Guide To The Guide
Thepast 10 years have been pretty busy for you. You went through puberty,learned to drive, even had your first beer. You did not lose yourvirginity, but you did get into Harvard, which was pretty sweet.Which brings us to our first piece of advice: drop the H-Bomb like it’syour job, and eventually you’ll get laid. Or just post an ad oncraigslist.
Expository Writing
The First and Last Time You'll Start a Paper More Than a Day Before It's Due
The College’sonly universally required class, Expository Writing, promisesto teachyou to craft lucid, beautiful prose, to state your ideas with complexityand nuance, and to call your teacher a “preceptor.” It will succeed inat least one of these.
Freshman Seminars
The First and Last Time a Professor Will Know Your Name
Apparently,someonefigured out that sitting through a 700-person Ec 10 lecturedidn’t cutit for personal attention, so this year’s course cataloguedevotes 26pages to 130 frosh-only classes, including 56 brand newones. Considereda must-have by many eager first-years, the mostpopular of theseseminars, such as Professor David H. Hubel’s “TheNeurophysiology ofVisual Perception,” can draw over 100 applicationsfor one of theircoveted spots. But fear not, young Skywalker. Most ofthe others don’tsolicit enough interest to fill their 12-person caps,and with coursesranging from “Beethoven’s String Quartets” to “ACultural History of theBanana,” you’ll have no problem finding theperfect class to make allyour academic dreams come true.
Essential Study Guide Rules
Beforeyouknow it, Camp Harvard will be a distant memory and exam time willbeupon us. For the unseasoned student, this means going throughyour syllabi, figuring out which books you need to read, and releasingthem from the plastic wrap that has been covering them since September.
Understanding the Bureau of Study Counsel
Locatedina gray house down Linden Street, the Bureau of Study Council(BSC)straddles two purposes: to help students adjust to college workand tocounsel students adjusting to college life. Given its dualmission,programs through the BSC can seem like a combination ofPositive Psychsection and a “How to Live Your Best Life” Oprah segment.But forstudents looking for understanding adults and a mix ofundergraduatesand grad students to talk to, the BSC can feel homey.
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Biology
Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here
Ah, biology:Concentration of enormous lectures, cursory “sign and go”advising,bell-curve grading (if you don’t know the meaning of a“sigma,” you willsoon), nail-biting pre-meds. If you’re a prospective concentrator, don’tanticipate community; certainly don’t envision yourself using that beachvolleyball court in front of the Bio Labs to play a carefree game withfellow concentrators and a few professors. The vaguely menacingrhinoceroses at the doors of the Bio Labs have a better chance of flying.In other words, if you don’t really, really love bio (we’re talking toyou, Mr. “I kind of want to be a doctor”), look elsewhere.
Economics
Student as Marginal Being
Jocks freshoff the field and future academics wandering Littauer’s marble halls.Suit-clad undergrads juggling multiple e-recruiting events and financialgurus creating their hedge fund from their dorm rooms. Mock triallawyers trying to find the straightest path to Harvard Law School.
Prepare to fight our president in his ongoing War on the English Language.
English Literature and Language
Your Professors Wouldn't Last a Minute in the Real World
So,you’ve gotten to Harvard and realized that you have absolutely no ideawhat you want to get out of your classes here. If you enjoy sleepdeprivation, caffeine highs (and their debilitating crashes), andsocial theory that will make you feel like a bastard no matter whoseside you take, consider Social Studies. If you’d prefer very few finalexams, a shout-out in The Independent as the second-sexiestconcentration in the College, and an opportunity to write a book offairy tales as your senior thesis, English and American Literature andLanguage just may be the option for you.
Government
You Won't Get Lower Than a B
Soyou’vesuccumbed to temptation, neglected social studies and economics,anddeclared government as your concentration. Nice work. But while thepathto Washington is pretty wide open, there are still some stumblingblocksyou must face (aside from the linebackers you’ll soon becompeting within section).
Chemistry
Chemistry and Physics
East Asian Studies
Environmental Science and Public Policy
History
History and Literature
History and Science
History of Art & Architecture
Literature
Mathematics
Philosophy
Psychology
Religion
Social Studies
Sociology
Statistics
Women, Gender, and Sexuality
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The Core
We Apologize In Advance
Thankstothe College’s Curricular Review, the Core Curriculum, that onerous setof requirements that has burdenered undergrads for a generation, willsoon, finally, be extinct. But that’s of little help to you, fellowundergraduate, for you will be the victim of The Core at its worst, as,in its dying throes, it falls into disrepair, left to waste asprofessors turn their attention instead to bolstering the forthcominggeneral education requirements.
Your "Hero of Irish Myth and Saga" course will help you understand the world in which we live today.
Lit and Arts C
Really, Really Esoteric Stuff You Won't Care About
Inthebest of worlds, Cores are classes to be enjoyed rather thanobstacles tobe overcome. Unfortunately, Lit & Arts C just happensto be damnnear the worst of worlds.
Science A
You Only Get One Free Trial of Enounce
Whyis the sky blue? How does time work? Are there invisible worlds? Areyou dying to impress kindergarteners? Then Science A is for you!
Social Analysis
Food, Money, Power (Sorry, No Sex)
Let’s break this down, shall we?
Foreign Cultures
Historical Studies A
Historical Studies B
Lit and Arts A
Lit and Arts B
Lit and Arts C
Moral Reasoning
Quantitative Reasoning
Science B
In Math, like the Harvard Lampoon, the operative word is “sausage fest.”
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