EOA Features 

 EOA’s Babe of the Week You’ll Never Get to Fuck: Amy Ried - 2007/10/8

Amy Reid big boobs porn sex blonde Amy Ried (nude image gallery) is our choice for this week’s gorgeous, unattainable fuck doll. Amy has been steadily making a name for herself over the past few years, working for some of the biggest companies in the adult business. She has even won several awards which just goes to show you how popular this beautiful girl has become..

Amy is a hot brunette with a young, tight body. Her most recognizable feature is her set of perfectly firm 30DD breasts. Ried has a Cajun and German heritage, which is probably where she gets her natural good looks. She was born in Frankfurt, Germany, and was moved to L.A. when she was younger. She got into the adult industry in 2005 at age 20 and started by just doing adult modeling and quickly moved into making videos.

Amy’s first scene was for MattsModels.com. She looked very uncomfortable and nervous, but she still had that rockin' body. After that, she caught the eye of some pretty well known companies such as New Sensations, Third Degree Films, Jules Jordan, Zero Tolerance, Hustler, and more. Soon, her stunning face and big hooters started popping up on movie boxcovers everywhere, and everyone wanted a piece of this dirty girl.

Amy has also proven her success this year by winning 3 different awards. She won ‘Favorite Female Rookie” at the F.A.M.E. Awards, and AVN Awards ‘Best Anal Sex Scene’ for her role in Breakin’ Em In 9 and ‘Best Tease Performance’ for her role in “My Plaything: Amy Ried. This is an amazing accomplishment and just adds to her appeal.

Amy Ried is known for putting in some of the best...

 CNN.com: Monster Black Cocks Invade San Fernando Valley - 2007/9/8

Here’s hoping all of you guys out there in Porn Valley are okay! When I first saw this, I wondered why I hadn’t read it anywhere else on the porn blogosphere. However, I quickly realized that all of your buildings and homes are most likely crushed, all communications networks are dead, and many of you are possibly dead.

For those of you how may be trapped under rubble with your T-Mobile Sidekick viewing my page, just remember that you can drink your own pee to prevent dehydration.

You can have a look at the CNN.com front-page blurb about the monster black cock invasion by clicking this link or the photo to the left.

 PornoTube Gold: Monster Attack! - 2007/7/8

One of the great things about porn is that it kind of gives you a license to be really fuckin’ silly. Unfortunately, not everyone gets that and often times porn is just taken way too goddamned seriously. It’s pretty evident in most of the stuff you’ll find out there. In fact, with the exception of some reality content and a handful of particularly well put together features, blooper reels, and adult animation, one rarely finds anything that is both entertaining to watch and worth stroking off to at the same time.

I’m not sure if the guys over at Freaks of Porn have mastered the art of combining hot sex with wacky scenarios or not (I haven’t seen a lot of their actual hardcore sex content), but I can tell you that their shit is funny as hell. So far, just by clicking around their trailers on PornoTube I’ve seen some of the weirdest, goofball shit I’ve ever seen in porn. Most of it centers around some sort of horror monster theme with girls being chased around and eventually fucked by various creatures such as Skullman, some guy dressed remarkably similar to that guy from Scream, Frankenstein, and one thing that looked like a cross between a werewolf and a that one giant Muppet dude. I forget his name.

Either way, the clip that I chose for today’s PornoTube Gold uses the old Benny Hill formula of comedy. Of course, this includes...

 Porn Niche Grab Bag: Glamour - 2007/6/8

While this genre is pretty easily explained, the Glamour genre is really as well known as you might think. Of course, Glamour is more or less identified by high-end camera work, complicated lighting schemes, perfect if not somewhat exaggerated make-up and hair, elaborate wardrobe, and many times, a flair towards the artistic.

When I think of Glamour in the porn biz, I immediately start thinking about some of the biggest names in the business. In particular, I think about the company that is probably the most famous name in all of adult entertainment the world over, Playboy. Playboy’s video series are prime examples of the softer side of glam. These are usually what some of us call T & A videos where essentially you just models showing off for the camera, pure and simple. They also have some softcore feature movies, but Playboy is far better known for it’s video calendars and the like.

Then you move on to some harder stuff. Michael Ninn comes to mind, who heads up one of the single most famous adult studios in the United States and Europe, Ninn Worx. When it comes to over the top aesthetic, no one trumps the photographic decadence of Michael Ninn. Of course, it doesn’t hurt matters that he’s consistently had some of the most beautiful women in the world before his cameras. But Ninn isn’t afraid to get dirty in his films! Oh, no! Instead, you can often times find some very hardcore...

 EOA’s Babe of the Week You’ll Never Get to Fuck: Aurora Snow - 2007/3/8

aurora snow porn Aurora Snow (free nude gallery) is a beautiful, young, sexy porn star whose success has now even bled over into mainstream. Aurora has been around making movies ever since I can remember. Hell, she was even “Kelly the Coed” for a while. So when this gorgeous fuck doll agreed to an interview with the King, I was more than a little excited.

Aurora got in to the business, like many young women, as a means to pay for college.

“I had just made it through my first year at the University of California, Irvine and the expense of an education was really beginning to hit home. I tore through the classifieds in the Orange County paper. An ad claiming to pay “up to $2,000 a day” for nude modeling caught my eye. It appeared the perfect way to allow enough time for my studies while actually meeting the demands of college tuition. I replied to the ad and shortly thereafter began my career in the adult business.”

She still tries to maintain a few classes a semester when she can work them in to her busy schedule.

“I feel as if I am the perpetual student. School is a project of sorts. Work is my first priority, and school is a close second. Priority [is] given to what has now become my career, as there is a certain shelf life to it being an industry based on youth; whereas school can be done at any age. Maintaining a school schedule is rather difficult when traveling as often as I have been. I take various classes from semester to semester, based on which classes are available within my work schedule. With that said I have yet to be a college graduate, however I am a little over halfway through and now aspire to continue on to a law degree (with an entertainment/business focus).”

Now, back to the porn…

 Jenna Jameson: A Star to What End? - 2007/2/8

 Jenna Jameson (Free Nude Gallery) has become synonymous with porn. She is, in all senses of the word, a star and readers of my column will know that I don’t throw that word around all that much. It’s always been my opinion that the term star is used far too often to describe women (and men, especially one in particular who thinks he’s both a porn star and a rock star) in this business that simply wouldn’t be recognized by the average person on the street. No, I’m afraid only fans of porn know who most of these people are. Like it or not, Jenna has transcended from porn star to true blue celebrity.

Let’s face it, when you see someone used in one of those ‘Who is this sexy blonde’ ads on MySpace, you’re a goddamned celebrity.

While Jenna may be a bona fide star, I’m not so sure that that we really understand why. With that, I mean that the public perception of Jenna being a determined and hard-nosed business woman taking the porn industry by storm on her own terms is, in my opinion, categorically false. Jenna is (was) indeed an extraordinarily beautiful woman with a talent for enchanting an audience, especially through the camera’s eye. Furthermore, she is a phenomenal sex performer. She fucks like a woman and fucks like she means it. Jenna, for all intents and purposes, is genetically perfect for porn. Okay so she got breast implants and some other cosmetic surgery. Who hasn’t these days?

But as I said, the image that’s been fed to us that paints Jenna to be a strong, independent business woman with guts of steel and a razor sharp mind seems...

 Porn: The Biggest Little Business in the World - 2007/2/8

As I was out smoking a cigarette earlier, getting a sunburn and hating the world (as usual), I started thinking about how small of a scene we really are, in the end, when you compare it to the sheer amount of money this industry makes. It’s kind of fascinating really. The most recognizable companies in the United States (if not the world) like Vivid, Wicked, and Digital Playground only employ a handful of folks each as I’ve been left to understand it. Of course, the do have to employ contractors (independent or otherwise) such as directors, stars, crews, etc. to create their products, but generally what we’re talking about here is the cost of production. This kind of thing is pretty common from most of my observations.

Most small businesses never clear the sheer kind of loot these guys do. I mean, hell, when you think of a local hardware store or restaurant, they often employ just as many people as a large porn company. You think they haul in what porn companies do? Of course not.

The result of this syndrome has been an incestuous one. First, because of the nature of our industry, such that it is, it’s often times hard to find experienced people. Up until recently, many of our companies were family businesses at their core and sometimes passed down through the family. In other cases, close friends were hired seeing as these folks were more likely...

 PornoTube Gold: Injured. Injured Bad - 2007/31/7

Of all the viral videos and animations in the world, this is easily my favorite of all time. Not even the Badger Song or The Insanity Test can beat this one.

Of course, this commercial takes a classic page out of the Madison Avenue handbook of marketing tactics. When in doubt, get a cute kid to say something funny. It works every time. In the case of this commercial for Trigon BlueCross BlueShield Insurance, they’ve created the ultimate “cute kid saying something funny” spot.

In terms of viral video goes, this is one of the single most successful commercials ever. This is one that I always see popping up at least once every couple of months on some video site. I don’t know how many times it’s been sent to me, how many times I’ve forwarded it, or how many times I’ve just stumbled across it. All I know is it never ceases to make me laugh out loud (LOLZ) and make sure someone who hasn’t seen it gets the pleasure of doing so.

Now normally, I wait until the end to link over to the video, but in the interest of not giving away anything, Click this Link To View the Video!

You watched it, right? Are you finished laughing your head off?

This is probably the most...

 Porn Niche Grab Bag: Gonzo - 2007/30/7

Sophia Hardcore Gonzo PornIf you’ve been watching porn for a long time, you already know what gonzo porn is all about. However, for the newbie who’s only watched what he or she was able to scavenge from Dad’s underpants drawer as a teenager, you may have no clue. Then you take into account that Dad probably scavenged it from some old pervert at work or something, and I’m sure you’ve never heard the term gonzo in relation to porn.

First off, gonzo porn has nothing to do with the Muppet Show unless you want to say that some gonzo porn looks like it’s been shot by Gonzo the Muppet. Furthermore, it only marginally has something to do with Gonzo Journalism, which was made famous by Hunter S. Thompson. Thompson’s craft with the almighty typewriter did, as I understand it, serve as an inspiration for the genre, but that’s about as far as it goes.

Gonzo Porn, as it were, is pretty simple to understand. Essentially, it works kind of like reality television, only it’s porn. See, in reality television, there isn’t really an invisible 4th wall. In other words, the cameras are right there in the thick of the action, (think COPS) and sometimes, even a character in and of itself in the midst of the action. It’s the same with porn. Instead of the camera acting as a fourth wall, the camera, and often the person operating it, are a part of the sex scene, often interacting with the performers verbally and/or physically. Sometimes the interaction is as simple as the hand held camera getting extreme close ups of the talent’s face and the talent actually speaking to the camera. Sometimes the camera operator directs the performers directly by saying things like, “Turn around and show me your big ass,” or “You ready to get fucked in the ass, baby?” Other times, when taking the form of Point of View (POV) scenes, the camera operator will engage in sex with the performer(s), therefore making the view of the sex similar to what it would be for the viewer if he were the one doing the fucking him or herself!

By most accounts, gonzo was first created by Evil Angel head-honcho John Stagliano in his Buttman series of movies. Stagliano’s gonzo endeavors lent themselves more towards...

 EOA’s Babe of the Week You’ll Never Get to Fuck: Hailey Young - 2007/27/7

Hailey Young dvsx porn floridainHailey Young(free nude galley) is a beautiful, young, tight bodied, sex angel. The 23 year-old has starred in films with some for the most influential companies in the adult business such as Platinum X, Anarchy Films, and Red Light District. Her work is very hard-core and rough.

Hailey is from Del Rey Beach, Florida and actually got into the business working for an adult company doing administrative duties and some talent scouting. She saw all the other girls making more money and not having to do half the work so she decided she wanted to make movies too.

Hailey is very sexual and likes girls and guys. While she is a master of boy/girl, solo, foot fetish, panty fetish, sperm swapping, and throat gagging videos, she refrained from doing girl/girl scenes until she had a chance to experience it in her real life. On her 21st birthday she got her chance and has also been doing girl/girl ever since.

She recently sent out a press release stating that she is now starting to do anal as well. Hailey has impressed me just with the amount of control that she has compared to most girls in the biz. Other women jump right in to anal, and she took her time doing...

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