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Albums of the Year

2006 wasn't just a rough year for Philadelphia sports fans (aren't they all though, really?).

Some of my Decibel colleagues, who follow teams from such exotic locations as Dallas, Seattle, and New York, were also tortured and teased in manner that was, well, downright Philadelphian. But even if we still can't all agree on which petulant, overpaid athletes to invest our pathetic hopes and dreams in, at least we all see eye to eye on the soundtrack to our commiseration. Unlike Decibel's two previous Albums of the Year lists, this year's champion dominated like Bush in a predominantly black Florida county-minus all the rampant ballot tampering, of course. But before you flip the page to view the final results and begin your "How the fuck didn't _____ make the list?" letters, here are 20 more important postseason awards below that Decibel was compelled to bestow.

False Metal Album of the Year: Danava, Danava

Tr00 Metal Album of the Year: Iron Maiden, A Matter of Life and Death

Five-Tool Prospect of the Year: Baroness

Lifetime Achievement Award: Enslaved

Isis Rip-Off Band of the Year: Tool

Most Unexpected "Hipster Metal" Article Fallout of Year: NPR interviews

Most Garish Extreme Artist MySpace Profile of the Year: Trey Azagthoth

Comeback of the Year Award: Celtic Frost

Don't Come Back Next Year Award: Rob Zombie

"Four Letters Say It All" Song Title of the Year: "Gunt," Made Out of Babies

Pelican Memorial "No, Seriously, Stop Talking" Award: Peter Dolving, the Haunted

Unapologetic Pantera Worship of the Year: Lamb of God, "Redneck"

Reissue of the Year: (tie) Only Living Witness, Prone Mortal Form/Innocents and Beherit, The Oath of Black Blood

"OK, That Happened" Album of the Year: Jeff Walker und Die Fluffers, Welcome to Carcass Cuntry

Pointless Covers Album of the Year: (tie) The Dillinger Escape Plan, Plagiarism and Between the Buried and Me, The Anatomy of

Projected Most Pointless Release of 2007: Isis, Panopticon Remixes 4CD-boxset

Most Unwelcome Yet Predictable Breakup of the Year: the Darkness

Comedy Album of the Year: Khlyst, Chaos Is My Name

Catchphrase We're Psyched to Be Associated With: (tie) "invisible oranges" and "good cop/bad cop"

Catchphrase We're Not So Psyched to Be Associated With: "nigel hipsters"

Now, on to the Top 40 list…

1. Mastodon - Blood Mountain
2. Battle of Mice - A Day of Nights
3. Converge - No Heroes
4. Nachtmystium - Instinct: Decay
5. Cult of Luna - Somewhere Along the Highway
6. Jesu - Silver
7. Celtic Frost - Monotheist
8. Enslaved - Ruun
9. Tragedy - Nerve Damage
10. Gojira - From Mars to Sirius
11. Agalloch - Ashes Against the Grain
12. Burst - Origo
13. Isis - In The Absence of Truth
14. Akercocke - Words That Go Unspoken, Deeds That Go Undone
15. Taint - The Ruin of Nova Roma
16. Craft - Fuck the Universe
17. The Hope Conspiracy - Death Knows Your Name
18. Napalm Death - Smear Campaign
19. Planes Mistaken For Stars - Mercy
20. Iron Maiden - A Matter of Life and Death
21. Suffocation - Suffocation
22. Fucked Up - Hidden World
23. DragonForce - Inhuman Rampage
24. Jucifer - If Thine Enemy Hunger
25. Killswitch Engage - As Daylight Dies
26. Katatonia - The Great Cold Distance
27. Unearthly Trance - The Trident
28. Goatwhore - A Haunting Curse
29. Scott Walker - The Drift
30. Genghis Tron - Dead Mountain Mouth
31. Made Out of Babies - Coward
32. Engineer - Reproach
33. Lamb of God - Sacrament
34. Boris - Pink
35. Kylesa - Time Will Fuse Its Worth
36. Protest the Hero - Kezia
37. Cretin - Freakery
38. The Sword - Age of Winters
39. Mogwai - Mr. Beast
40. First Blood - Killafornia

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