When people think about heroes going on epic quests to save the world from total destruction, the obvious beats come to mind; the dangerous foes threatening life at every turn, the arduous tasks required to prove one's strength and valor, t...

Every once in a while something comes along that's so remarkably on-brand for us that it's hard for us to say no. We long for the opportunity to get our hands on it, and savor every last drop. Genital Jousting, a game where you play as a di...

Gaming is such a strange and wonderful hobby. You can play in recreations of history’s greatest moments, explore alien planets, race in futuristic space craft and now play as a big floppy penis that is trying to insert itself in the a...

From the reality-is-stranger-than-fiction department, a guy went on Reddit and confessed that he'd been earning cash for EVE by jerking off and fucking his Fleshlight, a flashlight that hides a rubber vagina from the people that y...

To celebrate the release of Shin Megami Tensei: Strange Journey Redux in Japan, Atlus has revealed the results of a recent popularity poll held in Japan. The poll ranked all 345 demons that will appear in the game, which is an impressive nu...

"Every day we stray further from God." -Dzousa Not to be outdone by yesterday's bizarre Atari bluetooth baseball cap, KFC and Mountain Dew have teamed up to sell you a Bluetooth-enabled actual box of chicken that doubles as a game controlle...

Howdy there my fellow fellers. Today's Comments of the Week is brought to you by this old man from 1992's Phalanx box art and yours truly, ZombZ. This is my first go at this and I'm hoping to do this beloved blog series justice, like F...

It looks like the next timed event in Overwatch won't be Valentine themed, though that still may be something to look forward to in the future. Last night the Overwatch team revealed that the next event will be themed around Chinese Ne...

Destructoid is not your typical video game site. Now, I know what you're fucking thinking: what the fuck makes Destructoid such a hip and happening spot? Well, other than the fucking fact that this motherfucker right here won't shut the fuc...

[With emotions riding high in the community, Deadmoon shares with us why exactly it is he loves this crazy, broken Dtoid family. <3 ~ JuIc3] A lot of my friends make fun of me when I tell them that I'm an active part of an online communi...

So, one of the main benefits of joining the writing staff here is that I've been included on the tip line. Basically, anyone in the world can send an e-mail to [email protected], and the writing staff can sort through those submissions a...

YouPorn, which my colleagues tell me is a supplier of online "adult" entertainment, sponsors an eSports team, Team YP. It has since 2014, back when I wrote, "More like spornsporning an eSporn team." Hah, nice. Unfortunately, this relationsh...

There's something about the Mr. Destructoid helmet that brings out the animal in people. I've seen sheepish tiny McChicken-like boys turn into fearless crotch-thrusters, running up on stages and doing what three shots of Jager could not aff...

Dear lord it's bright. Worked till 6am, drank till 8 and back up at 12pm. Choices. Ugh. It's almost 1pm and I need to go back to work. At least it's Friday and it's a short, 4hr shift. It's the little things. Now excuse me, there's ham on m...

The downfall of Japanese game development has been greatly exaggerated. It sort of reminds me of what happened a century ago, when Dr. Kellogg introduced Kellogg's Corn Flakes in hopes that it would reduce masturbation. Kellogg devoted much...

I'm just going to leave this here: "Genital Jousting is an online and local multiplayer party game about flaccid penises and wiggly anuses for up to eight players at once. Players control a detached penis complete with testicles and an anu...

Well isn't this Hunky Dory? A nice little Friday. We have a new Call of Duty to play together. We have a new Fallout to play with ourselves (HA! HA!). We have herpes. Wait, that's just me. My bad. "So shut up and tell us what's changing Mik...

Do you ever find yourself playing video games for more than eight hours straight? If you answered yes, would you consider sleeping with -- or fucking -- a serial killer? According to OKCupid, 25 percent of you are likely to answer yes. ...;

Madden 16 used the above photo for Marshawn Lynch in its running backs player rating reveal. He is, naturally, number one at 96 overall. He cannot, however, grab his dick in defiance, as he is wont to do in real life. Seriously, watch this.

Sometimes they just slip through the cracks.

Back when I was telling you about how Rust automatically generates penis size based on Steam ID, a footnote to that article was that female player models were on their way to the survival sandbox, too. Well, this momentous addition was anno...

Haha, rustic. I think it's time for Jordan to take another Rust adventure. The open world survival sim is fascinating. It recently made headlines when players flipped out after it randomly assigned face and skin tone to users' Steam IDs. An...

Someone think about the children! Like my own personal brand, LEGO is a family-friendly, name-stealing company. And so the open-ended, Minecraft-like builder LEGO Worlds has some problem what with immature idiots' propensity to build cock. ...

Guys, I have a problem. I'm thirsty as hell. Not for some sweet meat slapping, but for blood. Your blood. Someone needs to hit me up on Xbox or PC for some Mortal Kombat X action. I have 9 Komplete on PC as well. LET'S DO THIS THANG! I need...

I don't even have it in my heart to 'shop your face into those penguin eyes. Our fearless Boner Knight: Andy Dixon is leaving us as Community Manager. From the first time I was an asshole to you Andy, to the last time I was an asshole to yo...