After the housemates' performance in their very own Aussie soap opera 'Housemates', the Royal Shakespeare Company will be able to rest easy.

"Oh Kyleen, you're my runner bean," sighed Goldfish (Liam) as he recited a poem to his love in rehearsals, before adding with a flourish: "Right, that's the feeling and the sentiment done, yeah?"

But Liam was obviously concerned about getting into character and wasn't sure about declaring his love for Kyleen, so soon after a pet death in the family. "That's like getting together after a dog's just died and that's a bit shady," he explained.

Keen to get the practice out the way, Nicky attempted a short cut. "While everyone is out there crying over the dog, I can still be in the House and that'll be the end of it," she said decisively.

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At which point Dingo the dog (Charley) made a suggestion about the production values.

"You don't speak - you're a dog," shouted Ziggy with a snigger.

And while Nicky and Carole tussled over control of the director's chair, Big Brother informed housemates the production was about to commence.

So, just after 10:30, the soap began with Greta (Tracey) telling Brandon (Ziggy) that he was late for work at the café.

And his response? "Rack off!"

It would be fair to say there are a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock...