Lesson Number One in Achieving Goals - Achieving goals is good. Do so often.
Three years ago we made a goal. We knew that when our son reached school age we would either home school him or have to relocate to a place that had better schools. We also knew that we were ready for a new challenge.
We sat down and thought about where we could live if we didn't live in the Bay Area.
We started with places in the US. And that narrowed to California and maybe Washington State.
Neither of us likes the cold, depressing winters that occur outside of California.
We had visited Seattle once...during the summer. We found Seattle a very pleasant city. We stayed in the city and on Bainbridge island with a friend. Now, that is a place to live. And what an investment. Land there has gone up about 300% since our visit.
But, after careful consideration, we decided to "go west".
"Going west" is a family motto.
On my grandmother's side we have spent our entire American existence moving from the east to the west. Starting in the 1700s we went from Virginia to Tennessee to Missouri to Texas to Oregon and California.
So, given the history it really made sense to just keep moving in that direction.
Our criteria: warm, humid weather to help with Monica and Gus's excema, good schools, a small safe community. And that's how we decided to move to Moloka'i HI. So we put a piece of paper on our fridge that said "Hawai'i 2008."
Actually we were not the first in the family to contemplate AND actuate a move to Moloka'i. My aunt and uncle had purchased two acres in 2003 and built their dream home there over the next couple of years. Their plan was to live there and continue working either on a consulting basis or on trips to the mainland.
Which made us think, "Hey, we just need an internet connection..."
Then someone came into our house in Oakland on Memorial Day while we were out shopping and took my laptop. So we started to look in earnest at houses on Moloka'i. And we found one.
It is the same size as our starter house in West Oakland. But the lot it sits on is three times as large. It also abuts a wilderness that runs from the ocean up into the mountains where during the rainy season we are treated to a series of waterfalls. And, it is one street from the elementary school where 90% of the kids are Asian Pacific Islander. That's big deal for our "hapa" kid.
On our new block, which is a cul-de-sac, lives two police officers, a firefighter, a nurse, a teacher, a retired couple, artists, and us.
We bought the house in September (site unseen) and had planned to rent it until we could make our arrangements for moving. But, the rent over there isn't even close to the monthly payment. And, after Hawai'i's rental tax we'd be looking at little to nothing. So we instead put our mainland house up for sale and after the craziness of the holiday season aggressively pushed it.
Luckily we did so just as the market started sliding and not *after* it had reached the bottom.
Interestingly the Hawai'ian market mirrors the Bay Area market but is off by two years. So we'll expect a nice slowdown around the next two years.
With a close date of February 28th we got our stuff out of the house, selling anything that couldn't fit dimensionally into a suitcase. Monica and Gus went to stay with her parents in San Diego for the two weeks it would take me to ship our newly purchased Toyota truck. And I moved in to a friend's spare room in the Rockridge district of Oakland; the place that I would be spending the majority of my time for the next three months.
After two weeks of phone calls back and forth it was very nice to finally have the family back together as we boarded a plane to Honolulu.
Our house on Moloka'i is everything that we had hoped it would be. Gus can run out the door and into the street to play with all the other kids without us worrying about his safety (well, okay, we still worry a little). We are not concerned about his getting asthma from the metropolitan air. The water is clean and clear and the produce (grown locally) will make up for the imported goods that cost a fortune.
We feel good, if not great, about his new school. The class averages fourteen students per teacher. However, the standards are not as high as the mainland... we will just supplement his public education with some of our own: "It's "Apple+N" for a new window."
The neighbors have been very welcoming. People who are visiting the island are starting to ask us for directions.
I spend one week a month on the island and the rest in Oakland. This way we can transition our business from a lot of face time to just a little bit. Starting in June I will spend only five days a month on the mainland meeting with clients, making new connections, and finalizing work.
Our dream was to provide an environment where our son could thrive and we could feel a sense of accomplishment.
And a place where we can just take a break and make sandcastles at a beach with coconut trees.
Rule Number Two in Achieving Goals: Recognize the accomplishment. Celebrate
and reward yourself.
We highly recommend champagne, long awaited dental work and new shoes.
Soyoung Nam, who I met through my alumni, is a shining example of someone who overcame the odds to follow her dream. She currently works in Japan in finance.
1) Where did you get started in your business?
--It was a bit of a random episode. I majored in Economics and Math, and to tell the truth I wasn't quite interested in economics... I just went to classes, memorized information and took tests until one day, in my senior year, a professor gave a very interesting lecture that really made me curious about finance. He talked about IMF (the Asian currency and economy crisis back in the 90's) and how he used to be a trader in a financial institution at the time. He mentioned how during this terrible time (what most people here will describe to be one of the worst times in history), some became billionaires while many others lost everything they had. I was living in Korea during the IMF period and saw too many people collapse around me, including my family, so this was quite shocking. I started thinking about finance in a different way from then on and after some research and studying, I decided that finance was my #1 choice for my career.
2) What values do you try to live by?
--Work hard, keep trying to get to where you want to be... I had a very tough time finding a job after graduation and I did have many people telling me that I should settle for something less. It really broke my heart (and my parents') but I really kept trying hard while doing my homework (studying and doing research). Also, I was in operations before and wanted to become a trader, which was even harder than finding a job after graduation. Basically every single person told me that it wasn't possible (since I'm a non-Japanese speaker with no experience, plus it's very very rare for middle office employee ( i.e., operations) to move to the front office (sales and trading). It did take me months and about 3000 interviews, but it did get me here, I am a trader now. People were shocked when I finally made it, and now a few of them are trying to move themselves.
3) Who do you consider to be a role model?
--Very cliche answer, but my parents. My mom and dad are actually the opposite of each other: my dad is a quiet, persistent, hard worker (to this day in his 60's, he still builds computers on his own, won't sleep for days until he's figured it out). My mom is very social, charismatic and clever: she uses her intelligence and language skills to communicate with people so well. I try to push myself to be persistant and diligent while working on building great relationships with people around me, just like my parents. Also they've been telling me all my life that I can be anything I want, and they've always been there for me at some toughest times of my life, so I really trust them and learn from them.
4) Name one of your biggest challenges and how you learned from that situation.
--Jobs!! Pretty much everything was "given" to me all my life -- loving parents, great friends, good education etc. until I had to be on my own and become independent. Up to college, I always just thought that things would "happen" and fall into places. That's why I never really bothered to do internships, or take extra classes or really try to make the most of the great opportunities at Cornell. I just thought that like everything else, I'd find a great job that I'd be good at...but I couldn't have been more wrong.
When I failed about a billion interviews, I started doubting everything about myself. Some people may say that I am being overdramatic, but for someone like myself, this can be a life-turning point. I felt like I failed myself and my parents. But the great thing is, I didn't give up (neither did my parents) and just kept trying. I learned so much from that job-searching period. Humbling and rewarding -- I think now I don't have such fantasy that everything will turn out perfectly in my life, but I feel more secure knowing that I can achieve anything if I put in the effort.
5) When was your most successful moment to date?
--This may sound so silly, but I remember taking my first impossibly difficult math course at Cornell. I always got great grades in math in high school, but majoring in math was a whole different story. There were things that I just couldn't even start to understand. It was even harder for me to understand how some other kids knew what it was all about. After panicking and stressing out about a prelim, I sat down for hours and hours trying to understand this one theorem....and suddenly I understood it (and that made me understand the whole material)...literally it was like coming out of the dark into the daylight....that was memorable...and when I bought a trip to Europe for my parents with my first bonus, that was pretty memorable too.
Tara Dishmon is an author, speaker, entrepreneur, and successful staffing consultant helping business’ owners and employees alike to realize their dreams, goals, and true potential through matching the best employees to the best companies!
She has been helping and motivating others towards success her entire life, and when she decided to launch Direct Sourcing Solutions, Inc., she realized that she had the perfect business.
Tara Dishmon has over ten years of experience in Management Recruiting, and she's successfully recruited for some of the largest companies in the Bay Area such as Cisco Systems, McAfee, and Hewlett Packard.
DSS, Inc. was born out of her passion for helping companies succeed. She knows the starting point for a successful company lies in the people that they hire. For her staffing is not just about throwing warm bodies at companies and hoping they stick. She realizes that now, more than ever employees are looking for organizations where they can make a positive and substantial impact.
She also recognizes that many fresh start-ups donot simply see their employees as a means to an end, but actually want companies that have traditional values where people value their work, their employer, and can mutually benefit each other towards achieving greater things than they would have alone.
In addition, she is passionate about diversity recruiting and ensures that the BEST candidates are chosen from a diverse pool of top candidates, those that are recognized as leaders in their respective fields.
She helps large companies to fulfill their critical staffing needs, as well as emerging technology companies to hire Executive Level Candidates, and then everything in between to make their company work. In addition she also provides seminars for new entrepreneurs on best hiring practices and how to grow a successful business through successful hiring.
"I really believe that any good company starts with the people. Look at the success that Google has had, and look at all of the things they offer to their employees. From gourmet food to a steller benefits program, they make sure that they attract the best and the brightest candidates on a consistant basis. Had they not hired as well as they have the road to success would have been more of a struggle. I share the same philosophy that PEOPLE are important. This is why my clients know that I will select their clients with care, based on making a true MATCH for both and not just throwing them mediocre people for the sake of filling a position".
Tara’s passion for helping people really shine through in her life and her work. She is involved in many community outreach initiatives her current is CASA.
If your company is hiring, or you would like to be kept up to date on upcoming business growth seminars that can help grow your business, you may contact Tara Dishmon as follows:
Two weeks from now is International Women's Day and now is a great time to see if there are any events in your area. You could also plan an event! Make sure and upload event details to the central database here
International Women's Day is focused on celebrating the successes of women over the years, and this year's activities include festivals, seminars, teach-ins, and celebrations around the world.
In 1975, during International Women's Year, the United Nations began celebrating March 8th as International Women's Day, and in December 1977 the General Assembly adopted a resolution proclaiming a United Nations Day for Women's Rights and International Peace to be observed by Member States, in accordance with their historical and national traditions.
The UN General Assembly cited two reasons to celebrate Internation Women's Day:
1) to recognize the fact that securing peace and social progress and the full enjoyment of human rights and fundamental freedoms require the active participation, equality and development of women; and
2) to acknowledge the contribution of women to the strengthening of international peace and security.
For all women, the day is a fantastic opportunity to celebrate, to look at how far we have come in terms of equality, peace, and development, as well as an opportunity, as the UN states, to "unite, network and mobilize for meaningful change."
I encourage you to celebrate International Women's Day with the women in your office or at your workplace.
February 18th was Year of the Pig and we celebrated by visiting Chinatown and eating noodles, for long life.
The celebration of the Lunar New Year is the most important of all traditional Chinese holidays and usually requires a trip back home to see the folks, dinner with family and friends, as well as the ever-popular red envelopes that have varying amounts of cash in them (in even number increments only)-- these are called "lai si" and are offered to all unmarried singles and children.
The celebration is one of the biggest for many communities with Asian populations, and as a business, you may participate in the following ways:
1) Use your website to acknowledge and celebrate the New Year for your Asian Pacific Islander customers and clients
2) Attend or sponsor a cultural event, parade, or other Lunar New Year activity in your area
3) Highlight the event and a cultural "snippet" in your company newsletter or e-newsletter
4) Find your local Asian business association or chamber of commerce and attend their upcoming event or sign up for their membership list http://www.awib.org/content_frames/directory/asian/
5) Sponsor an internship, an "exhibition day," or an hour lunch for a group of Asian and Pacific Islander students at the local college or high school.
If small business in America is an economic engine, then the minimum wage of $5.15 buys you what? A gallon and a half of gas? A commute ticket there and back for Monday? Lunch on Tuesday? An hour of child care on Wednesday?
My company, 10K Group LLC, has signed on to Business for a Fair Minimum Wage, an initiative to call attention to the minimum wage, along with:
Jim Sinegal, CEO, Costco
Eileen Fisher, chief creative officer, apparel company Eileen Fisher
John Arensmeyer, CEO, Small Business Majority
Margot Dorfman, CEO, US Women's Chamber of Commerce
Jeffrey Hollender, president, Seventh Generation
Michael Kieschnick, president, Working Assets
Alex Von Bidder, president, The Four Seasons Restaurant, NY
As a signatory, we assert that a minimum wage of $5.15 an hour must be raised so that workers may afford necessities for themselves and their families.
Higher wages benefit business by increasing consumer purchasing power, reducing costly employee turnover, raising productivity, and improving product quality, customer satisfaction and company reputation.
Doing good also means doing well: in a recent National Consumers League survey, for example, 76 percent of American consumers said "how well a company treats/pays employees influences what they buy."
I encourage you to sign on and learn more about the campaign here:
Teresa Ellis, The Realtor Diva, told me that Oprah had a great special on The Secret today.
My coach, Rob Seidenspinner of Sage Circle Coaching, told me about this movie many months ago, and I am so thrilled to hear that the ideas and stories in the DVD are spreading out into the ether of America's consciousness.
For those of you who have recently seen "The Secret" and those of you who are about to get your copy of the DVD, congratulations!
I found the film to be a great opportunity to share insights with my circle and to put myself in a positive mindset. The ideals that all the interviewees talk about are standards for those of us using our business as a vehicle to create solutions for the world:
1) Identify your dream and envision it with perfect clarity
2) Have persistence
3) Seek others to help you attain your dream
4) You attract what you think about: Thoughts are things
I encourage you to take some time to really identify your goals for your business this year, and consider who you need to meet or what must happen for you to achieve those goals.
This Day in the Life: Calling all Women of Color in the Workplace
7:00 a.m. "My supervisor is out sick; hope he gets better.
But what can I say, sounds like a good day for me."
8:00 a.m. "I wait on sales calls to trickle in.
By 8:11 I am bored.
I pull out my new binoculars and
look around the floor.
We have an open cubicle layout
with low walls. Zero privacy…"
Have you ever wondered what another woman's daily life was like? If you could peek into the "day diary" of someone like an EMT, a race car driver, a scientist, or a fast food restaurant employee, what do you think you would learn?
Bindi Rakhra and Joni B. Cole, co-creators of This Day in the Life, are doing this on March 27, 2007, and they want *your* participation!
They're assembling a series of diaries within a 24 hour period in the ordinary lives of hundreds of American women, and this coming month is your turn to share your story with other women.
10:17 a.m. "Diaper change time.
Wonder how many diapers I’ve changed in eleven years?"
11:59 a.m. "My intern is copping a major attitude with me because I totally
ripped apart his work.
Serves him right for doing a half-ass job…"
1:23 p.m. "Case finally finished.
Patient is very obese and could not be extubated."
There have been two other "This Day" books, where women create a day diary on a single, "ordinary" Tuesday. The results come from all types of women, from Miss America to schoolteachers to soldiers.
Working Women are the highlight of the next book, which focuses on what working women across America and with all types of jobs (paying or non-paying) are really doing, thinking, and feeling as they go through their workday, whether they are employed in an office, work at home, or do their job eighty stories up in the air (a window washer for skyscrapers!).
3:07 p.m. "I am fortunate on this construction job to have an indoor bathroom…"
5:40 p.m. "I’m getting 86ed—kicked to the curb, not on tenure track, been there too long, administration change, blah, blah, blah".
As part of this book project 1,000 American women (age 21 or older) will contribute a day diary on a single date—Tuesday, March 27, 2007. From these submissions, the authors will feature about thirty complete day diaries in the book, as well as a range of excerpts on job-related issues. If you're ready to participate, please use the following link and tell them SistersinBiz.com sent you!
Bindi and Joni are actively seeking the input of women of color, so now's a great chance to document your life as part of a growing sisterhood of working women across the country.
6:39 p.m. "My client just left. She loved my jewelry designs! "
10:00 p.m. "On to the next cop show, NYPD 24/7. Here we are, three prosecutors watching a show following cops on their jobs—we really need to branch out".
*Day diary excerpts from This Day in the Life: Diaries from Women Across America
"No one every told me I could dream. They told me to... Be a good girl. Be quiet. Get good grades. Get a good job. Marry someone nice. But you are the first person who told me that I could dream!"
The story above was related by Marcia Wieder at the Mt. Diablo Business Women's dinner a few nights ago, where she spoke about "Forget about Resolutions... This Year Go for your DREAMS!"
Marcia is America's "Dream Coach" at www.dreamcoach.com, and her presentation is totally dynamic. It boils down to the following points:
1) Identify what you want This means to clearly define how you want your life to be and what are you willing to do about that? What are your dreams?
2) Take a step forward towards that dream. A good way to get started is to break down a project into manageable "chunks" each month. This helps you feel like you're accomplishing something and gives you something to go for each month.
3) Act with integrity. If you say you're going to do something, then do it. *OR*, just get it off your plate. Make decisions based on your heart and clear your calendar of anything that is not 100% aligned with your goal.
4) Share your dream with others. As you become more certain of your dream and more aware of your goals, share your goals with others who will support you. Accountability is a huge motivator and when you measure something, it will most definitely improve.
Marcia had an inspiring talk and for those of us in business, I highly recommend that for the remaining part of this month, we go through and specify goals for 2007.
What are your business goals?
Which are your measurable targets in terms of growing your business or increasing your numbers?
Let's identify specific benchmarks we must hit by the first of each month to feel like we're making progress towards those goals.
Share your goals with others by forming a support group and networking with other women in business.
"With joy in life," says Marcia, you can "do more of what you love: you do it with more enthusiasm, with more energy, with more vitality, and with more creativity."
She points out that there is always a "doubter" and a "realist" who want the strategy and the plan for a goal that may seem far-fetched at ay time, but all of us are in the midst of "structural tension" that determines where we are going: that tension always resolves towards the pull of our deepest, most steadfast commitment.
So, for example, if we're committed to the status quo, then we'll stay there.
But if we're committed to our dream, we'll move towards that dream, surely, steadily, and measurably.
"Take your vision, articulate it with passion, and invite and enroll people to join you in making that vision a reality," says Marcia. "And work with intention and integrity... Intention is the rudder that guides you to where you will go. Integrity is the ability to keep your agreements, so that you do what you say you're going to do."
As a side story, Marcia shared her first trip to the Oprah Winfrey show, where, behind the scenes, Oprah came up to her, put her hands on Marcia's shoulders and said: "If there is just one attribute for my success, it is this... I always believed in my dreams... even when no one else did."
Questions for you from Marcia Wieder:
+ What's precious to you? + What is your "entelechy" (guiding principle of your soul)? + How may you live your life in alignment with that entelechy?
"The moment you take one step forward, you're one step towards your dream." - Marica Wieder
Happy New Year and I offer you an inspired 2007, filled with prosperity, peace, personal happiness, and the fulfillment of your goals for the year.
Traditionally the new year is devoted to reflecting on the past twelve months and stating intentions for the year ahead. I encourage you to consider the following aspects of your life, which Marily Mondejar of the Filipina Women's Network has titled "12 Life Areas of Empowerment":
1) Community
Participating, volunteering, helping others in our community (youth, politics, schools)
2) Finances/Economic Security
Managing personal resources, income, budgeting, savings, investments, insurance
3) Environment/Safety
Caring about your physical surroundings, e.g., recycling, pollution, waste removal
4) Family/Kinship
Caring for life partners, marriages, children, parents, extended family
5) Health and Well-Being
Mental, emotional and physical health, feeling good about yourself and others
6) Home/Shelter
Caring for and improving personal space – home, office, car, desk, etc.
7) Learning
Acquiring and applying new knowledge, skills, and abilities to different areas of life
8) Leisure
Diversifying interests and renewing energy through sports, hobbies, entertainment
9) Social Relationships
Getting along with all types of people, nurturing friends, making new acquaintances
10) Spirituality
Exploring the meaning of life through philosophy, religion, humor, the arts, nature
11) Transportation/Mobility
Moving from place to place to take care of our needs as well as our families and friends
12) Work/Career
Choosing a field, feeling satisfied, contributing to society, creating balance
Here is how I approach the planning process for the new year, and believe me, in my personal experience, it works! Whatever you measure will improve.
For example, in 1999, I started tracking my net worth with the express intent of getting out of major consumer debt and building an asset base: I set some goals which (at the time) seemed kind of high, like "save $20,000" or "pay off my student debt" or "buy a house."
Every six months, I took a "snapshot" of where I was and placed it into a special box that I keep for these purposes. Since then, I've accomplished or surpassed every goal I set and I also feel a great deal of pride and happiness in my successes. Looking forward, I continue to set higher, more "big hairy audacious goals," and I continue to track on a weekly, monthly, and yearly basis.
I've also realized that much of where we are at any given moment is the result of choices we made at some fundamental level way, way back. Somewhere in your past is an agreement about where you are now. Additionally, somewhere in your future is a life that is based on an agreement you are making with yourself today.
IMPORTANT NOTE: Making new choices means dropping habits, friends, or behaviors that don't support your chosen path.
So, for 2007, I encourage you to consider all twelve fundamentals and think about what you want to accomplish this year. Write out how you want to be living in each of these Fundamental Areas for January through December of 2007.
Write your affirmation down on a notecard, e-mail it to yourself using futureme.org and post your notes in prominent places throughout your dwelling (near the kitchen sink, the bathroom, the noteboard).
As you place these notecards all around you, you will constantly be affirmed in your intentions for each of these areas.
For example:
Health: I am mindful of my nutrition and food choices. I support my healthy body and my healthy mind: I stretch every day, walk/run/bike/swim at least forty minutes a day and I sleep well at night.
Keep your affirmations close to you and accept them, live them, and believe them. And this time next year let's check in!
So, for 2007, I encourage you to consider all twelve fundamentals and think about what you want to accomplish this year. Write out how you want to be living in each of these Fundamental Areas for January through December of 2007.
