Big Brother gave Nicky a pig of a punishment today, after she came to the Diary Room to talk about a completely different issue - her new-found determination to quit her costly fag habit.

After asking "What should I do about the cigarettes?" and ranting about her cravings, Nicky got ready to leave. "I'm going now," she said, "I'll come and tell you how my non-smoking is going tomorrow."

"Please sit down Nicky," Big Brother instructed, before intoning gravely, "Earlier this evening, you took it upon yourself to push a pork pie into the lens of the Diary Room camera."

"Oh my word, I so did not!" Nicky yelled.

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"As you know, tampering with fixtures and fittings is strictly forbidden," Big Brother reminded her.

"No, no, no, I did not push that pork pie!" the brunette shouted. "I held it up to the camera and Seány pushed it in. And if you recall, and look back at the film, you'll see me saying, 'No no no, don't push it into the camera, we'll get in to trouble'."

"Big Brother has provided you with cleaning stuff and would like you personally to spend two hours cleaning the mirrors of the House," Big Brother told her solemnly. "Big Brother would like you to do this in the next two hours."

"No, 'cause it's raining," Nicky huffed, before whining, "I'm not taking this punishment! I didn't push the pork pie into the camera lens. In fact, shall I go and get Seány so you can ask him yourself?"

Her answer? "Big Brother's decision is final."

Oh Nicky, that sounds really offal...