Quote ... unquote
"Having to stare at naked women they didn't have to twist my arm too much!"
"If there is a chance to play in an older guys' Twenty20 then I'd be up for it."
"The rising generation who are Africa's future feel utterly betrayed and disgusted by the short-sighted self-serving stupidity of these sports bureaucrats."
"We have no intention of picking him in the foreseeable future. We have to take it slowly. We tend to talk about Bristol City and Bristol Rovers rather than cricket."
"Steve Harmison was seriously good for Durham against us. Brad Hodge came off and said '****, he was quick!' That's a good sign coming from someone like him."
"I don't know why this question is coming up again and again. They have other good players also."
"The war is on now."
"What a pity those ludicrous multi-national matches of 2005 were not staged in Harare. The scores would have been lost forever."
"He would rather go to bed early and read a book on sports psychology."
"This is a horrific regime in Zimbabwe and we should take a stand against it, and included amongst those who should take a stand are our cricketers .... [but] we can't, I suppose, formally ban them."
"It is not sufficient for a government to express a preference that its team not undertake a tour, or to express criticism of or condemn the activities of the government of a member (nation). A positive act of restriction or prohibition is required."
"Maybe the TV umpires will gradually loosen their Masonic-like handshakes with their on-field colleagues."
"This week she's due and she's hung on."
"I had to look at the calendar, I thought it was April 1."
"Even in domestic cricket you can't imagine a match being played after the streetlights have come on."
"I can only say it's similar to the situation where you are sitting at home and the answer to a quiz question on TV looks very simple, but you just lose your train of thought when you are in that heated, pressure situation."
"Rudi is a South African, so he has a louder voice."
"I thought Aleem was having a bit of a joke with us when he said it looks like we'd have to come back tomorrow and play three overs. I said: 'Mate, we've played the 20 overs, we've actually finished the game.'"
"Australia are the winners but cricket has been the loser. It's not a money-making exercise, it's about people."
"He told me that, as I effectively replaced him in the Test side in 1994, he was looking forward to getting square by sticking the knife in and ending my Test career. Merv, of course, was only joking."
"I'd do the same thing, but hit it next time."
"Replace Peter Moores with, say, Jeff Everest or Rick Center-Parcs and we might be getting somewhere."
"I've been joking around the rooms saying that I'm thinking about coming out of retirement."
"Malcolm has been living in Dubai for too long. As I've said before, they've got a hotel under the sea there and a ski resort in the desert. It's too far away from reality."
"There has been far too much negative comment which is ill-informed. I don't mind criticism but you want people to get the facts right."
"I definitely don't think we choked. We just weren't good enough."
"I know people say losing the semi-final is like kissing your sister,
but we can take huge positives out of the World Cup."
"The team that had bored and bungled their way around the Caribbean, baldy letting down their thousands of travelling fans, slipped in unheralded and largely unnoticed."
"The interminable World Cup continues and the words 'police' and 'investigation' seem to be poles apart. meanwhile, the game's governing body have all become Trappist monks. Don't mention the war and we might get away with it."
"There may not be any attacks tonight because we are also watching the match."
"They will definitely win if they depart at an astrologically right time."
"The way we are going our first look at the ground will be on match morning - from about 6000 feet."
"Trusting county committeemen to do what is best for the national game is like putting Brer Fox in charge of chickens."
"It's never easy sacking somebody, however incapable and inefficient he/she may be ...but to give another job and that too one which deals with the future of Indian cricket after the mess the present of Indian cricket has been landed into, makes one wonder if we will ever get out of the inferior complex syndrome."
"It's disgusting. I have to pay US$100 dollars for a photograph with Sobers who I have had adored since my childhood."
"At the very end, a man who throughout his career had done so much to mask the deficiencies of his team had been undone by the foible of a team-mate. It was sad, but it was apt."
"He is not really talking to me at the moment, he has given up."
"It is almost as if he is saying 'go to hell the English public, I will write a book one day and make a load of money'.
"I've not read the book."
"Paul Collingwood is quite attractive for a ginger."
"I was at matches early in the event where there was a lot of noise. I can't help it if people want to take a critical approach to all issues."
"England have been humiliated and that's not good enough. Duncan Fletcher has done some great things, but everyone has a shelf life, and his has expired. The camp looks split. They're all over the place, in disarray, and I hope the ECB are looking for the right person. He has to be a strong character, with a proven track record."
"Get out the birth certificates ... anyone who's 32 or over, they're out of it."
"The chicken dance came out of when I am out on the dancefloor, the guys say I look like a chicken so that's just a celebratory dance I've given to the guys."
"The bulk of responsibility for the almost pulseless fiasco is quite properly being laid at the door of the International Cricket Council, a body as notorious for organisational ineptitude as it is for scuttling away from anything resembling an ethical principle. There isn't a shovel big enough to pile on the opprobrium deserved by such a crew."
"There must be two Justin Langers in the world, I think."
"It's not Kevin Pietersen v Graeme Smith. We won't be having a beer together afterwards."
"Somehow no one is talking him (Andre Nel) up as one to watch this tournament. Maybe it's just because he's a bit of a twit. Or rather less polite words to that effect."
"You're not getting in there without a shower cap".
"Calf strains are a very unusual thing in cricket. It might have something to do with this ground, the sandy, heavier ground, that guys are hurting their calves."
"Did he get his run-up wrong? Was the little man in his head talking about something he didn't want him to? Only he'll know that."
"If I have to spend all my waking hours denying all that is appearing in the media, I will have no time to attend the meetings."
"I always read in the international press where they say I am under pressure ... but my contract doesn't say that I have to win matches, it says as long as I am competitive, then my employers are happy."
"Let's concentrate on watching the cricket shall we?"
"There has been a lot of talk about the so-called minnows devaluing the tournament. It is a charge that could now be justifiably made against the West Indies, once the kings of the game and champions of the first two tournaments."
"This has been a World Cup for the organisers, the visitors and the players but certainly not for the people. That's why the stadiums are empty and that in itself is a con job. It's the biggest con job ever passed off in this region."
"The International Cricket Council is ... about making money, having rules, and siding with narrow commercial interests even at the expense of basic human decency, let alone local colour. The game's bosses have wrecked their own party with their greed."
"It is like watching cricket at Lord's. It's no bloody different."
"We had to rely on the advice of the local organising committee to establish the prices of the tickets. It is, in retrospect, a little too rich for the local palate."
"At the moment we are doing this using a lot of spreadsheets and they just cannot cope with the sheer volume of the money and the projects that are coming in from it."
"If Mr Gough's parents are alive, then one hopes that they acknowledge that he is an embarrassment to the human race ... the serpents and gorillas that live in Mr Gough's mind compelled him to descend to a level of pitiful, sickening and Hitleristic journalism about Guyana."
"The nets are wet and the run-ups are wet ... some of the batsmen have had throw-downs and after a major fight the bowlers have been allowed to practice on the outfield."
"Please, organisers, please, give a thought to the people that really
matter - the spectators - and get the grounds filled up."
"Definitely no one will be going for autographs any more."
"He's a class player in both forms of the game, but the tempo of his innings probably wasn't what they needed."
"Malcolm Speed is not a man who elicits a great deal of sympathy from the cricket community. He is a cold fish, lawyerly in every respect."
"Fifty overs is a long time for some of these minnows."
"Nixon's an extrovert, at least outwardly."
"If you were writing a fairytale, you wouldn't write it this way."
"Next time they will probably stick to the hotel bar."
"Cricket cannot be seen to succumb to a dastardly act such as this any more than society does to terrorism."
"It is all rubbish. I must say it is sensationalism at its worst."
"It was sort of four hours of hell. I spent four hours in the foetal position, basically. It was a nightmare."
"The boys are not stopping jumping in the dressing-room."
"Zimbabwe shouldn't be playing international cricket on moral grounds, and the ICC overlooks that to its eternal shame."
"There is a history to this story. It's not the first time. In Australia he had three or four warnings over his behaviour."
"I'm ashamed. I feel I've let people down, the team, the management, family, friends and the public back home. It has been a horrible few days to be honest."
"I am shocked and badly hurt. We have lost a good coach and a good person."
"Some people go to bed at 10.30pm tired, other people like to go for a drink."
"At least it shows that England's cricketers are as crazy as their footballers."
"Before the game we said 'Let's make history today.' Well, we made history."
"The rum's too strong for me here. But I'll have a couple of beers."
"Anchor David Gower crowbarring in tedious references to calypso music, island paradises and Bob Marley. I've yet to hear him mention rum, rice and peas, or cannabis, but we're only a couple of days in; give him time."
"What can you say? I told Daan after the third ball, 'try to bowl a quicker one' and he said, 'I just did'. There were a few good balls in it and a few shit ones."
"One of the things I realised pretty early is that I'm 40 and if I try to pretend I'm 25 I'll fall flat."
''It wouldn't be rash to suggest Sunil might find a fist flying into his face if he wandered into a pub in Sydney or Melbourne and repeated that line."
"I lost kilograms and joked with teammates that if my cricket career was over, I'd be able to get a job as a jockey."
"Doing a few raids on gang houses wasn't particularly nice and mortuary stuff wasn't great. There were a few dead bodies along the line. It puts everthing into perspective. If you get hit for four, you get hit for four."
"I don't believe I coach cricketers, I coach people in cricket uniforms."
"He loves India. He has named his child India. His biggest player is actually Tendulkar. Right now I'm hoping Tendulkar does not hit a catch to him because he will probably drop it to watch him bat."
"The only thing he has to worry about is finding criminals every day and play cricket on Sundays."
"Watching cricket is one of the best ways of avoiding working known to man."
"She tells me the same thing she always does, to back my ability, and it's the same thing Troy Cooley says to us every day."
"Eat, sleep, gym."
"And Ryan ten Doeschate all-of-a-sudden becomes Ryan fifteen Doeschate".
"There's no way I could make any money out of a book after how I performed."
"Let the players not follow us"
"The Darren Goughs, Simon O'Donnells, Steve Waughs and myself had to have changes of pace because we weren't super express."
"If it means cutting the finger off, if that's the worse case scenario, if that's the last resort, I'll do that, there's no way I'm missing this."
"Vision has been lost about what's important and what is not."
"For us to beat Australia would be like the Faroes beating Brazil at football. In fact it might even be bigger than that - more like us beating Brazil when Berti Vogts was in charge."
"I got some pretty funny text messages from him after every one of the games - 'how are you ... are you on the next flight over?' and 'you can have your job back, I don't want it any more'."
"I've been dead and I know what it's like in the other world. I had already written my will and all my bats were going to my son Ty, but I would have loved to play and win for Zimbabwe."
"It was a tough decision, but to quote Confucius, you need to change your profession every 15 years to retain your passion, motivation and commitment."
"My theory is that every time a batsman plays and misses he should be asked to take off one piece of protective clothing of the bowler's choice."
"Message to Aussie cricket coach John Buchanan: please take your team home as the Black Caps are missing out on valuable practice for the World Cup."
"I actually don't think we did too badly with the ball and in the field."
"Look what's happened to the West Indies since we stopped having them as overseas players, their game has gone downhill."
"I'm probably the best Brazilian cricketer in the world because no-one has actually heard anything in Brazil about cricket."
"I hate to think 'typical Johannesburg airport' but there is a bit of history."
"Chris Read's treatment has been scandalous. I've started calling him Lord Lucan because he has disappeared off the radar inexplicably."
"I was too drunk to realise what was going on, to be honest!"
"Ever since David slew Goliath we have been cheering for the underdog. Long may it continue, even if we are now increasingly suspicious that the latest glorious uncertainty was scripted the night before."
"People didn't believe me when I said the growth in this side can go anywhere."
"We are aiming for Pluto, but we may end up on Saturn or in the worst case we may end up in Mars, which still is where no man has gone before."
"Had it been in India or other parts of the subcontinent, where betting and match-fixing is rife, a number of Zimbabwe's cricketers would have been locked up for questioning last night and probably appearing in court as early as Monday."
"There may be people that suggest this is the fun police gone wrong stopping people from enjoying their day at the cricket."
"A poor decision from Darrell Harper who is, in my opinion, a poor umpire. He's made too many shockers and yet the ICC don't change their umpires ... they see the footage and yet we see the same umpires, year in and year out"
"He doesn't tell me how I should bowl and I should hope not, his bowling record wasn't much good. I suppose maybe next time he might keep [his thoughts] to himself. I had a few words with him and it will be interesting to see if he comes out with anything this year."
"This is gross human rights abuse but I need to look after my family. Cricket is my job and I cannot risk my job for dreadlocks."
"England have the opportunity to expose the limitations of the triangular format, by playing abysmally for most of the series before completing the ultimate heist: a couple of Duckworth/Lewis victories over Australia in the finals."
"I sincerely feel that I deserve a couple of chances to prove myself all over again. I have played for India over six years and 100 ODIs with distinction, so that stage is passed where I have to prove my capabilities. It's just about getting runs in the kitty. Until I get that opportunity, how do I show my form."
"A few months ago Duncan Fletcher said he knew 10 or the 11 for England's World Cup side ... now they can't even agree on who the best 30 are."
"Paul Nixon is the best wicketkeeper in the world at the moment. His collection is absolutely superb up at the stumps and to the fast bowlers. It's a shame he's been given the opportunity so late because he has been one of the best for a while."
"I'd never allow WAGS on tour. Fighters go away to get mean. You can't get mean if you've got wives and children running around."
"Normally I'd go out running at 4am. But Albina, my wife, used to get up with me, look out of the window and say: 'Oh Henry, you can't go out in that, it's raining. I'll make you a nice cup of tea.' I lost the fight badly."
"Whatever talent the team management has seen in Raina, the youngster has done well to conceal it on the international stage."
"The contract had run out: do your best, contrive spurious excuses and run home to check your bank account."
"I feel cricket and football are for the rough guys."
"We have one or two gripes with the ICC, I guess, and maybe this is not the forum to discuss it."
"Flintoff underneath it ... he's a good, safe pair of hands ...er ... a good, safe pair of hands when he gets to it."
"I can't see any problems with it except the ICC ...which is an obvious problem."
"I'm not a betting man... but if I was it's anyone's game at the moment."
"I was a bit concerned my name wasn't going to fit on the shirt."
"I'm sorry to tell you I've just cut my hair. If I keep changing my look people won't recognise me."
"Gibbs is just a naive kid. The problem with him is he doesn't think before he talks."
"Go back to the zoo!"
"I was thinking about the reverse Mexican wave where you get everybody to stand up and sit down in unison instead of standing up. I don't know if it will be successful or not."
"I was stopped by people in the street this morning who said they nearly cried when he took his two wickets."
"The last World Cup was four years ago. Now it's 2007. I played in the 1987 World Cup, 1983 and 1979 also. Will you pick me?"
"Some people tell me I am a Ferrari without control. If they tell me I am a Ferrari, that is a top car. If I am a Ferrari without control, all I need is a steering wheel."
"Unfortunately, in today's merry-go-round, I think you can call it, tour itineraries are just nonsensical."
"The team are sorry things haven't gone to plan."
"Bracks [Nathan Bracken] was bowling off about two or three steps and he was squealing when he was copping it in the thigh-pad."
"Paul Harris was made to look like Lord Harris."
"Five minutes of a lovers' tiff, but we've sorted it all out."
"'Ask the coach?' Steve, how long have you been around, mate? Do it yourself."
"Warne should retire and be a pantomime dame ... made up in a great big dress with bouffant hair."
"Look, mate, I'm really sorry but it's not my thing. If you can get me on the football show on Sky I'll happily do that'."
"I feel so bad about mine I'm going to tie it round my cat. It doesn't mean anything anymore. It's a joke."
"Despite my reputation as a bit of a cricket anorak, I'm not a huge one for history."
"The urn will return to Lord's after the exhibition tour finishes at the end of January."
"No, I'm looking forward to getting away from it."
"Everyone keeps saying 'you'll know when it's time'. Well, at one o'clock two days ago I knew it was time - it just came to me."