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This week in the world of lesbian gossip
Article Date: 09/19/2007

By Tracy E. Gilchrist

It was revenge of the hot nerds at the 59th Annual Emmy Awards! Congrats to that smokin’ sexy nerd, Ms. Tina Fey for pulling down the award for Best Comedy for her brilliantly witty 30 Rock.

And to eat-her-with-a-spoon cute America Ferrara for pulling down Best Actress in a Comedy in Ugly Betty. It just goes to show that even boob-tube devotees like a gal with a big brain.

Thanks to Fox for forcing six hours of their—snooze—golden boy Ryan Seacrest on the television viewing public, since he ran the red carpet schmooze-fest and hosted the show.

But it was worth price of the three-hours-plus price of admission for the Glenn Close, Kyra Sedgwick, Mary Louise Parker triumvirate of presenters.

The three stunning titans gave the old self-congratulatory nod to television for creating great roles for women over 40. It’s about f***ing time is all I can say to that. Check out the clip:

Sister Bertrille / Gidget got bleeped for swearing on television? Or for pissing off Bill O’Reilly and Rupert Murdoch with her anti-war stance? It’s tough to know. What’s clear is that while there’s no refuting Sally Field’s acting chops, the cutie-pie cougar can’t give a coherent acceptance speech to save her ass. Awww. Sally gets a pass for stumbling through her speech, since she’s such an adorable acting legend who dared talk shit about the war while in the enemy’s camp—Fox Networks that is.

Among other Emmy highlights: Ellen and Portia looking happy and representing for the Lesbos, sexy-assed fence sitter Queen Latifah honoring the cast of Roots and the rousing standing O for the cast of America’s fave mobster family, The Sopranos—and a big yum to Edie Falco’s dress and hair.

Speaking of Queen, girl graces this month’s cover of Ebony—looking absolutely gorgeous and riding a hog no less. Infer whatever you will from that loaded word hog but this time it means motorcycle.

But while Queen looks butch-delicious on the cover, once again she fails to address the gay rumors, according to—stating that she has "no comment" when asked if she is dating her female trainer. In fact, she says: "And if the readers don’t know me, then that's one part they aren’t going to get to know. Those are my people but they don’t sleep with me."

Everyone loves a girl who thinks for herself, save for when it’s a Kool-Aid guzzling hot-assed right wing, nut job like Little Lezzie—uh, Lissy Hasselbeck. While Lissy might be a “Fanilow,” legendary crooner and perennial Friend of Dorothy, Barry Manilow put his pump down and declared he wouldn’t appear on The View if Lissy were part of the interview. “I strongly disagree with her views. I think she’s dangerous and offensive. I will not be on the same stage as her,” said the man who got his start playing piano for Bette Midler amidst hordes of glistening, naked men in Greenwich Village bath houses.

Like the Bush Administration’s minions, Babs Walters and The View’s producers stood by their requisite conservative puppet and told old Barry to suck it. It’s sad. Less than a year ago, The View ladies, including mega-Fanilow Big Rosie O, were singing up a storm with Mary—I mean Barry. It’s beginning to look like Rosie O’s Chairwoman of the Board of the gay mafia. If that’s the case, then Lissy’s career’s headed for a big ole swim with the fishes.

But even Rosie O might be headed for the big drink after turning down the even bigger O—Oprah—to appear on the daytime diva’s show. Known for spilling her guts like a teenaged girl after body shots and a couple of keg stands, Rosie O lets loose in her tell-all, Celebrity Detox, and Oprah wanted in on the scoop.

Having granted a single interview on the subject to Diane Sawyer, Rosie declined an invite to appear on Oprah’s show and discuss the book. Apparently, it’s too difficult for Rosie to discuss the painful events that led to her penning the celebrity bitch-fest. “i do not feel ready to discuss or defend the things i shared on those 209 pages. read it urself. take away what u need. leave the rest. it is what it is,” Rosie wrote in her highly academic writing style.

Let’s face it, even at whatever age Diane Sawyer is, she’s still the hottest piece of ass in the news and maybe Ro just wanted in on it—or maybe she’s gunning for Diane’s brilliant director hubby Mike Nichols to make the movie.

Faith, spirituality, dogma—it’s all great but mix it with just plain stupid and you get The View’s latest acquisition Sherri Shepherd not merely espousing creationism but denouncing evolution. Sure, Sherri has every right to believe in her bible but when newly-crowned moderator Whoopi Goldberg asked lemming-like Sherri if she thought the world was flat or round, Sherri said, "I don't know. I never thought about it Whoopi. Is the world flat? I never thought about... I... I... No... But I'll tell you what I have thought about. How I'm going to feed my child, take care of my family. 'Is the world flat' has not been an important thing to me."

Here’s a thought—raising a child as a tunnel-visioned dumb-ass might just border on abuse. It’s no accident Sherri’s name is Shepherd because she’s just following the flock. Between Sherri and Lissy the show’s teeming with nut-job ideology. Even curmudgeonly funny lady Joy Behar can barely muster the energy to argue with those saucer-eyed loopy broads.

Congrats to the hottest MILF on the block, Mary Louise Parker. MLP’s joined the likes of humanitarian adopt-aholics Empress Angelina and Her Madgesty Madonna and adopted an African baby to take back to her “Little Box” in Southern California. Mary Louise already has a baby with philandering SOB—but fine actor—Billy Crudup, who knocked her up and then cheated on her with Claire Danes. Grrrrr.

On the subject of Weeds, Olsen Twin Mary Kate proves she’s more than just a tiny purveyor of shabby chic / dumpster-diving couture, and pulls in a fun little showing as a God-loving pothead who falls for MLP’s Nancy Botwin’s son Silas. Sure, a spaced out, hippy pothead isn’t much of a stretch for Mary Kate but she pulled it off in her first episode. Here’s hoping MK can move beyond her legacy of diapers and pacifiers. Check out a scene featuring Mary from the show:

Top Chef’s culinary cutie-pie Casey Thompson received an enviable wake-up call from the show’s super hot-assed hostess Padma Lakshmi on this week’s episode. Actually, Padma woke up all of the contestants and demanded breakfast—kind of like a one-night-stand who’s hungry in the morning.

Either Padma herself, or the producers, knew that Padma spending a little extra time lifting Casey’s sheets and tickling the 29-year-old Jennifer Anniston look-a-like, would make for some hot ratings. Thanks to whomever commandeered that Sapphic treat and good luck to Casey who’s not only cute, but humble and a damned fine chef. Maybe next week Padma will demand Casey roll her a post-coital cigarette… a girl can dream.

Wacky director extraordinaire Julie Taymor’s trippy paean to The Beatles, Across the Universe, opens this week. This wild tribute to psychedelics stars the Lolita-like Evan Rachel Wood, with appearances by Bono and Eddie Izzard. But the money shot is Steamy Salma Hayek—Taymor’s Frida—as a quintet of singing waitresses. Yum!

Lastly, Pop-diva Pink was loving the proverbial pink at West Hollywood’s Eleven nightclub on Saturday. The admittedly, occasionally Sapphic-leaning sis—who’s married to bad-boy Carey Hart—brought her girl posse to the DVD release party for the lesbian-themed aerial love fest The Gymnast. For a pic of Pink entwined with The Gymnast’s buff star Drea Weber, check out

© 2007; All Rights Reserved. Article Tools

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