05.21.2007 NINTENDO WII AND DS RELEASE SCHEDULE

Nintendo gave us a Wii game release date list and a DS game release date list not too long ago, and as the temperature rises outdoors they can sense our indoor worries of a Nintendo drought approaching. Here's the reassuring updates, the first two games on the Wii list are the big ones worth remembering:

Wii
July 30 Mario Strikers Charged Nintendo
Aug. 20 Metroid Prime 3 Corruption Nintendo
September Battalion Wars 2 Nintendo
Aug. 14 High School Musical: Sing It! Disney Interactive Studios
Aug. 14 Madden NFL '08 EA
August Tiger Woods PGA Tour '08 EA
August Space Station Tycoon Namco Bandai
August Brunswick Pro Bowling Crave
August Dave Mirra BMX Challenge Crave
August Pinball Hall of Fame: The Williams Collection Crave
September Brothers in Arms Ubisoft
September Looney Tunes: Acme Arsenal Warner Bros.
September George of the Jungle Crave
Fall Boogie EA

In other words, we get Mario Strikers Charged, and then we're on our own all Summer. Then we get Metroid Prime 3: Corruption and are forced to ration wisely until Winter, which better be when Super Mario Galaxy is finally released. This plan should work well though, it will give Nintendo games each month to feel proud about, and then when we inevitably get bored this Summer, PlayStation 3 should finally have some great games for us to try. For the shit ton of upcoming Nintendo DS games on the way, go here and scroll all the way down. The one most of you are probably looking forward to is Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trials and Tribulations, which Capcom has moved up to an August release.

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04.11.2007 SCREW ATTACK'S TOP TEN GAMECUBE GAMES

ScrewAttack has gone out of their way to make yet another great video for gamers to enjoy and debate. This time it's their opinion on the top ten best GameCube games, as a farewell to the dying console that was arguably dead since day one. As usual, I agree with their picks, just disagree on their order, here's how they ranked them:

  • 10. Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem
  • 9. Ikaruga
  • 8. Soul Calibur II
  • 7. Viewtiful Joe
  • 6. Super Mario Sunshine
  • 5. Animal Crossing
  • 4. Super Smash Bros. Melee
  • 3. Metroid Prime
  • 2. Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
  • 1. Resident Evil 4

I don't really feel right calling Twilight Princess a GameCube game, it's something we wanted ever since they showed that damn GameCube E3 tech demo with Link fighting Ganon in impressive 3D graphics, yet we didn't get it until the Wii came out. Eventually we got Wind Waker, which was definitely much better than expected, but putting off a single game for an entire console's lifespan, and then dumping it on the Wii to make us follow them on a risky idea was despicable.

I'd take Twilight Princess off this list and exile it to whatever the Wii's outcome is, and throw Wind Waker on this list near the top. Then I'd try to squeeze Pikmin in on the bottom somehow, bump up Eternal Darkness to mid-list, and probably move Super Smash Bros. Melee to the number two slot. I hate the Resident Evil games, and even though Resident Evil 4 was the change I always wanted from the series, I still didn't like it that much. I can recognize a great game when I play one though, even if I don't like it, so I'm happy with it on top. What would you guys change? What's your number one picks?

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03.22.2007 TOP TEN TOUGHEST GAMES TO BEAT

IGN put together this top ten list by polling editors around the office, and combining their lists with reader review input. Here's the ten they claim to be the toughest games to beat of all time:

  • 10. Ninja Gaiden Black
  • 9. Devil May Cry 3
  • 8. Battletoads
  • 7. R-Type
  • 6. MDK2
  • 5. Super Ghouls 'N Ghosts
  • 4. F-Zero GX
  • 3. Shinobi
  • 2. Mega Man
  • 1. Contra

Obviously endless games like World of Warcraft are disqualified, but I thought E.T. on Atari would show up on the list. How many have you and your friends beaten? I didn't reach a passing grade, but in my defense, not all "classic" games are good just because they're hard to beat. There's nothing that pisses me off more in gaming than people who constantly brag about beating games that came out decades ago.

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02.26.2007 TOP TEN GAMES TO PLAYED WHEN STONED

Games.net compiled a list of what they thought are the best games to play when you're stoned. Normally I would suggest not doing drugs, but TheLastBoss actually encourages drug use while playing games - it gives the bosses an upper hand. It's the closest thing we'll ever get to having cheat codes of our own. The video has an annoying black and white intro that's not very groovy, but once you hear the stoned narrator just sit back and relax as the list counts down. Here they are in order if you're too spaced out to keep up.

  • 10. PaRappa the Rapper
  • 9. Fantavision
  • 8. SSX Tricky
  • 7. Viewtiful Joe
  • 6. Sly Cooper and the Thievius Raccoonous
  • 5. Lumines
  • 4. Beyond Good and Evil
  • 3. Super Smash Bros. Melee
  • 2. Katamari Damacy
  • 1. Rez

Grandma's Boy aficionados would argue that the list lacks an FPS, and I'm shocked a Mario title didn't make the cut simply for having mushrooms in it, but it has a good variety of colorful games that are sure to stimulate your mind before hunger gets the best of you. I think Silent Hill should be added on there as a challenging though - instead of finding the meaning of life in a Katamari, let's see you have a bad acid trip and run past Silent Hill enemies without wigging out.

Speaking of getting stoned . . . you can watch Snoop Dogg play video games at the Hip Hop Gaming League here

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02.22.2007 TOP TEN GAME SECRETS

Screw Attack's top ten boobs in video games list put me in a mood. No, not for porn, but for more Top 10 lists, and Screw Attack isn't new to these topic. Here's their classic top ten game secrets list from last year - I like how each year passes but we still look to retro games for the best secrets and cheats. Of all ten games on the list, only one was released in recent years:

  • Mega Man - pause trick
  • Street Fighter II - mirror match
  • Legend of Zelda - second quest code
  • Mortal Kombat - blood enabled
  • Grand Theft Auto San Andreas - hot coffee mod
  • Altered Beast - cartridge swap
  • Sonic the Hedgehog - debug mode
  • Metroid - Justin Bailey cheat
  • Contra - Konami code
  • Super Mario Bros. - sewers warp pipes
Pretty good list, although I think a random level from Wolfenstein 3D's Dark Secret chapter deserves a spot among the rest - I can't think of any other game that has a hundred secret passages in a single level. Can you think of any other cheats or secrets that should be on the list?
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02.21.2007 TOP TEN BOOBIES IN VIDEO GAMES

ScrewAttack has another video out, but this time they're not helping us financially by previewing a new game. This is a loving look back on all the best video game boobs in the industry's history, and when it starts with God of War, and Lara Croft doesn't take the tit trophy, you know it's not that bad. They've even included an obscure game that I've never heard of, where the game's objective is to slap breast monsters before they use their racks as helicopter blades to fly away. That rivals Katamari Damacy in genius, but the rest of the list is pretty cut and dry with winners from popular franchises. Here's all ten of them if the name of the list isn't enough incentive for you to watch the video:

  • God of War
  • BloodRayne
  • Stretch Panic
  • Tekken series
  • Rumble Roses wrestling girls
  • Lara Croft - Tomb Raider
  • Dead or Alive series (bouncing boobs for the first time)
  • Dead or Alive Xtreme Volleyball
  • Outlaw Golf
  • The Guy Game (Real women)

I was surprised the Japanese Oneechanbara vorteX game wasn't included though - here's why: this video.

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02.12.2007 THE FIVE WORST GAME WEAPONS EVER

Glitchoris not only has an awesome Web site name, they also have a good list of the five most worthless game weapons of all time. With a picture like the one above, how could it not be accurate? After one night of getting drunk and arguing about it, here's the five they settled on:

  • 5. Single Banana - Mario Kart 64
  • 4. Michael Vick - Madden ‘06
  • 3. Zeus’ Lightning Bolt - God of War
  • 2. Sub Machine Gun - Halo
  • 1. Klobb - Goldeneye 64
The bananas definitely deserve to be on the list - that has to be one of the most self-harmful weapons in gaming history. Naming a terrible football player was clever, but I don't know if I'd put Klobb at the top of the list. It was definitely the worst back in the day when GoldenEye 64's Soviet guns looked like arm sized Duracell batteries, but my pick for worst weapon ever would have to be the Goldeen Pokeball from the Super Smash Bros games that affectively did nothing. If that's cheating since Goldeen is a random outcome of that item, then I'd have to go with the Giant's Knife from Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. It was an awesome sword for a whole ten seconds until it broke. Your only alternative to make you feel better about your impotent inventory was the tedious Biggoron's Sword quest that wasn't even worth the trouble. What are some other equally awful weapons that deserve to be on the list?
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02.08.2007 TOP TEN COOLEST CHARACTERS

ScrewAttack has put together another Top 10 list - this time they've picked out what they believe to be the coolest ten characters in video games, allowing for only one character to be chosen from each series.  I agree with some of their picks, but not with their order at all - bump number eight up a few notches. Here they are:

  • 10. Guile
  • 9. Mega Man
  • 8. King of the Cosmos
  • 7. Earthworm Jim
  • 6. Ninja Ryu Hayabusa
  • 5. Snake
  • 4. Lara Croft
  • 3. Dante
  • 2. Cloud
  • 1. Duke Nukem 

I think their number one pick is pretty good though, I can't think of a better best pick. Maybe Kratos will replace Duke Nukem in another few months.

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11.13.2006 OFFICIAL PS3 LAUNCH GAMES

This Friday the PS3 finally launches here in America, and a few more games have disappeared from the launch list of games. Make sure you revise your purchase lists now and put aside all the money you're going to need:

  • Resistance: Fall of Man
  • Untold Legends: Dark Kingdom
  • Genji: Days of the Blade
  • NBA 07
  • Sonic the Hedgehog -- Delayed off of launch list.
  • Call of Duty 3
  • Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion -- Delayed to Q1 2007.
  • F.E.A.R. -- Delayed off of launch list.
  • Ridge Racer 7
  • Fight Night Round 3
  • Blazing Angels: Squadrons of WW II -- Delayed until December.
  • Full Auto 2: Battlelines -- Delayed until early December.
  • Madden NFL 2007
  • Marvel Ultimate Alliance
  • Mobile Suit Gundam: Crossfire
  • NBA 2k7
  • Need for Speed: Carbon
  • NHL 2k7
  • Tiger Woods PGA Tour 07
  • Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six: Vegas -- Delayed until December.
  • Tony Hawk's Project 8
  •  

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    10.30.2006 Top 50 Worst Game names ever

    It's hard to figure out if Nuts and Milk is a worse game name than Sticky Balls, but it's a job someone's got to do. Game Revolution went above beyond though, and listed the top 50 worst game names they could think of in order. The number 1 pick isn't enough to shock and astound you, but the journey there most likely will. Any favorites of yours that suck just a little more than the rest?

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