EOA Features |
 A Cruise to Unite Wealthy Men with Beautiful Women - 2006/17/11 |
 Hello there Eye on Adult readers – it is Mistress Serena here again, back to share with you my opinions on the various things that strike my fancy. So here is what is on my mind today . . . I recently read this interesting article about a cruise that is supposed to allow rich eligible men to meet hot women. Apparently, the purpose is to give these gentlemen the opportunity to make the acquaintance of beautiful women outside of the boardroom. Ah, now isn’t that romantic? Anyway, snide comments aside, the article got me to thinking about how I would feel about taking part in something like that. Eventually my thoughts led me to the conclusion that no matter how gorgeous or rich I was I just don’t think that this would be a good idea in the long run - at least not for me personally at any rate. Maybe my opinion on this is stemming from the fact that I am a disgruntled cynic when it comes to romance, but I just don’t know if I would want to date somebody who was perhaps only interested in me for my money or my good looks. I mean honestly, folks . . . To begin with, I would be worried that my newfound companion might decide to upgrade to either a richer man or a better looking woman. I mean I would be afraid that if someone based their initial interest in me on either my pretty face or my bank account that this person might just be a little on the shallow side and probably wouldn’t lose any sleep over kicking me to the curb should a person that he or she felt was a better option come along. |
| Spederline Sex Tape: Enough Already! - 2006/14/11 |
Ok, so according to the internet, the source of all things truthful, trustworthy, accurate and factual, Kevin Federline is saying he has a sextape from his honeymoon with Britney Spears and that he will unleash it onto the unsuspecting population of the world if his demands are not met. This article tells it all, folks. You heard it here. My thoughts on this are scattered and a bit vehement in nature. I will warn you of that. First of all, I’m damn sick of reading about Britney Spears. Yes, she used to be hot. Yes, she married a loser. Yes, she got fat and ugly. End of story. The will she or won’t she make a comeback question has annoyed me for quite some time. She was HAPPY being white trash, she said so on national television from the comfort of her own home and to the discomfort of poor Matt Lauer. But the masses continue to wait with bated breath to see if she will return to her former greatness. People en masse have been waiting two years to see if she would drop K-Fed, to see if she would lose weight, to see if she would go back to the recording studio… waiting and waiting for the return of a mega star who was always mediocre at best. Had she not dressed up as a slutty schoolgirl for her video all those years ago, nobody would’ve cared. Does anyone remember the cover for her first album? All bubblegum and Disneyland? I remember it. It wasn’t hot. She turned herself into a slut for the love of money. After the slutty schoolgirl came dancing in a flesh-colored outfit with a snake, kissing Madonna on television, and dressing in black leather to remake a song she had no business even touching. Britney Spears singing “I Love Rock n Roll”? Are you kidding me? Pop princess has no idea WHAT rock n roll even is. They ran her voice through the computer so many times she could’ve been cast as Twiki in a Buck Rogers remake. She was all bod and no talent. Something which would fit right in in our little business, I should think. |
| Mistress Serena's Porn Ponderings - 2006/13/11 |
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| On My Way to London via Amsterdam- International Incident Imminent - 2006/10/11 |
 As of Sunday afternoon, I’ll be jetting my ass back to Europe. This time, I’ll be heading over for little rest and relaxation in Amsterdam before hopping over the North Sea to London where I’ll attend Erotica UK and the UK Adult Film Awards. The good part about this trip is that it’s not really a porno heavy trip. See, Erotica UK is more of a lifestyles consumer show that concentrates more on toys, lingerie, and other such naughty novelties. In other words, I’ll only have to do a little business. The rest of the time will be spent in pubs doing what I do best- getting drunk and making a spectacle of myself. I am, however, slated to make an onstage appearance at the UK Adult Film Awards to present an award. I’m not so sure what I’ll be presenting yet, and I don’t suppose it really matters. But I do have a little something planned for all of those Brits. If they think they’re gonna get off the hook on my watch, they have another thing comin’! I really do love pickin’ on those guys. I’m not really sure what it is. Maybe it’s because... |
| Yesterday’s Election and the Porn Biz - 2006/8/11 |
 In light of what can only be viewed as a pretty outstanding victory for our industry in yesterday’s mid-term elections, I feel it absolutely necessary to make something of a public service announcement. Basically, I just want to let you guys know that this election result is not a license to start acting like a bunch of fuckin’ idiots, okay? If there weren’t precedence for such a thing, I wouldn’t even have brought this up. But I know it happens. Every time someone wins a court case or an election goes well, there’s at least one person out there who decides it’d be a great idea to start creating, distributing, or otherwise broadcasting the most vile, disgusting, or violent stuff they can. This election isn’t a big fat magic wand that suddenly changes the fact that the executive branch of our government, including the Department of Justice, is still in power and can fuck with you any time they want. While generally more accepting of our business, the Democrats have no reason to start crusading on your behalf and pulling some of you fuckers out of the holes you’ve dug for yourselves. You know who you are. All I ask is... |
| If You Voted Today… - 2006/7/11 |
 …and you work in the porn industry, please send me a message from my Contact Page. I’d like to recognize the people in this industry who actually give a shit. Also, if I get any help from any of the other news sites out there in this endeavor, I’ll be sure and give you a plug. The system isn’t perfect, people, and it never will be. But the basis of the system runs on participation. So vote, damnit!  |
| In Case You Didn’t Know… - 2006/7/11 |
 One of the things I do daily is wade through a ton of Yahoo! News E-mail alerts. Basically, I set keywords up in Yahoo! News so that anytime the word porn, pornography, etc. pops up in an article, I get a link to that article sent to me. Obviously, the biggest part of what I receive are articles about child porn busts and related items. To tell the truth, it’s pretty disturbing. The sheer amount of articles I get on this subject is evidence enough that we have a serious problem in this country. However, that’s not what I’m here to write about today. Instead, I’d like to make mention of the sheer irresponsibility on the part of the mainstream press in the way they report these instances of arrests, convictions, and other such scandals regarding the trafficking of child pornography. All too often, when I’m reading down the list of headlines, I see headlines like the following: Activist sentenced in porn case – Asheville Citizen-Times Cops set porn trap – Toronto Sun Former Child Mentor Charged With Making Porn – CBS 4 Denver St. Mary porn sentencing – KATC 3 Lafayette Doc gets 10 years for coercion, porn – Billings Gazette Father of slain North Port girl pleads not guilty to porn charges – Herald Tribune – Sarasota, FL Notice any consistencies? Well, in case you haven’t, I’ll... |
| PornoTube Gold: Fuckin’ Up Your Childhood - 2006/3/11 |
 When I was a kid, watching the end of E.T. at the theater and crying my eyes out, I didn’t know what a blowjob was. At this present moment, I almost wish I still didn’t know. Now I don’t want to give you the impression that I somehow think the E.T. character is somehow sacred or worthy of cultural adoration. Frankly, as an adult I think the damn thing is fuckin’ creepy. It’s like a prune and a turd procreated and it just happened to grow eyes and arms and stuff. So to put it frankly, with that visual in your head, is this a creature that you’d really want to watch in the midst of a sex act? Then of course, there’s the way they shot this fucking thing- from underneath. So you have this E.T. head with completely fixed, saucer sized eyes staring blankly down into the general direction of the camera lens. It’s just fucked up. Now imagine if you had to be the poor broad blowing this guy? I mean how do you not feel completely weirded out by this? Well, I guess a few hundred bucks and a bump can make anything sound reasonable. You know what to do. Click the link or the photo to watch this crime against humanity and all terrestrial beings throughout the universe. |
| A Chat with Peter Reynolds Part 2… Well, Not Really - 2006/3/11 |
 See, folks, I’m a sell out. I’m a whore. I’m no different than any of those girls out in The Valley getting their holes stuffed in exchange for greenbacks. We’re all whores in one way or another. The only difference between one whore and another is the price. What’s my price, you ask? A whole buncha snack food. That’s it. See, I have a friend of mine (who will remain anonymous) who claims to have been given the short end of the stick by Mr. Peter Reynolds. It may or may not be true. I don’t know and frankly I don’t give a shit and a half. What I do give a shit about is the fact that I’ve been bribed a big ol’ horkin’ box of localized snack foods and sweet treats that will help to finally push my cholesterol levels into the red. For the record, this is not a joke. I’m seriously not going to run the second part of the Peter Reynolds interview in exchange for a pile of junk food from an anonymous donor. I do have my reasons for accepting this deal. In case the point ends up getting lost, I’m just gonna go ahead and explain it to you. There are a lot of dense folks in this world, and Porn Valley, USA, is no different on that front. Is the average skull thicker in The Valley than the rest of the world? Well, I’ll just let you make up your own mind. First and foremost, this is partly a jab at all of the rumors of corruption at AVN, especially surrounding the... |
| Scott McGowan on KSEX Radio Tonight! - 2006/2/11 |
 I just got the call from Tony Batman from KSEX Radio and you can catch me live on the air during the 8pm (PST) hour of the "I Don't Think So, Buddy" Show with the Batman himself and Monica Mayhem.We’re slated to chat about Venus Berlin, which was an amazing fucking show. For you Americans who haven’t had a chance to attend this show, be sure to listen and get the scoop on what I think is truly the best of the high profile adult industry shows on planet Earth. Of course, we’ll probably talk about titties and stuff as well. Don’t miss it, or else I’ll have to send out my flying monkeys to take a chunk out of your ass. Seriously, I’ll fuckin’ do it, man. |
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