May 24, 2000 - Nintendo's stunning Joanna Dark model stopped by an Electronics Boutique outlet local to Santa Monica, California, yesterday to hand off the very first copy of Rare's first-person shooter. The publicity stunt was the final of many Nintendo events that served to ensure nobody on the planet would be unaware of the massive game. Since a picture is worth 1,000 words:

Click on the image for an even bigger version

IGN64 used its new picture-mind-reading-sensor on the above image to find out exactly what the Joanna Dark model is thinking. Here's the transcript:

Okay -- look sexy. Now hold it. Hold it. Hold it. There, that wasn't so bad. Now if I could just get away from all of these geeks. These guys are even dorkier than that drunken loser from IGN that wouldn't stop hassling me in Las Vegas.

Hey -- what's up with this pint-sized EB clerk? He scares me. Better not get too close or he may use his magic Willow powers on me.

Come on Nintendo, I did what you asked. Please get me out of here. For crying out loud, I can't take these ner--

Unfortunately, our picture-mind-reading-sensor ran out of batteries at this point.