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Q. My fiance is no help at all when it comes to planning our wedding. When do I need to include him and when should I draw the line? I don't want to burn him out on everything before our big day, but no one else will lend a hand.

A. It can be frustrating when your fiance isn't as interested in and excited about planning the wedding as you are -- you may be feeling disappointed, because as you say, it's your wedding, with "your" in the plural!

You don't mention how he's being unhelpful -- does he just not care what color the flowers are, or what kind of food you serve? He may just truly feel that his work is done (he asked you to marry him!) and now all he needs to do is just show up. Let him know that you'd really like more from him than that. If he knows that it's hurting your feelings that he's pretty uninterested in the planning, he may be willing to at least humor you. Tell him you're feeling alone, because there's no one else to help you, and it's really something you'd like to share with him.

Is there any wedding-planning task you think he would enjoy? Does he love music, and so might be interested in finding a great band? Or choosing the microbrews for the reception? You may or may not feel comfortable with giving him total responsibility for these things if he really seems uninterested, but try to convince him that you two can do them together. You shouldn't feel alone during your wedding planning, and he probably doesn't mean to make you feel that way, either -- so talk to him about it!

Carley Roney is co-founder and editor in chief of The Knot (www.theknot.com), the nation's leading online wedding resource.

 © 2007 The Knot Inc. All rights reserved.

-- By Carley Roney of TheKnot.com