The obligation of Man to live with his Woman in kindness.


It is upon the husband to live with his woman in the best and kindness way possible and to be lenient with her in anything that Allah has allowed. There are various hadith about this:  

The Prophet (saw) said: "The best of you, is the one who is best to his wives, and I am the best of you toward my wives." (At-Tahaawi: Saheeh)

The Prophet (saw) said in the farewell Hajj: "…. Listen, and take my counsel with regard to women. Be good to them for they are captives with you. (Tuhfatul Ahwadhee Sharh-Tirmidhee: 4/326 and Sharh Ibn Maajah: 1/567)

The Prophet (saw) said: ".... it is true that you have certain rights with regard to your women, but they also have right over you. If they abide by your right then to them belongs the right to be fed and clothed in kindness. Do treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers." (At-Tirmidhee and Ibn Maajah: Saheh)

The Prophet (saw) said: "Let no male believer ever hate a female believer. Though he may dislike one attribute of hers, he will be (surely) pleased with another." (Muslim)

The Prophet (saw) said: "The believer with the most complete faith is the one with the best character. And the best of them are those who treat their women the best." (At-Tirmidhee: Hassan)

Further more there are plenty of hadith that shows the nice and kind way our prophet (saw) lived with his wives.

On the authority of Aisha (ra) (the wife of the Prophet (saw)) who said: “On the Eid, the prophet (saw) called me while the Ethiopians were playing with their spears in the masjid saying “O little red one, would you like to watch them?” I said “yes”. Then he had me stand behind him and dropped his shoulders so that I could see. I rested my chin on his shoulder with my face against his cheek, and watched from over his shoulder. When I came bored with the exhibition, he said to me “Have u had enough?” I said,  “Don’t rush.” And so he continued standing for me. When he asked me the second time if I had had enough, I again told him not to rush. I saw him switching the his feet from weariness.”

Aisha said: “I really had no desire to look at them, I only wished for the news to reach the women of the way he stood there for me, and the regard he had for me though I was only a girl. So appreciate the status of a girl young in age and fond of pleasure and fun.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Also on the authority of Aisha who said: “The Prophet  (saw) returned from the battle of Tabuk, or it was Khaybar. There was a curtain over her room. The wind blew, lifting the curtain and exposing part of the room in which the Prophet (saw) saw some dolls with which Aisha used to play. He said, “What is this, O Aisha?” She said: “My daughters.” (Arabs used to call dolls for “daughters”) He saw among them a horse with two wings made of pieces of cloth. He said “And what is this in the middle?” She said, “A horse.” He said, “and what are those on the horse?” She said: “Two wings.” He said, ”A horse with two wings?!” Aisha said: “The Prophet (saw) laughed until I could see his molar teeth” (Abu Daawood, an-Nasaa’ee).

Also on the authority of Aisha who reported that she was once on a trip with the Prophet (saw) while she was still a young girl. “I had not acquired excess body flesh, nor had my body become large. The Prophet (saw) said to his companions “Move on ahead.” When they had gone on ahead of us, he said “Come, and I will race you.” Then, I beat him in a foot race. Later on, I again was on a trip with him and he said again to his companions “Go on ahead” And then he said to me “Come, and I will race you.” I had completely forgotten the previous incident. Moreover, I had become heavier. I said to him: “How can I race you when I am in this condition?” He said, “You will race me!” So I raced him, and he won the race. Then he began laughing and said, “This is for that victory.” (Al-Humaidi, an-Nasaa’ee, Abu-Dawood)

Also on the authority of Aisha who said: The Prophet (saw) used to be brought a glass of milk from which I would drink first. Then he would take the glass and drink, putting his mouth on the same spot where my mouth had been. Other times, I used to take a piece of meat and eat from it. Then he would take it and eat putting his mouth on the same area on which I had put mine.” (Muslim, Ahmad)

On the authority of Jaabir ibn Abdullaah and Jaabir ibn Umair, who both reported that the Prophet (saw) said: “All things in which there is no mention of Allah are frivolity, absent-mindedness, and idle play except for four things: A man being playful with his wife, training his horse, walking between two purposeful goals, and teaching another to swim.” (An-Nasaa’ee, at-Tabarani and others.