Celebs aren't always
smiling for Kaffee; here,
Lindsay Lohan confronts
him in NYC.
BRETT Kaffee is the last person on earth who should be a member of the paparazzi.
He's an ex-Marine who has traveled to every continent in the world, a former activist for organizations such as Witness for Peace, a scholar of political science who has had his photos used on the floor of the House of Representatives - and right now he is staking out Paris Hilton in the heart of cobble-stoned SoHo.
"You're not going to save the world through pictures," observes the 32-year-old New Jersey native, who describes his line of work as "90 percent James Bond and 10 percent photography."
"It's a waste of time."
And so he decided two years ago that he might as well make money off the world through pictures instead - by car, by scooter, by speedboat, by helicopter. He chases everyone from Sienna Miller ("she likes to bicker") to Madonna ("security is gonna kick your ass in") to Tom Cruise ("nearly impossible") to Hilton ("she performs her function exquisitely").
You can follow his latest work - and that of his colleagues in the long-lens business - at splashnewsonline.blogspot.com.