Is there such a thing as a rape fetish, where a woman wants to scream say no, and go through the motions as if she was being raped and pretend to resist?
Rape fantasies are extremely common among both women and men. Rape fantasies are essentially fantasies of sexual submission -- the desire to cede control to another person, or to have someone else take the dominant role. As far as I know, fantasies of being raped are far more common among women. This may be because it is still socially unacceptable for women to assert their own sexuality -- they may find it more comfortable to have someone else take responsibility for sexual urges. In rare cases, people who wish to act out rape fantasies have suffered real sexual assault or abuse in the past, and playacting within safe boundaries and guidelines is their way of healing themselves, or gaining a sense of control of the situtation.

There is a WORLD of difference between having a rape fantasy and acting it out in reality. A person with a fantasy of being raped does not really want to be raped. They may want to playact in the submissive role, but they must always know that they are actually safe and that if they want it to stop it will stop.

Experienced practitioners of BDSM (bondage & discipline, sadism & masochism) are extremely careful to negotiate all of the details of a fantasy like this beforehand. What types of language may be used? Does the woman want to be called names, and if so which ones are acceptable? Does the woman want to be slapped or spanked? What are her limits physicaully, emotionally and psychologically? Keep in mind that the fantasy probably goes significantly farther than what she wants in reality.

The most important aspect of any dominance and submission roleplaying is the establishment of a safeword. The person playing the submissive role must be able to use this word AT ANY TIME and stop play immediately without fear of recrimination. She might use other words like "Stop! Please!" to create the impression of struggling or resisting, but the only word that really means stop might be "Mercy" or "END GAME." It is her ultimate veto power, and her ability to use this word is the distinction between real and fantasy rape.

In some cases, the person in the submissive role might use the safeword as a temporary "time out" so that he/she can explain to the dominant what is wrong. Was the language too personal? Did the play get too rough?

It is the responsibility of the person playing the dominant role to listen for this word and obey it by stopping immediately. Anyone who ignores the safeword is a true rapist and is committing a crime.

See the Guidelines on the Difference Between BDSM and Sexual Abuse for more information.

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