By KIRSTEN FLEMING
AS HARD as it is to believe, the supermarket glossies have, at times, led us cruelly astray. Jennifer and Vince never tied the knot, and Jessica Simpson did not have a baby to save her marriage. Jaded with all the folly, we turn to the paranormal to get the real scoop on the stars' universe. With Miss Cleo currently incarcerated for fraud, we tapped a psychic medium without a felony conviction on her record: Mary Occhino, the host of "Angels on Call" on Sirius Satellite Radio.
THE SKINNY ON NICOLE
Why do you think Nicole Richie has lost so much weight?
In their first season of "The Simple Life," Paris looked so much thinner than she did. Television adds so much. I could imagine this girl [Nicole] was tiny, but here she is standing next to someone longer and leaner, and that really affected her.
"If she doesn't shape up, Britney will lose her children."
TOO HOT IN THE KITCHEN
Do you think Mario Batali is going to spontaneously combust?
Between his sweating, and his belly and his orange clogs, I can't look at him anymore! He's a great chef, but it looks like if he has another piece of cheese, his heart is going to burst. I believe he needs to lose the weight - or he'll have a heart attack within three years.
FOX TROT
What's in store for Michael J. Fox?
He will absolutely change the course of history, and he'll be a guinea pig for stem-cell research. He's much bigger than this.
"Russia will be hot for child adoptions!"
Photos: Jeff Vespa/WireImage, Marion Curtis/startraksphoto