reporter Hal Bernton at a military press conference held yesterday afternoon after the mistrial had been declared.

Bernton read back some of his notes from Monday, day one of the court-martial, when the judge, Lt. Col. John Head, had asked Watada to explain his understanding of the stipulation. It’s important to note here that on Wednesday, one of the more dramatic moments had been the judge essentially halting the court-martial proceedings so that he could personally question Watada about the stipulation. But as Bernton pointed out, the fact was that two days earlier, on Monday, the judge had done basically the same thing, asking essentially the same questions of Watada about the stipulation—and receiving the same answers.

Bernton wondered: Why did the judge suddenly decide on Wednesday that the stipulation was not what Watada thought it was, and that this was a court-martial-upending problem?

It was a good question, considering that the judge’s reconsideration of the stipulation came one day after the prosecution had rested its case—a case the prosecutors had built in large part on the stipulation that the judge had decided to declare inoperative. The Fort Lewis spokespeople didn’t really have a good answer to Bernton’s question. “I can’t speak for the judge,” said Lt. Col. Robert Resnick, an expert on military justice brought in to help explain the case to reporters.

From my vantage-point during the court-martial, the judge appeared to be blaming the mistrial on the military prosecutors’ faulty understanding of the stipulation. But it was really the judge who had allowed the stipulation, let the court-martial proceed, and then suddenly come to a new understanding of the stipulation one day after the prosecution had rested its case.

Notes taken by my intern, Sage Van Wing, at the court-martial on Monday confirm what Bernton recounted.

At the heart of the judge’s rejection of the stipulation on Wednesday was his concern that it was in fact a “confessional stipulation”—a stipulation sufficient for convicting Watada on the charge of not deploying to Iraq—while Watada apparently believed he had signed only a “stipulation of fact” and still retained a legitimate defense against the charge of failing to deploy (i.e., the war is “illegal”).

The judge acted like this was news to him on Wednesday, but on Monday, under questioning from the judge about the stipulation, Watada had said, according to Sage’s notes:

My intent was that the order to deploy was an illegal order and that the war itself was illegal and that I had no other choice but to refuse. My intent was to refuse that order.

In other words, it was clear on Monday that Watada did not believe the stipulation, in which he only admits to the fact of not deploying, was a “confessional stipulation.” To put it another way, Watada agreed that he didn’t deploy, but he believed that his reason for not deploying—the “illegal” war—was his defense (although, in one of the more strange aspects of the trial, Watada was not allowed to raise that defense).

This is very wonky, but it’s important.

Nothing really changed between Monday and Wednesday in terms of the information available to the judge about Watada’s understanding of the stipulation. Watada’s request on Wednesday morning that the jury be told about his “illegal war” defense was the trigger for the renewed debate on Wednesday over the stipulation’s meaning, but that debate revealed nothing that wasn’t already clear on Monday. (And anyway Watada’s attorney, Eric Seitz, said after the mistrial that he had fully expected the judge to simply reject his proposed jury instruction on Wednesday morning and move on, letting the defense present its case. “Never ever has a proposed jury instruction triggered a mistrial,” Seitz said.)

So, again, what was the judge thinking? Here are the three main theories, all of them based on pure conjecture since the judge won’t be explaining his inner thoughts on this matter:

1) The judge was legitimately slow on the uptake, only realizing half-way through the court-martial that he had allowed in a stipulation that he believed was fatally flawed.

2) The judge had a sincere change of heart about excluding Watada’s “illegal war” defense and moved to scuttle the court-martial so that in a new court-martial (if one ever happens) Watada might be allowed to challenge the legality of the Iraq war.

3) The judge believed the court-martial wasn’t going the military’s way and moved to scuttle the trial before Watada ever got to take the stand.

That’s No Shit Sherlock.

Today, The Seattle Times reports the big “news” that Rep. Frank Chopp (D-43) is open to the surface/transit option.

I reported this news exactly two months ago. Let’s see, my headline was: “House Speaker Frank Chopp Open to Boulevard/Transit Option.”

The reason The Seattle Times got around to reporting this news today is because King County Exec Ron Sims made a splash at yesterday’s overrated global warming press conference down in Olympia by stating again! (the PI got this wrong last week) that he’s against both the rebuild and tunnel, and he’s for the surface/transit option.

As I Slogged it yesterday:

Another great question that got asked was this: With all this talk of reducing carbon emissions, why is the state getting ready to build a giant freeway along the Seattle waterfront?

There was laughter, Paulson said he didn’t want to get into viaduct politics, and Sen. Majority leader Lisa Brown pretended to answer the question. Then, King County Executive Ron Sims took the microphone, and he said it straight: “You cannot talk about fighting global warming while also talking about building a tunnel or a rebuild. We will not achieve the goals.”

Sims then said Seattle should “vote down both” the tunnel and the rebuild and re-think transportation. “I support what’s called the surface/transit option,” Sims said.

So, Seattle Times (fans of the reactionary rebuild) thinks the Chopp “development” is a story now because Chopp is joining another high-profile leader like the KC Exec in voicing support for the surface/transit option. Well, I pointed out that angle two months ago.

Look, I’m not Slogging all this to toot my own horn. I’m Slogging all this because I’m sick of the mainstream media’s failure to cover the momentum that has been building for the surface/transit option.

Note to Cary Moon. This is what you said was going to happen two years ago. Burn on all the consultants and politicians that just can’t outmaneuver your smarty pants self on this.

And Note to America: You cannot hurt Muhammad Ali and stay alive.

This meeting of the JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE APPRECIATION SOCIETY will now come to order. First and only piece of business? Justin’s concert at NYC’s Madison Square Garden last night where he not only reportedly put on an amazing show, but teamed up once again with SNL’s ANDY SAMBERG for a live version of the most hee-larioso SNL sketch ever, “DICK IN A BOX.” Check out the story here at People.com, and if you are a diehard JT fan like myself, take a peep at this live concert footage of the song—which is annoyingly shaky, but I loved it all over again. Plus, it amply demonstrates that I’m not the only person in the world who goes apeshit over Monsieur Timberlake!
OH, WHY CAN’T YOU VISIT THE NORTHWEST, JUSTIN? WHY? WHY? WHY???

^{Bovine, The Oregon Trail Reversed (2006) by Whiting Tennis}

The latest Artnews is out today, and in it, the UW scholar Patricia Failing reviews Whiting Tennis’s show at Greg Kucera Gallery last year. She very much likes Bovine. I’ll type in the relevant parts of her piece, because there’s no way to link to the story on the web site of Artnews (grr):

Tennis finds a range of cues in used plywood. In Bovine (2006), a 14-foot-long crossbreed of a cow and an Airstream trailer, he refers to the saga of westward migration as depicted in B movies. The back of the wood trailer/cow is studded with an array of anecdotal, scene-setting objects—paint bucket, hammer, watering can, croquet mallet, harmonica, and books—often used in cinema to induce bonding with unseen characters. Bovine trumped the experience of cinema, however, with its olfactory addition: the sculpture infused the gallery with the musty smell of decaying wood.

Seattle Art Museum acquired this work, led by new contemporary curator Michael Darling. P-I critic Regina Hackett took this as a strike against Darling in her blog post on January 25. She dismisses Bovine this way:

It reeks of frontier nostalgia and trades in wild West stereotypes. It’s shabby chic without the chic.

I wasn’t convinced by Bovine, either, but I couldn’t enjoy my disconnection from it.

I simply felt disappointed that the artist’s very genuine expressive gesture did not reach me. Tennis spent an hour in the gallery with me before the show opened, and he declared that Bovine, The Oregon Trail Reversed (that surtitle often gets left off in reviews, but it’s relevant) was his line in the sand. “I don’t want any more change,” he told me.

As a 47-year-old single man, he had just bought his own first house, and many of these works were created using the objects he found in the garage, left there by the former owner, an elderly man. I was touched by what was clearly an homage to him staking a claim of sorts in his own life, but many of his other works seemed to be doing the same thing, only in a way that was more sly, more oblique—just more. That’s why I described those and left Bovine more or less alone in my original writing about the show back in October. I shouldn’t have done that.

Bovine is what Tennis intended as the centerpiece of his show, and now, thanks to SAM, we will be seeing it again. Will it work?

I am curious to see it up against the permanent collection, in a lineage that is going to, if I’m remembering correctly, push Morris Graves into fairly close proximity to the abstract expressionists. These seem to be salient touchstones for Bovine, which has a kind of softness, but also the brawn of a Di Suvero, the immense, brooding spirituality of a Kline, and, as Failing so aptly writes, the treacle and predictability of B movies. Is Tennis cutting off the grand gesture with an ironic slash? I don’t think so. Though I might change my mind about that if he makes smoke come out of the chimney, which he planned to do but couldn’t rig together for the opening at Kucera.

The funny thing is, Bovine is the piece Tennis worked hardest to make. Some of his other objects were very simple adaptations of found materials, extremely unprecious and grouped together in a family sort of way, instead of exhibited sparsely in the modernist vein.

Despite their simplicity—because of it? I’m really not sure—many of these resonated deeply. Throughout the show, Tennis complicated things with simple touches, simple actions. Even his paintings and collages made much of little. His marks didn’t feel overly plotted, or like he was opening a vein. But they way they came together was downright poignant. There was something I truly loved about that show.

^{Drawing (2006) by Whiting Tennis (plaster and plywood)}

^{Elizabethan (2005) by Whiting Tennis (acrylic and collage on canvas)}

^{The First Thing (2006) by Whiting Tennis (acrylic on canvas)}

Seattle private investigator Richard Newland filed yesterday for a ballot initiative that would cap payday loan interest rates at 36 percent. His proposal closely resembles a bill that is currently struggling in Olympia, where a bi-partisan cadre of pols has been lending an ear to pleas of salvation from the the industry, which claims it would be put out of business by the cap. I’m not very handy with this web tool, but I will try to post the initiative here. Nope. Can’t do it. Will seek help and try later.

My profile of a chief payday loan cap opponent here.

More on the efforts to kill the bill here.

My story on the mistrial in the court-martial of Lt. Ehren Watada is now up on The Stranger’s homepage.

The military’s effort to punish Lt. Ehren Watada for refusing to deploy to Iraq fell apart in dramatic fashion on Wednesday, with the judge for the court-martial declaring a mistrial and Watada’s attorney calling the case a “hopeless mess” that could not legally be restarted.

In a tense courtroom on the Fort Lewis Army Base, just south of Tacoma, the judge, Lt. Col. John Head, appeared to upbraid the military’s prosecutors, telling them they had entered into a pre-trial agreement with Watada that they did not understand, a mistake he likened to botching a basic contract.

“I’m not seeing that we have a meeting of the minds here,” Judge Head said. “And like any contract, if we don’t have a meeting of the minds there’s not a contract.”

The Next Big Thing: Over the counter diet pills that contain an active ingredient other than green tea extract.

Do-over?: Watada mistrial.

About face: Republican senators push Iraq debate.

Chavez and Ortega, Sitting in a Tree: Central America is the new hip place to report on, again.

Canned: Seattle’s chief federal prosecutor got the boot for “performance-related” issues. What did he do to piss off Bush?

The First Ladies of the United States? Mormon Mitt Romney to run for the Republican nomination.

The Unfriendly Skies: 2006=worst year ever, for airline passengers.

Kaboom: Road rage may have inspired the rash of letter bombs at UK auto bureaucracies.

So says TIME Magazine.

No need to wonder about whether Seattle has an art scene. It’s HOT and HIP!

Inn at El Gaucho Sculpts Art Package in Celebration of Seattle’s Sizzling Art Scene

Conveniently Located by New Olympic Sculpture Park

Seattle, Wash. — (February 7, 2007) — Located in Seattle’s hip Belltown district, just minutes away from the new sculpture park and the Seattle Art Museum (SAM) opening in May, the Inn at El Gaucho is the perfect base to explore the city’s growing art scene.

The Inn has announced its new arts package in conjunction with Waterfront Seafood Grill, known for its stunning views of Elliott Bay, the Olympic Mountains, and now, with the opening of the Olympic Sculpture Park, world-class art.

The arts package, priced at $500, includes:

One night at the Inn
$200 gift certificate to the Waterfront Seafood Grill
Two signature SAM cocktails at Waterfront Seafood Grill, aptly named The Sculptor
A commemorative bottle of SAM sparkling Brut from Northwest Cellars
A commemorative SAM book
A Sculpture Park Continental Breakfast for Two, featuring fresh fruit, pastries and juice, coffee, tea and a morning paper.
Overnight valet parking at the hotel

Guests who purchase the package (valued at $650) can unwind after a day of art exploration and fine dining in one of the Inn’s relaxing rooms. The suites feature fine Anichini linens, pillow top beds, and handcrafted furniture as well as bathrobes, slippers, and pajamas. A plasma screen television and Bose Wave music system completes the luxurious offerings.

Former Republican Party Precinct Committee Officer for the Central District Claude Zervas (right), and painter Joe Park. (Photo by Jenny Zwick)

This week’s paper is online now, and I want to add to my In Art News account of the 20th anniversary Artist Trust auction, because I just got a press release that says Artist Trust grossed more than $260,000 at the sparkly affair on Saturday night.

That means Artist Trust will give 20 percent more money directly to artists in 2007. (In 2006, 52 artists received some $70,000 in GAP grants.) The fundraiser was a record for the organization.

I reported that video artist Gary Hill summoned an easy $20,000 by offering $10,000 of his own, but it turns out his dough continued to generate cash past when I was looking—right up to $61,000. The man was there to raise money, as he said.

The highest bid of the night was Michael Spafford’s Europa and the Bull II-3 (1986) at $4,250. No argument from me that the piece was beautiful: a roughly sketched black-and-white tribute to the mythical scene in which Europa’s curvaceous body was cut out of the center like a brutal Matisse.

Speaker Frank Chopp (D-43, Seattle) just held his weekly sit down with the press corps, and he was asked about most of the high-profile bills in play in the house.

I’ve got to get on the road back to Seattle now to beat traffic, but I want to give a quick run down of what he said.

Closing the Gun Show Loophole
Chopp said he personally supported it, but “the votes just aren’t there in the caucus” to pass it. Asked what the problem was with making folks at gun shows get background checks before buying guns just as they have to in gun shops (i.e., this is hardly an attack on the Second Amendment), Chopp said NRA members of his caucus just didn’t see it that way… and he’d rather focus on issues where there’s consensus, like mental health. He made a couple of leaps there and said that was a good way—dealing with mental health issues—of preventing people from losing their shit and going on shooting sprees.

Payday Loan Cap
Chopp said he wanted credit unions to step up and do their part to serve the low-income market. He said he wanted the payday-loan industry to have reasonable rates, but said the caucus was still working something out. In summary: He was pretty circumspect about the whole thing.

Domestic Partnerships
Asked when they’d pass that, Chopp said, “Not in the next two weeks. We’ll see.”

Rainy-Day Fund
Chopp said that was the governor’s priority, and while he was happy to work on it, “We’ve got our own priorities.”

Regulating Fraud in Paid Signature Gathering
Chopp said he strongly believed in the public’s right to petition the government (citing his own history running progressive initiatives). He said, however, fraud occurs, and his caucus was right to want to “stop that fraud.” He kind of contradicted himself, though, by using Eyman’s recent failure to get on the ballot because of ineligible signatures as an example of the problem.

Um… if the secretary of state caught Eyman’s false signatures, then the system’s working, no?

Final note: Chopp paused to say how thrilled he was that he got some good press on Sharkansky’s blog.

However, Chopp oughta stop and think about that. If I’m not wrong, Sharkansky gave Chopp a shout out for Chopp’s stand against the tunnel… i.e., for bringing us the rebuild. Thanks, Frank.

Oh, and thanks to all the hubbub in Olympia today about fighting greenhouse-gas emissions, Chopp was asked if anything like Sen. Erik Poulsen’s bill was brewing on the house side.

First, he cited bills that the house has already passed in recent years, like the car-emissions bill and green building standards. Then he said this session his caucus was working on the priorities that the environmental community had spelled out: a clean fuels bill; a PBDE bill, and a Puget Sound cleanup bill.

I reminded him that in fact there is an emissions cap bill in the house. Chopp said it wasn’t a priority.