Friday, January 06, 2006

Looking for Work in All the Wrong Places

Regular readers of Sally Forth (yes, I'm addressing you two) may know that Ted Forth is dissatisfied with his current job and is pondering new employment opportunities. With that in mind good ol' Josh of The Comics Curmudgeon suggested the following possible career tracks, to which I added the most probable dialogue. Which will wind up on your funny pages later this year? Only you, dear reader, can help me make that call...

A Renegade Cop Who Plays by His Own Rules:
"Is that blood?! Oh, God, tell me that's not blood! AUGH! It's blood! It's blood!!! Blood on my pants! Somebody catch me..."

NASCAR Pit Crew Member:
"Seriously, none of you guys saw the Colin Firth 'Pride & Prejudice'? In a word--divine!"

Pastry Chef:
"Not bad...if 'croquembouche' is French for 'travesty'!!!"

Mob Accountant:
"Italian sausages on toasted rolls with sweet pepper and onion saute? That's...that's not a proper breakfast. Here, let me make you some of my patented 'Ted Tahoe Brunch'..."

Gay Porn Star:
"Oh...oh my..."

Gas Station Attendant:
"I think the problem with your car is the corpuscle...wait, is that right?"

"You just have to make do with what you find. See, some mayo, a highlighter, old aluminum foil and viola! Frosted tips!"

Lion Tamer:
"Not the face! Not the face!!!"


yellojkt said...

Gay porn star: Let me at that meatloaf!

10:37 AM  
me said...

Gay porn star-Pastry chef ...

10:55 AM  
J.Po said...

Gay porn star. He's already 1/3 of the way there.

But if you add "Weenie" to the list, all bets are off.

11:42 AM  
jodi said...

oh definitely renegade cop.

12:44 PM  
Falcon said...

Aren't we taking a risk that a change to a high-profile career will blow Ted's cover as a CIA operative/Russian sleeper agent?

12:47 PM  
Woodrowfan said...

owner of a meatloaf resturant called "The Lazy Burger."

12:50 PM  
Eric said...

You do realize that "Not the face! Not the face!!!" would also fit "gay porn star", don't you?

2:00 PM  
Anonymous said...

I say chef; you know all the PROPER meals and all....

3:28 PM  
Anonymous said...

He should become the new artist for "Unfit." (hmm ... won't let me leave the tag, but google for "Scott Adams" "Artist" and "Unfit" and I'm sure it will turn up.)

Anyway, Ted could draw the strip and then he and Sally could also operate this really funny web site ...

7:22 AM  
Some Guy Here said...

Oh man, this is the best thing I've read on or off the pages.

See, if something like Cathy or such actually humored reader's suggestions, maybe they actually wouldn't suck.

But then again, that's exactly what Pluggers does and they still suck. Eh, whatever, this is still great!

11:01 PM  
yellojkt said...

Hey, I saw the Colin Firth Pride and Prejudice. Can I be on Ted's pit crew? He's my hero.

9:54 PM  

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