Indecision 2008

Recently, our enormous staff of interns pointed out that the most frequent commentors on this blog are supporters of Ron Paul, the libertarian who favors limited government, and Dennis Kucinich, the starry-eyed liberal optimist. To wit:

• Dr. Paul is a great person and I would be proud to have him as my president. He has a genuine soul and it and most who cannot deal with his honesty cannot handle it. At the risk of sounding too sappy, I would say that he makes allot of people proud that there is some true humanity in existence. And yes, I know he isn't Jesus and we all have our flaws. But the man has the stones to stick up for his convictions. Peace! (Forskin_Gump)
  
  
• The traditional Democratic base isn't stupid. They haven't been driven away from the polls because they are lazy or apathetic. They are painfully aware of the huge disconnect between Democratic Party rhetoric and the official behavior of many Democrats. They don't appreciate being lied to, and maybe they have grudging reasons to go to the polls just to vote against some Republican. Maybe they don't. The traditional Democratic base doesn't always turn up at the polls. They need more than transparent rhetoric. They require a real candidate who actually represents their interests. And they love Kucinich. (raiderpower)

So we decided to give you champions of Paul and Kucinich a forum for a real (virtual) debate, right here in our comments, on behalf of your candidates.

Here are two topics. Pick one and debate away in the comments below:

Topic 1: Ron Paul understands the Constitution better than Dennis Kucinich.

Topic 2: Dennis Kucinich understands the Constitution better than Ron Paul.

Ready? Go!

• Recently-found card stirs up horrible, blood-curdling mental images of Fred Thompson's love life.
  
  
• Blogger crawls from dark, hate-filled cave to make desperate swipe at folksy, avuncular non-candidate.
  
  
• Ron Paul to participate in New Hampshire debate on condition that he sweep up afterwards.
  
  
• Politician turns away prostitute in hilarious once-in-a-lifetime scenario.
  
  
• Oh, that Barack Obama... he says what we're all thinking.

• Clinton obsessed with Rove's obsession with Clinton.
  
  
• Does Mitt Romney offend nonagenarians with that gosh darned over-enlivened phraseology? Does it lead to same-sex milkshake sharing?
  
  
• Ron Paul wins prestigious Bunch of Guys in a Room Straw Poll.
  
  
• Fred Thompson vows to push country back thirty-five years.
  
  
• Barack Obama decides his chances increase the less he has a chance to talk.

It wouldn't be an election if there wasn't at least a little controversy, dissent and general sourgrape-ishness bandied about, and last week's Caption Challenge is no exception. We -- the proprietors of Indecision 2008 -- have found ourselves accused of being, among other things, lazy, moronic, humorless and pro-Paul. Well, we can assure you, we are definitely not pro-Paul.

However, it does appear that supporters of Texas congressman have shown up to the Caption Challenge in force to push a less-than-unflattering caption way the hell up to the front of the pack. Democracy in action! Ron Paul takes the day. And after his 9% showing at the Ames Straw Poll, it's not looking like he'll have too many more.


Submitted by ponyplayer19, winning a whopping 58% of the popular vote.

• Karl Rove to retire to his castle far atop Mount Doom.
  
  
• Mitt Romney proves to be marginally more popular than unpopular GOP candidates in majestic Straw Poll victory -- Ron Paul happy Iowans recognized him, didn't tow car.
  
  
• The media won't have Tommy Thompson to not kick around anymore -- Fred Thompson rushing in to fill dangerous "Thompson" deficit.
  
  
• John Edwards totally sucking up to the envirosexuals.
  
  
• Some conservatives pleased by dark twinkle in Hillary's eye.

We asked for captions. You threw us back a record amount. Now we're throwing them right back at you. You have until Monday to vote for your favorite caption.

• All of Democratic America trembles before the possibility of an Alan Keyes Presidential campaign.
  
  


• Newly-elected President of Young Republicans found giving unsolicited BJ, proves he's hard on gay issues.
  
  


• Democratic candidates argue: Is institutionalized bribery bad for Democracy?
  
  


• Ron Paul doesn't think you deserve that medal for Most Mochachinos Purchased This Month.
  
  


• Canada mobilizes for war against US following Obama calling their prime minister "president."
  
  


• There is no way to improve upon this headline.

In the boring old real world, Republican maverick candidate Ron Paul is polling at around 2%, and he has a hard time getting into debates as an audience member, let alone as a serious candidate. However, in the magical land of the Internet, not only is Ron Paul a viable candidate, but he's already been nominated by his party, won the election and is living in the White House with a beautiful half-lioness bride.

So, what accounts for the disconnect between these two planes of existence? Perhaps the answer can be found in the captions to the photo below...



Leave your caption in the comments section of this post. Feel free to enter as many times as you like.

• Giuliani stirs up Cold War fears in attempt to woo voters twenty-five years ago.
  
  
• McCain travels to Ohio on quest for the mythical Fountain of Relevancy.
  
  
• Ron Paul supporter wows potential voters with her incredible walking skills.
  
  
• Obama tells Pakistan that the Taliban was totally calling its mom an unholy sow.
  
  
• Dick Cheney admits he was wrong about Iraq, doesn't care, f**k you.

• Ron Paul suggests turning bin Laden task over to Dog, Boba Fett.
  
  
• Arlen Specter: White House has until 2 pm to explain Gonzales's testimony, or else... he'll just have to wait longer.
  
  
• Better look for scalpers outside Oprah's $2,300-per-person Obama fundraiser.
  
  
• Bill Clinton reminds everyone that we're all friends here, offers to go get the bundt cake.
  
  
• Giuliani to unveil his "Remember 9/11" health care plan.
  
  
• McCain's voicebox travels to Pittsburgh.