By ELIZABETH HAYT
February 20, 2006 -- Not long ago, I met a photographer with kissable, pillowy lips. But, as his were about to lock into mine, he exhaled, his breath reeking like overripe Camembert cheese. I knew no Altoid could camouflage the odor. It called for nothing less than a dentist's drill.
The guy was too cute to give up on right away, but I was caught in a dating Catch-22. I couldn't voice my suspicion that he had tooth decay because it seemed too personal a matter to confront with someone I barely knew. But I also couldn't imagine a romance blossoming over this blooming onion.
Unlike long-term couples who can laugh at each other's morning trench mouth, singles haven't yet built up the trust, affection and security to enable them to tell the baldfaced truth about odiferous breath without risk of humiliation, hurt feelings or denial. So I opted for a less confrontational means of communication. I sent the photographer an e-mail.
"I really like you and want to see you again, but I have something awkward to tell you. Your breath is a little funky. Maybe you need a good dental cleaning."
His reply: "Thanks for the info. I know I have a bad tooth."
I never heard from him again. So much for honesty.
Most women prefer to dump an olfactory offender without explanation. "The worst experience I ever had was with a guy whose breath smelled like the Meatpacking District," says Karen Robinovitz, co-author of "The Fashionista Files." "It was a sign of bad dental hygiene. He called a few times, but I wasn't going to see him again so I didn't have to tell him."
Bad breath may seem a lightweight reason for rejection, which any person of substance in want of a caring, meaningful relationship should be able to overcome. But an off-putting scent violates a fundamental and primal requirement for sexual attraction - perhaps the prime reason women will reject a guy.
"Odor is a strong component of whether a relationship can happen or not," says Dr. Frank Miller, a New York psychiatrist. "Breath is a manifestation of that instinct. It's not shallow. When it's a dental issue and you can't even be in the same room as the person, it's a deal breaker."
In fact, 90 percent of people between the ages of 16 and 40 cite bad breath as the ultimate turnoff, according to a study published in "Smile! The Ultimate Guide to Achieving Smile Beauty," a book coming out in March by New York dentist Jonathan B. Levine.
Although most noxious oral odors result from poor dental hygiene, which allows for excess bacteria to breed on the tongue, gums or between the teeth, there are numerous other causes, like digestive problems, certain medications and sinus infections, said Dr. Charles Kimmelman, a New York otolaryngologist who specializes in taste and smell.
Short of medical intervention, how should you negotiate a stinky situation without pushing someone away?
Valerie Frankel, author of the newly released "Hex and the Single Girl," suggests an at-home remedy. Invite the guy over for a dinner that starts with a green salad heavy on parsley and ends with a fruit salad of sliced green apples - both foods that supposedly neutralize bad breath. Accompany the meal with water in order to wash away fetid bacteria and, if wine is a must, serve white instead of red, since red leaves a ranker odor. Lauren Ezersky, a fashion journalist, offers a roundabout strategy for clueing in a foul-mouthed bedfellow.
"I would overlook his breath a couple of times to see where things are headed," she says. "You don't want to be too critical on the first date. You have to broach the subject extremely cautiously because men are overly sensitive. On the third date, when he expects to have sex, you say, 'Honey, I've got to stop at Duane Reade and get some supplies.' Along with the Trojans, you get a toothbrush, toothpaste and Listerine and then before you go to bed, you say, 'I have to freshen up.' Hopefully, he gets the message."
But what if he doesn't?
"You flip him a mouthwash with cetylpyridinium, an antibacterial ingredient that really works, like Cepacol or Crest Pro-Health Rinse," says Dr. Levine. "You say, 'Baby, you gotta try this stuff. I love it. Tell me what you think.' You dance around the problem a little bit."
Until then, as I learned the hard way, you have to keep your mouth shut - and hold your breath.
Elizabeth Hayt is the author of "I'm No Saint: A Nasty Little Memoir of Love and Leaving." She can be reached at elizabeth.hayt@nypost.com