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How do I start Clowning? Clown Magic part 1

Welcome back to our ongoing how-to series—today, we’re going to begin discussing clown magic, how it is similar to ‘standard’ magic, and how it differs.

Let’s begin with getting some definitions out of the way. By ‘magic’, we’re discussing the sleight of hand and “sleight of mind” (pun not intended) popularized by David Copperfield, et. al. We are not discussing anything unholy, unwholesome, or that God would frown upon. That’s magick (or magyk, or...), and something we’re not going to touch with a ten-foot pole.

Another disclaimer: Mr. Copperfield (and all other performing magicians) aren’t doing anything ‘mystical’, etc.—they are doing things that we’re not expecting, and taking advantage of some presuppositions that our minds make. Here’s a short example. There’s a magical prop, called X-Salted. It’s a gimmicked salt shaker. The presentation is as follows: the magician comes on stage, and starts pouring salt out of the shaker. He stops, unscrews the top of the shaker, and dumps all of the salt out of the shaker. He screws the lid back on, and turns the shaker upside down. Salt continues to pour out of the top of the salt shaker—for minutes. Since we (as adults) ‘know’ that that salt shaker top can’t possibly hold that much salt, we’re astounded—it must be magic! The answer, of course, is that our perceptions have been fooled, and the salt shaker lid holds more salt that we think it would. Children aren’t fooled by this illusion, since they haven’t “learned” that rule about space.

In fact, that’s a good rule to remember about children and magic. Children haven’t learned many of the rules that adults take for granted, which magicians use to fool adults. This means that some wonderful magic tricks, including personal favorites, don’t work well for children. If that’s your audience (as it is for many of us clowns), keep that in mind.

One final point before we start getting into specifics. Some people, especially clown ministers, have problems with performing magic, either because they feel that it’s unBiblical, or that its’ simply dishonest—we’re effectively lying to the audience, aren’t we? To answer the first problem, the “magic” that we’re talking about here is not the “magic” of the old Testament (or Simon the sorcerer from the Book of Acts, for that matter). Even a casual reading of the Bible shows the “magician” of the text claiming supernatural powers, claiming to contact the dead, put curses on people, etc.—we’re not doing that. The second question has more merit, however. Are we being dishonest by performing sleight of hand?

There are two answers to this question. First, are we being dishonest when we claim a puppet can talk? Technically, yes. Is an actor playing the part of (Mark Twain, Moses, etc.) being dishonest? Technically, yes. Are we being dishonest when playing the part of a magician? In the same vein, technically yes. If you’re not bothered by the inherent “dishonesty” in performing a skit, using a puppet, etc. I wouldn’t lose any sleep over any “dishonesty” in doing a magic trick. But what about plain, bold-faced lies? Like “here’s an ordinary deck of cards” or “my hand is completely empty” or “nothing up my sleeve”? Then don’t tell lies; I don’t (or at least I try not to—God’s still working on me smile Besides which, saying “This is an ordinary deck of cards” simply draws attention to the cards, which probably isn’t what you want anyway. We’ll talk about this in detail in the next segment.

Next time, we’ll how clown magic differs from “magician” magic. See you then!

Bibliography for clown magic

Posted by Tom Raymond, aka Raynbow on 08/22 at 07:03 PM
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How do I start Clowning? Clown Magic part 2

Clown Tutorial - Clowning Tutorial - clown magic

Welcome back—today, we’re going to discuss clown magic, how it is similar to ‘standard’ magic, and how it differs.

Imagine, if you would, a clown (either whiteface, auguste, or tramp) walking on stage with a serious demeanor. He has a beautiful assistant walk on stage, pushing a small table. She climbs onto the table, and lies down, face up. The clown walks over, makes a few mystical passes, and covers her with a large cloth. He steps back, pauses, and gestures with his arms, pantomiming up—up-- up! Slowly, the covered figure rises several feet into the air. The clown confidently steps forward and whisks away the sheet, to reveal that the assistant has vanished!

Now, what’s wrong with this picture? Obviously, this is magic as it would be performed by a serious magician. There is nothing clownish, or even humorous, about this presentation. It’s clearly not a clown performing, but a magician in clown make up. Let’s look at it again, from a clown’s perspective.

The beginning is the same, with the clown walking seriously on stage. This time, he trips over his own cape, possibly having his top hat or turban fall off. Recovering, he walks over to the stage, and signals to his assistant. The assistant (possibly also a clown) ignores him. He claps for attention—she yawns, possibly turning the pages in the paper she’s reading. He walks over indignantly, only to be instantly cowed by the assistant’s glare. He begs her to come over. Exasperated, she comes, obviously to get some peace and quiet. She pushes the table over, bumping into the clown, possibly bowling him over. He rights himself, as she climbs on the table. He comes over to cover her with the sheet—the assistant has had enough! She stands up, pushes him onto the table, covers the clown magician with the cloth, and he rises and vanishes! As the assistant takes a bow, the clown’s head pops out of a garbage can that’s been innocuously on stage the entire time

Obviously, although doing the same amount of magic (probably more—there could be a short routine with the assistant’s newspaper, as well as the clown magician reappearing from the garbage can), the second is undoubtedly a clown routine. Why? What makes clown magic different from ‘magician’ magic?

From the example, there are several things. The magician is clearly in control of "forces beyond our understanding." The clown, on the other hand, has trouble understanding what a "force" is; the magician is in control of his magic, the clown is not. The magician appears to be performing the impossible; the clown is either obviously faking (revealed by his own ineptitude or that of his assistant).

Always remember, when performing clown magic, that you are supposed to be a clown first, and ‘magician’ second.

Next time, we’ll start with beginning some simple magic tricks, and see how to integrate that into your clowning. See you then!


Bibliography for clown magic

Posted by Tom Raymond, aka Raynbow on 08/22 at 06:08 PM
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How do I start Clowning? Clown Magic part 3

Clown Tutorial - Clown Magic - magic card magic - free magic trick

Welcome back—today, the rubber meets the road, and we introduce a free magic trick that you can introduce into your clowning. As always, you want to adapt these things to fit your character.

A very simple magic card trick is the concept of “free choice.” For example, the clown can pull out a deck of cards, and start dealing the cards into three piles. Now, the clown grandly announces, he will predict the future! He takes his prediction, and seals it in an envelope. Now, you are invited to pick a pile—you have a free choice. Having made your choice, the clown is magnanimous—you can change your choice, or stay with what you’ve chosen—it’s still your choice. The clown takes away the two unchosen piles, and shuffles them back into the deck. If this is a gospel presentation, the clown can talk about how God chose us before the foundation of the world, even though it doesn’t always seem that way. The clown opens his prediction to read that you would choose the 3 pile—he’s right!

How does this work? Quite easily. Unlike with God, this “free choice” isn’t truly free. The three piles of cards contain, respectively, 1) any three cards 2) the four cards containing the number 3 (3 of clubs, 3 of hearts, 3 of spades, 3 of diamonds), and of course 3) the third pile. Whatever choice the person makes, fits the answer.

Now, as described, this could work as a serious magic trick, or as comedy magic—how can we make it clownish? Probably in your reaction to your prediction actually being correct—“It worked? It worked! (happy dance) I can’t believe it worked! It really worked! (resuming your demeanor) I mean, of course it worked! I’m the world’s greatest clown magician, after all! (moving on...)”

Or, your prediction could be totally incorrect “My prediction is: a loaf of bread, a gallon of milk, and a dozen eggs!” (reaction, etc.) “Whoops, wrong side!” and flip it over to reveal the correct prediction. You can milk this idea as much as you wish, with each succeeding wrong prediction being more outrageous, and in a stranger place (inside your shoe, etc.) finally revealing the correct prediction—possibly pinned to your back, and revealed to the audience when you turn around—and “playing” with the audience when they seen the prediction, and you (of course) don’t.

Next time, we’ll see some more magic tricks, talk about some of the “don’ts”, and see how to integrate that into your clowning. See you then!

Bibliography for clown magic

Posted by Tom Raymond, aka Raynbow on 08/22 at 05:51 PM
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How do I start Clowning? Clown Magic part 4

Clown Tutorial - Clown Magic - do’s and don’ts of magic tricks

Welcome back! In this installment of Clown Magic, we’ll talk about some do’s and don’ts.

The most important don’t is the most basic: never divulge how a trick is done, except to another magician/clown. No exceptions. Ever. Don’t do it. Just say no. Get the idea? This is a very bad thing to do; you would be divulging someone else’s hard work, so that when an audience sees that trick, one or more of them will say (probably out loud, disrupting the performance) "I’ve seen that before! I know how that’s done!" or something equally witty. This is a lose-lose proposition all the way around. Magicians will stop doing that trick (for example, magicians rarely perform the ‘sword through the basket’ routine anymore, since it’s been exposed so many times), the audience member looks oafish, and the rest of the audience loses out as well.

The next most important don’t is to never repeat the same trick twice, for much the same reason as the previous trick. Imagine, if you would, doing ‘The 3 Pile’ trick a second time for the same audience. The method behind the magic would be revealed; the clown would look foolish (not in a way that he would like); the audience would feel let down—it wasn’t anything special, it was just a stupid little trick. So, how do you handle an audience member asking you to repeat the same trick?

You have several options; you can politely explain that you don’t repeat a trick, give a silly explanation as to why you can’t repeat it ("the batteries need to recharge", "the cards are sleeping now", "I can only do it once on a day ending in the letter ‘Y’", etc.), or my favorite, show them a (seemingly) related trick. ("Well, let me show you something very similar… pick a card, any card..." etc.)

As always, time wounds all heels (heels wound all the time? No, I mean "time heals all wounds" ), and practise makes permanent (No, that’s not a typo—if you practise something the wrong way over and over, you will reinforce a bad habit—don’t do it! ).

Bibliography for clown magic

Posted by Tom Raymond, aka Raynbow on 08/22 at 05:24 PM
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Hoi Polloi - the Three Stooges

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Hoi Polloi is available as part the the Three Stooges collection Nutty but Nice.

Funny movie quotes from Hoi Polloi starring the Three Stooges (1935)

Moe: [the Stooges reluctantly agree to be gentlemen] You know it’ll break the old man’s heart but you got the drop on us.
Larry: It’ll disgrace us for life.
Curly: I won’t be able to look at my children in the face.



Prof. Richmond: Can you spell cat?
Curly: Soitenly!
Prof. Richmond: Spell it!
Curly: Cat. K-I-T-T-Y, pussy.


Moe: [reading] “See the deer. Has the deer any doe?”
Curly: Yeah, two bucks!
Larry: Oh, see the cat. Does the mouse see that cat? Yeah, the dirty rat!


Dance Instructor: 1-2-3, dip.  Can you do it?
Curly: It ain’t the dippin’. It’s the countin’ that’s got me!


Moe: Now then gentlemen. Remember your etiquette. [Slaps Larry and Curly]
Larry: What’s that for?
Curly: We didn’t do nothin’!
Moe: That’s in case you do when I’m not around.


GirLarry: Your dancing is atrocious!
Larry: Thank you, I couldn’t dance a step last year.


Curly: Thanks for the dance ... and cut yourself a slice’a throat!


Prof. Richmond: Well here’s your check Professor Nichols, you certainly won the wager.
Prof. NicholShemp: Oh that’s very nice. Please forgive me Mrs. Richmond, annoying you with these rowdies.
Mrs. Rich: What do you mean rowdies? Spread out![Slaps him on the face]

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Posted by Tom Raymond, aka Raynbow on 08/19 at 09:32 PM
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Micro-Phonies - the Three Stooges

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Three Stooges-Opening Credits

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Micro-Phonies starring the Three Stooges - Moe Howard, Larry Fine, Curly Howard


The Three Stooges are working in a radio station where a pretty girl (Christine McIntyre’s debut with the Three Stooges) has just made a recording of “Voices of Spring” under an assumed name. She wants to hide her aspiring singing career from her disapproving society parents while auditioning for Mrs. Bixby’s “Krispy Krunchy” radio program. After a run-in with a pompous violinist, the boys find the record and Curly starts mimicking to it, dressed as a woman. Mrs. Bixby witnesses their performance and is impressed enough to hire “Senorita Cucaracha” (Curly) and Señor Mucho (Moe) and Señor Gusto (Larry) for her radio program. The boys show up in their disguises to “sing” at a Mrs. Bixby’s party but run into trouble when Moe smashes the record over Curly’s head. The real singer tries to help by singing from behind a curtain while Curly mimics, but she is discovered and the Stooges exit to a hail of phonograph records.

Micro-Phonies is available as part of the Three Stooges DVD collection Curly Classics.

Funny movie quotes from Micro-Phonies, starring the Three Stooges (Moe, Larry, Curly)

Curly: My! Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk! Ain’t she pretty!
Moe: You can say that again!
Curly: My! Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk! Ain’t she pretty!
Moe: (slaps Curly) Quiet, you imbecile!
Curly: You said I could!



Moe: I know accidents will happen, fellows.  Now take this wrench ...
Larry: I don’t want it! (Moe hits Larry and Moe with the wrench)


Moe: (sees a microphone) Oh, a micro-phoney! (Moe goes to the microphone)
Curly: And a phoney at the mike!


Moe: Use Gritto, radio friends, the soap that gives your hands that dishpan look. How will the old man know you’ve been working… if your hands -don’t- have that dishpan look, hmm?
[chuckles]
Moe: Put a box of Gritto in a glass of water, then listen to it fizz…
[Larry and Curly honk a large horn. Moe is irked]
Moe: Dopes. Remember, Gritto spelled sideways, is ‘ot-tri-gruh-guh-guhhh’.


Moe: Money?  Did you say money?
Curly: I remember the stuff ...


Moe: Quite a shack, this Bixby joint.
Larry: Yeah, reminds me of reform school.


Italian singer: Oh, cherries, huh?
[while smashing a handful of cherries in the party guest’s face]
Italian singer: See how you like them, tough guy! See how you like them!


Moe: (as the near-sighted Italian singer is staring at him without his glasses) Oh, short eyeballs, eh?


Moe: Quiet! You lost your voice.
Curly: (looking on the floor) Where?

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Posted by Tom Raymond, aka Raynbow on 08/19 at 09:06 PM
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Crash Goes the Hash -- the Three Stooges

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Three Stooges-Opening Credits
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Highlights of the short film include Moe with one arm in the ‘prince’s’ coat punching the villains, similar Shemp in Sing a Song of Six Pants.  Another hilarious moment is where Moe slaps Curly, Curly slaps Moe back, Moe slaps, Curly slaps, Moe slaps, Curly slaps, Moe and Larry look at each other and finally Moe slaps Larry!

Crash Goes the Hash is available on the Three Stooges DVD collection Stooges at Work.

Funny movie quotes from Crash Goes the Hash starring the Three Stooges (Moe, Larry, Curly)

Larry: I’ve been running all morning till the hem on my pants are frayed.
Moe: ‘Fraid of what?



Vernon Dent: I want to find out if he intends to press his suit. (i.e. if he intends to marry the heiress)
Curly: He ought to!  No man should get married in a wrinkled suit!


Bud Jamison: Such levity!  You remind me of the Three Stooges.
Curly: That’s an insult!


Moe: Canapes! Hor d’oevres!
Curly: Which do you want, a can of peas or derves?


Moe: They’re snacks on a cracker ... they give you an appetite like a horse!
Curly: Oh! Animal crackers!


Bud Jamison: Don’t handle the ice with your hands, you featherbrain!
Curly: You’re right, I think I’m getting chillblains.  Here, hold this! (put the ice cubes in Bud Jamison’s hands)


Parrot: Jeepers, creepers, what a night!


Larry: One of us is crazy, and it ain’t you!

Trivia for Crash Goes the Hash—starring the Three Stooges (Moe, Larry Curly)

  • Bud Jamison’s final Three Stooges short
  • During the filming of this short, Curly Howard suffered one of his first “small strokes”. This is evident in the opening outdoor sequence in which Curly’s face looks worn and his voice sounds scratchy. However, the reason why Curly appears more lively in the follow-up sequences is because the opening outdoor sequence was filmed last. All of the other sequences were filmed on sets, prior to his early stroke.

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Posted by Tom Raymond, aka Raynbow on 08/19 at 08:26 PM
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Out West -- the Three Stooges

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Out West is available as part of the DVD collection The Three Stooges—Merry Mavericks.

Funny movie quotes from Out West—starring the Three Stooges (Moe, Larry, Shemp) (1947)

Shemp: I ain’t gonna lose my leg, am I Doc? I’ve had it ever since I was a little kid!



Nell: These men are gonna help you!
The Arizona Kid: Are they?
Shemp: (to Moe) Are we?
Moe: (to Larry) Are we?
Larry: (to no one standing behind him) Are we?
Shemp: Yes!


Larry: (to Moe, as they’re mixing drinks) Hey! You put paint in there!
Moe: So I did.  (opens unmarked container, pours it in)
Larry: What’s that?
Moe: Paint thinner.


Moe: Why don’t you look where I’m going?


The Arizona Kid: Colonel, please don’t be late!
Colonel: Son, never in the history of motion pictures has the U.S. Cavalry ever been late.


Moe: The Stooges have landed and have the situation well in hand!

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Posted by Tom Raymond, aka Raynbow on 08/19 at 08:04 PM
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Half-Shot Shooters -- the Three Stooges

Funny movie quotes from Half-Shot Shooters—the Three Stooges (1936)

Army officer: Will you fight for this great Republic, and ...
Moe: Republican? Naw, I’m a Democrat.
Curly: Not me, I’m a pedestrian!



Capt. Burke: ...wouldn’t know a shell from a boat.
Larry: What’d he say?
Moe: He says you smell like a goat.
Larry: Oh, yeah? Same to you!


Curly: Oh, the first shell went in there. It goes round and a round, woah, woah and it goes out there.


Capt. Burke: Where were you born?
Curly: He says your pants are torn.
Moe: I ain’t got any on.
Larry: Not worn, corn! Corn!
Curly: Oh, I got two on both dogs!
Larry: Pipe down! You’re spoilin’ the whole war for me!


Curly: I seen my duty and I did it!
Moe: I seen *my* duty, and I’ll do it! (holds out fist) See this? (Curly slaps Moe’s fist, which rotates around and hits Curly on the head)

Trivia for Half-Shot Shooters—starring the Three Stooges (Moe, Larry, Curly)

  • Three stooges regular Vernon Dent‘s debut with the Three Stooges

Posted by Tom Raymond, aka Raynbow on 08/19 at 07:47 PM
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A Plumbing We Will Go -- the Three Stooges

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Three Stooges-Opening Credits
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A Plumbing We Will Go is available as part of the DVD collection The Three Stooges - Curly Classics.

Funny movie quotes from A Plumbing We Will Go—the Three Stooges

Curly: Say why don’t you call your stops?
Moe: This is far enough I guess.
Larry: Where are we?
Curly: What do you care as long as we’re not in jail.



The cook: This house has sure gone crazy!


Up to the basement!


Curly: A simple job for simple people!


Man in shower: I beg your pardon!
Curly: Why, why did you do?


Moe: his is all your fault, you!  Look what you did!  Get another piece of pipe!
Curly: I resent that!
Moe: (threateningly) What are you going to do about it?
Curly: I’m gonna get another piece of pipe.

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Posted by Tom Raymond, aka Raynbow on 08/19 at 07:02 PM
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Dizzy Doctors - the Three Stooges

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Three Stooges-Opening Credits
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Dizzy Doctors is available as part of the Three Stooges DVD collection, Dizzy Doctors.

Funny movie quotes from Dizzy Doctors—the Three Stooges

Curly: Hello Ma, hello Pa. It wasn’t much of a fight. I stood like that… but not for long!



Curly: Brighto! Brighto! It makes old bodies new! We’ll sell a million bottles, Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo!


Moe: [while “polishing” a man’s shoe with Brighto] Remember sir, Brighto! You’ll never forget it as long as you live!
[removes the rag to realize that the Brighto has eaten right through the man’s shoe]
Moe: And neither will I!


Larry: If you have a knicknack with with a nick in it, we’ll knock the nick outta the knicknack with Brighto!


Curly: Medicine! Oh! [drinks from the bottle] Ahh, I feel better already!
Moe: What was wrong with you?
Curly: Nuthin’!


Moe: Just as I thought!  Give him a ticket!
Larry: One way or round trip?
Moe: Make it a one-way round trip.


Curly: A guy wants to know what to do for inflammation.
Moe: Why ask us? Tell him to dial Inflammation!

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Posted by Tom Raymond, aka Raynbow on 08/19 at 06:54 PM
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Fuelin' Around -- the Three Stooges

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Fuelin’ Around—starring the Three Stooges—Moe, Larry, Shemp (1949)

Fuelin’ Around

Editorial review of Fuelin’ Around starring The Three Stooges courtesy of Amazon.com

“Fuelin’ Around” (1949, number 116) starts with Larry’s resemblance to Albert Einstein--or at least a scientist (Emil Sitka)--which leads to him, Moe, and Shemp being kidnapped to a European castle, where they must produce rocket fuel or be shot. When the real scientist and his lovely daughter (Christine McIntyre) are brought in, an escape is planned, and some clever use is made of the “rubber dummy” as Shemp is being pulled up through an escape hole in the floor by the baddies and down by Moe and Larry from below. There is also some villainy from regulars Vernon Dent and Philip Van Zandt and good bumbling from Jacques O’Mahoney.

Funny movie quotes from Fuelin’ Around—the Three Stooges (1949)

Larry: Say, did I give you carbolic acid? (I’d love to!)



Moe: (having Shemp help with measuring tape) How many feet you got?
Shemp: (counting his feet) Two!


Larry: What a joint!  It reminds me of reform school.


Moe: Top of the morning to you, Captain!
Shemp: And the rest of the day to myself!


Moe: (talking about Larry) You know, he’s the most intelligent imbecile I ever saw.
Shemp: How about me?
Moe: Oh, you’re much smarter.  You’re just an imbecile.

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Posted by Tom Raymond, aka Raynbow on 08/19 at 06:34 PM
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Pals and Gals -- the Three Stooges

Pals and Gals—starring the Three Stooges—Moe, Larry, Shemp (1954)

Pals and Gals is a remake of an earlier Three Stooges short film, Out West, with chase footage taken from Goofs and and Saddles.  The plot remains roughly the same as in Out West: The Three Stooges (Moe, Larry and Shemp) move out West for Shemp’s health—he has an enlarged vein in his leg.  A western villain, Doc Barker, who has stolen the Red Dog Saloon from the father of the beautiful Nell (played by Stooge regular Christine McIntyre), and is holding her sisters hostage until she agrees to marry the villain.

However, Doc Barker makes a mistake upon overhearing Shemp talking about his ‘huge vein’ thinking that Shemp is talking about a vein of gold.  Soon, the Three Stooges are trying to help the three beautiful sisters, disguising themselves as southern gentlemen, effecting a jailbreak, and culminating in a funny chase scene.  A highlight of the film is when the Stooges mix up drinks for the bad guys that Shemp is playing cards with, as is the ending chase.  Despite it being a remake, it’s actually a funny Three Stooges short film.

Funny movie quotes from Pals and Gals—the Three Stooges (1954)

Zell and Belle: Nell!
Nell: Zell!  Belle!
Shemp and Larry: Well, Well!



Moe: Well why don’t you look where I’m going?


Cowboy: (toasting) A short life and a merry one!
Shemp: Yeah, very short!


[a chimpanzee climbs on Shemp’s head]
Shemp: A gorilla!  What is this, Africa?

Posted by Tom Raymond, aka Raynbow on 08/19 at 06:16 PM
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Ants in the Pantry - the Three Stooges

Ants in the Pantry starring the Three Stooges—Moe, Larry, Curly

In Ants in the Pantry the Three Stooges (Moe Howard, Larry Fine, Curly Howard) are pest exterminators, and business is very bad.  So bad, in fact, that their boss threatens to fire them unless they drum up some business.  The Stooges do so by planting mice, moths, bugs and other vermins in a fancy house, and then show up as exterminators to eliminate the pests.  The woman of the house hires them, but has them dress up in fox hunting clothes, so that they can blend in with the guests at the fancy party that she’s throwing.

Things go from bad (Curly dumping ants down the back of the lady’s dress) to worse (Curly throwing a bag full of cats into a piano, and Larry has to try to retrieve them—without drawing attention)!  The party is ruined, until a guest tells the hostess that the ‘entertainers’ that she hired were a huge hit!  The woman is so pleased that she invites them along on the foxhunt the next morning—and Curly even brings along the fox—or is that a skunk?

A very funny Three Stooges short, later remade with Shemp as Pest Man Wins.

Funny movie quotes for Ants in the Pantry—the Three Stooges

Curly: (hiding behind a wire frame garbage can) How’d he see us?
Moe: Must’ve been the garlic you ate last night.



Girl: (to Moe, unaware that her skirt has ripped off) Do you feel a draft?
Moe: Draft?
Girl: Yes.
Moe: No, I was exempted.


Curly: Thanks for the dance, or whatever you might call it?


Girl:  What’s the matter?
Curly: (being pulled out of his chair by Larry, sight unseen) Can’t you see that I’m falling for you?


Moe: (trying to wrap a chain around Curly’s waist as an impromptu belt) If you didn’t have TB, I could get this around you.
Curly: What do you mean, TB?
Moe: Two bellies.


(the Stooges as pest exterminators drumming up business & ruining a society dinner)
Moe: [to Larry, carrying bear trap]
Larry: You never know, we might run into a bear.
Moe: Yeah, like my bare hand! [slaps Larry]


Moe: What school to you go to?
Curly: Oxford!
Moe: You should go back to loafers! [stamps Curly’s foot]


Larry: Say, whatever happened in 1776?
Curly: What street?


Curly: What does he think I am, a rat?
Moe: [menacingly] Yeah!
Curly: Well, you didn’t have to tell everybody.

Posted by Tom Raymond, aka Raynbow on 08/19 at 05:38 PM
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Laurel & Hardy - Air Raid Wardens / Nothing but Trouble

Buy Laurel & Hardy - Air Raid Wardens / Nothing but Trouble from amazon.com

classic comedy teams double feature - Stan Laurel Oliver Hardy in Air Raid Wardens - with Edgar Kennedy - Stan Laurel Oliver Hardy in Nothing But Trouble
Laurel and Hardy made two films for the MGM studios in the 1940’s - Air Raid Wardens (1943) and Nothing But Trouble (1944).  Both films followed the MGM studio film formula at the time, which was not the best fit for the boys’ style of comedy.  Even so, both are enjoyable, and worth watching.

Air Raid Wardens (1943)

Air Raid Wardens was a huge box-office success in 1943, and with good reason.  In the midst of World War II, unsuccessful businessmen Stan and Ollie try to enlist in the Army, but are turned down.  Undeterred, Laurel and Hardy try to do their part as civilian air raid wardens.  They humorously attempt to put up posters, help with first aid, and get their neighbor (and long-time comic foil) Edgar Kennedy to put out his porch light—all unsuccessfully.  After failing miserably, at their lowest point, the boys succeed in breaking up a Nazi spy ring.  Many funny moments, with more self-pity than normal in a Laurel and Hardy movie, it’s worth watching—especially with friends.

Nothing But Trouble

Working as the world’s worst chef and equally inept butler, Stan and Ollie wreck a fancy dinner party and, in the process, accidentally foil a plot to poison a young king-in-exile.

Funny movie quotes from Nothing But Trouble

Mrs. Elvira Hawkley: The last man I had stayed for several years. He’ll tell you I was most accommodating. In fact, I still get letters from him. He’s on an island somewhere in the Pacific. I think they call it Alcatraz.



Mrs. Elvira Hawkley: I thought a little spot of this might refresh you before taking up your new duties. It’s Chateauneuf 1924.
Stan (Stan Laurel): Gee, that’s pretty old. Haven’t you got anything new?


Oliver (Oliver Hardy): Well, there’s nothing to it. All you have to do is look the lion straight in the eyes. Lions are afraid of that. I read that in a book.
Stan (Stan Laurel): But did the lion read the book?


Oliver (Oliver Hardy): Come Stanley, let no one say that we were afraid to die.
Stan (Stan Laurel): I don’t care who says it.


Oliver (Oliver Hardy): We just like to see kids have fun.

Funny movie quotes from Air Raid Wardens

Oliver (Oliver Hardy): [Inside thee open car trunk] This is a job for the detectives.
Stanley (Stan Laurel): Maybe we should turn ‘em over to the FHA.
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): Yeah. Shhh!
[They get out of the car trunk.]
Stanley (Stan Laurel): This must be the hide-in.
Oliver (Oliver Hardy): Hide-out! Come on.

Product Description for Laurel & Hardy - Air Raid Wardens / Nothing but Trouble

Whether serving their country in wartime or serving multicourse mealtime mayhem, Laurel and Hardy serve up laughs in this classic twofer. First, the nation calls out in its hour of need, Stan and Ollie answer...and Uncle Sam changes his mind. Rejected by the military, our heroes become Air Raid Wardens. Lights-out laughs include a donnybrook with slow-burn comic Edgar Kennedy and a run-in with a nest of spies. In Nothing but Trouble, the boys fuss and finagle as World War II-era domestics who rally ‘round an exiled boy king when danger arises. Sam Taylor, co-director of Harold Lloyd’s famed hanging-from-the-clock-high-above-city-traffic movie Safety Last!, guides this romp that includes a gem of a ledge-hanging sequence. Hold tight for fall-down funny fun.

Buy Laurel & Hardy - Air Raid Wardens / Nothing but Trouble from amazon.com
Posted by Tom Raymond, aka Raynbow on 08/17 at 07:34 PM
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